Legs & Eggs

Leggers and Eggers, my dear friends, we are gathered here today to acknowledge ONE YEAR OF LEGS AND EGGS PODCAST! 

Year One is Done. Year Two is New! But we’re not there yet. Gotta celebrate that YEAR ONE with something special. Something authentic. Something like a butt but better. Like two butts. A third butt. 

Which is why we here today welcome you to the LEGS AND EGGS FIRST-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECTACULAR! It is the Third Butt of episodes, bringing you highlights from all throughout the year. We can watch each other change. Like the seasons. Or like when we were little kids and went to the pool together.

It has been a year my dears and with that I bid you ENJOY THE SPECTACULAR! And do keep your eyes out, at it is that time of year again. Fupa Claus may just be one-cheek-sneaking something under your tree skirt this holiday season.

Speaking of the holidays, one of those holidays is Christmas. And Christmas fucking rules for giving and getting shit. You best be doin’ it or you’re a bad commie bastard who might as well be Stalin you sack of gulag ass. Fortunately for you — and FREEDOM! — you can buy a whole of ton of Legs & Eggs merchandise that will satisfy ALL of your giving and receiving needs. Even that one where you pretend to talk to Michael Keaton. You thought I didn’t know about that. But I do. And I have. For a long time now. We have hoodies. You would look great in them. You know who else would look great in them? I bet you do. That’s kinda the point.

Most evenings you can find Sara the Ruthless singing her heart out on the StarMaker karaoke app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.

To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website, shows.acast.com/legsandeggs. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s two in the afternoon here. Heather is really fucking drunk and off getting a recreational pap smear. Captain Karl the Sex Doll filled in your mom, and then filled in for Heather in this amazing collaboration we got going on. We have ANTHROPOS! What’s that you ask? We’ll let Alexander Wolf, of Wolf Mountain Workshop explain. 

“Alexander became wickedly jealous that Monte was able to be on the podcast promoting inc: The Podcast, very early in our current seasonal run, and he has harbored this hatred for as long as possible. In an effort to promote the heck-a-roonie out of their season before it ends in December, Alexander begged, pleaded, and finally sent some of his extra fingers through the mail to the Legs and Eggs podcast, at which point they agreed, but only if he provided them with some top-quality horror-ish fiction to read and act out on their stunning show. Knowing he couldn’t produce anything top quality, he sent more fingers (not extra this time), along with a script entitled ANTHROPOS. A deal was struck, and history made.” 

America’s favorite side piece Tommy J Shrimps is back. I think he kind of lives in the basement now. Like part-time. He goes somewhere else but there’s a mattress here and sometimes we find a Cheetos bag. Oh, and like always, we have the technical difficulties you all crave. 

The seasons are changing. The weather is getting cool. Keytar cool. You know what that means. Your sperm count is rising because your testicles are cooler, and cooler balls mean better swimmers during turtleneck season. It also means Legs and Eggs Hoodies! Stay cozy this fall and winter with your customizable hoodie from The Legs & Eggs Store. All your Groping friends will be wearing them. Choose your design, style, and color and have Legs and Eggs keep you warm and toasty. And if you are looking to redesign your bathroom or need something to wear to the Met Gala, we have shower curtains too!

Most evenings you can find Sara the Ruthless singing her heart out on the StarMaker karaoke app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.

To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website, shows.acast.com/legsandeggs. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us!

Wolf Mountain Work Shop is 

Alexander Wolfe can be contacted at writingwolfe.com, or by searching inc: The Podcast. Alternatively, he can be summoned by prematurely burying a treasured and well-loved childhood plaything. He will find you. And you will sit together. And you will talk. 

Monte Monteleagre can be contacted at montedmonteleagre.com. But let it be known in this moment, that everybody, and I mean everybody, must walk the road they set their feet on. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have three, count them THREE excellent guests this week! First, Lauren from the Well Behaved Women podcast is back! She joins Sara and Klem in a conversation with Uther Naysmith where they talk about UK politics and why he left the Labour Party. They also discuss Oppenheimer, how propaganda is mind control, and Julian Assange. Next, we welcome Bo Dunk, who is a Navy vet from Texas. He talks to Heather, Sara, and Klem about his military experience, how fucked up the VA is, and of course, politics. We give shout outs to some of our Patreon subscribers, Hillary’s Kill List, and a very special bonus song by Cancelled Tom Waits. So get comfy, grab yourself a can of creamed corn, and let’s go.

Uther Naysmith is a socialist activist in the UK. He has a master’s degree in law with special interests in human rights and labor law. He has written articles and pamphlets for left wing organizations on topics ranging from civil liberties to a critique of capitalist contract law. 

Bo Dunk is a Navy veteran who also does freelance sticker design, stand-up hypnosis, a writer, and an advocate for poverty reduction and American rights protection. DM on Instagram if you are looking to discuss any issue, or email [email protected]

Legs and Eggs now has a YouTube channel! We’re taking requests…what do you want to see us do next? (No, we’re not doing that. Get your mind out of the gutter, loser.) Let us know by sending an email, call us at (*67 first to restrict your number) 929-263-4165, or send us a message on any of our social media accounts, which you access by visiting our website.

I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165

You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are some really cool people in this world, and we have been so lucky to have talked to two of the coolest of the cool. First, we have more of Fupa and Heather’s interview with Fox from the Conspiracy Soldiers podcast where they talk about the unknown of Antarctica and everyone’s favorite pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein. Then Sara and Klem speak with Lauren Schill, a self-proclaimed Anarchist, from the Well Behaved Women podcast. They have a really interesting conversation about the different forms of government and what things like socialism, anarchism, and democracy actually mean. We also have Red Sawyer with All Things Shitty, Heather gives us the all-important BLT update, and get Fupa’s reaction to Lauren Boebert’s favorite way to enjoy the theater while we enjoy game night.

You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.

Let Klem and Fupa make your holidays a little merrier by celebrating Christmas in Brooklyn! This masterpiece is available as a print AND Christmas cards! We also have Sara Hates Christmas and Girl Boss Heather and more available at our store. Don’t sleep on these, there are limited quantities, and we don’t want anyone to miss out. 

Keep up with all things Legs and Eggs, like our new Bluesky account, by bookmarking our website shows.acast.com/legsandeggs

Don’t forget to rate and review the podcast and send us your address in the 911 ways you can reach out to us. DMs are open, you can even call us 929-263-4165.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back fan favorite, America’s Side Piece, Mr. Tommy J Shrimps! We had some insightful conversations about sharting, Shaq and Vern Troyer, and Klem has questions about the male anatomy that Mr. Shrimps and Fupa were eager to answer. We also had an interesting chat with a man who calls himself GOD. Yes, that’s his name. He gave us his perspective on tons of different subjects, and Klem may or may not adopt him. There is also Hillary’s Kill List, Florida Man, and so much more! Don’t forget to leave us a 5 Star rating and a review then DM on Twitter or email us your address, and we will send you a postcard signed by all four of us!

The seasons are changing, the weather is getting cool. You know what that means. No, you basic bitch, not pumpkin spice lattes. Legs and Eggs Hoodies! Stay cozy this fall and winter with your customizable hoodie from The Legs & Eggs store. Choose your design, style, and color and have Legs and Eggs keep you warm and toasty. If you are looking to redesign your bathroom, we have shower curtains too. 

You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.

To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twenty-two years. The Deuce-Deuce. Dos Equis but with towers instead of horses. 

Did we forget? We would never.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have two, count them, TWO of the nicest and most likeable guests this week! First, Fupa and Heather talk to Fox from the Conspiracy Soldiers Podcast, who happens to be one of the coolest podcasters in the business. He is just sick and tired of what is going on in the world. He also agrees that Billy Joel has a punchable face, so that instantly makes him one of us! Next, we have J Hizzle to give us a firsthand account of two of our favorite things here at Legs and Eggs: The Cape Cod Melody Tent and The Barnstable County Fair. We gave her the hard-hitting questions about what she saw, what she smelled, and how many mullets there were. We also have the return of fan favorite Inside the Actor’s Bathtub, Hillary’s Kill List (RIP Vince Foster), and next year’s Tony Award winning show “Dry Hump: The Musical”. 

Have you checked out the all-new Legs and Eggs website yet? No? Then what the flippety fuck are you waiting for? You can listen to all our episodes, visit all our social media (Hey, we’re on Insta now!) plus, do all your holiday shopping early at our incredible merch store! Just click here to start the fun!

Want more Legs and Eggs? Of course you do! Join our Patreon for things like bonus content, signed pics, a Christmas card, a guest appearance, and most important of all, our love

Our County Fair t-shirts are back in stock after selling out (except XS. Who wears XS?). Get em while they are hot and check out all our other designs and products on our store.

I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165

Have you ever wanted to sing in a No Loads Refused Cum Dump? Well here is your chance! Just download the Starmaker app and look for Sara the Ruthless for you chance to sing LIVE with Sara!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we welcome Lucas Daniels from the podcast Broken Shovel: Homesteading for a Sustainable Future. He talks to Sara and Klem about living a self-sustaining lifestyle and lessening our reliance on Capitalism by commerce, trade, and helping within our own communities. He also makes his own hot sauce! Plus, what would Karl do with a life-size Karl doll? We get serenaded by J Robert Oppenhiemer. Heather has road rage and Fupa tells a tale about his good friend Nick Carter. 

You can check out Lucas’ podcast on Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts. Simply click here for information, bios of Lucas and his two cohosts, Eric and Lily, and of course, episodes of the podcast.

When you join our No Loads Refused Patreon, you’re the tops! Not a twitter-blocking bottom at the aforementioned cum dump event. Show the world how alpha you are with YOUR VERY OWN EPISODE OF LEGS & EGGS! You tell us what you want to do, and we do it with you.* Just like your mom. Long and slow with the finger in the hole. *(Legs & Eggs reserves the right to refuse. Like, we're not gonna show hole or do that thing Max Cady from Cape Fear tries to make the mom and daughter do when they're in that boat. Or the end of Requiem For A Dream. Not doin' that shit.) 

We now have a YouTube channel that is sure to make all future Cornographers and Puppeteers give up on their dreams because no one does it better. NO ONE.

If you are looking for easy access to Legs and Eggs social media, all episodes, t shirts, and more, we put it all together for you on our fancy website. Bookmark or Favorite that biatch so you never miss one second of Fupa Jones, the actor, or a song from Big Dick.

Wanna chat? Tell us about your day? Maybe you are looking for No Fap advice? Call us at 929-263-4165 and restrict your number using *67. We don’t wanna know who you are. You can always email us at [email protected] too.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s August 10, 2023, so Happy Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself Day for all who celebrate! We have jam packed so much in this week’s episode! Obviously, we talk about losing a National Treasure—Pee Wee Herman. We have Tommy Shrimps back answering No Fap, and we deep dive into conspiracy theories; how they can start, why some people believe them, and how there can usually be some truth to some (most?) of them. We find out once and for all if Karl is real, and the return of Hillary’s Kill List.

Have you checked out the all-new Legs and Eggs website yet? No? Then what the flippety fuck are you waiting for? You can listen to all our episodes, visit all our social media (Hey, we’re on Insta now!) plus, do all your holiday shopping early at our incredible merch store! Just click here to start the fun!

Our Patreon is where all the action really is. Early access, bonus content, Legs and Eggs swag, and if you dare to go Inside the Actor’s Butthole, Fupa Jones, the actor, will send you a signed pic of his butt. That’s right! Fupa’s ass can be framed and hung in your home! What are you waiting for?

I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From a hotel in Atlantic City, this week’s guest is world renowned social media influencer, Tommy J Shrimps! Mr. Shrimps takes time away from looking for HPV infected cigarettes to talk to us about ethical load refusal, the difference between Vegas and Atlantic City, his stupid cousin, and we show him the Dick Store. We also have Florida Man, more Vermin Supreme, and Klem tells us her Top 10 Horniest Billy Joel songs and why. 

Looking for Legs and Eggs unedited? A little behind the scenes action? Maybe a mug to hide your wine in. Join our Patreon and choose Heather’s Wine O’Clock tier and get those plus so much more. She even has some secret cocktail recipes she is willing to share. Pop the cork, baby!

You can send us your thoughts, your comments, or our favorite, tell us to fuck off. Email us, call us at 929-263-4165, or if you’re all paranoid about your caller id and shit, leave us an anonymous voicemail.

T-Shirts! T-Shirts! Get your Custom Legs and Eggs T-Shirts! There are hundreds of options. Choose your favorite color and style, and then which graphic and BOOM! Customized shirt! You can also get a nekkid Fupa Jones shower curtain. You know you want him to watch you poop. 

Don’t forget to download the StarMaker app and look for Sara the Ruthless to sing karaoke LIVE with Sara! Just don’t be creepy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.