“They say there is only suffering. Even happiness is just another form of suffering. And I can see that. But what do you do with that knowledge? Do you still go to birthday parties? Do you go on dates? And what do you say? Do you just say ultimately happiness and unhappiness are just the head and tail of the same snake? I don’t know if there’s a quick and easy solution I can give to that. And if you have one, please hit me up.” - Leon Sandler
 
ACZC’s own Leon Sandler takes the hot seat to tell us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here. From Denver to Istanbul, spanning continents and lifetimes, Leon spins us a story of the great open question: what does it mean to live a normal life in a practice that deconstructs any such notion into the ridiculousness of oblivion? Find out here!

Leon Sandler - Spinning Plates (What Am I Doing Here??)

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“We are the lonely all together. All together, we’re all alone.” - John Prine
 
Dave indulges us in a little story time while also indulging in some explananing of how koans work with a classic tale of dharma drama, jealous rivalries, and onomatopoetic poetry. What should we ask in practice discussion when we don’t know what to say? Can we find a safe place for our passions instead of practicing them away? Does every living creature really die alone, and wait… isn’t that something we all share?? Find out here!

The Lighter Side of Darkness (Story Time) w/ Dave Cuomo

“I've seen too much, man. I know what's out there. And it's not all bad. And it's also not all good.” - Sara Campbell
 
Sara revels in the nightmare of a beautiful spring evening, the fragility of the daffodils, the darkness of the rain, and the five powers that can turn that nightmare into a perfectly present dream. How do we remember to notice the cool breeze of a deep blue twilight when all we feel is dark? Can we include fear and pessimism in our all inclusiveness, or are they the absence of all inclusiveness? And will anyone remember to bring light and laughter to the bodhisattva of light and laughter? Find out here!

The Shadow of Happiness (The 5 Powers) w/ Sara Campbell

“When the problem is a part of you, there is no problem, because you are the problem itself.” - Shunryu Suzuki
 
Emily brings us a meditation on problems, problem solving, and all the machinations, rationalizations, and somersaults we do to try to prove that our problems are somewhere outside of ourselves, and then what happens when we start to point that finger right back where it came from. When is the problem actually other people? Have we earned that sense of superiority we get from meditating while our partners are sleeping in? Are our thoughts pulling us away from ourselves, and is that even possible?? Find out here!

You Are the Problem w/ Emily Eslami

“It’s not an attainment, it’s a lament.” - Dave Cuomo
 
Dave tries to figure out his purpose and articulate what meaning in Zen is while trying to give a talk in a park with threatening geese and impending rain on a retreat not going entirely to plan. What are the stages of meaning making and how do we rate? Is Dave’s level as off the charts as he claims? And what are the secret criteria for trustworthy lay leaders and Zen teachers?? Find out here!

Lost & Found (Meaning & Purpose) w/ Dave Cuomo

“The biggest change for me is to stop feeling like I should have it all figured out. And stop believing that anyone else does; and finding it a deep red flag if they claim to.” - Sara Campbell
 
Sara marks her five year anniversary with ACZC by taking stock and admitting how maybe all this goalless practice has changed her for the better, while the sangha takes the opportunity to get personal and share what’s working, what’s not, and how those kind of assessments may or may not be working out for them. Will we ever be able to untangle the big ball of yarn that is ourselves? Will the sangha exhaust the limits of that metaphor? (absolutely... knot!) Find out here!

Leon Sandler - Spinning Plates (What Am I Doing Here??)

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