Let Go and Be Free

As we go through life, there are times when we need to stop and reflect on what we feel and think about the 12 Steps.

With the second step, there are questions about control, trust, and faith.

How do you feel about the second step?

How do you feel?

Is this step easy for your or difficult?

There's no wrong answer. There's only what you experience as you're figuring out how to move forward with your healing.

By reflecting on the present, taking time to focus on the steps helps you decide where you want to go in life and how best to find healing.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

On an Oprah interview I heard recently, she talked about her having John Bradshaw on her show and how what he shared with her transformed her life.

Bradshaws is the author of such books as "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child."

I found great hope and help in his books and wanted to talk about how to heal your inner child and to overlay what I've learned in the past with the present.

With war, famine, and unrest blossoming in many parts of the world, we can turn on our TV, or go on social media, and it might look like the world is on fire.

But there's another way. We don't have to play into the trap of feeling stress and anxiety.

We can heal and find joy.

Join me so we can continue on the journey together.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

The last time I discussed the first of Adult Children of Alcholics and Dysfunctional Families World Services' 12 Steps was December 2022.

To recommit myself to the steps, I wanted to go through the first step, discuss it, and to see what we've learned since 2022.

No matter if you're new to the 12 Steps or a veteran, there's a lot to learn in taking time to reflect on your past and to compare that period with where you are now in the present.

I invite you to join me on recommitting to the 12 Steps.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Negative thoughts, worrying, and obsessive perseverating can easily pull you down and disrupt your healing.

 How can you overcome negative thoughts?

• Help someone (volunteer, assist a neighbor, or someone in your community).
• Write about your feelings in a daily journal.
• Practice gratitude.
• Be open-minded that learning a new habit takes time.

When we were kids, we may have used negative thoughts as a way to prepare for the worst in any situation. That survival skill might have helped us when we were young, but as adults being negative all the time might be restricting us from enjoying the world around us.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Why do we look for love in the wrong places?

What's really going on inside of us that we act this way?

Are we setting healthy boundaries between us and other people?

Are we living the present as a means of "fixing" what happened to us as kids?

Lots of great questions to work through together and find a path toward happiness.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Each day we have a choice. We can choose a path of healthy behaviors or choose dysfunctional ones.

How do we learn what's good for us and how do we make healthy choices each day?

• Understand your physiology: Your "Lizard Brain."
  • Read the "Don't Listen to Your Lizard Brain" article in Psyhcology Today.
  • From the article: The reptilian part of your brain controls "primitive drives related to thirst, hunger, sexuality, and territoriality, as well as habits and procedural memory."
  • Be sure to take care of your body (eat, sleep, drink water, rest).
• Remember your biology. When afraid or angry, hormones are released into your bloodstream. These hormones can stick around for around 45 minutes if you're angry and that's why it's important to understand your physiology. How to be aware of your anger before it gets out of control:
  • Meditation
  • Take a break
  • Deep breathing
• Center yourself. You need a touchstone that you can trust to help you decide what is healthy and what isn't.
  • Is this true?
  • Is this healthy for me?
  • Strengthen your "adult" voice: "Parent, Child, Adult" voice.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

How do you get by if you are living in a family with active substance abuse or there's unhealthy/dysfunctional behaviors?

Many people don't have the ability to move, but need to find ways to survive.

If in danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Support Hotline or call them at: 800.799.SAFE (7233).

To find healthier ways of living and building your self-confidence so that you can be happy, in this episode we'll discuss:

• The power of reading.
• Using role-play to build trust among friends. Games can be a great source of creating a healthy community.
• Journal writing and the power of the written word.
• Learning the importance of the word "yet" and how such a small word can build hope for you and your future.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Apologies for the poor sound quality as I had issues with my mic.

In growing up, we may have learned that arguing was bad, or worse, we may have seen unhealthy ways of resolving conflict.

Here are several fair fighting rules that you and your partner (or friend, family, etc.) can use:

Rules for Fair Fighting

• Use "I" statements. When you say "I feel upset beccause I'm afraid" that is being direct and vulnerable. Avoiding "you" statements is essential in effective communication.
• The purpose of an argument is to solve the issue at hand and not the 10 other examples you happen to have ready of what the person has done to you in the past. Focus on the present and only the matter at hand.
• No cursing or name calling.
• Listen. Really listen to the person and take turns talking. When the person has expressed their point, validate back to them what you heard them say. And then go on to share your feelings.
• Avoid throwing up blockers: "I don't have time to talk now" (and never agreeing there is a good time). Or changing the subject to avoid the issue at hand.
• No yelling at each other. When you're screaming at someone or they're screaming at you, finding a calm resolution becomes that much more difficult. Treat the other person with respect and ask that they do the same to you.
• Take a break. Arguments aren't supposed to last for hours. If you've had enough, ask for a short break, and then come back later to resolve the conflict.
• Come to a solution. Find a compromise that you both agree on or some understanding. If not, the argument will only come back to haunt you both at a future date.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Grieving for our past: That we never had normal childhoods. Especially when we get older and compare how we see how others lived.

-We can become resentful, angry, and filled with envy. -President Theodore Roosevelt once said: "Comparison is the thief of joy."

Grieving that time has passed us by (looking back or around and seeing how much we've wasted time focusing on things that don't truly matter).

-We can only deal with today. Focusing only on the past or the future, robs us of the power and agency we have today.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Blaming everyone around us and not taking responsibility for our own health and actions can keep us trapped in life. 

Do we point the finger at others and use it to absolve ourselves from being accountable?

Why do we allow ourselves to remain trapped by our past?

How do we grow?

Using our past to create sympathy and compassion for us is manipulative and also keep us from living a healthy and happy life.

We can find ways to let go of unhealthy behaviors and learn how to come to terms with the trauma we lived through.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• Google podcasts

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)