That's right, everyone! It's time at last for us introduce the best worst BEST character in all of Homestuck, the one and only Spidertroll. She makes a big splash in her first appearance, mind-controlling Tavros into throwing himself off a cliff and thereby kickstarting a horrible chain reaction of revenge that forever scars the bonds of friendship between our Alternian buddies. Aside from that though, who's this white-text douchebag?

Things are going about as badly as they could for our troll friends. Karkat is on the run from multiple murderers. Kanaya, Feferi and Tavros are all dead. Terezi vendetta against Vriska is making her miss real danger. Gamzee has gone on a murderous rampage. Eridan is somewhere in the meteor and one of them seems to have developed a taste for blood. It's not all doom and gloom. John meets WV and they have a great time in a flying car. John and Jade talk about sinking ships and Vriska opens up about her thoughts on killing.

Andrew Hussie reveals himself as not Lord English and takes us on another recap that Ashley doesn't read. Jade learns some stuff about herself by talking to herself and a Karkat that seems much nicer. WV has a nightmare that shows his darkest fears. Aradia finally explodes after saying goodbye to Sollux, but that doesn't mean she's dead. Vriska and Tavros finally have their showdown and they have a bad time. Kanaya talks to Jade about the mysterious breeding Space players must do and how their universe works. Eridan gets into an argument over meeting up with Bec Noir and there are deadly consequences as we start to enter a dark period of Homestuck.

Do you feel the holiday spirit in the air? Do you hear the shitty JPEG aritfacted bells? It's Gristmas! Between opening and making gifts we see how Vriska went god tier in maybe the most grisly way. We see Jade make a ton of neat stuff. Dave confronts his own and Terezi makes statements about luck. Then Jade does something and the most important character in Homestuck is revealed.

Luke and Ashley dive deeper into Hivebent, getting acquainted with a whole mess of new troll friends, and the plot Sollux and Aradia are weaving to save the world through SGRUB. Well, that's what Sollux is doing. Aradia has... ulterior motives.

Jade is FINALLY in the game and now has to deal with all the consequences of what just happened, including talking to Bec. Dave assures her that everything is going to be fine and pirates a copy of a game. Rose finally reveals the plan she's been cooking up and it may have horrible consequences. John recovers from the windy thing and walks around town while Vriska talks to him about some special type of bed.

Molly and Ashley are very happy to return to Jade but there's no earthly way of knowing what she's dreaming about. She gets into a conversation with two different Karkats. Rose is even more spooky and has a crystal ball. Dave is hanging around Derse reading books. John finally learns how exactly they fuck everything up and we realize it's consequences as we have our first death.

IT'S TIME. Luke and Ashley take the plunge into the fifth act of Homestuck, and spend some time getting themselves properly acquainted with the trolls. They learn about Karkat's love of bad romcoms and bad programming languages, Gamzee's prophetic religious beliefs, and Terezi's insatiable thirst for justice. Also, there's a password screen at some point? Eh that's probably nothing.

Molly and Ashley finally live their dreams and be Karkat (along with Vriska and Terezi.) They talk to their companions, give orders about not sleeping and RP'ing. As they go deeper into the meteor they uncover secrets about the past and the not too distant future. Meanwhile in the kids session John is connecting with Jade, Dave is from the future, Rose is still creepy and Jade is MIA.

After finally learning Kanaya's name Rose then asks if she knows anything about the mysterious and capitalized "Green Sun." Kanaya tells Rose that she can't see her in the future. Terezi starts looking at a cool kid and gets paid. Jade falls on a bed and instantly falls asleep. John gets a nifty new outfit and starts to learn some troll names. Dave cries and then commits fraud on the stock market with himself. Karkat gives romance advice and learns about incest. WHAT AN EP!