John is in the Medium and needs to build up! Rose helps him do so and has

a....weird discussion with Jade. Dave introduces us to Lil Cal. Jules is

worried.

Jake is dragged to a meeting that spans galaxies and time as the post-scratch and pre-scratch trolls meet. Dirk has more weird stuff going on with himself. We learn about the miles and how no one can escape them, even across sessions. UU and uu have a chess game where uu reveals another twist. Jane and Jake end up on Derse through various means and it all seems like a bad scene. Roxy has what may be a final conversation with uu and we finally learn her name.

Jules and Molly learn more about Skaia, Dave's Psyche, and how fucked up Rose's home life is!

Jack Noir is locked up in a Prospit jail cell and he's not going to rest until he's escaped, no matter how many people he's got to stab. Jake talks to Aranea and she reveals powers that put everyone on edge. DD plays everything cool and gets the mysterious "void ring." Mean uu asks Dirk to draw him some porn and Dirk is all for it, too bad there's just the shittiest twist ending.

Jules and Molly talk about Rose, Dave, and how it's even possible to rap for this boy.

Molly and Ashley are together for one last "live" ep and it comprises of them wandering through Jade's land, talking to her friends and maybe uncovering some secrets about UU & uu. Mostly it involves a lot of tedious puzzle bullshit. Then Jake knocks himself out and we are treated to a history lesson from the future.

Roxy finds a group of exiles in her lab and Dirk gets jeered. Jane enters the game finally but doesn't prototype anything. Isn't that supposed to be the worst thing? Also that's not a metor, that's a space ship piloted by Her Imperial Condescension. Drik and Roxy come out of their rooms to find a destroyed world in the future. Meanwhile Andrew Hussies nurses Spades Slick and gets a nasty houses guest. Karkat argues with himself again, Rose tells Dave what's going on and Dave and Karkat makes some art. John has a birthday and Terezi meets a new face.

Jesus, there's a goddamn meteor coming down on John's house. That seems bad.

We learn all about this Dirk Strider guy. Well it's kind of impossible to learn ALL about him. He loves Lil Cal, rap battles and My Little Pony. Dirk however has some problems, namely the fact that he doesn't know how to confess his love for Jake and he's constantly harassed by an AI based on himself who reveals deep insecurities he has about himself. But fuck that Dirk puts the head of HB on a pike! He's so cool. We also meet a mysterious new troll in a pretty blue dress. Meanwhile Jane tries to confess to Jake and blows it as bad as she could and Jake says he's ready to explore the adventure of human sexuality. Roxy holds a funeral for her fallen cat, but something else is in there with her.

Not peekin' at the floor butt cause I'm only 13 years old, motherfuckers.