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Welcome to another relatable episode of Let's Relieve Regret. 

On this episode, we start with check-ins and Cause For Applause. Victoria is celebrating a slow and purposeful return to running. Shadoe is thrilled to share a new strategy for clearing out your closet. 

To skip to regrets, tune in at 16:49. 

During regrets, Shadoe shares that she is feeling sentimental for her university friends. She is also having complicated feelings about how to reach out to them to share this sentimentality. During feedback, Victoria notices that Shadoe has some perfection and imposter syndrome holding her back from taking imperfect action. 

Then, Victoria shares a regret she has for the future (and for everyone). She is worried that we haven't paid enough attention to the benefits of hybrid work-models. Shadoe and Victoria then discuss the complexity of forcing thousands of people back to the office. 

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***CONTENT WARNING**  This episode of Let's Relieve Regret has general discussion about sexual assault.  If you need support please reach out to your local crisis centre.  For more resources please visit: https://findahelpline.com/ and https://endingviolencecanada.org/

This week on Let’s Relieve Regret, we welcome Christine Burns, founder of Lady No Kids, for a raw and empowering conversation about healing from childhood trauma, breaking free from people-pleasing, and learning to put yourself first without guilt.

During the check-ins, we share our causes for applause and chat about coaching, wonder words and turns of phrase like "stop shoulding on yourself". 

To skip the check-ins, jump to 20:31. 

Shadoe shares first. Her story is about how she has developed a fear of going out. She mentions feeling sick before each outing. But, she also knows that this is causing a negative feedback loop within herself. During the feedback session, we discover that the lifestyle she lived in her 20s is no longer serving her, and, she has yet to establish what her current lifestyle really is. Christine and Victoria challenge her to seek value from the experience instead of what 'she can offer' to others. 

Then, at the 40:18 mark, Christine shares her powerful story of recovery and self-acceptance, how protecting others once came at the cost of her own well-being, and how she’s since reclaimed her strength and voice.

Together, we explore the emotional impact of words like “should,” the transformation from victim to survivor mindset, and the freedom found in creating your chosen family. A must-listen for women on a healing journey who are ready to release fear, guilt, and self-blame.

Keywords: healing from trauma, people pleasing, self-worth, midlife women, emotional wellness, survivor mindset, chosen family, podcast for women 40+

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Wonder Words Colouring Pages
• Christine on Substack

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What If the Patriarchy Got Womanhood All Wrong?

Why do so many midlife women feel regret about who we became, and who we were told to be? In this candid conversation, three women open up about how media and culture shaped our ideas of “what is cool,” “what makes me worthy,” and “to be loved.”

We unpack the stereotypical roles women and girls have played on TV, how the patriarchy quietly scripts our behavior, and what happens when we realize we’ve been trying to fit into stories written by men.

You’ll hear honest reflections on the “inner cheerleader” — that voice that pushes us to achieve, but sometimes too far — and why it’s time to stop chasing identity and start living with self-trust instead.

If you’ve ever wondered who am I really, beneath what I was told to be? — this episode will resonate deeply.

👉 Perfect for: midlife women, identity seekers, recovering perfectionists, and anyone ready to reclaim their story.

GET LOUISE and VICTORIA'S TINY COURE THE 10-MINUTE OVERWHELM SOLUTION HERE: https://myrecreohealth.myflodesk.com/10minuteoverwhelm

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Welcome to a new season of the Let’s Relieve Regret podcast! In this episode we discuss guilt, gratitude, and seasonal mood shifts.  

During check-in, we celebrate the idea of being a tourist in your own town. We also chat about that teenage yearning to ‘get out of dodge’ no matter where ‘dodge’ happens to be. 

[To skip the check-ins tune in at 8:51]

Shadoe's regret this time is more of a habit than a specific experience. She regrets using guilt as a way to drive action in her life. She has started to notice that making decisions this way usually leads to resentment and emotional hangovers. She knows that it is unrealistic to completely get rid of guilt. Something new she plans to try is to move Guilt from the driver seat to the passenger seat instead. “Or, better yet, get in the trunk.” 

During the feedback session, Victoria explains the five limiting beliefs, including the fear of shining. [13:24]. 

This behaviour influences many of her relationships. Beyond this impact, Shadoe also talks about how she feels a yearning to stay informed. Victoria helps Shadoe to see that guilt is a fallback behavior for her. 

Victoria reminds Shadoe to not suppress negative emotions because they will bubble up later. She also gives everyone a reminder about how to recognize toxic gratitude. 

From there, both hosts discuss the discomfort of noticing a habit that you want to change. There is an impulse to find the why. However, when you want to change a behaviour, finding the pattern of ‘the what’ is more important than finding out ‘why’ you do it. [30:40]

Next up is Victoria’s turn to share a regret. 

Victoria explains that in her work, and in previous episodes of this podcast, she has talked a lot about mental health stigma, especially Seasonal Affective Disorder (or S.A.D.). She struggles with S.A.D. in the winter. 

She explains that she recently discovered that it is possible to struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder in the summer too. It does happen, it is just less common than S.A.D. in the winter. The symptoms are ultimately the same: feeling sad, listless, down; with a loss of interest in your activities, loss of energy, sleep problems and appetite changes. There is more research available for winter-onset S.A.D. but the summer-onset S.A.D. is not as well known.  

The hosts then have a cool discussion about probable reasons that people would suffer from S.A.D. in the summer, such as heat and humidity impacting their sleep patterns and clothing choices. Shadoe mentions that a common side effect of SSRI’s is sun-sensitivity, which makes being outside in the summer more difficult.

Victoria has a great piece of year-round advice. Be aware of the seasons you thrive and be kind to yourself during the other ones. [50:16]

We end our episode with a calming breathing exercise, led by Victoria. 

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We are taking a break from our regular format to discuss the state of the world.  Shadoe and Victoria have a very open and honest conversation about: 

- how we are feeling about the challenging times we are in (trade wars, politics, climate change and inflation) how do we cope in our daily lives and make sure we are still staying mentally, emotionally, physically healthy so that we can stay connected and help heal the world. 

-we also touch on the topics of: fear and fear-based decision making, moments of joy and hope, road rage, emotional discharge, bystander effect, sympathy and compassion for everyone, sympathy and compassion for ourselves , how important it is to take a few seconds to retrain your brain for optimism.  

During our regular format, we always ask before providing feedback. But today you can be in the room as Shadoe and Victoria have a very real conversation about how they are feeling. 

2 Key Takeaways:

If you regularly offer unsolicited advice, here is a strategy to keep in your back-pocket.  Before offering the advice, try asking this one key question. 

What can you say when you know a friend is going through something hard, without minimizing their feelings and also offering real supportive words.  Stay until the end we reveal this lifechanging statement.  

LINKS
Mini-Episode: What is Toxic Positivity?

Related Episode: Discharging vs. Letting Go

Most Popular Episode: Being Nicer to Myself

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On this episode we welcome guest Danielle Sebastian.

Danielle Sebastian is an expert on identifying and overcoming trauma in relationships. She is the bestselling author of "Resilient Wives: A Guide for Wives Supporting Their Husband Through Childhood Trauma Recovery" and has helped hundreds navigate and repair their relationships as they support their partners through trauma recovery.  After 9 years of strain in her own marriage and through years of extensive research and development on trauma, relationships and self-care, Danielle created a signature "CARE" framework. She is a sought after speaker, and her thought leadership has been presented to audiences of over 2K.  Happily married now for 14 years and the mother 2, Danielle has dedicated her life to helping partners reconnect and healing together. But most of all, her passion lies in helping partners prioritize their wellness and finding community as they work toward a healthier relationship.

To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 15:31.

Causes for Applause

• Victoria - new cat food for Olivia! 
• Shadoe - learning more about guesser and asker culture
• Danielle - wonderful results from her medical tests

Regrets

• Victoria - harming her mother/daughter relationship
• Danielle - keeping everything private when she was struggling 

Topics Discussed during Feedback session

• Capacity for change
• Distance can make us closer
• Shared experience and individual experience 
• Rational thoughts and physiological responses 
• Balance of equality and equity in parent-child relationships
• Finding support when you and your partner are struggling
• Supporting your friends without asking for the gory details
• Alienating our partners as a way to 'protect' them and why this doesn't work
• The viral blue/black or gold/white dress
• Husband support groups
• The six emotional needs
• Forgiveness is for you

Plugs and Links

• Danielle on Facebook
• Danielle on Instagram

• Article about Guesser vs. Asker Culture

• Episode about Mother-Daughter Relationships
• Episode about Our Coping Mechanisms

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Usually, our mini-episodes are hosted solo by Victoria.
For the first time, Shadoe joins in on this one!

On this episode, we discuss the six emotional needs. These emotional needs are: certainty, variety, growth, significance, love, and, contribution. 

Find out more about each emotional need on this mini episode of Let's Relieve Regret!

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On this episode we welcome guest Kathy Baldwin.

Kathy is renowned for her groundbreaking work in stress mastery and body and mind alignment.  She is the author of the influential book "Unlearn the Crap", its about personal success and empowerment. She specializes in uncovering and unlearning the crap that leads to stress, disease and burnout. She offers a unique approach that challenges conventional beliefs in the medical system. 

To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 17:57. 

Causes for Applause

• Shadoe - reuniting with friends that fill her cup! 
• Kathy - affirmation of alignment (from an amazing call!) 
• Victoria - dyed her hair purple again! 

Regrets

• Shadoe: believing the adage "bloom where you are planted" too literally. 
• Kathy: taking on the responsibility of a deathbed promise 

 Topics Covered in this episode

• aging is a privilege
• sunlight, sunsets and sunrises 
• orchids needing a specific environment to thrive
• law of relativity
• deathbed promises
• hyper-independence and isolating yourself 
• law of relativity
• birth order and the pressures of being the eldest daughter

Plugs and Links

• Kathy Baldwin, RiseUP coaching: https://unlearnthecrap.com/about 

• Caren Magill (ADHD coach Shadoe mentioned during check-in) 

• Let's Relieve Regret ANONYMOUS 

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Thank you for listening!

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On this episode we discussed: 

• signs of overwhelm
• the difference between creatine and creatinine
• small and slow solutions
• different kinds of allergies
• the fear of being perceived as difficult 
• conflict avoidance
• conflict resolution
• benefit of the doubt 
• therapy speak being broadly applied / becoming slang
• feeling better on the other side of conflict  

As always, we start with a check-in and cause for applause.

To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 24:46.

Cause for Applause

• Shadoe serendipitously stepped on a beautiful pin, made by Ontario Artisan David Beaucage Johnson.
• Victoria is enjoying the benefits of a creatine supplement. 

Regrets

• Shadoe regrets allowing the shame of being a picky eater forcing her to neglect her own needs in other areas of her life. 
• Victoria regrets letting anxiety "run the show", leading to avoidance. 

Wrap-up
New Breaths for Season 6! 

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On this episode we catch up about our summer highlights, discuss unexpected human connections and the magic of fall. 

Then, during the regrets segment, we have a deep conversation about how our habits can get in the way of our progress. 

To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 18:34


Cause for Applause

• Shadoe: had a phenomenal time at the P!NK Summer Carnival concert
• Victoria: met up with a podcast guest this summer IRL. 

Regrets

• Victoria: getting stuck in victimhood (for just a little too long). 
• Shadoe: being proud about drinking and the confusing comfort of the party-girl lifestyle. 

Then, during the feedback session, we discussed: 

• dial-a-bottle
• hangovers 
• bed rotting
• social rubrics
• performance of identity
• self-concept 
• being allowed to be loud 
• group dynamics and unwritten rules 
• alcohol on the ADHD brain
• loving ourselves first!

Wrap-up

• We have a new way for you to join the podcast! Let's Relieve Regret *anonymous* is now available!
• New Breaths for Season 6! 

Plugs and Links

• Let's Relieve Regret *anonymous*  https://forms.gle/fToMdRHjh5PRxgPs6 
• Louise Carr's Episode - You Can Change at Any Age

Support the show

Thank you for listening!

CHECK OUT THE 10-Minute Method to Letting Go Here!

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