Let's Talk Soon

Episode 40  Port-o-Potty Talk

Are there really people who, when running a race of several laps, slip in early to just hang out in the Port-o-Potty for a few laps so that they can then jump out and pop back into the race, notably increasing their standing among the winners?  This and many other ‘secrets’ about port-o-potties are brought to you in this podcast, friends.

Tricia opens today’s conversation with an article she received recently about “Port-o-Potty Tricks and Tips for Marathon Runners.”  Rob was quite excited to hear these valuable tips for those rare occasions when we all need to use a Port-o-Potty.  This list of ‘handy tips’ will be so valuable to all who hear this podcast. Here are just a few of the items of expert advice:

• If you’re the first to use the bathroom, you can get a stain from the blue fluid in the potty—and so you might note the apparent speed of the people you see who seem to have blue on the back of their clothes: they managed to be very first in the line.
• Be courteous to runners who are racing; allow runners with the earlier start time to use it first.
• If you brought supporters to your race to cheer you on, tell them to stay out of the toilet line! (At least until all the runners have taken off.)
• If you say you’re having a “colon issue,” people will let you go in front of them. A handy tip, right there.
• Put your phone away!  Don’t be that guy (or girl) who has to finish up a chat or manage to get the phone put away before taking your turn!
• Once you’re inside, it is YOUR responsibility to lock your door!

In a sudden turn before concluding this fascinating topic, Rob shares a slightly related post from Facebook about a house that has been teepee’d (a.k.a. “toilet papered”) and the homeowner posted the picture, then a detailed THANK YOU for the efforts of the teepee’ers—but requires that they improve the quality of their skills before visiting his house again! Rob closes with a cliffhanger question…designed to bring you back for the next episode without delay.

“The most basic leadership role you can have happens when you are the first driver waiting at the stop light.” – Tricia 

(“And the same is true for being the first in line at the port-o-potties.” – Rob)

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode:

Jamie Kern, who ”basically runs all important things that happen at Disney World!” Rob calls her “the go-to person that Disney calls for the details of managing big events.  Jamie happens to be the one who actually orders…the Port-o-Potty’s.  They count on her to do this, because…well, so many people would be so very unhappy if she didn’t.

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 39: Answering Your Questions about our Questions

A friend of Rob’s raised this question: “Can you talk about where you get your great questions? You are great question-askers.  How do you find ‘em, how do you collect ‘em?´

In this episode, Tricia and Rob offer their answers to that great question!

Rob talks of his own focus on listening and looking for great questions more than great answers. He hates small talk, so he goes to parties armed with questions that aren’t based on the weather or the surface kinds of topics that go nowhere.  Tricia finds that a tradition of having great conversations over the dinner table when she and Rob were growing up has lent itself to now finding much to talk about with each other as adults.

This podcast actually grew out of the number of times that Tricia and Rob were each asked in various settings, “So, what are you two thinking about, writing about, speaking up about?”

Rob talks about the tagline of his own podcast series, The Leading Creative Podcast: “to be interested, not interesting.” He shares the advice he received from a good friend and fellow actor: “Be fully engaged and fully interested in the scene that is happening around you on stage. When you are, the audience will be, too.” Rob discusses how taking this advice changed his experience as an actor and comedian in live theatre, and actually, in all areas of life. 

Likewise, Tricia shares how this one truth changed her writing career as she learned the deep value and skill of telling other people’s stories, not just her own.

Rob shares an excellent tip for those who are content creators (teachers, actors, leaders of organizations) about how to think carefully and creatively when listening to someone being interviewed.

“You don’t need to talk about everything you know!” – Rob and Tricia’s Grandma C.

“There are two kinds of people in the world: the people who say, ‘Here I am!’ and the people who say, ‘There you are!’” – Tricia, quoting her friends Dave and Angie.

“When you position yourself to be a question ‘answerer,’ there’s a pressure to fill the time and the space. When you position yourself to be a question ‘asker,’ you don’t have to fill the time and space! A lot of pressure is removed from you, and both you and they are still learning.” – Rob

“The reason that I write in library books is that I forget not to.” -- Tricia

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode:

The Edison Deck – 150+ prompts designed to start conversations

Table Topics – a box of questions Tricia uses with her family to have great dinner table conversations (an ongoing challenge for mothers of boys). Excellent for parenting at all life stages.

3,000 Questions about Me, 3,000 Questions about You, 3,000 Questions Either/Or.  A book series designed to raise conversations in various settings. Especially good for getting to know new friends or to chat with old friends at deeper levels than small talk.

One Question, by Ken Coleman

Lead to Win, a podcast series by Michael Hyatt

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  Specializing in the fields of technology and cloud design as well as the broader areas of business and management, Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 38: Dating Daughters

“Hey Mom, I just wanted to let you know: I am dating a girl!  And you don’t have to worry about it because I already went ahead and talked to her dad about it.”  Despite her son thinking that this statement would take care of any questions his mom might have, the opposite was true: Tricia had SO many questions! She opens this episode by sharing the direct advice and cautions that this young girl’s dad delivered to his daughter’s first “suitor.”  The father had a list of four expectations (also known as “rules!”) ready to pass along to this 14-year-old boy who was interested in ‘dating’ his daughter.  Tricia shares those four ‘guard rails’ as a discussion starter for this episode. (This middle school relationship lasted all of about fourteen days, proof that those rules were followed—or it would never have made it that far!)

In this episode, Tricia and Rob talk about the “ups and downs” of those first dating relationships and the deep value of dads who help sons (their own, and the ones who want to date their daughters) learn how to treat this young potential girlfriend with respect and honor.

Tricia shares the ‘liberal’ approach that she and her husband Peter have chosen to take with their young sons in watching movies that can be found on TV in their home, and why. They choose to treat carefully chosen ‘mature audience’ movies and series together as a family so that they can use the plot and action of the movie as points for real-life discussion with their sons.

Sources mentioned or quotable quotes from this episode:

“Wouldn’t it be great if the wisdom we got for learning to date when we were young was followed through in our lives as adults?” – Rob

“When [sex] becomes the only thing you want and the only thing you do, suddenly before you know it, you have this great physical relationship without the emotional scaffolding to hold it up.” – Tricia

“Dissecting humor is like dissecting a frog: you can do it, but both of them tend to die in the process!” – Rob

“Gentlemen, be gentlemen.” – Rob, as quoted by Tricia

“Let’s just be respectful.”

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  Specializing in the fields of technology and cloud design as well as the broader areas of business and management, Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 37: Tricia Had a Birthday!

In this episode, Rob is eager to learn about how Tricia spent her “socially distanced birthday,” which seems to dissolve before long into a lot of laughter in this episode!

Peter was excited to present Tricia with his gift to her for her birthday: a new bike! (And not a tandem bike, thankfully, as they have now learned that it’s best if everyone just rides his or her own bike.)  Peter’s more than a little concerned about Tricia’s short legs, as she seems to get off the bike by “aborting” the ride!

Tricia was prepared to answer what has become known as Rob’s Best Birthday Question: “What is something that you know this year that you didn’t know last year on your birthday?” She offers several responses, along with this conclusion: she is very happy to be 41. Rob offered her some wisdom from his book A Hundred Years that offers a wise thought for every year of your life.  After a quick review of the thoughts for people in their 40’s…well, they both decided they really don’t like the book.

Tricia tries to explain the calendar in her mind that seems to be football shaped. Rob requested that she draw a diagram of this mental image, as a visual seems necessary to help explain…why it isn’t a circle, like his year.

Surprise!  Tricia and Rob’s dad called Tricia via FaceTime right in the middle of this episode! He stepped right into the conversation, but was also happy to step right out of it. (And he’ll probably try to avoid letting that happen again!)

As they return to the topic at hand, Tricia and Rob discuss the potential benefits of having a word for the year of your age, similar to Mike Ashcraft’s recommendation in his book (see below) of choosing one word as the theme for your calendar year. Tricia also shares her theory on what each decade of life seems to be about—at least, as far into the decades that she has come at this point!

“The more we learn, the more we learn that we do not know.” – Rob

“Turning 40 is just a giant permission slip. I gave myself permission to say, ‘Hey, I’m 40, and I’m doing that now.’ Or ‘Hey, I’m 40, and I’m not doing that anymore!”

Tricia: “Peter, what is this part of my knee called, this part right here that hurts?”

Peter: “Oh yeah…I think that’s called ‘You’re Turning 41 Tomorrow…’” 

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode:

My One Word, by Mike Ashcraft

The Five Minute, No Rehearsal, No Sheet Music on Facebook Live with My Trumpet, by Rob Lott  (You might need to decide to be his Facebook friend in order to enjoy these unannounced concert events.)

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 36: Peter’s on This One!

Today’s special guest on the podcast was “none other” than Tricia’s husband, Peter Heyer! Peter is quick to open the episode by stating that “the majority of what you have heard about me…may be true!”  Peter is honest and open in his story of the peaks and valleys he has lived in his life, and offers great counsel to other men through this episode, regardless of how high or how low they might find themselves in their current level of success or fulfillment.

Peter encourages listeners to read Tricia’s book Just You Wait, in which she received Peter’s permission to talk transparently about the battles fought along the way in his life, some lost and some won.  In this episode he talks about his battle with alcoholism and how Alcoholics Anonymous showed him that “it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.” Peter is always ready to encourage those who want to bring about change and new direction in their lives. 

(And that encouragement may help those who are considering a tandem bike experience like he and Tricia had recently.  Peter’s summary of that day: “Once we approached the hill, I don’t care how many gears there are, you’re still pushing the Titanic up a hill!”)

Peter recently purchased a turntable, and is now educating Tuck and Ty about “vinyl” (a word the boys couldn’t figure out how to pronounce) as well as enjoying a whole world of romantic music to enjoy with Tricia. Peter and Rob share a recommendation for the nostalgia of hearing music on old-style classic vinyl!

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode:

Man in the Mirror, by Patrick Morley. Peter highly recommends this book for any man who wants to simply be a better man.

Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge.  Peter recommends this book to men and also to wives who want to learn and understand more about their husbands.

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 35: Picky Eaters and the Upside of Adulting

Tricia opens this conversation with a question related to her two sons, ages 13 and almost 15.  Her son Tyler is a picky eater, and she seeks Rob’s counsel based on his decades of life as a picky eater: “Have you ever thought that maybe if you just tried a certain food, maybe you would actually discover that you liked it?”  Rob has offered much good counsel to his nephew along the way, and explains that actually they both come from a long line of picky eaters.  They “get each other.” Rob shares a couple of lessons his parents intentionally taught him about noticing on what others are or are not eating, and offers wisdom for how to be kind to choosy eaters!

Tricia considers being in charge of what goes on your plate to be one of the “up” sides to being an adult. This launched a new discussion:

What are some of the things you enjoy having the freedom to do simply because you are an adult?

Why don’t more companies offer “napping stations” like Google does?

What if companies created a “results only” work environment, in which you are responsible not for your work hours but for what you accomplish on the job? 

This episode also calls for celebrating the day as an adult when you never, ever can be forced against your will to “climb a rope” or try to hit a volleyball again.

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode:

Steven Pressfield, author

Daniel Pink, author of Drive

Todd Zimmerman: “Nothing is funny before noon!”

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to be sponsored for by, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 34: Go Places and Make Lists

“What is the farthest you have traveled from home?” Rob asks this question to frame a topic for this episode. He tells of working at Tokyo DisneySea for a year, and the friend who advised him that this experience would teach him what some people never get to learn: that the world is actually smaller than we think, and we are all more alike than we may have realized. He shares what he learned and how it changed him in very positive ways. “The best thing we can do to raise our tolerance level of people who don’t think like us, speak like us, look like us, act like us—is to travel to where they are at home, and we are now the outsiders.  Just doing that opens up our minds and our eyes to how small the world is.”

Rob tells of joining his wife Kate on a Voctave* tour of Paris and London a couple of years ago, and how the experience of just being outside of the US changed him in tremendous ways. Tricia offers very practical suggestions on how to experience new things, meet new people and learn new ideas without needing to leave the U.S. or even our own towns. If you have heard of the Turquoise Picnic Table movement or have driven by a house that has a turquoise picnic table in the front yard, this episode will fill you in on the purpose behind this new idea spreading across the country!

Rob shares a fascinating, mind-opening question for creative thinking: If you had $10,000 that you must spend on a trip to somewhere you haven’t been, what would you do? Where would you plan to go?  This mental creative thinking experiment can bring about fascinating ideas that you’d never have thought of otherwise. They also share the various ways that they capture the creative ideas that arrive at unexpected times and places.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Hatmaker, Jen  Fierce, Free and Full of Fire

Heyer Expectations, a search firm for all your recruiting needs! Peter Heyer, CEO

Voctave –check them out on YouTube to learn more and hear their amazing music!

Episode 33: Tricia and Rob Pitch their Moth Stories

If you have never heard of The Moth podcast, this episode will serve as the introduction you’ll be glad you received!  The Moth is simply people telling great stories—with no notes!  That’s the only requirement for stepping onto the Moth stage: you must have a great story to tell, and be prepared to tell it without notes. A very broad theme is provided, and each person simply tells his/her story to the audience!

Rob’s question for Tricia to open this episode: What is your Moth story?

And so, in this delightful episode, Tricia tells the story of her second honeymoon with her first husband Robb, who accepted the challenge to do a strip tease dance for his wife’s enjoyment—wildly outside of the quiet conservative demeanor he normally presented! 

Rob accepts the challenge to tell his own Moth story: the experience of his very first day in his new role as a Cast Member at Walt Disney World in Orlando, and how his self-guided tour of all four parks was so fascinating and fun for him that…well, he almost never got home that night!

Sources mentioned or quoted on this episode

www.themoth.org – Promoting the Art and Craft of Storytelling through Live Events 

Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company.  They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs!  If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!

Episode 32  Tricia’s Tips on Platform Building

On this episode, Rob asks Tricia to serve as his consultant for a talk he needs to give that very night (as they are recording).  CFCArts, a performing arts organization in Central Florida, asked Rob to teach a workshop on the topic of how to start a podcast.  Rob said yes—and then decided he would need his sister’s input on this topic! He and Tricia agreed that they aren’t “all about numbers” for their podcast, but on the other hand, numbers represent people, and they are, indeed, all about people.  Their podcast has had over 10,000 downloads to this point, and are thankful for the listeners that made this achievement happen so quickly.

Rob asked Tricia to share what she has learned in building a platform of listeners, and together they discuss the following tips (with strong follow-up details):

• Find someone really fun to do it with—someone you love and trust.  Sharing the process makes it enjoyable.
• Be patient with yourself in the learning process, and commit to an attainable number of episodes you will do.  Then finish your first season and call it done!
• Showing up to your work and thinking hard is a useful process for any kind of creative work.
• Building your platform is not designed for your own fame.  Your purpose must be deeper than that: about helping others, whether there are 10 people or 10,000.  You carry a responsibility to help them.
• Write or record something every week.  Commit to something; accomplish something for your audience.
• Be faithful to the audience you have. 
• Build a relationship with your audience. Make it a dialogue. “When you toss the ball to them and they catch iand toss it back, catch it!”
• Post regularly.  Don’t disappear. Decide on a realistic time frame for your posting, and then commit to that.  Show UP.
• Pay attention to what gets traffic.  Your readers or listeners will show you what they like by the numbers of readers or listeners you have on each episode. “Love what loves you back!”
• Have a very small editing committee, just a couple of people whose opinions you really trust.
• Keep the long view in sight.  Don’t worry if you don’t get a thousand readers your first month; if you add even a few more listeners every week, before long you’ll have loyal readers or listeners.
• Don’t need anything from your audience.  Don’t ask them to buy things, share things or do things. Just give to them.
• Don’t ask them to listen to what only your therapist should hear. Their job is not to validate you. “Only give away in stories what is healed and whole.”
• Be so good that they can’t ignore you!

“Writing is breathing for me. I read to inhale; I write to exhale.” – Tricia

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Todd Henry, who writes of having “a body of work,” not just one thing you do as an artist. 

Seth Godin – no actual quote, but an agreement to quote him no more than once per episode! Seth writes his blog every day, not for his readers to read, but for him to genuinely think.