Life Check Yourself

Do you sometimes think, Maybe I’m too picky...

Do your friends say, “I just don’t get it...”

“You’re amazing...

“You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’ve got it all together and you have a great life...

“WTF?!”

If this is you, don’t sweat it. It’s truly the most common theme among smart, successful, single women.

That’s because most women think... if everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am, then it has to be the guy’s fault!

First of all... seriously?!

The truth is, you wouldn’t be here, if there wasn’t something wrong.

Are you one of those women who just want to get down to business on a date?

To figure out if the guy is worthy of you so you can start falling in love?

Are you looking for a strong man who wants a strong woman but can’t understand why you scare so many guys off?

If so, you will identify with today’s caller, Irene. Irene is a super smart, super successful woman from a tough Italian family. Irene is looking for a relationship with her equal, she wants her soul mate and a best friend. But as you’ll hear in the call, Irene is afraid she’ll be chronically single because she’s not feminine enough.

Irene wants a relationship with a foundation of facts and truth. She doesn’t want someone who will just disappear like her father, her brother and her grandfather.

Becoming Comfortable in Your Feminine [6:17]

Women want to be authentic but are afraid to bring out our feminine aspects in front of powerful guys. Growing up Irene was shown that to be feminine means women should speak and act properly. Women should be girly and are no more than arm candy. She has worked hard in her life to prove she is more than that.

But being feminine is not always girly, girl. Femininity is an open energy that is soft around the edges. Irene may be showing up in her masculine energy is because her high-performance operating system is results based.

Boxing Gloves [14:05]

Irene recognized her father wasn’t there for her when she needed comfort as a little girl. She was hurt emotionally and she feels a need to protect herself. Irene is emotionally wearing boxing gloves in preparation of needed to protect herself. They may not be raised in a defensive stance but they are there if she needs them.

A quality guy wants someone who can lean into her feminine and sometimes be his opposite.

Creating Emotional Safety  [17:20]

Irene feels if she puts her boxing gloves down it will leave her unprotected, open to risk and emotions. Irene has had her story for so long it’s hard for her to get past. She understands she needs to build up her emotional resiliency but she fears the pain of being left alone.

It is Irene’s emotional child who shows up on dates. She needs to accept whatever happens as ok and practice showing up on dates as an emotional adult.  When she is in a non-triggering environment she needs to practice feeling pain instead of being defensive about it.

Irene’s Key Lessons [30:47]

• Caring for and healing the emotional child inside of her.
• Practice being more vulnerable with men.
• She doesn’t need to have her protective side up all the time.

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That which doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger…

Take a negative experience and turn it into a positive…

Take your lemons and make lemonade…

Learning from your mistakes is how you will succeed...

We’ve all heard these cliches before…

And like all cliches, there is some wisdom there.

But what about breakups… are they failures we can learn from?

I mean, they kinda suck, right?

But what if you could emerge from a breakup better, happier and stronger than you were before?

Interesting thought...

Breakups are hard on your heart.

They can be a crushing experience. There can be arguing, name calling and worse. And if kids are involved, it can be really difficult to make sure they aren’t adversely affected.

My guest, Katherine Woodward Thomas was going through her own divorce when she came up with a very modern way to break up. Her book, Conscious Uncoupling, has been nominated for a Books for a Better Life award and the process was made famous when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin adopted it. She describes the process as a paradigm shift from what is often thought of as an antagonist experience to an experience with generosity or good will.

It’s great to believe in a lifetime of happiness but reality shows that most of us will probably have more than one significant relationship in our lives. Meeting that one special person is an outdated concept.  

Breakups Are Crossroads  [8:57]

During a breakup, we get rejection sensitive, our hearts get defensive and we can even bring hostility into our next relationship. We may punish ourselves by self-loathing or lingering in anger for a long period of time. There is a lot of bad stuff that can happen if we don’t navigate a breakup properly. What is the difference between a broken heart and a broken leg? We would never think that time would heal a broken leg so we do we think it will heal a broken heart? Our goal should be to make our hearts stronger after a breakup!

Why We Go from Soul Mate to Soul Hate [11:39]

Humans are born to bond and form communities, so breakups are against nature. Nature will do anything to keep us together including releasing a chemical in the brain that creates a deep longing for the person who rejected us. It’s designed to inspire us to run after the person. The chemicals in the brain of a person going through a breakup are similar to a person who is grieving from a death. Nature would prefer a negative bond rather than no bond, it is an evolutionary leftover.

Why Consciously Uncouple?  [15:23]

The step by step process helps to keep us in charge of our emotions. The goal behind Conscious Uncoupling is the desire to cause a minimal amount of suffering for ourselves, for each other and to our children. It sets up structures where people can win moving forward.

If there are children involved our exes can be in our lives for the long haul. It makes this process a necessity not a luxury way to break up.

The Steps of Conscious Uncoupling [18:51]

We all know that really big emotions come up after a breakup. So, what is to be done? How do we deal with all the feelings we are feeling? Katherine says, before taking action, rational or irrational, follow these steps:

1. Find Emotional Freedom
2. Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
3. Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart.
4. Become a Love Alchemist.
5. Create Your Happy Even After Life.

Katherine’s program includes an exercise to clear the air and remove the toxic emotional residue. She has trained coaches who can assist you and your partner during this difficult time.

The Conscious Uncoupling Summit [42:38]

This first time ever LIVE event includes speakers and sessions on how to move through grief in a powerful way, how to consciously uncouple, how to midwife your best life and more on January 27 & January 28, 2017. You can experience the entire virtual summit from the comfort of home.

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Conscious Uncoupling

Happily Even After

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In today’s coaching session with Dorothy she shares a problem, many of you have been dealing with. She doesn’t want to repeat the same shit from her last relationship.

She really wants to have children. Her Ex made her think she was crazy for wanting kids, which is totally uncalled for. So now, she’s dating some great guys and wants to move forward with the kid talk but she’s afraid that if she does the guys are going to bolt.

Dorothy is smart and successful. She loves her career and she really wants to get married and have kids. Wanting kids is a big part of who she is.

Dorothy’s Picker Was Broken [3:21]

Dorothy’s Ex didn’t like it when she talked about children but it felt natural for her. When she read my MANimal types she realized she had been picking the wrong guys.

Having kids is a deal breaker for Dorothy and yet she has been on 10 dates with a guy she likes and hasn’t even brought up the subject of marriage or children. She should have told him her deal breakers by date #3.

How to determine your non-negotiables:

● Think of qualities in relationships you admire.

● Consider your core values.

● Think of the values you want in a partner.

Dorothy has about 16 wishes for a potential mate but her top 5 deal breakers are the right guy wants a family, is supportive, is active, is a saver and is flexible.

Your deal breakers are 5 fights you are never going to have in your relationship!

Collecting Information About Who You Are Dating [23:55]

Women should know the person they are dating by date #3. If Dorothy collects the data out of curiosity it will remove the fear she has placed around it. She believes if she shares what she truly wants she will be shut down.

After some coaching, Dorothy understands future dates don’t deserve to have the weight of her previous relationships around their necks. And, she knows she should have brought the subject of children up sooner.

Being vulnerable can be scary but it creates an opportunity for emotional intimacy.

The Quality Boyfriend Litmus Test  [30:28]

It’s important to get clear on your needs up front because Mr. Quality Casual will string you along forever! Don’t wait to ask the serious questions. One guy does not represent all guys. They don’t all respond in the same way.

Money is a hard topic to discuss but it is really, really important!

Homework and Takeaways from this Coaching Session

1. Make a list of how someone could demonstrate they have qualities that match your non-negotiables.

2. By date #3 you should know if a guy shares your top 5 values.

3. Be the person you want to attract.

4. Don’t let past relationships cloud future relationships.

Make a Connection:

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Today’s conversation with Susan Bratton is about reaching true intimacy and epic love by creating your sexual soulmate. Susan is a TV personality, an award-winning speaker, and a serial entrepreneur. She is compassionate and fearless when teaching fundamental communication skills that make for crazy, good sex.

How Susan Became a Trusted, Hot Sex Advisor [4:03]

Susan has always been a horny girl who wanted to find really good sex. When she met her husband at age 30, she finally found what she was looking for. Then after 10 years of marriage, the sex started to dwindle, he had an affair, and they were on their way to a divorce. For the sake of their family, they decided to go and seek out sexual help. After sexually educating themselves, the couple became closer than they had ever been.

Close the orgasm gap!

Masculine and Feminine Roles are Changing [11:41]

Women need to recognize the biological impacts and behaviors deeply embedded in the masculine. Men physically need to be ready when it is time to impregnate a female. That is why hot guys get all the sex. Whereas, women are driven by two competing desires. We want to be impregnated by a healthy, good looking stud but also find someone to help us care for the children.

Create your sexual soulmate by:

● Giving your man little wins during sex.

● Consistently tell him he’s doing a good job in and out of the bedroom.

Women get bored to death if the sex is always the same. We need variety.

How to Create a Safe Place to Communicate Your Desires  [20:10]

When you trust yourself you allow trust into the bedroom. Women, you must love your body as much as he loves your body. Your man picked you because he thinks you are sexy.

If something is causing you pain or frustration, and it keeps you in your mind, and not in your body, you need to work that out before sex. If you feel tension, allow his hands to awaken your sexual grid so you can be in your body.

First date sex isn’t recommended because you haven’t fully connected yet.

The Best Hug in the World [26:33]

This hug activates the masculine/feminine dynamic and helps you to connect at a sexual soulmate level. You can do this with a first date, without this leading to sex. This is the time you can find a connection to yourself, your partner and the universe.

Setting Boundaries When You Are Dating  [32:06]

Every time you make love, you should tell your lover what is going on with you. Tell him exactly what you want, what you are willing to do in the time you have, and have the safe sex discussion. The guy will be happy that you gave him the manual.

It might sound tedious but it’s important to have these grown up conversations.

Seduction Techniques [40:26]

When a guy gives you a menu of what he can give you, it is akin to getting a big dopamine hit for a woman. Ask him to give you small offers. It will give you time for your desire to escalate. Plus, he gets a lot of small wins when you say yes to each choice.

● The average guy loves to see women in lingerie.

● Hold your man’s you know what early and often.

● Hold your boundaries.

Reignite Your Sexuality [47:01]

Women, you can become more sexual without compromising yourself. Dress in ways that make you feel sexy, masturbate frequently, and give yourself massages. Be sure to use natural organic oils, not chemical laden lubes. Turn on your own system.

If you want to be a sexual soulmate keep yourself in good shape by being your own lover.

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Personal Life Media

How to Be Instantly Hotter and Sexier Free Ebook

Are you one of those women…

You know, you’re a badass in every other part of your life but…

When it comes to attracting men, flirting and dating…

You feel like the red-headed step child and you lose your mojo? (Yes, women have mojo!)

Then this is definitely for you!

Do you feel helpless and frustrated because the men you

date disappear and it makes you doubt yourself… even though normally you would never give it a second thought?

Do you, for some unknown reason, lack the confidence to attract the men you really want... or they feel like they're out of your league?

Relax. You are definitely NOT the only one!

Many women have incredible jobs, are adventurous, take risks and are confident in most areas of their lives. So, with all that confidence and prowess why do they find it so hard to communicate with a guy on a date?

Today’s coaching session is with Julie. Julie is a smart, well-traveled woman who lives in Europe. She was previously married for 4 years to an alcoholic, who passed away two days after their divorce was final. Julie is stuck and during our call, realizes she is afraid of being vulnerable and she shuts down when she really likes someone. I coach Julie through changing her story and learning to lean into her authenticity.

Battling the Fear of Rejection  [5:30]

Julie has an aha moment when she realizes she never really fit in when she was younger. She didn’t have a boyfriend and she wasn’t invited to parties. She now fears rejection so she tries to protect herself by thinking too much. She considers each answer she gives on a date and finds it hard to come from an authentic place. When she likes a guy she gets nervous and sometimes clams up completely in an attempt to make him prove that he likes her.

Everything we take in and send out is filtered through our own personal perspectives.

Getting Out of the Phone Booth and Reinforcing Your Barstool [12:17]

A lot of smart women find validation and worthiness through their work.  Julie gets a lot of her validation through her adventures, travels and risks.  

Julie is like a three-legged bar stool. One well-supported leg of the stool is how she confidently lives her life. The second strong leg of the stool is Julie’s confidence in her work life. The third leg of Julie’s stool is wobbly and that is her fear of rejection.

Get Rejection Proof [25:41]

Rejection proof is not fearing rejection. Julie practicing little ways to be more vulnerable without worrying about what happens.

In order for Julie to get rejection proof in her dating life. She needs to:

• Change her language when she talks about her availability.

• Change her language when she talks about her previous relationship.

• Make sure she is not ‘spotlighting’ or oversharing.

• Be authentic Julie at home, work and on dates.

Just telling someone you are excited to hear from them is sharing a small vulnerability.

Creating a Safety Net [33:11]

Women’s brains are constantly looking for control and safety. On a date, Julie should stay present in the moment, take guys off the pedestal and collect data about her companion.  

When she feels like she might be screwing it all up Julie should ask herself “How true is that really?”

The story you make up about yourself impacts what and how you do things.

Julies Key Takeaways are:

• She is afraid to be vulnerable because she might screw things up.

• In the future, she will remember she is a strong confident woman who is open to possibilities.

• She is going to lean into her authenticity.

Make a Connection:

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You want and deserve a great man… right?

A real man that adores you and genuinely cares about you...

Not some commitment-phobic, quality casual guy that loses interest after you have sex and doesn’t answer your texts...

Are you sick of wasting your time on an unavailable man?

You invest a whole bunch of time and effort into him, then suddenly you discover he’s “not looking for commitment” or “too busy at work” or “still getting over someone else.”

Have you dated the guy who tries to make you see reason when you are feeling emotional?

Or, do you ever feel dismissed by your partner? In this episode, we learn how to create the relationship of our dreams by knowing our attachment style. This method is so cool because it gives you the power to take care of yourself!

Today’s guest expert is Iris Benrubi. She is a Mensan with Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. She has spent the last 16 years coaching and counseling women and men from all over the world on how to find love. She authored the #1 Amazon best-selling book, Lonely and Single to Loved and Adored.  I just love her because she has a no-nonsense approach and she is humorous and witty! Her work has been featured on Slice TV, Women’s Network TV and she is the host of the Awakened Relationship Summit.

The Attachment Model  [2:45]

Most people’s Attachment Style is learned from the type of relationship they had with their parents. It shows up in adult relationships. People end up mimicking what they learned from their family.

What are the Attachment Styles?

1. The Secure Attachment Style

a. Mainly children who grew up with consistent, emotionally available parents.

b. These people find a mate and work on relationships.

c. 15% of people in the general population.

2. The Anxious Attachment Style

a. Children with inconsistent parents.

b. These people are constantly assessing the relationship.

c. These people become cling-ons.

d. They keep trying and trying to make a relationship work.

3. The Avoidant Attachment Style

a. Children with consistently emotionally unavailable parents.

b. These people often pull back.

c. These people make up a large percentage of the dating pool.

4. The Disorganized Attachment Style

a. Children who had a parent with whom they could never succeed or measure up.

b. These people constantly push and pull.

Focus on how you manage anxiety in a relationship.

Is My Relationship Just An Unhealthy Attachment?  [16:50]

People have a need to belong. They want to attach to someone who can see them, hear them and understand them but sometimes they attach to unhealthy people.

We are ultimately trying to be connected with our primary love person.

Look at your attachment style, if you get too needy or clingy, your partner can’t deal with you, because you are too big of a burden.

The more you understand you are valuable, lovable, and you know you want the relationship to work out, the easier it is for you to deal with the anxiety that happens in new relationships. YOUR job is to manage your anxiety.

How Do I Manage My Anxiety? [24:29]

By identifying your attachment style a person can manage their own emotions. It is also important to articulate your needs, so your partner knows how to help. The key is to be responsible for yourself. Your partner is not responsible for your distress. If they love you enough, they may shift and do something different to help you manage your anxiety.

Understanding Your Level of Attachment  [25:33]

Find someone who is really important to you and see how you react when they don’t text you back. How do you feel? How do you handle your anxiety?

People don’t shift dramatically from one attachment style to another.  As you evolve, unhealthy and insecure attachment diminishes and secure attachment increases.

How Do I Use This Information to Make My Dates Better? [27:46]

On the first few dates, gauge the other person’s attachment style. This will tell you how they will respond if there is ever tension in the relationship. Be transparent and simply say, “I do best with daily communication,” then you can see if they can step in and give you what you need.

The biggest cause of tension in a relationship is when your partner is not willing to step in when you are feeling uncomfortable or unhappy.

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Let Love In

I get this question all the time...

Let’s say you’ve been seeing this great guy for a minute... you really like each other and things have been progressing,

but lately things have slowed down or even stopped moving forward...

How long should you wait for him to make a commitment??

If you are wondering the same thing ...

You are definitely not alone!

That’s why it’s the subject of this week’s Dating Den podcast with my awesome co-host Christian Anderson!

The thing is, your man may have different ideas about the progression of your relationship...

How quickly (or not) things should be moving...

So, what does a good progression look like from a man’s point of view [1:10]?

Actually, slow from the beginning is healthy for both of you!

Big jumps in the timeline are usually red flags [1:35]

Over the first few months you might be moving toward having at least one date a week…

Eventually spending time with each others friends..

Maybe even spending the holiday’s together!

But what does it mean when the progression stops [2:30]?

Is there a right to have the commitment conversation?

To decide if you want to stay in or get out...

What is the end of the honeymoon phase [3:22]?

Find out all these answers and more on today’s Dating Den Podcast.

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Ahh the magical ‘First Date’....

Even hearing the words can fill your body with a sense of HOPE...

Your veins work overtime to send a rush of dopamine to your brain....

You literally can’t wait!

You spend a long time getting ready, choosing the right outfit...

You get all your grooming done and maybe even break out something special... a specific piece of jewelry or a new perfume...

You’re excited but nervous...

Could this be it?

Are you going to start dating this great guy and become the envy of your friends?

Will this be the last ‘first date’ you ever go on?

It’s okay – we all do it!

You remind yourself to have an open mind... to not let the mistakes and missteps of the past weigh you down...

And yet... there they are.

Every time you felt judged, criticized, or even rejected...

The last time you got hurt...

You tell yourself this time is going to be different...

This time you are going to leave your baggage behind and have an open mind...

This time you are going to find LOVE…

My guest today, Sam, is a Human Rights lawyer.  She dates a lot but can’t seem to find anyone she is interested in.

If a man is interested in her she runs away or isn’t attracted to him.  And when she is interested, she has a tendency to sabotage her first dates.

In this episode we dive into what Sam needs to do to get the man and relationship her heart desires--a deeply committed relationship with a soulmate who has a passion for good causes and wants to change the world.

Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men [2:15]

Sam’s last serious relationship ended with her feeling like she gave more than received. She admits she struggles with communicating her needs and getting her needs met.

Even though Sam’s father supported her career goals and encouraged her to be the best person possible he was still emotionally unavailable. When Sam goes on a date her inner child is still searching for the love she never received from her father.

Sam needs to break free from her unhealthy patterns.

There is no such thing as perfect parenting.  

You Are Worthy of Receiving Love & You Are Enough!  [11:11]

Staying in the ‘Giver’ role is an unconscious game Sam plays with herself because it’s easy. Deep down she is afraid to receive love because she believes she isn’t worthy of it.

The safety of the giving role is that you never have to be vulnerable.  

Sam has an imagined fear of being judged, criticized and getting hurt. Rejection feels very personal and makes her feel like she is not enough. If she did put herself out there she would feel like she failed.

She has made herself a vulnerability trap. -She is collecting evidence that is working against her.

Practice Receiving Love [17:50]

Sam says she gets an out of control feeling that she is not safe. It feels like ice in her chest. She pushes away and gets defensive. She dismisses men’s affection and she gets critical of them.  

1. 1. When this happens she is having a reaction to a childhood experience.

1. a. Sam should practice a self-nurturing exercise of holding  her own hand.
2. b. Embody her highest adult self.
3. c. Take a deep breath.
4. d. Say something over and over until she moves past it.

When you are in self-perpetuating thoughts they are strong. They have been building up strength since your childhood. If you activate the amygdala part of your brain through breathing it can be like hitting the brakes on your car.

You Are an Adult, So Act Like One   [27:00]

Sam’s limiting beliefs and her need to be right is getting her the opposite of what she really wants.

Her unmet childhood needs will always supersede her adult wants. It’s human nature to follow the rules.

Parent your emotional child by being an adult.

Sam’s homework is to re-assure her inner child that she will keep her safe. And, to not let the child in her get in the way of her having a deeply committed relationship.

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So you're dating a guy...

And things seem to be going fine.

Actually, it’s kind of great.

You meet, you talk, you enjoy each other’s company. The attraction is building inside you.  

You're starting to like him.

But something else is going on that’s making you a little uncomfortable...

While he is showing interest, he’s also acting distant... and you want to know what the heck it means, right?

This situation is all too common and can be oh-so confusing! It’s usually not a good sign [1:12]

In this episode of The Dating Den Podcast, Marni and co-host Christian Anderson offer some important tips on how to stay strong and true to yourself while not blowing any chance there might actually be with this guy!

Here’s the thing... when a guy acts like this, it’s totally natural for you to take it personally, but you can’t!

The truth is, it’s not about you!

At 1:36, Marni reveals her rule to help you feel empowered and stay in control in this situation...

But how do you know if he’s really ready... or if he’s trying to figure it out?

At [2:18] Marni and Christian show you how to have a conversation about what you’re both looking for, without scaring him off!

So if you ever wondered why guys will show interest and act distant at the same time... and you want to know what to do if they start pulling away, don’t miss this episode!

Make a Connection:

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There’s a great new guy in your life and you think he can become part of your family....

He’s met your kids and it went well... or well enough...

You have given it time, and you think now it’s time to start to blend your two worlds...

In your happy place, you allow yourself to think... Wouldn’t it be great IF the two most important parts of your life could come together...

What happens when (and I mean when) your kids resist... how should you handle it?

Is it ever okay to bargain with your child... like, just do this one thing for me and you can, get that really short skirt you want... or play video games at the dinner table? (the answer will surprise you)

Should you, the parent, ever have to compromise with your child... or is it my way or the highway?

What if you don’t have your own kids but... that great guy you met has kids...?

How do you make sure your relationship survives the ‘blending’... and how can you be a great partner in that situation?  

Get all of these questions answered on today’s podcast, as I explore dating and blending families during the holidays with the super smart and amazing Susan Stiffelman.  Susan is a marriage and family therapist, a credentialed speaker, and a licensed psychotherapist. She is the Huffington Post’s Parent Coach and has devoted 30 years to working with families to create greater harmony and deeper connections between parents and their children.

Be the Captain of the Ship  [2:51]

Susan says the most important thing for a single parent to do is to set boundaries in their relationship so the child does not become a partner or a companion.

Single parenting can take the form of a Captain, Lawyer or Dictator.

The Captain - The steady, sturdy person in charge. The child feels heard, understood and comforted especially when there is upheaval in their life.

The Lawyer - The negotiator who allows the child to believe there is no one in charge.

The Dictator - The authoritarian who deals in fear and intimidation.

So when your child says “I don’t know why you have to go on that date” or “I don’t like that guy you’ve been dating, He’s such a loser”,  know that they are in feeling mode. They are masking what they are feeling in words that may have nothing to do with what they truly feel.

When a child is upset don’t engage them. Frustrated children become aggressive or they adapt. Help the child to feel their sadness by listening to them.

Is it OK to Bargain or Compromise? [21:55]

When parents are longing for companionship and starting to date it can prompt compromises in parenting. When responding to a child with a compromise or an uncomfortable fix you are undermining the development of resilience. It is basically telling the child you don’t have faith in their capacity to cope with this.

You can’t be afraid of your children. Kids need you to be solid and sturdy.

What if Your Ex Spends an Insane Amount of Money on Your Kid?[28:01]

The stories we tell ourselves is what derails most single parents. Kids are looking for a simple way to be with mom and dad. We know what nurtures kids and feeds them at the soul level are small demonstrations of affection, not money and gifts. A real connective moment with a child may be what they remember above all else.

Wealthy kids aren’t any happier than kids whose parents earn a baseline revenue.

How to Be a Great Partner to a Parent During the Holidays  [32:25]

Realize the holidays are not an easy time for kids. It’s just a matter of adjusting your expectations. Kids should come first.

Don’t ask a man to choose between you and his children and don’t make them feel guilty. It announces you as inflexible and not so good partner for the long term. But, also don’t be a doormat or let it be ok if he breaks every date!

Tips for Blended Families [38:14]  

• Go slowly when establishing relationships with stepchildren.

• Don’t force yourself on your stepkids and don’t need them to like you.

• Stepparents should view themselves as a caring uncle or aunt instead of another parent.

• Biological parents should always do the disciplining.

• Let the child know you like to be around them.

• Don’t force yourself on your stepkids and don’t need them to like you.

• Understand the nasty comments they make are not personal.

• Cut the kids some slack.

Children do best when parents are living a balanced and full life!  

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Susan Stiffelman

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