Life Check Yourself

Ladies you are going to get so much out of today’s coaching session because Jane experiences a deep shift during our conversation.

Jane is a smart, successful woman with a big heart who hasn't been able to bust out of her unhealthy relationship patterns. We are going to help her figure out what is keeping her stuck.

Jane has had a lifetime of unhealthy, even toxic relationships. She is trying to find a space within herself where she can change her energy to attract a healthy relationship.

 You Have Self-Esteem, But is it Conditional?  [03:01]

Jane has been working on building her self-esteem. She knows she is deserving of love but she still hasn't shifted because she doesn’t feel worthy.

 Jane fears that her long-term patterns will keep attracting the same man. Her father was emotionally unavailable and abusive. Her mom wasn't available to her because she was always focused on her father. Jane took on the role of the good girl in the family. She felt like a ghost. She couldn't say no. She still creates this in her adult relationships.

Redefining Love [11:31]

Jane wants to be authentically herself in a relationship. But, she's attracting guys she thinks will leave her or be emotionally unavailable like her father. Jane realizes she has trouble letting her guard down.

If she Jane trusted herself:

● she would be discerning.

● she would recognize the red flags. 

● she would have boundaries.

The missing piece is Jane needs to let go of the fear and redefine how she would feel in a loving relationship. To move past her sad story, she needs to act like she has nothing to lose and that she is the victor.

 The only way to release the victim energy is to start doing something different, to start showing up as a woman who is open and who trusts herself.

Jane’s Homework [24:45]

I ask Jane to create a Superhero Alter-Ego that aligns with who Jane wants to be in a relationship. For two to three minutes a day, Jane needs to install this new identity and while squeezing her fists repeat a mantra based on what she wants to manifest in her life.

A solid mantra is:

I am loveable.

I am enough.

I am smart.

I am sexy.

I have boundaries.

Great men want to date me. 

It is ok to feel safe because you are safe. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

#DatingDen on Twitter 

So many ladies ask me about flirting!  Does flirting have to be sexual? How do I flirt if I am an introvert? And the popular, how exactly does one flirt? 

I decided to bring in an expert to answer all of your questions.  

Patti Contenta is a professional dancer, choreographer and the Founder of Sensuality Secrets. Her e-book, Desirable and Deserving and her video series Sexy in Seconds help women to find more playful techniques to flirting, build self-esteem and to exude a self-confidence quality men are magnetized to. 

How to Flirt Without Putting Out a Sexual Vibe  [3:18]

So many women shut down because they don't want to send a sexual vibe when flirting. Internal self-confidence struggles can make a woman rigid and fearful.  Patty has developed a flirting formula which starts with being a charismatic person first. Her ‘How to Create Rapport Through Charisma & How to Use Body Language to Enhance the Experience and Make it More Romantic can transform the way you flirt.  

 4 Virtues to Becoming Charismatic [7:20]

Working with a woman’s natural style is important. Charisma is leaving someone with a positive impression of you and leaving the other person with a positive impression about themselves. 

The four virtues that someone else should feel in your presence are: 

A - Appreciation

C - Connection

E - Elevation 

S - Self-Expression 

Focus on the human connection, display your individuality, and be a good story teller. 

Transition Tools for Women [32:08]

Patty says the key to connecting with another human being is to become the kind of person who owns their experiences in life. And, when you want to take it to the next level. Start with charisma and turn up the dial with non-verbal cues to make you feel more sensual. It will flow naturally. 

To get to Wa-Wa-Woo try self-touch. A man will notice you are more in your body as your feminine sensual nature slowly shows through. 

Be comfortable with who you are and the body you have.

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Fearless Flirting with Patty Contenta

Sensuality Secrets

This call is a great example of when you are coming at dating from a place of self-worth and self-love it puts you in the power position.

And, it’s proof that Bumble and Tinder really work!

My client, Julie, met a great guy on Bumble. After a few weeks of dating, he asked her if she wanted to be exclusive. She has been putting her coaching into practice and has discovered that she communicates well with this new guy and he meets her boundaries. Sounds perfect right? But, Julie has some questions about meeting his children and challenges with dealing with her unresolved issues.

Julie Needs Support Now That Her New Relationship is Exclusive  [3:01]

Julie’s new guy is a single dad. During the first weeks of their relationship, his kids were at camp. Now that things are settling down and back to a normal schedule, plus they have decided to become exclusive, Julie wants to know how she can show up in a healthy way in this new relationship. 

Julie says she needs an emotional and physical connection from her new relationship.

Navigating the Family Aspect [8:57]

Julie’s new beau has been divorced for 9-months. He has made it clear he wants to be in a long-term relationship and possibly marry again.  He has also made it clear he doesn't want to introduce Julie to his 14-year-old daughter for 6-months. 

Dating in your 40’s means new relationships may come with kids. 

Unresolved Issues Come Through as Fear [15:06]

Julie is creating a challenge for herself. She believes she is always the last person men date before they meet “the one”. She may be injecting this limited belief into this relationship by collecting evidence that her limiting belief is right. 

By making these assumptions, Julie is putting herself into victim and is creating a barrier to fully-expressing herself. 

Trusting the Process [25:28]

By giving meaning to things based on her past she is staying in this story she has created. She will put this guy in the same place as the other guys which isn't fair to him. She isn’t enjoying the current moments. 

Julie needs to trust the process by: 

1. Accepting the facts, not the stories. 

2. Being aware of herself.

3. Making conscious choices.

4.Living in the moment, not in the past. 

The foundational process is to love yourself, love your life and find a guy to love.

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Dating Den Episode #35 with Laura Doyle

The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle

On today’s podcast, we find out how to be free from your doubts and emotions by stripping away the story and accepting what is truly under your control. 

Luke Iorio is a Conscious Growth Strategist, a Blogger, A Podcaster and President of The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). I love him not only because he has been my coach for 9-years but because he is a wide-angled observer and an enthusiastic participant in the game of life who seeks to ask and answer "What's truly possible?" 

Why Are We Fixated on Fixing Ourselves?  [3:59]

Many women have convinced themselves that they are not whole, that they are somehow less than who they truly are. Plus, our psychology leads us towards the idea that we are not enough. It makes it hard to get through the daily stressors of life and then add dating on top of that and it can seem overwhelming. 

Fear naturally occurs in the dating and relationship process. The very beginning is riddled with judgment. We are worried if we will be rejected or if we are enough. It creates stress.  

Luke Iorio says when we interpret messages we receive from other people or from feedback from dating sites we get caught up in the stories we make up in our own heads. 

But, it’s your perception of what happened that is worrisome, what meaning you have associated with the message that is causing the stress and fear. 

We need to get out of our heads a bit and get more present to who we are with and what is going on in the moment. 

The Stripping the Story Tool [13:20]

Understanding and accepting that you have made up a story can help you deal with what is real, instead of what is made up about a situation. Look at the truth of the message without your added story. 

When you stay in your own story you risk closing off other possibilities of what the message could mean.  

A Formula to Trigger Joy [19:02]

Consider the quality of the experience and the emotions you want to feel when dating. When you get clear about what you would love your experience to include you can figure out how to incorporate this into the present moment. 

When have you felt joy or love? How did it feel? 

When you bring it up you can feel the connection again. It will surface more and more and you can decide how to bring it into the present moment. Ask yourself what questions you could ask you normally wouldn't or what stories you could share?

Creating a Shift in Your Conscious Choice [26:44]

All of our experiences shape the way we see the world. To be able to truly make a conscious choice is really difficult. We need to become aware how we see the world. assessment tools, mindfulness, and meditation can help us unwind the biases that affect us from seeing what is going on and affect our decision-making process. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Luke Iorio 

The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching 

Live Lead Play Podcasts

Do you feel uncomfortable dating more than one guy at a time? Well, my guest today thinks you should be dating 3 guys at once and she tells you why! 

My guest on today’s podcast is Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner. Dr. Diana has been featured on Oprah, she is a reoccurring guest on the Today show and she starred in a PBS special on LOVE which was based on her best-selling book Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana has just released a new book called Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps. 

She has helped thousands of successful women date and meet terrific partners, to deepen their existing relationships and to create a lasting love.

The Most Important Thing a Successful Woman Can Do to Find a Lasting Relationship  [3:01]

Women are often blinded by the myth that true love is just supposed to happen to us. Dr. Diana says it's a bunch of BS. The best thing successful women can do to find a lasting relationship is to get a mentor. Women get mentoring for work but not for love and love is more difficult than work. 

Our wounded inner child is so hungry that we ignore the things that don’t connect with the guys we date. If we focus on creating our Diamond Self-Identity we create our own possibilities for who we are in the world. 

Why Does Brain Chemistry Make Women Make Bad Choices? [9:30]

Oxytocin is a bonding chemical which is released in the body during sex, when touching another person and when you have a child. It is a chemical designed to physically tie you to another person. To avoid this “drug” being released when you are with the wrong guy, Dr. Diana recommends dating three guys at the same time but not having sex with any of them. 

The Discovery & Learning Process of Dating [17:58]

Dating three guys at the same time is fun and full of discovery. Successful women will learn about their own wants and needs as well as about which guys rise to the top. Dr. Diana says your dance card doesn’t always have to have the same three guys on it. If one guy drops off you can always start dating someone new. Plus, there is nothing better for your self-esteem! 

4 Ways to Heal Heartbreak [22:55]

1. Tell your story to a loving friend and avoid isolation. 

2. Meditation or another spiritual practice can be soothing. 

3. Get active to stimulate your endorphins.

4. Keep your calendar full. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Love in 90 Days

Books by Dr. Diana Kirschner 

You know you want to redo your bedroom. Why not make it into a sensual love space?

My guest on today’s podcast is Interior Decorator and a Love Coach, Katie Tiki. Katie is the author of Love By Design: 10 Things You Can Do in Your Home Now to Manifest Your Man and host of the Great Men Do Exist: Create a Space for Love show. 

Katie is a fierce believer in love attraction And can explain how you can manifest love through interior design? 

What You Can Do to Make A Space to Attract Love [4:25]

Katie says, “everything thing around you is a mirror for what is inside.” If you know what type of man you are trying to bring into your life put imagery of the experiences you would like to have around your house.

Energetically make space for the man you want. Women should keep their instrument of sensual pleasure close at hand. Candles, honey dust, whatever makes you feel sexy make sure it is in your immediate environment.  

The way we treat ourselves is how we attract people that treat us the way. If wearing silk and lace makes you feel sexy then go for it. And, get rid of your clutter! Clutter in your space is not good and will stress you out. It's taking up space in your mind. The more space you have in your environment the more space you have to attract what you want. 

Make an amazing bachelorette pad.   

The Ex-Husband is Gone So Be Done With Him [11:24]

Just go ahead and remove anything that reminds you of a love gone awry. Freshen up your space, change your environment and set yourself up to win. 

You can manifest the most amazing man ever. Your perspective makes all the difference. Ladies, reclaim your do-over. 

Do Not Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable [16:56]

Consider how vulnerability can show up in your environment.   It's a great way to make a real, deep connection. It is a myth that it takes a long time to find love. It doesn’t have to. 

You notice your environment subconsciously all the time because you live in it. Make it conducive to attracting the love of your life! 

Release anything that no longer serves you. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Love By Design: 10 Things You Can Do in Your Home Now to Manifest Your Man by Katie Titi 

#decorativedildos

Has time, or the lack of it, become your enemy? 

Do you have trouble making your love life a priority because of your work, your kids, and other responsibilities?

Do you feel overwhelmed all the time? 

My guest on today’s podcast is Time Management Coach, Dr. Sarah Reiff-Hekking. Sarah is the Founder of True Focus Coaching, a Speaker, Coach and a Clinical Psychologist. She has 20 years of experience in helping people figure out strategies to help them stop hiding in overwhelm.

Sarah believes smart women need to find a time management system that works specifically for them.  Solutions are found by paying attention to the present moment and getting rid of all the extra shit that isn't at the core of your life. 

Which Type Are You? [6:49]

Procrastination and overwhelm become big issue's because they make you cloudy and keep you from taking the next step in your life. A lack of self-trust is often at the core of these issues. 

Many of us are so crazy busy we don't leave enough space in our day to do the most important things. (Like find a life partner!)  Some of us don't know we are avoiding taking action towards what we want because we are too frozen. Some of us show up and do whatever happens to come our way or some of us do anything but what we had planned.  These are emotional pieces of time management. 

Which one resonates with you? What triggers you to procrastinate? 

Chronically single women often don't trust themselves when it comes to dating.  

We Are All Wired Differently [17:56]

Have you been telling the same story about your differences and limitations around being late, pulling all-nighters or always being on time? Well, it’s time to change your story. Everyone is different and should focus on time management skills that work specifically for them.  

5 Steps to Bust Through Procrastination [23:00]

Sarah says it is possible for us to get better at getting what we want. We just need to set up support and accountability in your environment. 

1. Find the beast. 

2. Calm your inner fear discussion. 

3. Engineer your containment system to be positively focused. 

4. Get support.

5. Keep restarting until you are where you need to be. 

Set up your environment to support a positive mood. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

True Focus Quiz

True Focus Coaching 

There are many ladies who can identify with Kat’s problem in her on again, off again relationship.  

If you have ever been strung along by a guy you love it is really important you listen to this episode. 

Kat’s On Again Off Again Guy [1:36]

Kat is in an on/off relationship. She doesn't know who he sees when they are "off". She says she wants to move on but she is in love with the guy. She just wants to be in a fun relationship with someone who cares about her. 

Her guy picks a fight when he wants to go away and then sends a text a few days later. He says he’s done but never allows Kat to move on.  

He knows she’ll keep coming back no matter what crap he pulls.  

Why Kat Gives Up Her Power and Dignity [7:17]

Kat is in a romantic rut. She is giving up all her power and dignity and allowing the guy to push her in one direction and then pull her into another. But, why is she allowing herself to be treated this way? 

She feels sad, broken and that she has wasted years on him. 

Getting Over A Romantic Rut

1. Write it out. 

a. What do you think?

b. What do you feel?

c. What do you do?

2. Use your Choice Points to get what you want.

a. Don’t react, respond.

Kat doesn’t realize how much power she has! 

Kat’s Vision for a Romantic Future [22:23]

It’s extremely important for Kat to get out of this romantic rut and find a partner who wants to be in a loving and committed relationship. She wants someone she can count on to have her back. 

Everytime Kat does something not in alignment with this vision she is actively moving away from what she wants. 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Ladies, would you talk to men when their face is in their phone or their headphones are in their ears? No? So why would your perfect man approach you when your phone is out? Put it away and put on a smile!

Camille Virginia is here today to show us how to date offline! Camille is the expert behind Master Offline Dating. She specializes in working with singles who are burned out with online dating. Camille giving ladies the skills and competence to find their match in the real world.

Taking the Natural Approach [2:55]

If you see a cute guy but don't feel comfortable making the first move, Camille recommends closing the physical gap and getting closer to him to see if he says something to you. If that doesn't work use the Friendly or Flirting technique. Say something casual about something in your proximity. He won't know if you are being friendly or flirting.

5 Key Ways to Be Approachable [6:21]

1. Take your headphones out and put your screen away - You are not looking for a robot!
2. Set an intention to meet the guy you want to meet and why you want to meet him.
3. Smiling - It's better than resting bitch face.
4. Make eye contact - Pretend you're looking for someone.
5. Dress for confidence and a conversation - It only takes one unique accent piece.

But I’m an Introvert [18:49]

You just have to move out of your comfort zone. You have to wean yourself off staying home and not talking to anybody. Get out and go to a party by yourself. It’s not going to be easy but you have to get out there if you are going to meet someone.

What If He Ends Up Being a Toad [20:31]

If you catch a guy's attention and he makes an approach but then you are totally not into him make something up. Honesty is not the best policy in this case.

Do not hurt his feelings just because he had the confidence to come up and talk to you.

Where Are the Quality Guys [28:52]

You can pass 100’s of single men but be too busy to notice. Pay attention to who is behind you in line.

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates - FREE

Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Master Offline Dating

How to Attract the Right Guy in Under 30 Seconds Without Saying a Word