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Tune in for an emotionally honest episode where Desiree, Michelle, and Doree unpack what self-esteem really is - and what it isn’t. They explore how childhood, family expectations, body image, bullying, and societal standards shape the way we see ourselves, often tying our worth to productivity, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.​

They dive into the difference between genuine confidence and arrogance, how self-talk quietly erodes (or supports) self-esteem, and why low self-esteem can make life feel exhausting. Doree brings in manifestation and explains why you can’t call in what you don’t believe you deserve, while Desiree shares powerful stories that influenced her understanding of self-esteem & worthiness from her journey.​

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• A practical definition of self-esteem and how it shows up in real life​
• How childhood, caregivers, and early experiences quietly program your self-worth​
• Why self-esteem issues affect both women and men, just in different ways​
• The difference between confidence and arrogance + how to spot each in yourself and others​
• How your body posture and somatic habits can shift how confident you feel
• Why low self-esteem can block manifestation and keep you repeating the same patterns​
• How to “borrow belief” from others when your own self-belief is at rock bottom​
• Why learning to say “no” is a powerful self-esteem move, not selfishness​

Episode Resources 

• “What is Self-Esteem?” by Kelly Machan, M.A. and Karin S. Ryan, M.A (article).​
• Book: "Your Body Is Your Brain” by Amanda Blake (on leveraging somatic intelligence).​
• Amy Cuddy’s TEDx Talk on power posing / “Superman pose” for confidence.​

If this episode on self-esteem, confidence, and manifestation resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs a reminder that they matter. Subscribe to Life Coaches Unfiltered so you don’t miss upcoming conversations that connect self-esteem with boundaries, relationships, and creating a life that actually feels like yours.

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

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Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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If overthinking burned calories, half of us would already be in our goal jeans. Instead, it’s burning us out. It’s impacting our sleep, time, and sanity. In this episode of Life Coaches Unfiltered, Desiree, Michelle, and Doree get honest about what happens when your brain won’t shut off, you’re "catastrophizing" every scenario, and you’re replaying past conversations on a loop.​

They unpack what overthinking actually is, how it shows up as rumination about the past and worry about the future, and why your nervous system believes worst-case scenarios are keeping you safe. 

Along the way, they share real-life stories - from ice-storm prep with contingency plans all the way to Z, to lying awake worrying about insurance claims, to imagining you’ve ruined a relationship just because someone hasn’t texted back.

You’ll also hear how perfectionism, people-pleasing, grief, and busyness all feed overthinking, and where the line is between healthy reflection and mental torture. Most importantly, the coaches offer simple, practical tools you can use right away: how to notice when you’re looping, how to get thoughts out of your head and onto paper, and how to gently question your own stories with “Is this true?” and “Where is the evidence?”.

In this episode, we cover:

• What overthinking is and how it differs from problem-solving
• Rumination about the past vs. anxiety about the future
• Real-life examples of catastrophizing (storms, insurance, step-parenting, texts)
• How grief and constant busyness can delay emotions until you finally slow down
• The perfectionism trap and analysis paralysis at work and at home
• When overthinking becomes a problem (sleep, looping, stalled decisions, relationships)
• List-making, brain dumps, and time-limited “thinking windows”
• Becoming your own inner coach with evidence checks and kinder self-talk
• How to approach conversations when you’re afraid you hurt someone
  
  
  

You’ll walk away with:

• Language to spot when you’ve crossed from planning into overthinking
• Practical tools to interrupt 3 AM spirals and fall asleep more easily
• A way to question your stories without gaslighting yourself

Permission to take one small imperfect action instead of waiting for things to feel perfect

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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When life finally calms down, does your brain immediately ask, “Okay, but what’s about to go wrong?”

 In this episode of Life Coaches Unfiltered, Desiree and Michelle dive into hypervigilance and what it feels like.

Living on constant high alert, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and how it shows up for stressed, burned-out women in midlife.​

​From obsessing over germs after COVID to mentally rehearsing every worst‑case scenario in your business, relationships, and health, they talk about how hypervigilance is often a learned survival response from grief, illness, trauma, caregiving, and years of chronic stress, not a personal flaw.

You’ll hear real stories about how COVID impacted Desiree and her fear of germs, backseat driving with a fear of car accidents, and always choosing the restaurant seat that faces the door.

The coaches unpack the difference between healthy intuition and hypervigilance, why your nervous system may still act as if the emergency is happening long after the crisis is over, and how mirror neurons mean your dysregulated state can spread. The good news? Calm is also contagious. 

They also share practical tools to gently work with hypervigilance instead of shaming yourself for it.

​In this episode, we talk about:

• What hypervigilance actually is (and why it’s more than “just anxiety”)
• How hypervigilance develops after grief, illness, caregiving, chaotic childhoods, or repeated life disruptions
• Signs you’re living on high alert: can’t relax when it’s quiet, always scanning for danger, exhausted but unable to shut your brain off
• The difference between intuition (calm, grounded, clear) and hypervigilance (urgent, loud, repetitive)
• How hypervigilance strains sleep, health, and relationships—and why partners can feel criticized or micromanaged
• Small, nervous‑system‑friendly practices to start feeling safer in your own body

If you're a midlife woman, who's tired of being "on all the time", sleeping with one eye open (figuratively & literally), this episode is for you. 

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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New year, new goals… same burnout? In this episode of Life Coaches Unfiltered, the coaches get real about goal setting, New Year’s resolutions, and why big, lofty goals often backfire - especially for women already exhausted and in survival mode.​

​New Year’s goal-setting sounds great on paper. Next thing you know,  you’re two weeks in, already “behind,” and ready to say “forget it” to every resolution you made. In this honest conversation, Desiree, Michelle, and Doree unpack the good, the bad, and the ugly of goal setting, from vision boards and flip charts to bonfire resolutions that go up in smoke (literally).

​Michelle shares why she loves goals as bite-sized direction (not giant life contracts), how realistic goals create clarity and momentum, and why most people overwhelm themselves with huge, vague resolutions. 

Doree talks about her mixed feelings as a hypnotherapist during “resolution season,” including her story of throwing a pack of cigarettes into a New Year’s bonfire… then trying to bum a smoke an hour later. 

Desiree names the pressure and shame that come with goals when you’re in midlife, grieving, caregiving, or just plain tired, and asks the question no one likes to admit: How do you set a goal for a life you haven’t even imagined yet?

​You’ll hear the difference between resolutions and actual plans, why “all-or-nothing” goals are so damaging, and how to create goals that fit the season you’re in instead of punishing you for not being farther along. The coaches also explore process goals vs. outcome goals, and how tiny, consistent actions beat grand declarations every time.

Resources: Send a free email to your future self ​

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why New Year’s resolutions so often fail. SPOILER: It’s not because you’re lazy or “bad at follow-through”
• How to set realistic, bite-sized goals that don’t trigger shame, perfectionism, or all-or-nothing thinking
• How midlife, grief, caregiving, and burnout change the way your brain and body relate to goals

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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Do you feel like the world is on fire? Danger seems to be lurking around every corner. It's exhausting, and so many people are on edge. The life coaches talk openly about how they see stress and anxiety showing up in their daily lives. 

They share tips & techniques for how they are staying grounded right now.

Key Topics

• Holiday Check-ins: Proof that our lives are as messy as yours
• Collective Stress: Everyone's baseline is now "barely functioning"
• Nervous System 101: When your body thinks you're being chased by a bear, but you're just reading Twitter
• Coping Strategies:
  • Breathwork (because "just calm down" needs better PR)
  • Social media boundaries (deleting the app at 11 PM, re-downloading at 11:15 PM)
  • Activities that don't involve arguing with strangers online
  • Gratitude journaling (yes, even for "my house didn't burn down today")
  • Touching grass (not just a meme)
• Self-Reflection: That awkward moment when you realize YOU'RE the drama
• Notable Quotes
  • "Only control what's in your hula hoop."
  • "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" (and probably hasn't had coffee yet)
  • "Peace is your ability to remain centered within chaos" (aka fake it till you make it)

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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 This episode tackles the narcissist field guide using Dr. Ramani's book "It's Not You."   (affiliate link)

Spoiler: there are seven flavors of nightmare, and you've probably dated at least three. 

The Narcissist Menu: 

1. Grandiose: Main character energy, zero self-awareness
2. Vulnerable/Covert: Professional victim, guilt-trip world champion 
3. Communal: Martyrs who never let you forget their "sacrifices" 
4. Somatic: Mirror-obsessed, gym is their personality 
5. Neglectful: Emotionally MIA, couldn't care if they tried 
6. Self-Righteous: Judge Judy without the paycheck 
7. Malignant: Actual danger. DELETE THEIR NUMBER. 

You Might Be Dealing With One If: 

•  Every conversation feels like emotional CrossFit 
• "It's always your fault" is the household motto 
• Your gut instinct filed for divorce 

Survival Mode: 

• Trust yourself, set boundaries, document everything 
• Therapy isn't optional—it's survival 
• Stop rescuing grown adults 

Golden Nugget: "Empaths and narcissists both run on unmet needs." – Dr. Ramani 

Next Episode: How to stay sane when the world's gone full circus. How to stay sane in an insane world. 

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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 We’ve all heard the term narcissist, but what does it really mean? 

In this candid conversation, three life coaches get real about the traits, tactics, and traps that define narcissistic behavior. From the confusion and manipulation to the denial and blame-shifting, Desiree, Doree, and Michelle break down how narcissism shows up in romantic relationships, family systems, and even friendships. 

You’ll also hear how each of them has personally encountered these patterns and what they learned about self-care, boundaries, and reclaiming their power. 💡 

Spoiler: Not everyone who acts selfishly is a narcissist — but knowing the difference could save your sanity. 

#lifecoachesunfiltered #NarcissisticAbuse #Gaslighting #SelfCare #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #lifecoachesunfiltered 

NOTE: We share resources that may be helpful on your journey, they are affiliate links that help us cover the costs of producing this podcast. You don’t pay more, but we receive a tiny commission AND you’re supporting our work. The products we advertise are those we believe in. 

"It's Not You" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula (on healing from narcissistic abuse)

“Shiny Happy People” documentary on Amazon: https://amzn.to/47rZx1s

Tia Leving’s book “A Well Trained Wife” https://amzn.to/47rZx1s

S1 Ep 7 "Boundaries & Safe People": https://lifecoachesunfiltered.buzzsprout.com/2448048/episodes/17024953-setting-boundaries-and-safe-people

👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more real talk and resources.

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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In this episode, the hosts dive deep into the topic of gaslighting—what it means, how it manifests in relationships, and the impact it has on self-perception and emotional health.

Spoiler alert: if you've ever felt like you're losing your mind while someone insists you're "too sensitive," this one's for you. Through personal stories, book recommendations, and the kind of candid conversation your therapist would approve of, they unpack the confusion around the term, its origins, and how to recognize and respond to gaslighting without questioning whether you're overreacting. (You're not.)

Key Topics in this episode:
~ Defining gaslighting and its origins (from the 1938 play and subsequent films—because yes, emotional manipulation is vintage)
~ Personal experiences with gaslighting in relationships, family, and friendships (aka the greatest hits of "Did that really just happen?")
~ The difference between healthy disagreement and gaslighting (hint: one involves respect, the other involves you Googling "Am I insane?" at 2 AM)
~ Signs you might be experiencing gaslighting (e.g., doubting your reality, over-explaining why you're upset about something obviously upsetting, seeking validation from your houseplants)
~ The connection between gaslighting and narcissistic abuse (they're like toxic best friends)
~ The importance of trusting your intuition and seeking support (Your gut is smarter than you think. Listen to it)
~ Strategies for responding to gaslighting and setting boundaries (because "I'm not doing this anymore" is a complete sentence)
~ The role of self-care and community in healing (turns out talking to people who don't make you feel bonkers is therapeutic...who knew?)

If you resonate with any of the stories or signs discussed, know that you're not alone. Trust your intuition, seek support, and remember: your reality is valid. Even if someone keeps insisting it isn't. Especially then, actually.

NOTE: We share resources that may be helpful on your journey, they are affiliate links that help us cover the costs of producing this podcast. You don’t pay more, but we receive a tiny commission AND you’re supporting our work. The products we advertise are those we believe in.

#gaslighting #narcissist #lifecoachesunfiltered #personaldevelopment #lifecoaching #narcissisticabuse

Book recommendation: "It's Not You: : Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula (on healing from narcissistic abuse) 

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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The hosts are still riding high from their fancy tea party (fascinators included, dignity optional), but reality quickly sets in as they tackle everyone's favorite mental health villain: anxiety spirals. 

You know, those delightful moments when your brain decides that forgetting to reply to a text obviously means you're a terrible person who will die alone surrounded by cats. (The cats part doesn't sound so bad, honestly.)

We dive deep into the science of why our brains love to catastrophize, explore the "window of tolerance" theory (spoiler: most of our windows are basically cracked open like a sketchy motel room), and share practical strategies that actually work, unlike that advice to "just think positive thoughts" your aunt keeps giving you.

Key Topics:

• Post-tea party analysis (because apparently we can't let go of those fascinators)
• Anxiety spirals: When your brain becomes a drama queen with a PhD in worst-case scenarios
• The art of catastrophizing (we're all experts, no training required)
• "Window of tolerance" theory—or as we like to call it, "Why we all live in emotional tornado alley"
• Self-care that goes beyond bubble baths (shocking, we know)
• Why doom-scrolling at 2 AM isn't actually a hobby
• Breathing techniques (yes, you've been doing it your whole life, but hear us out)
• Setting boundaries without becoming the neighborhood hermit
• Perfectionism: The overachiever's anxiety special
• Taking action when your anxiety brain insists hiding under blankets is the only logical choice

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

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 Sorry, not sorry! Wait, no—actually sorry for saying sorry. 

Or wait... In this episode, our hosts tackle the "apology epidemic" that's got more people saying "I'm sorry" than a Canadian tourist convention. 

They explore why humans (especially the fabulous female variety) have turned apologizing into an Olympic sport, and spoiler alert: it's not doing anyone any favors. 

Key Topics: 

- The origins of over-apologizing: because apparently someone decided "existing confidently" wasn't ladylike enough 

- The difference between "Oops, I genuinely messed up" apologies and "Sorry I breathe oxygen" apologies 

- How saying sorry 47 times a day turns you into a human doormat (results may vary, side effects include becoming invisible) 

- Breaking news: You're allowed to take up space! Revolutionary concept, we know - Why we apologize for having feelings (as if emotions were a personal failing rather than, you know, being human) 

- When you actually DO need to apologize (hint: it's fewer times than you think, but more meaningful than "sorry for existing") 

- Brilliant alternatives to "I'm sorry"—like "thank you for your patience" (mind = blown) Personal war stories about learning to stop apologizing for everything short of global warming 

- The epic showdown: genuine kindness vs. performative "niceness" 

- Delightful tangents about Trader Joe's (because life coaches shop too), TikTok rabbit holes, and waxing nostalgic about the days when news came on paper and music lived in plastic rectangles 

Amy Schumer - “I’m Sorry” skit (referenced in this episode): https://vimeo.com/253499468 

Subscribe so you won't miss our next episode, where we talk about how to break out of an Anxiety spiral. 

👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more real talk and resources. #stopapologizing #lifecoachesunfiltered #lifecoaching #podcast #apologyepidemic #takeupspace #standinyourpower 

Desiree, compassionate Grief Mentor & Coach. Helping midlife humans learn and grow from grief & loss.

Book a free Connection call with Desiree 

Support the show

***** Connect with the Coaches *****

Michelle Hibbert

Doree O’Neal

Desiree Doucet

Do you have any questions you'd like the coaches to answer? Awesome - we'd love to hear from you! You can submit questions via this form and we'll answer them in a future episode: https://forms.gle/QMPqRrvhvkzezPRn6

Intro & Outro background music provided by: Bliss by Luke Bergs | / bergscloud Creative Commons - Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/