We've all done it.

We wait until all the conditions are perfect before making a decision. We tell ourselves we'll know when the timing is right, when we have more money, more confidence or more certainty.

The problem is, that moment rarely comes.

In this episode, I explore why waiting for certainty can keep us stuck for years, why truth often feels uncomfortable, and why the biggest moments in our lives usually begin with a decision that feels anything but safe.

I also share some of my own experiences, from leaving a secure corporate career to moving to Los Angeles, discovering yoga and building a coaching business.

Maybe confidence isn't something we find before we act.

Maybe it's something we build because we acted.

Chapters

01:40 Why we wait for certainty
02:30 Leaving corporate and moving to LA
04:00 You don't need certainty, you need trust
05:10 A coaching client waiting to start her business
06:00 Why there is no "right" decision
08:10 Certainty vs truth
11:00 Where confidence actually comes from
12:50 The yoga story
15:10 Why staying stuck is still a decision
16:30 One question to leave you with

One of the biggest myths we buy into is that we need to have it all figured out before we take the next step.

I don't think that's how life works.

In this episode, I dive into what I mean by "making shit up." It's not about pretending or guessing. It's about having the courage to follow what feels true, even when you can't see the whole path ahead.

We explore the difference between the things we're naturally attracted towards and the fears that pull us backwards, why your intuition matters more than you think, and how some of the biggest moments in life come from taking a leap before you're ready.

If you've been sitting on an idea, waiting for the perfect time, this conversation might be the nudge you need.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome back
 01:15 What "making shit up" really means
 03:40 Why there's no step-by-step formula for life
 06:10 Following the little nudges
 08:00 Attraction vs retraction
 10:30 Why yoga, meditation and stillness matter
 14:15 My own leaps of faith
 17:00 Automatic writing and finding your next step
 20:45 Your challenge for the week
 21:30 Wrap up

Hope you like. Hit me with any questions or feedback. www.tommykende.com instagram.com/tommykende

Lotsa Love 

Tommy

Making shit up, intuition, trusting your gut, personal growth, self-discovery, courage, life purpose, mindset, self-awareness, The Untangling Method, Tommy Kende, Life Dilemmas and Dad Stuff, personal development, meditation, yoga, automatic writing

Most of us spend our lives trying to fix ourselves.

We think we're broken. That we need more confidence, more motivation, or another strategy to finally feel at peace.

What if you've simply become tangled up in stories, beliefs and expectations that were never really yours?

In this episode, I introduce The Untangling Method—the philosophy that's become the foundation of my coaching. We dive into why so many of us lose ourselves, how to start finding your way back, and why growth isn't about becoming someone new... it's about remembering who you've always been.

We'll explore:

•  Why observation is the first step to change. 
•  How childhood shapes the rules we live by. 
•  The hidden cost of abandoning your own truth. 
•  Finding your True North. 
•  Why growth and untangling always happen together. 

If you've been feeling stuck, disconnected or like you're living someone else's version of life, this episode is for you.

🌐 Website: https://tommykende.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tommykende

🎙️ Coaching: https://tommykende.com/work-with-me

If this episode resonated with you, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed, left a review, or shared it with someone who needs to hear it.

#SelfDevelopment #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #TheUntanglingMethod #TommyKende #LifeDilemmasAndDadStuff #Purpose #Authenticity #MentalWellbeing #Coaching

Do you ever wake up feeling anxious for absolutely no reason?

I had one of those mornings this week.

Instead of trying to push the feeling away, I started asking myself a different question...

What if anxiety isn't the enemy? What if it's actually trying to tell us something?

In this episode I talk about:

• Why I've stopped trying to fight anxiety and started listening to it.
• The questions I ask myself when anxiety shows up.
• A simple breathing exercise that helps me get back into my body.
• Automatic writing and why it's become one of my favourite ways to untangle what's really going on.

I don't believe anxiety is always something to get rid of.

Sometimes it's just trying to point us towards the thing we've been avoiding.

Enjoy.

Tommy

This week I share a lesson that smacked me right in the face during my yoga practice.

For nearly 20 years I've avoided one pose. Every time it came up I'd find a way around it because it felt awkward, uncomfortable and honestly... pretty shit about how much I couldn't do it.

Six months ago I made a deal with myself.

Just do one.

One wheel pose every class.

Nothing heroic. Just one.

Fast forward to today, and for the first time I actually enjoyed it. It got me thinking...

How many other things in life have I avoided simply because I wasn't good at them yet?

In this episode I chat about:

• Why avoidance quietly runs so much of our lives.
• The awkward stage that comes before getting good at anything.
• Podcasting, coaching, conflict and the things I've wanted to run away from.
• A simple exercise you can do today to work out what you're avoiding the most.

Maybe the thing you've been putting off isn't the problem.

Maybe you just haven't stayed with it long enough for your relationship with it to change.

Enjoy.

Would love to hear your feedback. 

www.instagram.com/tommykende

www.tommykende.com

This week I'm joined by my best mate Steve.

We've known each other for 42 years.

We sat down in Bali with no real plan, hit record, and ended up talking about life, friendship, getting older and some of the things we were completely wrong about.

We chat about:

• Why money doesn't solve as many problems as we thought it would
• Relationships and the myth of "finding the right person"
• The strange realisation that turning 50 doesn't mean you've got life figured out
• Why the simple things seem to matter more than ever
• Chasing happiness versus experiencing it
• What happens when all the big firsts in life are behind you
• Friendship, purpose and what really matters

One thing that kept coming up throughout the conversation was this:

No matter how old you get, there doesn't seem to be a magical moment where everything is sorted.

Most of us are still figuring it out.

Just with a few more wrinkles and a few more stories.

A relaxed conversation between two mates who've spent more than four decades watching each other stumble, learn, grow and occasionally get things right.

Enjoy.

Most dudes are carrying way more than they let on. Is it because they're trying to be tough or macho? I don't think that's the case. I believe it's because they often don't know how to say what they're actually feeling. Or who to say it to.

In this episode I dive into some of the things I hear from men all the time, both in my own life and in conversations with clients and mates.

Things like:

• Feeling like you're not enough
• Not knowing what the fuck you're doing
• Carrying pressure quietly
• Avoiding conflict
• Feeling unappreciated
• Struggling to ask for help
• The pressure of being a good dad, partner and provider

I also share some personal experiences around relationships, conflict, purpose and why I think so many men end up carrying things alone.

Men feel deeply, but often don't know where to put it.

If you're a bloke, I reckon you'll see yourself somewhere in this conversation.

And if you're a woman, it might help you understand a little more about what's going on behind the scenes for the men in your life.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Instagram - @tommykende

email - [email protected]

In this episode, Tommy dives into one of the biggest things that holds people back from going after what they really want:

The fear of what other people think.

Whether it's starting a business, posting on social media, launching a podcast, changing careers, parenting differently, or simply putting yourself out there, judgement is unavoidable.

Tommy shares his own experience of getting back into podcasting, coaching and creating content after becoming a dad, and the very real internal dialogue that comes with putting yourself back out there.

This episode explores:

• Why approval is a moving target
• The courage required to share your gifts with the world
• Social media, judgement and self-doubt
• Fatherhood and navigating other people's opinions
• Why you can never please everyone
• The difference between asking "What do people think of me?" and "Do I respect the way I'm showing up?"
• Turning fear into fuel for growth

If you've been sitting on an idea, holding back, or waiting for the perfect moment before putting yourself out there, this episode is for you.

Because at some point, you've got to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and start backing yourself.

In this episode, Tommy dives into the subtle ways we manipulate the world around us in order to feel safer, more accepted, more comfortable, or more in control.

From people pleasing and collusion, to trying to manage perception and avoid conflict, this episode explores the fine line between acting from truth… and acting from ego.

Tommy opens up vulnerably about his own relationship, the need for affection, and the realisation that even love and kindness can sometimes carry hidden expectations underneath them.

This conversation touches on:

• manipulation through discomfort avoidance
• people pleasing and emotional control
• ego disguised as goodness
• authenticity and why it feels risky
• collusion and managing perception
• staying in your own lane
• truth vs performance
• emotional regulation and self awareness
• why some people react negatively when you follow your purpose

A raw, honest and deeply human episode about what happens when we stop trying to control the outside world… and start paying attention to what’s actually driving us internally.

If you're interested in exploring coaching options with Tommy, you can hit him up on instagram at @tommykende, or send him an email at [email protected]

Emotional regulation might be one of the most important life skills we never get taught.

In this episode, I talk about:

• how quickly the stories in our head can spiral us emotionally
• why thoughts create emotional states that shape our experience of life
• catching yourself before you disappear down the rabbit hole
• learning how to observe emotions instead of becoming consumed by them
• the connection between pressure, emotional reactions and self-awareness
• why the external world shouldn’t completely dictate your internal state
• practical tools I use to regulate myself when life feels loud

This conversation is really about learning how to slow down, become more aware, and create space between your emotions and your reactions.

Because not every thought deserves your belief.

And if you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions… your emotions will regulate you.

If this episode resonates and you feel like you need support navigating life, relationships, pressure or uncertainty, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @tommykende.

Lots of love,

Tommy