Life, Dilemmas & Dad Stuff

In this episode, Tommy dives into one of the biggest things that holds people back from going after what they really want:

The fear of what other people think.

Whether it's starting a business, posting on social media, launching a podcast, changing careers, parenting differently, or simply putting yourself out there, judgement is unavoidable.

Tommy shares his own experience of getting back into podcasting, coaching and creating content after becoming a dad, and the very real internal dialogue that comes with putting yourself back out there.

This episode explores:

• Why approval is a moving target
• The courage required to share your gifts with the world
• Social media, judgement and self-doubt
• Fatherhood and navigating other people's opinions
• Why you can never please everyone
• The difference between asking "What do people think of me?" and "Do I respect the way I'm showing up?"
• Turning fear into fuel for growth

If you've been sitting on an idea, holding back, or waiting for the perfect moment before putting yourself out there, this episode is for you.

Because at some point, you've got to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and start backing yourself.

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In this episode, Tommy dives into the subtle ways we manipulate the world around us in order to feel safer, more accepted, more comfortable, or more in control.

From people pleasing and collusion, to trying to manage perception and avoid conflict, this episode explores the fine line between acting from truth… and acting from ego.

Tommy opens up vulnerably about his own relationship, the need for affection, and the realisation that even love and kindness can sometimes carry hidden expectations underneath them.

This conversation touches on:

• manipulation through discomfort avoidance
• people pleasing and emotional control
• ego disguised as goodness
• authenticity and why it feels risky
• collusion and managing perception
• staying in your own lane
• truth vs performance
• emotional regulation and self awareness
• why some people react negatively when you follow your purpose

A raw, honest and deeply human episode about what happens when we stop trying to control the outside world… and start paying attention to what’s actually driving us internally.

If you're interested in exploring coaching options with Tommy, you can hit him up on instagram at @tommykende, or send him an email at [email protected]

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Emotional regulation might be one of the most important life skills we never get taught.

In this episode, I talk about:

• how quickly the stories in our head can spiral us emotionally
• why thoughts create emotional states that shape our experience of life
• catching yourself before you disappear down the rabbit hole
• learning how to observe emotions instead of becoming consumed by them
• the connection between pressure, emotional reactions and self-awareness
• why the external world shouldn’t completely dictate your internal state
• practical tools I use to regulate myself when life feels loud

This conversation is really about learning how to slow down, become more aware, and create space between your emotions and your reactions.

Because not every thought deserves your belief.

And if you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions… your emotions will regulate you.

If this episode resonates and you feel like you need support navigating life, relationships, pressure or uncertainty, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @tommykende.

Lots of love,

Tommy

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Pressure changes people.

Financial pressure.
Relationship pressure.
Parenthood.
Trying to hold everything together while quietly feeling disconnected from yourself.

In this episode, I talk about:

• what happens when pressure keeps building under the surface
• the danger of ignoring the little signs your life keeps showing you
• victim mentality vs stepping into your power
• uncertainty and why growth rarely gives immediate feedback
• how pressure can change your moods, behaviour and relationships
• and why no one is coming to save you

I also share my own experience of reaching a point where something had to give… and the internal shift that came from finally lifting the rug and looking honestly at what was underneath.

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’ve been carrying pressure quietly for too long.

If any of this resonates and you want support navigating your own next steps, reach out to me on Instagram @tommykende or [email protected]

Lots of love.

Tommy

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Hey guys, 

Have definitely been quiet for a while.

Not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I felt like I didn’t have my shit together.

In this first episode back, I talk about:

•  what the last couple of years have really been like 
•  becoming a dad and how much it actually changes you 
•  losing direction, identity, and a sense of purpose 
•  the pressure that comes with trying to hold it all together 

Even though things feel uncertain right now, I’ve never felt more grounded in myself.

This isn’t a polished “I’ve figured it all out” conversation.

It’s real life — while I’m still in it.

If this resonates:

If you’re feeling stuck, off track, or trying to figure things out — you’re not alone.

I’ve opened up a few spots to work with people 1:1 again.

Feel free to reach out on Instagram: @tommykende or my website www.tommykende.com

What to expect from this podcast:

Real conversations about:

•  fatherhood 
•  relationships 
•  pressure 
•  identity 
•  and figuring life out as you go 

No fluff. No pretending. Just honest conversations.

“New episodes weekly.”

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Had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Dr Sarah Jane Perri—founder of "Spinal Energetics". She's just an all-round legend. We talked about the real side of building something massive, and what it’s like being a woman leading a powerful movement in a world that still doesn’t always get it.

All the highs, the heavy bits, the weird moments, and the stuff that usually stays behind closed doors gets some airtime, as well as success, burnout, relationships, self-intimacy, and the shadowy side of the spiritual scene.

It’s honest, open, and super grounded. You'll love this one!!!

You can catch her at https://www.instagram.com/drsarahjanechiro & https://www.instagram.com/spinalenergetics

You can also hit me up at www.instagram.com/tommykende

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In this raw-as-hell episode, I sit down with one of my soul sisters, Kat John, for a no-bullshit convo about life, friendship, relationships, parenting, and the shitstorms we’ve both waded through. We talk honestly—like, laugh-til-you-cry and then actually cry kind of honest—about our personal struggles, how they shape us, and how they sometimes fuck with our heads. It's earthy, it's messy, it's real, and if you've ever felt like you're the only one fumbling through life, this one's gonna hit home. No masks, no fluff—just two mates holding space, laughing at the chaos, and being real AF.

Feel free to share this episode with anyone that needs to hear it. 

As always, 

Lotsa Love

Tommy 

www.instagram.com/tommykende

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In this episode, Tommy shares his personal journey of becoming a parent, reflecting on the challenges and growth that come with it. He discusses the emotional transitions he has experienced, the impact of parenthood on his creativity, and the dynamics of his relationship with his partner. Tommy emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and choosing happiness amidst the challenges of parenting. He also shares his excitement for the future direction of the podcast, aiming for more conversational episodes with guests.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates
03:01 The Journey of Parenthood
05:57 Navigating Challenges and Growth
10:06 Creativity and Self-Discovery
14:49 Reflections on Relationships and Parenting
19:56 Future Directions for the Podcast

See you on the next one. 

T

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Hey gang, In this episode, I reflect on my experience as a new father and the changes it has brought to my life. I discuss the uncertainty I feel about the direction of  where I'm heading in terms of career but also a deep yearning, and desire to find a path that aligns with my truth. I emphasise the importance of listening to intuition and allowing opportunities to come naturally instead of the big chase. I encourage you to be patient and open to the magic that will guide you towards your true purpose.

Have a listen and see what you think.

Lotsa love
T

www.instagram.com/tommykende

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My partner in crime Nicola Lally comes on the poddy for round 2. The first time she was on, was not a fun one. It was 4 days after we had a still birth at 38 weeks. This time is a very different story. Her tenacity, and belief in our end result of starting a family together is next level. The amount of challenges and hurdles that we experienced and faced was a tough one. Either way, we now have a beautiful baby girl. She's now 5 weeks. 

In this episode we discuss all aspects of our journey. Egg freezing, miscarriage, the heart-ache of a still birth at 38 weeks, and now having our little addition to our family Winter-Rose. 

Thanks for tuning in, and if you think someone could benefit from hearing our journey, please send on. Because this is such a deep experience for us, we are both open to helping anyone that has any questions, please just let us know and we'll help how we can. 

Thanks and lotsa love
Tommy & Nic. 

www.instagram.com/tommykende

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