There's a kind of trauma that doesn't have a name yet. Birth trauma finally gets talked about. Postpartum depression finally gets talked about. But feeding trauma, what happens when your feeding journey ends in a way you never chose, still isn't validated. Nicola D'Souza is a breastfeeding counsellor and infant feeding practitioner on a mission to change that.
Nicola's own feeding trauma began in NICU. She shares the story of a nurse who put her premature daughter's feeding tube back in without her there, and fed her formula despite a freezer full of Nicola's own breast milk. "I felt something snap inside me." What followed was PTSD, panic attacks, and a physical anxiety response that lasted months.
But feeding trauma isn't only a breastfeeding story. Nicola's worked with mums who bottle fed by choice and still felt robbed of that experience, with mums of teenagers still carrying it from when their babies were tiny, and with women processing it thirty years later.
This one is personal for me too, and it's not the first time. I've had feeding trauma more than once with my own kids, but the hardest was having to stop breastfeeding London during chemo, something I still find hard to say out loud. We get into the donated milk, wanting her to relatch, and the moment Nicola told me something about what my body was still doing for me mid-chemo that I did not see coming.
If you've ever felt like your feeding story doesn't get to count as trauma, this one's for you.
You can find Nicola on Instagram @infantfeedingcoach.jersey, or through her website here,
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