Life With Herpes

Help Our Fellow Americans In Texas [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9DUWFUTXBjTDgtaw==[/video_player] Donate to the Red Cross https://www.redcross.org/donate/hurricane-harvey

Ask, Answer & Get The Facts About Herpes [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS81YnZYWlNMSEtZYw==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Podcast Welcome to episode 36 of Life With Herpes, thank you for spending time with me today.  I'm glad we are here together, and I'm extra glad to bring you another #AskAlexandra episode! If you are a regular listener you know these shows are my absolute favorites because you send me your questions, and I love hearing from you.   If you have any questions of your own send them to me on LifeWithHerpes.com. When you’re on the web site scroll down to the bottom where you'll see the #AskAlexandra section and click. Fill out the Google form with your question and tune in to hear me answer it! Speaking of answers, let’s find out the answer to Josh from Richmond, Virginia’s question. Josh wants to know why his genital herpes aren’t on his genitals, but are on other parts of his body. You’ll hear the answer on episode 36 of Life With Herpes!     More About Life With Herpes This is an awesome question Josh, thank you for asking. Most of us have the assumption that genital herpes only show up on our genitals, and oral herpes only appear on our mouths. Tweetable:  “The virus doesn’t have to be visible to transmit it or contract it.” -   Alexandra Harbushka   But what most people don't know is that they are interchangeable, meaning either HSV-1 or HSV-2 can be on other parts of our body. The virus simply likes moist, wet areas but if you give the virus any opportunity to go anywhere it will go there. If you have an open cut on your elbow and the virus comes in contact with that cut then you may contract herpes on your elbow. Any chance the virus has to spread and breed it will go for! The virus is not going to say no to a new location. This was one of the biggest ah-ha moments for me when I was learning about herpes: the virus isn't just on a man's penis or a woman's vaginal, it can be in that region. It can be on our inner thighs or other parts of the body. In fact,  I know a number of people who have told me they have genital herpes on their belly button, or their thighs or on their butt cheek.   It blew my mind when I understood condoms alone don't prevent the spread of herpes, although you should still use condoms. Just remember if you only use a condom you are not 100% protecting your partner.   Also remember you can't just go by what you see on another person’s body, the virus can be passed on even when there is no outbreak and no physical signs of herpes.   Again thank you for this question Josh! A lot of people need to know this so I'm glad you asked and I was able to answer on episode 36 of Life With Herpes.   Episode Resources  

• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST)
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Life With Herpes YouTube channel
• DoTerra’s essential oils

What provokes your outbreaks understanding your body [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS8zVE1oVl9FRlV4TQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Podcast     One of the questions I get asked the most is what triggers an outbreak? Do you know what triggers your herpes outbreaks? I know what two of mine are, and I share them on today’s show.   I also share my strategies for avoiding my triggers, and dealing with an outbreak when it does happen. Join me for that and more on episode 35 of Life With Herpes. More About Life With Herpes   When we talk about triggers, I’ll start by sharing what my top two are: sleep and changing time zones.   Ever since I was a child I've needed more sleep than the average person. I need 9 hours to be at my best. I'm very cautious about getting enough of it because I know how important it is for my well-being.   I can be okay if I have an off night where I get less than 9, I just have to be certain I get 10 or 11 hours the next night. But if I have multiple days of inadequate sleep I know that is absolutely a trigger for an outbreak. With a few nights of poor sleep, I start to feel my body shutting down, everything from my immune system to my brain.   Now you might be different because everyone's body is different. In fact, you might be someone who needs very little sleep. I’d call you a shark - sharks never sleep, and never stop moving!   If you are someone who doesn't get a lot of sleep then try getting more and see how you feel. My fiancee didn't always sleep a lot until we were together. Now he gets plenty of sleep and he feels the difference! You might be the same way so try going to bed earlier and see if you notice any changes. Even if you can't sleep just go to bed and rest. Try reading a book or relaxing in some way until you can sleep. Giving your body a chance to rest is key to maintaining your health.   I said I have two main triggers, we’ve already talked about the first trigger which is lack of sleep. The second trigger for me is changing time zones. Generally, anything that requires more than 5 hours of a travel will trigger a herpes outbreak. Usually, if I'm in the car it's not a big deal, it's not as stressful on my body. But if I'm on a plane for that long it is stressful and it will cause my body to have an outbreak.   Tweetable:  “Know your body and find out what your own triggers are.” - Alexandra Harbushka   I think some of this is because often before I travel I stay up late, get up early and generally run around like a chicken with my head cut off! I believe doing so stresses my body so much that when I add on time zone changes, my body suffers and I have an outbreak.   Now that we’ve talked about triggers, let’s talk about prevention.   The first thing I recommend is sleep. Start looking at things that prevent you from sleeping: being on your laptop or watching TV late into the night, or drinking alcohol. Believe it or not, alcohol prevents you from getting a good night's sleep. I know if I have 2 glasses of wine I won't sleep well that night.   Another recommendation I have for preventing an outbreak is exercise, make sure you get plenty of exercise. Definitely, don't exercise to the point that you exhaust yourself, but make sure you move your body and get your blood pumping.   My other recommendation is to take care of your body with extra vitamins and minerals, eat healthy foods and stay hydrated. Before I travel I double up on my vitamins and minerals. Then when I arrive at my destination, I let my body adjust before going back to my usual amount and before indulging in food or drink.   The point is to to find out what your own triggers are and know your body. Your triggers may be completely different than mine. Do you know what they are? Let me know in the private Slack group, after you listen to episode 35 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources

• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST)
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Ask, Answer and Get The Facts About Herpes [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9RQTdzVDFZS0U3aw==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Podcast Welcome to episode 34 of Life With Herpes, thanks for spending your time listening to the show! Today is another of my favorite favorites: the #askalexandra episodes. I love hearing from you and finding out where you are from and hearing what questions you have.   Want to send in your own questions? Send them to me on the LifeWithHerpes web site at the bottom of first page. You'll see the #AskAlexandra section, just click that link and fill out the Google form. Remember you can remain anonymous if you want.   Today’s question comes from Jeff in Portland. He sent in another good one: he wants to know if everyone has the same herpes symptoms? Check out the answer with me on episode 34 of Life With Herpes   More About Life With Herpes   Thank you Jeff for this terrific question about whether or not everyone has the same herpes symptoms. The quick answer is no. And that’s because we are all different people, and we have different symptoms.Think about it like this: if we get a cold we often have different symptoms from someone else with a cold. A herpes outbreak works much the same way. And that is compounded by the fact that a lot of people are asymptomatic, meaning they don't show symptoms but they carry the herpes virus. The virus lies dormant in their nervous system for however long, and they don't show symptoms during that time.   For example, I am asymptomatic for HSV-1. I haven't had an outbreak in 14 years, but I am symptomatic for genital herpes and get outbreaks. But I can spread both; anyone who has one or both strains of the virus can spread HSV-1 and HSV-2, whether or not they have any symptoms. Tweetable:  “A lot of people are asymptomatic, but they still carry the virus.” -  Alexandra Harbushka   Now what happens from the start of an outbreak to its completion is what is really different from person to person. The symptoms are similar in men and women but the way the virus attacks one person’s body will be different than how it attacks your body. Some of the signs that an outbreak is on its way are tingling, itching, swelling, and a hot feeling in that area. A precursor and/or a trigger to an outbreak might be extreme fatigue, I know that is true for me. There are other triggers for other people: it may be something in their diet for example. I have friends who cannot eat peanuts without having an outbreak.   So once the outbreak is triggered, the next step is a blister or a cluster of blisters. The virus turns into a blister and as that blister goes through its cycle it may open up, which can be very painful. If you touch the blister or if there is any type of liquid that comes out, be sure to wash your hands thoroughly and don't touch anyone else or any other body part until your hands are completely clean.   The next and final stage of a herpes blister and outbreak is a scab which forms over the blister. It can itch at this point as it heals.   Some people may not get blisters, they may notice the triggers and the symptoms of an outbreak and take an antiviral or do other forms of self-care in time to stop blisters from forming. And still other people may not even notice their triggers or symptoms and they go into full-on blister mode. As far as how long the outbreak will last that is different from person to person, too. If you take extra care of yourself during an outbreak you may be able to shorten it to a few days, or it may last for a few weeks.   This was an awesome question Jeff, thank you! And thanks to all of you for being a part of episode 34 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources

• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit (use the code podcast for 50% off)
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• Life With Herpes YouTube channel
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Ask, Answer and Get The Facts About Herpes   [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9TMGN3YU9qQ004QQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Podcast Welcome to episode 33 of Life With Herpes! I love all of the episodes of this show, but the #askalexandra ones are extra special to me because I get to hear directly from you!   Do you have any questions of your own? Send them to me on LifeWithHerpes.com. When you’re on the web site scroll down to the bottom where you'll see the #AskAlexandra section and click. Fill out the Google form with your question and tune in to hear me answer it! Today's question is from Emily in Memphis, TN. she wants to know if waxing makes a person more prone to herpes. This is such a good question, thanks, Emily! Are you ready to hear the answer? Then join me for episode 33 of Life With Herpes   More About Life With Herpes   Emily wants to know if waxing makes us more prone to herpes. Now as women a lot of us remove our pubic hair either via waxing, shaving or sugaring. It's a trend now, thanks to the porn industry. When she asks this I think Emily is talking about complete pubic hair removal. But before we get into her answer, let's understand a few things about why we have pubic hair in the first place. It is a natural part of our genitals, it's there to protect us and act as a buffer and barrier. It also helps to maintain lubrication during sex, and it helps reduce friction during sex. Pubic hair does a lot of good things for us!   Now here's where it gets tricky. The short answer to Emily's question is yes waxing and hair removal makes you more prone to getting herpes. And the reason why is because herpes is transferred from skin to skin contact. When the pubic hair is removed there is less protection of skin and more skin is exposed during skin to skin contact.   Tweetable:  “Waxing and hair removal makes you more prone to getting herpes.” -   Alexandra Harbushka   Also when we remove the pubic hair it creates abrasions on the skin, and microscopic open wounds in the skin. When there are more open wounds there are more areas for bacteria and viruses to enter the body.   It's something to think about and keep in mind. I'm not saying you'll get herpes if you remove your pubic hair, just that it makes it easier for the virus to get in. And if you have herpes you might want to keep your pubic hair so there is another buffer that can reduce the chance of passing it onto your partner. But if you want to remove your pubic hair, of course, go ahead and do it, I'm not saying you can't! However, you want to maintain your body is up to you. I just want you to know that does make you more susceptible to passing or receiving herpes and other STDs.   What are your thoughts - will knowing this change how you maintain that part of your body? Let me know what you think after you listen to episode 3 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources  

• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit (use the code podcast for 50% off)
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• Life With Herpes YouTube channel
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Mean girls, Slut Shaming And Your Socioeconomic Status [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9uWGlaLXpRWXYwYw==[/video_player]   Life With Herpes Podcast   Welcome to Life With Herpes, thanks for joining me on episode 31! On this episode we aren’t talking specifically about herpes, but about the stigma of being a slut. A friend sent me a link to an article in The Atlantic about slut shaming, and I wanted to share it with you today.   You’ll hear about a fascinating study two professors conducted that explored why women called certain women sluts, the role socioeconomics plays, and much more on this edition of Life With Herpes.   More About Life With Herpes I wanted to talk about the use of the word slut and slut-shaming because one of the stigmas that goes along with herpes is that you must be a slut if you’ve got it. You and I both know this isn’t true. In fact, I'm here to say there is no such as a slut. Calling someone a slut is really about slut-shaming: some people are victims to this and others love to use the word to describe someone else. When someone uses the word to shame another person it's really about making the name-caller feel better about themselves, it has nothing to do with the supposed slut.   A friend sent me an article in The Atlantic looking at slut-shaming, it’s well worth a read but I’ll give you an overview here. There were two researchers who interviewed 53 women from their first year in college until their first year out of college. The researchers are Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociology professor at the University of Michigan and Laura Hamilton, then a graduate assistant and now a sociology professor at the University of California-Merced. Originally the researchers started out looking at different incomes and how that impacted a woman's perception of herself (whether she was confident or not confident). Along the way they noticed different women had different attitudes about sex and this attitude was influenced by their family's income. So they split the group into two categories: wealthy and working class (non-wealthy) women. The wealthy women came from families that had money. They didn't have to work to go to college, they were typically in a sorority and had discretionary income. The working class women paid their own way, they had to work to pay for their college education. What the researchers noticed was the drama around slut shaming: Armstrong said they would see working class girls walk out of the dorms to meet up with boys and the privileged girls would say "why are you wearing that?!". Five or six of the wealthy women actively practiced slut-shaming or degrading other women for their "loose sexual morals". Their accusations for what constituted sluttiness would change: it wasn't measured based on personality traits, but on unattractiveness. And calling a woman a slut is a surefire way to undermine a woman's confidence and make her feel bad. Tweetable:  “I’m here to say there is no such thing as a slut.” - Alexandra Harbushka   One of the wealthy women in the study said (of the working class women) that going over to a guy's house is “...whoring yourself out….” and is considered slutty. The wealthy women tended to view casual sex as problematic ONLY when it was done outside steady relationships, but only if it was vaginal sex (not oral sex, for example). In other words it was okay to have vaginal sex if you are in a steady relationship, but if you aren't then it is slutty. But blowjobs don’t count and aren't considered slutty. These same women also said frequent "hooking up": kissing, making out and oral sex doesn’t make you a slut. While the working class women didn't see hooking up as excluding vaginal intercourse, they thought all sex and hookups should incur within a primary relationship. These two groups defined sluttiness as completely different behaviors. basically wealthy women called a woman a slut if she didn't dress properly and didn't act in certain ways. Here's an example: if a woman was wearing a short skirt just to go out then it was fine. But if she was wearing a short skirt and dancing close to a man then she was a slut.   However the working class women would call the wealthy women a slut if she was being rude and "cliquey".   What the research also showed was that the girl who had the most sexual partners was a wealthy girl. She had the most sterling reputation because she was an expert at concealing her sexual history. She wouldn't hook up with guys who knew each other, she would go to guys in different groups. The guys didn't talk to each other because they didn't know each other.   To bring this a little closer to home and to be transparent and vulnerable, I will tell you I have definitely called other people a slut based on what they wear and what they do. And I have looked at them and said I was sure they had herpes (this is before I had herpes). I can remember going back to homecoming after graduating from college and we were talking about one of my sorority sisters. She was known for hooking up with everyone, giving lots of blow jobs. That was her reputation: she was known for being a slut. As we were talking about her someone said they were sure she had herpes. And this was after I had found out I had herpes, naturally it made me so mad that they would assume having herpes made her or anyone else a slut. You and I know this isn’t true, but the stigma and connection of herpes and being a “slut” is still there.   What do you think? Are you remembering times when you slut-shamed someone, and how you can change that now? Let’s work to break the stigma of “sluts” and herpes. If we can get rid of the herpes stigma maybe we can get rid of the slut stigma, too.   Weigh in with your thoughts in our free, private community on Facebook, or send me an email after you’ve listened to all of episode 31 of Life With Herpes.   Episode Resources

• There Is No Such Thing As A Slut, an article in The Atlantic
• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST)
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils

The herpes virus is promiscuous     [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9hVlFiNXFiWXF6SQ==[/video_player]   Welcome to episode 30 of Life With Herpes! I'm honored you are here and grateful for the time we have together. There are so many of you from around the world and I am thrilled you want to learn and know the facts about herpes, thank you for being here.   Today I want to tell you a story about the phrase “I almost got herpes”; I'm sure you'll laugh when you hear it so tune in for episode 30 of Life With Herpes!   More About Life With Herpes Obviously you and I both have herpes, it's why we are here. We know how easy it is transmit it, we know the deal and we know what is what about herpes. But the people in this story I’m going to share with you today did not! The names have been changed, but let’s call these two Tom and Amy. I was talking to Tom about 7 or 8 years ago, here in La Jolla (it’s one of the beach communities in San Diego). We were at a place called The Living Room; it’s a coffee house on the first floor and on the second floor is a hookah lounge. So we were there to smoke a hookah, and they give you a protective covering for the hookah so when you pass the hookah you don't pass any of your germs or diseases (like herpes). Tom asked me if I knew what the protection was for and I said no. He said it's for herpes. Then he continued on to tell me he almost got herpes. He literally said to me: “you know I almost got herpes.” And I wanted him to tell me how, which he did.   Now in full disclosure this was before I knew all that I know today, I still had my own stereotypes about who would and could get herpes.   So Tom tells me he was sleeping with Amy, which I didn’t know. He also told me after he slept with her, one of our friends told him Amy has herpes. Tom goes on to say he almost got herpes because he slept with her. He also told me he had been tested multiple times after and he has always been negative. Tweetable:  “The herpes virus is promiscuous, not the person who carries it.”Alexandra Harbushka As I was thinking about this story years later when I have herpes, I realized that phrase he used - "I almost got herpes" - is a phrase everyone should use every time they have sex, not just when they hook up with someone who has it. Now based on what I know, how many people have it and how it can be transmitted without having an outbreak, I think it should be said any time you have sex with someone! Any time you have sex with someone you risk the chance of getting herpes.   I think the only time you know you're in the clear is if you know you are in a 100% monogamous relationship and you know 100% neither of you has HSV-1 and HSV-2. Because you can almost always get it I say the virus is promiscuous! It is ready to go at any time and in any body and any host that will accept it.   I thought of this because I want to share personal stories with you, and this one came to mind. Thinking back on that moment I wish I could go back and say to Tom - you mean every time you slept with somebody you almost got herpes! Now I want to hear from you: has anyone told you they almost got herpes? What are your thoughts? Join us in the private Facebook group and let me know, after you’ve heard episode 30 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources  

• There Is No Such Thing As A Slut, an article in The Atlantic
• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Getting an STD test and learning the truth.     [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9vd296WEZGWlZTdw==[/video_player]     Thanks for spending your time with me here on the Life With Herpes podcast! Today I’m asking the question: are we in a herpes epidemic? What exactly makes something an epidemic? I’ve been thinking about these questions and researching the answers, so join me to hear what I’ve found on episode 29 of Life With Herpes!   More About Life With Herpes As I was thinking about whether or not we are in a herpes epidemic, I wondered what an epidemic is exactly. I looked up the definition and it is defined as a widespread occurrence of an infectious disease in a community at a particular time. Its synonyms are outbreak, plague, pandemic, epizootic.   So are we in an epidemic? As you know from previous episodes, 2 out of 3 people today have oral herpes and 1 out of 6 have HSV-2. Does that qualify as an epidemic? I think so. I mean when you do the math it equates to 75-80% of the population having at least one form of herpes! That's a whole lot of people my friends, and that's a lot of people who are impacted by the herpes stigma. I looked deeper into this to try to understand why herpes continues to grow. And I found an article on WebMD that says a survey of adults in 4 major American cities (New York City, Chicago, Atlanta and San Diego) shows many are still unaware of several important issues about genital herpes. Tweetable:  “Take a stand for our health and our partner’s health.” - Alexandra Harbushka     Here are some interesting facts from the survey:   The first statistic I noted was that 72% correctly answered saying they understand herpes is an STD, which is great. But what’s not great is that out of these people 16% say they have been tested for it. Only 16%! Now we have a better understanding of why herpes is being passed on and being spread. Second, this survey says 42% had never had an STD test. So that means close to 50% of the people out there - people you are sleeping with - have never had an STD test. Again that is why STDs continue to be spread. I think a lot of people are scared to get tested, and scared to get the results. There are also other factors like the time it'll take to go to the clinic and the money it'll cost. Just a note: Planned Parenthood offers free STD tests or will offer a sliding scale for the cost.   Here’s a third interesting fact from the survey: 1 out of 4 people asked about their partner's sexual history before engaging in sexual activity with them. So only 25% of people are finding out whether the person they are being intimate with has any diseases. I think it’s pretty clear now why herpes and other STDs continue to be spread: hardly anyone is getting tested and hardly anyone is talking about their sexual history!But this isn’t just about herpes, there are far, far worse STDS out there. Think about it: herpes is a skin disease but syphillis can drive you insane, HIV can kill you.   On today’s show you’ll also hear how many of the people surveyed know you can pass herpes without having any physical symptoms and you'll hear how passionate I am about taking a stand for your own health as well as your partner’s. Remember this virus and other STDs don’t care about how beautiful, handsome, rich or successful someone is - these diseases just want to survive.   Join me for more from this survey and let me know if you think we’re in a herpes epidemic after you tune into episode 29 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources  

• Article from Web MD
• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Ask, Answer & Get The Facts About Herpes     [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9pQTd4UE5keTNCdw==[/video_player]     Welcome to episode 28 of Life With Herpes! Here we are with another #AskAlexandra episode where I answer a question one of your sent to me. If you’ve been here before you know these are my favorite, favorite, favorite shows to do with you!   Do you have any questions of your own? Send them to me on LifeWithHerpes.com. When you’re on the web site scroll down to the bottom where you'll see the #AskAlexandra section and click. Fill out the Google form with your question. Remember you can remain anonymous if you want. Now today’s question comes from Tom in San Diego. His question is simple: what is safe sex? Listen in to hear my answer - which is anything but simple! - on episode 28 of Life With Herpes.   More About Life With Herpes   This is SUCH a great question, Tom! Thank you for sending it in. While at first glance defining safe sex may sound simple, but in reality, it is not.   We're all taught to use a condom and we are taught that passes as safe sex; we’re told we’ll be fine with a condom. Unfortunately, that’s not always true. And I learned this firsthand when I was teaching for Planned Parenthood when I was in high school. I went to different high schools to teach sex ed to the kids there, and I learned a lot! I found out the safest form of sex is abstinence. Now we all know that's unrealistic, but it's the safest form of protection against pregnancy and STDs.   So let's talk about what sex is and actually define sex and sexual activity: sex means vaginal, anal and oral sex. Sexual activity includes sex of course but it also includes foreplay that stimulates the genitals.   It's also important to practice safe sex consistently, even if you are having sex with the same partner. He or she could've been with someone else since you were last together, you really don't know. So use protection and use it for oral sex, anal sex and vaginal sex during every sexual encounter. Herpes and other STDs can be passed through oral sex so protection is necessary. Typically the different forms of protection include - Oral sex with a condom (latex is safest), dental dam, or plastic wrap - Vaginal sex with a male or female condom - Anal sex with a male or female condom   The best form for preventing herpes is the female condom. Why? Because it's a much larger condom, it's much wider and it covers more space inside and out. It’s used by being inserted in the vaginal canal. The man doesn't use a condom, he inserts his penis into the female condom. There are drawbacks though: they are more complicated, they can fall out easier and you can still transmit herpes through areas that are not covered by the condom.   Which is why you should also use a condom during foreplay, you are touching each other's genitals and can come in contact with STDs like herpes. There is skin to skin contact and herpes can be passed that way, along with other STDs. And all STDs can be passed before, during or after sex.   Tweetable:  “Looking out for your health and your partner’s health is sexy!” -  Alexandra Harbushka     Safe sex also means taking precautions if you have cuts, sores, or bleeding gums; these can increase the risk of spreading HIV and other STDs. Again this includes oral sex. With oral sex, if you have or are receiving oral sex from someone with cuts, sores or bleeding gums, you need to be aware and take precautions.   Although it may not be the most comfortable conversation initially, you’ve got to remember this is about your health. And what could be sexier than looking out for your health and your partner's health? So ask to see their STD tests, offer to show yours and then talk about the results. And do this consistently, with every partner.   A big thanks to Tom from San Diego for this simple question with a big answer! If you want to be cool like Tom send me your question after you listen to episode 28 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources

• WebMD Article on Safe Sex And HIV/AIDS Prevention
• The Herpes Crisis Toolkit Use Discount Code: PASSWORD for 50% off
• Life With Herpes Website
• Join The Life With Herpes Community
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils