Life With Herpes

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 Welcome to Life With Herpes, I’m excited you are here! Today we have a delightful guest, Dr. Samadhi Longo-Disse who is here with us. Dr. Sami, as I call her, is a wonderfully wise woman and a certified sexological bodyworker.On episode 7 of Life with Herpes we talk about the importance of honesty and communication in your sex life, and why tapping into your sexual energy in a healthy way is so important. You’ll hear that and more on today’s edition of Life With Herpes.  

More About Life With Herpes

  Talking about sex, whether specifically about herpes or not, is something that doesn’t come easily to most of us. Generation after generation has been told that sex is bad, and the sex-related parts of our bodies are taboo. Dr. Sami goes so far as to say we’ve all been sexually abused because of this.   And as a result of these taboos, we have no valuable, good and authentic sexual education that is widely available to vast audiences. There are people starting to make this knowledge accessible to the public, but by and large, most of us are ignorant about the connections between our sexuality, our bodies, and our emotions. And that leads to problems within ourselves and our relationships.   Herpes is an example of this. It's growing as a diagnosis, and many people have no idea they have it. In fact, 70% of transmissions happen when the person with herpes is not having an outbreak. We have to change this through communication and through knowledge. Armed with both we can create safe environments for open discussions with our partners, and safe environments lead to great sex. From a biological perspective when we can feel safe our organs know it: the penis can become erect, the vagina lubricates and the makings of great sex are all there. It’s the same with GLBT relationships: lubrication and erection are important.   Dr. Sami explains that the blood vessels only engorge when you are relaxed and they only relax when you feel safe. So practicing safe sex can provide this type of environment for you and your partner. And be sure to do so during foreplay too.   The first step to creating this safety is to talk about what kind of an atmosphere you want to create, let your sexual expression become conscious. The more in touch with your body you are the more in touch you can become with your partner and they with you. The more conscious the sex the greater it is! This is a practice that leads to ecstatic sex, something you can't have it without feeling safe.   Unfortunately, most people learn about sex through pornography, movies or friends and Dr. Sami says that's the blind leading the blind! That is not a proper sexual education, we have to learn from people who have learned it and experienced it themselves.

Tweetable:  “Safety is the foundation of great sex.” - Dr. Samadhi Longo-Disse

In terms of what she offers for sex education, we talk about what happens when someone comes to her when they have herpes. Typically they come to her when they are in a state of confusion, fear, frustration or panic - or some combination of those. Often people have just been diagnosed, or they think they may have it or they simply “feel funny”.   First, she sits with them and helps them express the pain and the fear. She starts by having them breathe deeply to calm down, which allows them to open up to their pain. Their pain is usually what is at the root of their fear.   Once the person is in touch with the pain and the grief and they are allowed to express those feelings, they can openly talk about what happened. But they can't get down to that until they’ve filtered through their pain. From there they can talk about what to do next and how to talk about their situation with their partner. Today we also talk about what she recommends for people who have herpes and haven't told their partner yet, how to talk about it and why it’s so important to always use a condom. We cover those topics and wrap up with a discussion on radical honesty. Join us for this enlightening and safe conversation with Dr. Sami on episode 7 of Life With Herpes.

Episode Resources

 

• Dr. Samadhi Longo-Disse’s website
• Scalded: The Making And Undoing of An Extremist, by Dr. Samadhi Longo-Disse
• Life With Herpes website
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s Essential oils

     

Ask, Answer & Get the Facts About Herpes   [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9YU0hYSTRlZGpQWQ==[/video_player]   Welcome to Life With Herpes, I’m excited you are here! This is another #askalexandra episode where you write in with a question and I answer it. If you want to send your question to go to LifeWithHerpes.com and scroll down to the bottom where you'll see the #askllexandra section and click on that. Fill out the Google form with your question. Remember you can remain anonymous if you want;. I only use your first name and your city, but if you want complete anonymity I will do that for you! Today’s question comes from Katie in Orlando, Florida who writes in to ask if herpes can be passed on to someone else even if you don't have an outbreak. Check out episode 6 of Life With Herpes to hear the answer! More About Life With Herpes Thanks for your great question Katie, the quick answer is yes herpes can be passed on even when you don’t have an outbreak. In fact, I think this is how I got it; I think my ex-partner passed it on even when he didn't have an outbreak. As we know when we have an outbreak blisters pop up and the area is sore and painful. It can take anywhere from a few days to two weeks for the outbreak to go away. And when we first get the virus it pops up within 2 days to 10 days. after that the virus goes dormant, popping up when it wants. When there is no outbreak your body is doing something called shedding. The virus is in your nervous system and when it is dormant your body wants to shake things off a bit, it wants to shed. At this point you have no symptoms, no outbreak, it's just the virus doing it's thing, and it can be passed on. It’s estimated this is when about 70% of transmissions occur, when we are asymptomatic. Tweetable:  “You are always at risk of infecting your partner.” - Alexandra Harbushka In other words anyone infected with herpes (HSV1 or HSV2) can be passed when you are asymptomatic. It's important to talk about this because you need to tell your partner, he or she needs to know before you have sex. They need to know even when you don't have an outbreak you can still give them herpes. In an upcoming episode, we'll talk about the numerous ways to protect your partner, including communication. Big thanks to Katie for that question on today’s episode of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources  

• Life With Herpes website
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• Submit Your #askalexandra Question for a Future Episode
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils

Community, Friends, and Herpes Welcome to Life With Herpes, I’m excited you are here! Whether it's for yourself or for a loved one I appreciate you being with me on the show. This episode is a bonus; I want to reassure you being a part of the Life With Herpes community is safe and secure, no one will know unless you want them to. We’ll talk about that and more on today’s show. More About Life With Herpes I created this special bonus episode because I understand not wanting others to know you have herpes; I’m here to reassure you people aren't going to know you have herpes just by listening in. And your Facebook friends won't know you have herpes if you join our group. It's private, secure and not available to the general public. It's a secret group so no one can see that you've joined. This show and the Facebook group is for us to share, to laugh, to cry, to be angry, to be joyful together. It's for us to go through this experience together and support each and be on this ride as a community. So don’t worry about anyone knowing you have herpes just by joining us on Facebook. Tweetable:  “Being a part of this community is safe and secure.” - Alexandra Harbushka It’s also private when you become a subscriber. When you hit the subscribe on your phone it shows up in your phone, but not anywhere else. It downloads into your podcast app on your phone. All you have to do is go to iTunes and press subscribe. You can share it of course, via email or on social media if you want. If you are on YouTube and want to subscribe you'll get email notifications when there is a new episode but no other notifications will go to the general public. I wanted you to know this is secure and I am doing everything I can to keep this private for you, I understand about not wanting to tell the whole world you have herpes! I'm here for you and so is the rest of the community. Thanks for tuning into this special bonus show about Life With Herpes. Episode Resources  

• Life With Herpes website
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s Essential Oils

Vacation an outbreak and time to get creative!   [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9DYmZneVRQQ0Fpaw==[/video_player] Welcome to Life With Herpes, I’m excited you are here! Whether it's for yourself or for a loved one I appreciate you being with me on the show. Vacations are a time meant for fun, freedom, and relaxation. But they are also the ideal setting for a herpes outbreak so today we talk about how to be prepared when you travel, and what you can do to potentially prevent an outbreak while on vacay. You’ll hear that and more on episode 4 of Life With Herpes. More About Life With Herpes I'm sure you can guess why I came up with this as a topic for the show: I just went on vacation and I had an outbreak. Of course, right?! You’ve probably had it happen too; you make plans for your first vacay with your lover, or you make honeymoon plans, or some other type of vacation arrangements to get away relax and enjoy yourself only to have an outbreak. Because I’ve been in that spot before here's what I like to travel with, whether or not I am having an outbreak: I have my anti-viral pills, I use valacyclovir. That pill zaps it right away. For example, I was on my vacation and was away from the resort for lunch. I sat down and immediately thought "No! No way, that's just not possible!". By the time I finished lunch I knew I had an outbreak. So I took the valacyclovir as soon as possible because it can even prevent a full-on outbreak if taken fast enough. I had to wait six hours but that was still pretty quick, I never got an outbreak! I also pack a few essential oils like tea tree oil (otherwise known as melaleuca). Tea tree oil has a lot of antiviral and antiseptic qualities so it helps your body heal the outbreak area faster. Lavender oil also helps heal the skin too. When I have an outbreak there are the cautionary methods I use so I don't pass it on, I recommend you use these methods as well. I wash my hands after touching a blister or the outbreak area. And I wash with warm water and soap, singing the happy birthday song so I know I am washing your hands long enough. And I also wash under my fingernails too, you don't want the virus on your hands and for it to be spread to another part of your body or to someone else. If you normally sleep nude then sleep with underwear on during an outbreak, it’s what I do. And although this is obvious I'll say it anyway, don't have sex, especially if your partner doesn't have it. Don't have sex, don't masturbate.   Tweetable:  “You can be very intimate without traditional sex.” - Alexandra Harbushka I know it's hard when you're on vacation because vacation is the perfect setting for intimacy! You have time, you are alone, you are relaxed - all of that makes for great sexy time together. But instead of sex, get creative. You can give the other person oral sex (you can’t receive it). You can make out instead, making out can be very sexy and fun! Get out of your normal routine and pattern, mix things up and be creative in your sexual expression with your partner.   Today I also talk about why you should tell your partner as soon as you have an outbreak or think you may have one, as well as some of the reasons traveling and vacations are the perfect settings for a herpes outbreak. Find out what those reasons are on the fourth episode of Life With Herpes!   Episode Resources  

• Life With Herpes website
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s Essential Oils

Ask, Answer and get the facts #askalexandra   [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9QUTJzOHhDZ1ctcw==[/video_player]   Welcome to Life With Herpes and our weekly #AskAlexandra show! If you have a question you want answered on an episode just like this one send me an email, leave a comment here or connect with me on social media. You can ask and remain anonymous, be sure to tell me and I won’t give your name!   On episode 3 of the podcast, we’re talking about herpes, and what it is exactly. John from Norfolk Virginia wrote in with this great question, find out my answer on today’s edition of Life With Herpes.   More About Life With Herpes   John’s question is a good one; we hear the word herpes but most of us don't know what it is exactly. So I'll break it down for you: it's a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and it's the most common and the most contagious of all STDs in the USA.   There a lot of different types of herpes but the one we are talking about today is the herpes simplex virus (HSV), and it’s two types: HSV1 and HSV2. According to the CDC (Centers For Disease Control) about 1 in 6 Americans between 14 and 49 years of age have HSV2, and 2 out of 3 have HSV1.   HSV1 is commonly known as cold sores, fever blisters, or oral herpes. Typically it is what is found around your mouth. A lot of people get this even as early as childhood, often having it passed on to them from a family member. It is transmitted from skin to skin contact.   HSV2 is commonly known as genital herpes: vagina, penis, anus, and areas around. It is most commonly transmitted through any type of sex: oral, vaginal or anal.   Now let’s talk about what happens when you have a herpes outbreak: you get painful blisters that pop up. I joke that when I touch my blisters I can feel it in my toes! It's a joke but the point is the outbreak is extraordinarily painful. These blisters can break open and are then called lesions. Lesions can take from a few days to 2 weeks to heal, these are similar on the mouth and the genitals.   The herpes virus has been around for millions of years; I have an upcoming episode with a herpes expert who says the virus has been with us as long as we humans have roamed the Earth! Stay tuned to this show for that insightful and scientific look at herpes, and listen in to the rest of today’s episode for more news about having herpes (including the good news!). It’s all here on today's edition of Life with Herpes. Tweetable:  “Herpes is the most common and most contagious of all STDs.” - Alexandra Harbushka     Episode Resources  

• Life With Herpes website
• Submit you #askalexandra Question
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s Essential oils

Finding out you are diagnosed with an STD   [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9QcHpmZjMtVHJ2bw==[/video_player] Welcome to Life With Herpes, thank you for being here. Whether you were diagnosed or someone you know was, this podcast is a place for you to feel safe, to learn, to laugh and to be yourself. For our first show I am opening up about my story of how I got herpes and what it was like when I got the call from my doctor to tell me the news. You’ll hear all the emotions I felt, all the thoughts that went through my mind, what I did, and how the people I told responded. It’s real, it’s raw and it’s my story of how I got herpes here on episode 1 of Life with Herpes. More About Life With Herpes As I’m sharing this show with you and my personal story I'm excited and scared at the same time! I never will forget where I was going, what I was wearing, all of the details from that moment. It was the Friday before the 4th of July in 2011 and it was hot in San Diego, where I lived at the time and still live. Previous to that I had just gone on vacation to Palm Springs with someone I was dating, and as we were leaving Palm Springs I didn't feel right. I had a pap smear scheduled for a few days later so I decided to wait until then. But the discomfort grew worse and worse, it became painful to wear anything but dresses. It hurt to sit down, thongs hurt if they rubbed at all, and jeans were excruciating to wear.   I thought it was just a really bad yeast infection, not in a million years did I think it was herpes. So I saw my doctor, who didn’t think it looked like herpes but she did a test just in case. A few days later she called and told me it was in fact herpes.   My mind was in shock, I couldn’t believe it. How could I get it from someone I knew, someone I was dating?! In my head I thought you got herpes from one night stands, from people who you didn't know and didn't trust. I knew and trusted the guy I was dating, we had gone to school together.   I remember asking the doctor if I had had it for a long time. She said it was remotely possible, but usually, the incubation period is within a week so if you started feeling this towards the end of your vacation it's most likely from the new guy. After talking with the doctor and my best friend, I decided I would go visit the guy I had been in my most recent previous relationship. I went to see him and bravely told him in private that I had herpes and it was most likely from the guy I was currently dating but he should be checked, just in case. I was shaking so badly I could hardly walk, but I knew I had to tell him. He was, of course, scared and nervous, but he asked if I was okay. He told me I looked like I needed to sit down. I remember how concerned he was for my well-being, it was his primary concern. After meeting with him I went to back to work and to call past partners. But my thoughts always went back to feeling so scared that no one would ever love me again, at one point I sat on my office floor and cried hysterically. Later in the day I had to pick up my prescriptions for my herpes and for the yeast infection. Because my period had started that day (I was not feeling awesome as you can imagine), I also bought a bottle of wine, peanut M&Ms and a box of tampons. I was ready to go home and cry. I didn't go home though, I went to the guy's house who I was in a relationship with at the time. We had made plans for a date that night but when I got there he could tell something was wrong.I told him to sit down and I proceeded to tell him I had herpes. I was straight-faced and unemotional so I could get the words out. Then I tried to make light of it by joking about what other people must've thought of my purchases at the pharmacy with my wine, M&Ms, tampons and herpes medications! He said yeah the pharmacist must've thought you were a slut.   He stood up and told me to get out of his house. He denied giving me herpes and was angry that I was even in his house with it (it being herpes).   So I stood up with my M&Ms, tampons, and wine and was about to leave when he calmed down and said no just stay, let's get burritos and call it a night. It took him awhile to get tested, I think it was at least a month later when he did get the test done. I was at my aunt's house at a beach party when he texted me and said yes I have herpes too. I now know that's where I got herpes, and that’s my story. It feels good to share this with you and to be raw, naked and exposed. I hope it will help you get through your own experience with herpes. Thank you for being here on episode 1 of Life with Herpes!   Tweetable:  “You are not a scarlet letter.” - Alexandra Harbushka   Episode Resources  

• Life With Herpes website
• Join the Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook Page

[video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS96ZThoejUwRVBTVQ==[/video_player] Living Life with an STD   Welcome to our inaugural show! As you may have guessed from the title of the show we’re talking about life with herpes. We’re going to talk about herpes and we’re going to talk about it a lot!   On our first episode, I’ll be sharing with you what this podcast is all about, what you can expect to hear and how often, and a secret resource I’ve created for you. Join me and check it out on episode zero of Life With Herpes.   More About This Show   Personally, I know what it's like to have herpes, and to live with it. Since you are here I'm assuming you have it or someone you love has it, and now you want to know more. You want to know how to live with it, or how to connect and talk about it with the person in your life who has it.   Believe me when I tell you I've had all the thoughts and questions you have had or are having: how am I going to live with this? Will anyone ever love me again? Will I ever have sex again? Will I ever be kissed again?   It's an emotional roller coaster, a really big one. And that’s why I’ve created this show: to help you through the ups and downs, to let you know you are not alone.     What I don't want is for you to feel like you are on your own the way I thought I was, I want to spare you that experience. Of course I knew I wasn't the only person living iwth it but I didn't feel like I could talk about herpes with anyone because of the stigma around it. I thought I'd be looked at differently, even judged and I felt ashamed and disgusting. And on top of it I felt alone.But now that you are here you are not alone. You will have several episodes a week to help guide you through everyday life questions (how to live with it, how to talk about it, home remedies that work and don’t work). There will also be episodes where you’ll hear from experts in the field about the latest in research and advancements.   In all of this I want you to feel like you have a friend and family member along with you on this journey. This is a show for you and your experience with herpes: we're going to learn, laugh and cry together. We'll even talk about having outbreaks, because where else and who else can you talk to about outbreaks?! You can talk to me and everyone in this community, that’s who and what’s where. Check out today’s show to hear more details about upcoming episodes, and to find out how to connect with the secret Facebook community and why no one outside of that group will know when you join us. You are safe with us in that group and you are safe here! Thanks for listening, I’m glad we’re on this journey together.   Tweetable:  “It’s an emotional rollercoaster.” - Alexandra Harbushka   Episode Resources   Life With Herpes website Join the Life With Herpes Facebook community Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook Page

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Essential Oil Remedies For An Outbreak

  Welcome to Life With Herpes, thank you for being here. I’m always looking into the latest on herpes: research statistics, exploring home remedies and just generally staying on top of what’s going on with the virus.   Today I’m going to share three of my favorite oils to use during an outbreak, how they’ve been working for me and how they might help you too. Listen in to hear what the oils are and how to use them on episode 2 of Life with Herpes.  

More About Life With Herpes

  Recently I was looking for some new home remedies to try so I could pass them on to you, when I had the thought that I hadn’t had an outbreak in awhile nor did I feel one coming on. Then I heard myself wish for an outbreak so I could try these at-home solutions! Now who in the world wishes for an outbreak?! No one! But part of me had made that wish and as you may have guessed, I had an outbreak. If you’re like you're probably familiar with the symptoms and you know what triggers an outbreak in you. For me I get exhausted and a day or two later I have an outbreak. But that wasn't the case this time! I'm on day two or three of it, and I'm utterly exhausted now. Usually, it's the other way around: exhaustion first and then an outbreak.   One of the things I've always done during an outbreak is to use tea tree oil (it's also called melaleuca). I like it because it smells so clean. It's important to keep the outbreak area as dry and clean as possible, and this oil helps with that a lot. Tea tree oil is known to kill many strains of viruses, bacteria, and fungus so it’ll help kill off whatever it can in your outbreak area.   A new oil I've been using is lavender. I recently burned my hand and wanted something to help it stay clean and heal, when someone recommended lavender. It healed the burn practically overnight!   So I wondered what it would do for an outbreak. Now I've been adding lavender oil to the tea tree oil and it's really soothing to the irritated skin, plus it reduces anxiety and helps you stay calm.   A third oil I like to add is myrrh, it has anti-fungal properties and promotes healthy skin. Plus it gives a nice, soothing sensation to your skin. This oil and the other two are all antiviral, antifungal and antibacterial.   I tried all three of these oils during this outbreak and I think they helped shorten the duration of it, and made they made it a lot milder.   And I’ll add you can use peppermint oil once you get to the itching point of your outbreak, it really helps.   If you’re wondering what brand to use I swear by DoTerra; I am obsessed with them! I've used other essential oils and these are my favorite; they are so pure you can consume them. Even if you don't have an outbreak right now you will have another one so you can nip it in the bud next time! Let me know if you use these oils and if they help you. Thank you for being here on episode 2 of Life with Herpes!  

Tweetable:  “I’ve always used tea tree oil during an outbreak.” - Alexandra Harbushka

 

Episode Resources

 

• Life With Herpes website
• Join The Life With Herpes Facebook community
• 9 OTC Herpes Remedies
• Check out the Life With Herpes Facebook page
• DoTerra’s essential oils