I spend like 25 minutes telling you how good The Insider is. Then I tell you about my labor day weekend, where most of the labor was "the work I put into trying to get laid, or meet a girlfriend." I went to see my friends' stand up show at the Improv, and try to figure out if Catherine Keener was there. (I think she was. Was she? I think so. Yes.)

"Luke Biden," over here. A wild weekend of unhealthy food, booze, old movies, bad service, good service, police, hipsters, heroes, dive bars, beaches, and lousy pie.

The big 405 prize giveaway! The 4' of safe space in my entire neighborhood to park my bike has been compromised, so now we all suffer. T Dog's pre-birthday, and more wonderful, reliable service at another California Mexican restaurant. I went to see an old movie with Barbara Hershey and John Lithgow and they were there, and so was the piece of shit director. Nobody saw Nobody 2, and deservedly so. Like the old saying goes: "people that host shows in Glass Houses should have stones thrown at them." (It was a reach, but I went for it)

No one knows how to write TV shows OR songs anymore, apparently. (Lucky us) We're up to two white male protagonists in a new Star Wars movie?! The earth might spin off its axis!! I saw that new movie "Weapons" and have many thoughts, then Bokes, Mrs. Bokes, and I travel to Las Vegas to hang out with Billy Biohazard at the Punk Rock Museum. It was a glorious occasion that I spend way too much time talking about. (Can you believe it?) Finally, the eternal Los Angeles conundrum: "Rats or Mexicans?"

Chipotle Incompetence, and at this point, I should almost make a separate podcast dedicated to complaining about gyms. (Im SO sorry) The Bore Of 1812, and a comically angry, tiny, Italian would-be assassin, lost to history…until now. (It's a good one)

Lukester: The eternal Familiar Stranger. No one drinks at 8pm here. Liam Neeson and Pameler Anderson are apparently an item, and I have thoughts about it. Fantastic Four had a massive audience drop off in its second week, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it made me "low key" happy. (As the kids say) I saw the Robert Altman movie "Nashville," and really wished I hadn't.

Why would the expensive wireless headphones I bought actually work? I went to the Deftones themed bar event in downtown LA this weekend hoping to meet chicks, and it went about is as well you probably expect it did. I saw the movie "Eddington" and 10 minutes of The Fantastic Four, so you don't have to. Lungs update: "Go fuck yourself (basically)" – My Doctor. The Arnold nod. Motorcycle madness.

"War is hell." (Seriously) Big update at Golds Gym Venice, get ready. The usual suspects are glad that Hulk Hogan is dead. (Here's a clue: "they're probably cat owners.") AFI: WTF? (take 2) I saw Andre The Giant, and my mom once met…Richard Nixon and Dwight D Eisenhower?! (And other historical Allen revelations!) New aggravation just dropped: "someone" leaving their coffee cup on the filthy sink surface. I went to see Aliens in 70mm at the Egyptian with Gale Ann Hurd (the producer) doing q&A, and shit got wild.

It's Polish Brandon's birthday, and Ozzy Osbourne's death day. (God damn DEATH dedication…) More bands in 90s movies, and ruminations on Kim Basinger's bush. Ka-mara. Rebuffed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Movers." AFI: WTF? Grant rant. A night out in Toluca Lake, and the impossibility for anyone in the greater Los Angeles area to not fuck up my hamburger.

I think I'm finally all better! (Maybe? I don't know. At least my cough is gone! For now!) (Nervous laughter) No one plays "lovably sleazy" like Paul Giamatti. Exciting things coming up (I didn't know how else to articulate this segment) Unfortunately for you, I found out today was the 30 year anniversary of seeing Korn for the first time. "Mecca of bodybuilding?" More like WRECK-A of bodybuilding. A prolific, Los Angeles-gallavanting Saturday, and I went to see Superman so you don't have to. (This shouldve been a two-parter, I'm sorry. Save it for a long drive? Or if you want to get your wife to leave you.)