Live With Meaning Podcast

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on feelings.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.  Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Recently I saw a video where there was a chalkboard on a street in New York City, and it said, "What's your biggest regret?"  People were looking at the chalkboard, and then they started to write things such as, "Wasting time, not saying yes to things, staying in my comfort zone… “A woman said she did Plan B and didn't take the chances she should have in life.

I remember in my 20's saying I wasn't going to live life with regrets.  Then life happened, and there are plenty of things, situations and conversations that I wish I could do-over.

So how do we live a life with no regrets and wipe the slate clean and say to ourselves that we CAN start again? 

1. Don't waste time.  We tend to push things off into the future.  “I will do that when”.... Our time here is not as long as we might like to think.  There are no guarantees that tomorrow will come, so if there is something you want to do with your life, or learn, or teach, whatever that is, don't waste any more time. Just do it.  Do something every day that gets you closer to what you want.

2. Take chances. If you feel there is something missing, be willing to say you’re not living your life to the fullest.  Step out of your comfort zone and be willing to risk what you want for this life.  You have one shot at this life, you get to choose how you are going to live it.  That means you have to take chances; risk it all for what you want.

3. Find a mentor.  Who inspires you?  This person doesn't have to be anyone you've ever met, but an individual who is out there doing what they do, and you find them inspiring.  A leader in their field and they make a difference in the people around them.  Read their books, visit their website, follow them on social media and see what they are doing and how you can emulate them.

4. Life is not always perfect.  There will be highs and lows and mistakes made along the way.  What makes life so great is that there are all these twists and turns.  If you didn't go through something that was challenging, how would you know what a real victory felt like?  It's the times when we fail or struggle that we can find the biggest lesson.  Just because we fall, doesn't mean we have to stay down.

I was talking with some young girls the other day, and I was saying that we have all been through a lot in our lives, good and bad.  But those choices have shaped me and where I am right now.  I wouldn't change any of those things because it has made me stronger and taught me some invaluable lessons.  I wouldn't be where I am today without those decisions.  I wouldn't be the person I am without the mistakes I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned along the way.

I make better choices now because of those bad decisions in my past.  I don't want to live my life with the thought of, "I wish" or "I should have."  Know that you have a clean slate and can start again.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.  Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice focusing on the breath.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

It's now February 2016, and I hope we are all moving closer to our goals we set for ourselves just a short time ago.  It's been a busy time for me as more job opportunities have sprung up, but I've also had to take a step back and ask myself why I'm willing to say yes to some of these connections because even though I would like to, I can’t say yes to everything.

I've taken some time and asked myself, "What is my why for what I'm trying to accomplish?"  What is my goal and how am I going to get there.  It's time to get laser focused on what I want to achieve.  My best friend, who challenges me in more ways than one, always says to me, "What is your why?"  Why are you doing something?  This question applies to my business and my personal life.  

I want to share some ways to help you find your why and how to be laser focused on achieving your goals.

1. 1. What makes you feel alive?  What do you do in your life that you look forward to more than anything else?  What makes your heart sing?  Take a minute, and think about that.  What is it that you genuinely love doing?  How often do you get to do that, and how can you incorporate more of that into your life.  What would that perfect day look like if you could be doing what makes you feel alive.

1. 2. Step out of your comfort zone.  If you are afraid to take that leap into something unknown, I completely understand.  It's scary.  But if there's something you want to do, you need to take that leap of faith and just do it.  When I said I wanted to be a yoga instructor, I had no idea what that looked like, or even if I wanted to teach.  I just knew I wanted to learn more about yoga.  When I said I wanted to be a podcaster, again, I had no idea what I was getting into, but I eventually took that leap and started doing it.  Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone, you never know what great rewards will be there waiting for you.

1. 3. Take a look at all areas of your life.  Look at your current employment. Why are you working there and do you love what you do?  What are your hobbies and can you find more time to fit them into your life.  What is the state of your relationships?  If something needs to change, speak up and ask for what you want and need and be clear about why you are asking for what you want.

1. 4. Start being more proactive, less reactionary.  Just by reading this, you are more proactive, but when you close this page, will you take the time to think about your why?  Be brave enough to say that you are unhappy with your job, and you want to make a change even if you're not absolutely sure what that looks like.  Be more passionate about your relationships and what you are wanting from them.

There is nothing worse than living an unfulfilled life, a life that is running you.  Take a look at your why and why you are doing certain things.  Because once you find out your why you can begin walking in or towards your purpose.  

Look for the Live With Meaning Podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.  Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on Joy.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Learning to set an Intention is vitally important in all areas of life. What are you trying to accomplish? What are your goals? Where are you trying to go? It’s all based around Intention.

If you’ve ever attended a yoga class, the instructor may ask you to set an intention for your practice that day. When I first started doing yoga and I heard the word Intention, I thought, “I just want to survive this class.” I wasn’t sure what the instructor was talking about, but I was hoping to make it through class without embarrassing myself.

After attending yoga class for a while and listening to the instructors explain more about what Intention means in yoga, I started to change my objective for class. My intention moved from survival to what I was wanting for my life in that moment. My hope would be peace for myself, or to love myself more, or for understanding in whatever was troubling me that particular day.

Setting an intention doesn’t just apply to a yoga class. It’s applicable in all areas of our lives. When you attend a meeting, you may tell yourself that you’re hoping you obtain some valuable information. When you make a meal and sit down with your family, you’re hoping they enjoy the meal and you have a nice dinner. When you go to the gym, you’ve set a goal to stay on the treadmill for 30 minutes. These are all intentions.

So how do we create intentions where they can bring more value to our lives.

1. Set an intention upon waking up. When you wake up and are thinking about what you are grateful for (see How to start a gratitude practice), also think about how you want your day to go, and set an intention for your day. I want to get x, y and z done today. I want to finish the project I started yesterday. If you set the goal when you first wake up, you are more likely to accomplish it.

1. Let your intention consume you. In yoga, the intention we set at the beginning of class is what we are wanting for that class, for our life, or for health and healing for another. I can walk into class feeling stressed and I set an intention to calm my mind during class. Then during class I think about only what the instructor tells me to do. Move this hand, that foot, move into this posture. I’m not thinking anymore about what was causing me stress before class. I’m in the moment, only thinking about my limbs moving in a certain way. I’m engrossed in what I’m doing but not thinking about the external stuff that’s swirling around. I let my intention of calming my mind consume me. That 60 or 90 minute yoga class is my refuge from my stress. This takes practice and isn’t always easy to do, but I love the feeling when I allow my intention to absorb fully into me.

1. Meditate to create an intention. Meditation is one of the greatest ways to incorporate an intention into your life. If you take five minutes and sit, set an intention. “I’m going to sit for five minutes.” Boom. Done. Intention has been set. Or try, “My intention is to listen to my breath.”   “My intention is for peace for myself and my family.” “My intention is to notice the beauty around me today.” Don’t get attached to any outcome, if the day goes to hell and it’s a bad day, don’t give up. Start again tomorrow with a fresh new intention.

1. Come back to your intention throughout the day. Whatever objective you set for yourself, see if you can bring your mind back to it throughout the day. Remember what your intentions were at the start of your day and see if there is something you need to change or alter to keep that intention fully present throughout the day.

Creating intention for your life is practice, just like anything. But it can help you feel calmer and more focused during the day. It can help you live more fully and be more present in life. This doesn’t just apply to yoga or meditation; it can be incorporated in all areas of your life.

Start setting intentions for yourself, and see how your day changes for the better!

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Meditation Monday

Listen as I guide you through a short meditation practice.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

When times are difficult it’s hard to see past what is so prevalent in our lives. When we wake up thinking about what is troubling us, and when it doesn’t leave our thoughts so much so that we even dream about it, it can feel as if we are drowning in whatever is happening. During these times we can’t seem to see a way out of it.

Spending time with family for the holidays made me think about where I was a year ago with my life and what the past year has brought me. I thought a lot about my sister-in-law who has endured one of the most trying times of her life.

With her permission I’m sharing some of her story. I feel it shows how when we are drowning in a difficult time, we can pull ourselves out of whatever we’re stuck in, without even realizing that is what we are doing.

My brother Darwin was killed in a motorcycle accident in October of 2014. My brother and his wife, Becky had been married just shy of three years. The love between Darwin and Becky was not anything I had seen before. They both had difficult pasts and when they came together they made each other stronger.

After Darwin died, Becky was inconsolable and would call my mother or myself uncontrollably crying. It was a difficult time for all of us, but I was most worried about Becky. The life they had planned was forever changed and Becky didn’t know how to go on living without Darwin.

Christmas 2014 was especially difficult because it was the first Christmas without him and it was just a few months after the accident. I remember being at Becky’s house and seeing the multitude of photos of Darwin and Becky. Darwin with my parents, a few photos of Darwin and myself. It was tough. Becky looked exhausted and always talked about him and how much she missed him.

Over the last year I’ve seen Becky’s Facebook posts change. They went from sorrow and not being able to pull herself off the floor crying, to finding pleasure and joy in life. She started volunteering at a women’s shelter for women who have experienced tragedy, homelessness, addiction and abuse.

Becky found as she started to help other women, she found a purpose. She found she was able to escape her sorrow by helping others. She still misses Darwin immensely and always will. But seeing her go from such grief to helping others has been amazing to witness.

Another thing Becky did was she joined a grief group at her church, which I thought was a great idea. She went for about six months, and the next time we talked about it, she said she didn’t want to go anymore because it just made her sad. She felt she got what she needed from it and decided to move on. I told her it was great that she went and had that experience, but that she didn’t need to bring up the grief when she has grown past it.

I believe this is such a great example how we can feel as though we are drowning in something.   For Becky it was grief. She took a chance and volunteered not knowing what it would bring her, if anything, and she found a purpose outside of herself. She found she had a lot to give to others and that people needed her.

Becky will always love and miss Darwin. I’m so happy for her that she has found a way to make a difference in others when just one year ago, she felt she didn’t have a purpose for herself.

Is there a way that you can make a difference? Do you feel you are stuck in something and can’t see a way out? Try to find a purpose outside of yourself and see if there can be a shift in your life. I know it’s possible because I’ve seen it happen.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a short meditation practice. 

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.  Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Vulnerability can be a tricky word for some people. When you mention the act of being vulnerable, sometimes the initial reaction is that it means weakness. However, it’s actually the opposite. So why is it important to talk about vulnerability?

We all have what’s called our ego. It’s this persona of who we are that we project out into the world, and we often use the ego to face the day to day challenges of life. I think of the ego as the person you meet for the first time at dinner parties; they talk about their job, their family and what they have accomplished in their life. The ego isn’t a bad thing, but it’s important to learn how to put the ego aside and be vulnerable.

In the early 90’s when I was a young police officer, I was asked to attend a weeklong camp where they brought in underprivileged youth. These were young teenagers who lived in poor neighborhoods, and didn’t have the best upbringing. For the whole week the other officers and I acted as camp counselors but never told the juveniles that we were police officers. We interacted with them daily, ate together, and slept in the same dorms together.

As the week went on, you could see the kids relax, and some of them would start to let their guard down and share about their lives. Some of these teenagers had seen their friends shot right in front of them. Some had seen their mothers beaten by their boyfriends, and some had been abused both physically and sexually.

At the end of the week it was revealed that the camp counselors were all police officers. Their reactions were not all of joy. Some of the juveniles who I had connected with were overcome with surprise, and there were hugs and tears between us. My heart broke for them and what they had gone through, but we had learned about each other as people, not as a troubled teenager and a police officer. We all realized that the other was doing the best they could do, and all of us experienced different levels of vulnerability that week.

I wanted to share four tips that can help us all to be a little more vulnerable.

1. Being Vulnerable takes courage. It’s not easy to let someone see not just the good in you, but also the bad and the really ugly parts of who you are. Allowing someone to see ALL of you takes courage.

1. Vulnerability allows for growth. Being vulnerable allows you to ask for what you want out of life. Peeling away the layers of the ego to reveal who you truly are allows for growth to occur. It makes you look at your life, where you are, what you want and how you’re going to get there.

1. Learn to love yourself first. Learn to love all of you, even the parts you don’t like. If you can begin by loving and accepting yourself, then when there’s rejection and you’ve opened yourself up to vulnerability, you know deep down that you are okay because you are okay with you. External acceptance is always nice, but not necessary because you’ve learned to love yourself first.

1. Being vulnerable creates deep connection. If you want to have a deeper relationship with your spouse, children, friends, learn to be vulnerable. Allow those closest to you see the real you. They will love you for it, and you will create a deeper bond with those who you allow to see you.

Being vulnerable is important for our growth in relationships and friendships. When we can let someone see all the good and also all the bad of who we are, we are creating bonds with people that can last a lifetime.

Allow vulnerability into your life and don’t be afraid to peel back the layers of the ego to create a deeper connection with those you love.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.