Live With Meaning Podcast

How you prepare yourself for going to sleep is just as important as how you get ready for your day. Establishing a routine in the evening is a great way to start to get better sleep, feel better in the morning, and feel like you had a good nights rest. Are you tired of waking up and feeling tired? You lay there frustrated when you look at the clock and realize you only had four hours of sleep.

There are a lot of factors that can affect your sleep, but having a routine in place in the evening can help you get to bed easier and sleep better. What’s nice about an evening routine is it will help the mornings go smoother and you will feel better throughout the day.

Do you have an evening routine in place? If not, try some of these tips and see if they help set you up for a better nights sleep.

1. Sleep environment. Take a look at your bedroom. Is the room cluttered? Do you need to make the room darker so you can fall asleep earlier when the days are longer? What is the temperature of your room at night? Is it too cold or too hot? Create a good sleep environment for getting the best sleep possible.

1. Slow down the mind. What are you watching on television before you go to bed? Have you watched something right before bed and then you have a dream about it? What are you taking in before you are trying to go to sleep? Try turning off the electronics and try journaling or reading before bed instead. Writing down how your day went and what maybe you could have done different prepares you for the next day. Thinking back on a conversation you had, and how there may have been something different you could have said is a great way to clear the mind, put it on paper, and let it go.

1. Establish a set time to go to bed. Most of us wake up around the same time on the days we work. Do you go to bed at the same time every night? With kids’ schedules and other activities in the evening, the schedule will vary sometimes. Try to establish a schedule when you start to get ready for bed. Do all the little things you need to do so that you can allow time to get into bed, and your body can feel at rest and you can fall asleep.

1. Get ready for the next day. We think only small children need routines. We set out their clothes, get their lunches ready for the next day, but we need routines too. Figure out what you are going to wear the next day, pack your lunch so it’s ready in the refrigerator; you don’t have to think about it, it’s already done. Set things out at night so the morning is less stressful.

1. Try some natural remedies. No matter what people do they have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, have restless leg syndrome, etc. There are a lot of different reasons why you’re not sleeping well. Check with your doctor, do your own research, ask questions.

You are in charge of your health and your environment. Make it the best it can be. By implementing a routine you can get to sleep easier, sleep better and wake up feeling refreshed.

Are you someone who sets your alarm clock for the very last minute so you can get up and rush to get ready for work? By the time you drop off the kids, and get to work, you’re a bundle of nerves, you’re stressed out, and you think this is the normal way of life.

It doesn’t have to be. One of the greatest things you can do for yourself and your loved ones - so that you can have some sanity in your life - is to establish a morning routine.

One of the most common traits of highly successful people is their morning routine. It is a ritual, and is not up for negotiation. It happens because it is how they start their day off on the right foot. I wanted to cover some of the key points of how to create a successful morning routine.

1. When you wake up, take a moment and think of what you are grateful for. It only takes a minute, but thinking about what you are grateful for can set the entire mood for your day. If you wake up and you’re dreading the day, you are setting yourself up for a day that is filled with dread, doubt, and negativity. Why not set yourself up for having a great day!

1. Meditate. I’ve said it before and I will say it again and again, this doesn’t require anything special. You just need to close your eyes and listen to your breath. You can sit up in bed and close your eyes for just five minutes. I know that if I get out of bed, turn on my laptop or start breakfast, I have a harder time getting back to where I can sit for a few minutes to meditate. Get out of bed and sit next to your bed and close your eyes. Maybe start with the thoughts of what you are grateful for and then slow the breath, listen to your heartbeat, feel the pulse in your fingertips. Just sit.

1. Make a healthy breakfast. Wake up a few minutes earlier if you have to, but make a breakfast that nourishes your body. A donut doesn’t count! If you start the day off with something healthy you are more likely to eat better throughout the day and you will feel better for nourishing your body the right way.

1. Move your body. Take a walk, run, unroll the yoga mat, or do some stretches. Move your body in a way that feels good to you. If you exercise first thing in the morning you are more likely to stick to an exercise routine. I know it can be difficult to find the time, but find it. When I had to be at work at 6 am, I was at the gym at 4 am and I worked out for 1 hour. Showered there and went to work. It takes planning in the evening, I had to go to bed early, but I felt better during the day and it was my routine.

1. Get organized. If your morning is going to run smoothly, you need to be organized. If you have kids that you need to get out the door, and get yourself ready in the process, it takes some organization on your part. You can’t be looking for your car keys in the morning and think you will get out the door without some stress.

Think about what your mornings look like right now. Do you get up at the same time every day? Do you wake up and feel rushed and stressed? When was the last time you weren’t racing out the door?

Try some of these and see if your mornings run more smoothly and you feel better during the day.

Are we making our lives harder than it has to be? Remember when we thought life was easy and carefree? Before the worries of a job, money, mortgage, spouse, kids…the list goes on. Remember the good ‘ol days? We were confident in our decisions and hopeful for the future.

As we grew older, outside influences started to change us. Maybe it was the boss who you wanted to please so badly you were willing to work 60 hours a week. Giving up time with family and friends, and missing time doing the things that you loved to do. What did you gain? A promotion? More money?

But what did you gain PERSONALLY? Are you now 50 pounds overweight? Is your family was upset with you because you haven’t taken time for them? When was the last time you did something for yourself? Can you even remember?

Over time you started to lose touch with who you were and what you wanted. Maybe once you had achieved what you thought you wanted, you looked around and didn’t like who you had become.

Here are five common mistakes, and how you can start to fix them today.

You’re letting loss and mistakes devour you.

Life is full of loss; A failed relationship, the death of a loved one. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to forgive yourself? The job you didn’t get, the promotion you feel you let slip through your fingers…you can’t get to the other side and feel happiness if you don’t feel the loss. Feel it, stop pushing it away and closing the door on it. You need to face it, know that it is in the past and it can’t be changed. Open a new door to happiness.

You’re stuck on your past mistakes.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the gift of forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Examine the situation and pull out the lesson; things don’t happen without a reason, there’s a lesson in there, find it. Learn from it. Forgive yourself for your actions or the actions of others. If there’s a situation and every time you think about it there’s a heaviness or sorrow surrounding it, you have to learn to let the past be in the past, and forgiveness is the path that will get you there.

You’ve lost sight of your own goals.

Are you living up to someone else’s expectations? Have you lost sight of what you truly want for your life? Do other people make you feel guilty for how you live your life? Sometimes we get lost in trying to live up to someone else’s expectations and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it, what are your goals, and are you doing something daily to achieve those goals? People will come and go in your life, but at the end of the day you have to be able to live with you.

You assign negative intent to people’s actions.

Your friend never texted you back. Another driver cuts you off. A co-worker goes to lunch without asking you to join them. You only get 2 likes on your Facebook post. You can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis. You assign negative intent to people’s innocent actions. You take it as a slap in the face, when that was never the intent. Stop taking things so personally. Instead, look for the good in people and remember that we are not perfect human beings.

You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out.

Do what is right, not what is easy. Why? Because YOU will know. Do the right thing.

Now is a great time to reflect back on the year and see how you made your life harder than it needed to be. Establish goals for next year to make your life better.

Each and every one of us is born with a unique gift. We are here to do something in this life. But how do you find what you are meant to do?

Do you know what makes your heart sing?

A good way to find what makes your heart sing, is what do you do when no one is expecting anything from you? Think about the times when you felt the most fulfilled

Is the job you go to day in and day out sucking the life out of you? Do you dread doing it but you say to yourself that you have to do it? You have to pay the mortgage, the car payment, but what if you didn't have those things, what would you do that fulfills you.

What are you willing to give up to do what you love. Can you move to a smaller place, something that isn't so expensive? Buy a cheaper car? Find a roommate to help with the expenses? What are you willing to give up and change to be able to do what you love.

The problem is we have been trained that to be happy we need to have the big house, the nice car, expensive clothes and a ridiculously expensive purse to show we are successful and happy. The worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to what other people have. No one has to live with you, but you. If you aren't doing what you love, it will show.

When you are on your deathbed, the house, cars, the "things" we think we have needed during our life do not matter. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be in a place where you know that you lived your life doing what you loved. You did what made your heart sing.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Buddha

Forgiveness is one of those tricky things that can eat away at us if we don’t address it. Allowing forgiveness requires introspection, to look at the situation objectively and to accept your own responsibility. This can be very difficult. We all like to think we are right and the other person is wrong. But maybe, just maybe you can let go of some things that you’re hanging onto and can free yourself from a bad situation.

Forgiveness can be very healing for a past event. It doesn’t excuse any behavior on either part, but it allows a place where you can look at it differently. Try some of these tips and see if you can allow forgiveness to heal your thoughts and ideas around a situation. You never know what you will learn about yourself when you allow forgiveness to enter.

1. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. Stop expecting other people to change just because you want a different reaction or response from them. You are only in control of you. Stop thinking, “If only they would…fill in the blank.” If only they would change? If only they would say…? The act of forgiveness is for you and you alone.

1. See if you can find something positive from the situation. Instead of replaying what happened, what was said, how you felt – focus on what positive experience you can take from the situation. What did you learn? How can you think about the experience different? There is always a lesson from any situation. What can you take away from the event and make it positive?

1. Accept the past for what it is. The past is just that, the past. It’s over, done, finito. Stop getting stuck in the past. Without forgiveness you are giving the other person power of you. No one should be able to hijack your feelings and emotions. With forgiveness you can move past the hurt feelings and stop giving power to the situation. You take back control of the situation by allowing forgiveness to take place.

1. Sometimes good people make bad choices. We are all human and we cannot expect perfection in others or ourselves. Things are said, feelings are hurt, and things are said we can never take back. The other person can never take back what he or she said. This doesn’t make you or the other person bad people. We cannot expect perfection in any situation.

1. Focus on what you can do now. Do you find yourself continuing to think about the situation or the person? You are not owed anything. You can’t think the only way I am ever going to feel better about this is when I get an apology from that person. YOU have to turn your thoughts towards forgiveness and peace around a situation. YOU have the power to create positive thoughts.

Forgiveness does not come easy for me with some past situations. I’ve learned to forgive myself and forgive others that have harmed me. It doesn’t mean I want to sit down in the same room with the person and have a heart to heart conversation. I don’t have to ever see the person again, or speak to them again. Forgiving others has given me my power back and it gives me a sense of freedom from the situation.

I hope these help in some way to start to work towards forgiveness for yourself and others. Create a new future for yourself without hanging onto old baggage that no longer serves you.

If you could take all the thoughts you have in one day and have them replayed for you, what would you hear? Do you talk down to yourself? Do you talk down to others? Do you limit yourself by what you say?

The book ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz has four agreements that people need to make with themselves. The first one is ‘Be Impeccable With Your Word.’ It’s not just being honest and doing what you say you are going to do, but be impeccable with your word to yourself.

When you have a bad day or an argument, are you telling yourself negative things? “It’s my fault.” “I’m not that smart.” The list is endless and I’m sure we all have said some things to ourselves that if we heard them said out loud, we would be appalled and embarrassed.

So how do we start to change what we think and say? How do we change our self-talk? Here are some tips that I hope can be helpful as we all start to be more impeccable with our word.

1. You are enough. You need to believe, to your core, that you are enough. No one needs to complete you. You have the strength to get through this life, one step at a time. Everyday wake up with a fire in your belly to make this life the very best it can be.

1. Surround yourself with good people. Is there someone in your life that drains the energy right out of you? You need to surround yourself with people that uplift you and make you feel good about life. If you feel good about life, you will attract the right people. If you are negative and depressed, that’s exactly who will be drawn into your life. If you need to say goodbye to someone, do it.

1. Be honest about what you want. You have to be honest about what you want for your life. If something isn’t working, you aren’t speaking up for yourself, or if you’re allowing someone to bring you down, you need to be honest with yourself. You need to have those hard conversations and be willing to speak up for yourself.

1. If only I was stronger, smarter, more attractive. This is a big one for most people. We tell ourselves limiting thoughts and beliefs. “I will never get that job, because I’m not smart enough.” “I wish I was as beautiful as so-and-so.” “I’m just not strong enough to be on my own.” Any of this sounds familiar? It takes a lot of work to be able to look in the mirror and accept yourself right where you are in this exact moment. Love yourself today, not when you lose 10 pounds, but as you are right now.

You have this one life, start living it today. Start to be impeccable with your word to yourself and see how things shift in your life. Be fully aware what you are saying to yourself in different situations. See if you can catch the harmful words - notice it – and start to think differently.

We all have them – failures – big or small, we have all experienced them. Some were life changing and you consider them huge failures in your life, maybe you’re even embarrassed by them and don’t like to talk about it.

What if we changed that internal dialogue about these missteps and looked at them as lessons?

Think about the situation and ask yourself, “What did I learn?” There’s a lesson in everything we do. Sometimes we miss the lesson and don’t want to think about it, so we move past it. If this is considered a failure in your life, why not look at it differently and see if you can learn from it?

We don’t like to fail. It’s a hard pill to swallow when we fail at something. We want to be successful and a failure means defeat, something went wrong. No one wants to come home and say they lost their job, or were fired. It’s not a time to break out the champagne; it feels horrible.

The other side of the failure coin is success. The definition of failure is ‘lack of success.’ Success is literally on the other side of the coin. Success is that close, even though it may feel a million miles away. You just have to realize it’s attainable after a failure.

How failures can be turned into lessons. Can you step back from the failure and think, “What did I learn from this?” Not, “My boss is a jerk.” Really look at the situation objectively and see if there were signs you missed that something was going to happen; were you part of the problem?

Take responsibility for your own part in the situation. We always want to blame other people and put the blame on someone else when things fall apart. But what responsibility do you have in the situation that failed? How were you showing up? How was your attitude.

Sometimes things are just meant to fail.  I’ve heard it countless times, “If such-and-such didn’t fail, I never would be in this great place I’m at now in my life.” Those failures led to great things.

Take the time and think about those defeats in your life and find the lessons. They are there, I promise. What can you take from the situation and learn from it. How can you make sure going forward that you don’t repeat the same mistake again and end up with another repeated failure? Self-examination is difficult but if we are all going to grow and learn, it’s necessary.

What is holding you back from finding the relationship that fills your heart and soul?

From losing the weight you’ve been trying to lose for years?

From achieving your career goals?

From living the most fulfilled life possible?

Identifying a core limiting belief can sometimes be difficult because it requires us to be completely honest with how we are feeling and why. It can feel like an unveiling to a part of yourself that you keep hidden. It can be stripping away parts of yourself to get to the core of some things that are holding you back.

So think for a moment, what is holding me back? What is the belief behind it? I’m not good enough, I’m not strong enough, I can’t do it, I need more education, I need more money, fill in the blank. Really think about it, what is the belief behind it?

Now I want you to think about that belief, where do you feel it in the body. Feel whatever story comes with that belief, and just notice if there is any sensation in the body. It’s best to do this in a place where you can close your eyes for a moment, turn off any noise, think about the belief and listen to the body. Maybe there’s a tightening in the chest, a tingling in the feet, sensation in the hands, a constriction in the throat. It might be subtle and it might be strong. Just notice the sensation.

Now ask yourself, what is really the truth? Bring your attention to your heart and ask, “What is the truth about this belief? Don’t try to rationalize it, create a story or an answer, let the question sit as you focus on your heart. Notice any sensations, notice any changes in the body. Notice if the feeling you had earlier in the body lessens, just listen.

After taking some time to do this, go back to that limiting belief and notice if it feels different in the body. Notice if it has changed.

Exploring what is holding you back can be frightening because sometimes we aren’t ready for the answer that may come up. But what a wonderful gift to yourself that you can take a thought that is limiting, or a belief that is holding you back and you can change it.

How To Find A Little More Happiness

Do you ever find yourself comparing what someone else has, to what you have? A nicer car? Bigger house? Designer clothes?

Is life perfect? No, but let’s stop comparing, judging, blaming and criticizing others and find ways to feel happy with what we have. I can guarantee there are plenty of people who would give anything to have even half of what you currently have. This isn’t just about physical possessions, but the things you can’t buy. Your family, your friends, your self-worth, your happiness.

So I encourage you to try some or all of these little ways to find a little more happiness in your life.

ŸAccept everything that you are. Stop wasting time comparing yourself to others. This is such an energy drain thinking you are not enough or someone is better than you. Accept yourself just as you are.

ŸLook for the lessons. Appreciate the lessons in life. The good and the bad all have lessons in them. Focus on what you gained from these lessons.

ŸSet a good example. What if you said, “I’m not going to gossip about so-and-so anymore.” Lead by example and look for the good in people.

ŸAppreciate each and every day. Maybe today wasn’t how you wanted it to turn out, but tomorrow you can start again, fresh and new.

ŸDo what you can right now. Stop procrastinating, do what you can today. One small step is better than nothing at all.

ŸRealize you are great. You do not need to be the cream of the crop to be great. Pick yourself up when you fall and know that you are great and worthy of all that life has to offer.

ŸForgive. I know this one is hard, but forgive for you and for the other person. You both deserve to let it go and move on.

What are you going to do to feel happier? Is there anything you would add to this? Anything you already do that brings you happiness?

My happiness in life has increased greatly after I consciously looked at each of these and implemented them into my life, to the point that they have become how I live. This is not over night, but a little bit each day, makes a tremendous difference. Choose what resonates with you most right now, and keep that as today’s intention. Your life is worth it and so are you!

How To Become More Mindful

Be in the moment with one task. Instead of moving from one task to another, checking your email, checking your phone, the television is on, and dividing your attention in five different directions - focus on one thing at a time. The task you are working on gets 100 % of your attention. You are focusing on the present moment.

Being mindful is observing your thoughts without judgment. When things are good or bad, taking a moment and becoming aware of the thoughts. Try to separate the emotional attachment to the thought.

A couple ways to practice being more mindful:

When walking, think only about walking. Feel one foot move and then the other. Feel the surface you are walking on. Notice how your body feels to be moving.

Notice your breath in different situations throughout the day, especially when something feels stressful or intense. Listen and feel your breath, noticing, not trying to change anything.

Bring attention to physical sensations. Not just when you burn your hand or feel hot or cold. Physically what do you feel? What does it feel like when water hits your skin in the shower? What does your body feel like when sitting in a chair? What body sensations do you feel when you lay down?

A fun way to practice mindfulness is to use your senses when eating. Take a grape, feel it in your hand. What does it feel like to hold the grape? Smell the grape, what do you smell? Taste the grape, what does it feel like in your mouth? What would it feel like if you ate every meal with such attention.

Close your eyes and do a body scan. Feel your eyes, think only about your eyes and notice any sensations. Then feel your mouth and do the same thing as you move from one area of the body to the next. You are bringing attention to the areas of the body and noticing the sensations without trying to change anything. It’s bringing awareness into the body.

Studies have shown there are physical, psychological and social benefits by practicing mindfulness.

Benefits of being more mindful:

Helps to lessen the symptoms of depression

Less reactive in stressful situations

Less likely to take things personally and ruminate over a situation.

Improves our well being and feeling satisfied with our life.

Helps to relieve stress.

Can help improve your sleep