Live With Meaning Podcast

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on Body Sensations using tension.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

I believe we can all relate to the feeling of getting excited about something and the, "I'm going to do this!" attitude, and then after some time it turns to, "Meh, I'm over it."

How many projects have we started and then stopped mid-way? Are short-term goals better for you, while looking at the long-term goals is difficult? I fall into the category of liking short-term goals. I was never good at answering the question, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" A lot of things can happen in five years, and I'm just trying to figure out the next six months.

Keeping ourselves motivated in all areas of life, takes time and attention. When we start something that is going to take some time to grow and nurture, it's easy to get sidetracked. The big picture of how it will feel when that goal is accomplished can get lost over time.

Here are some ideas for staying motivated when you want to throw in the towel.

1. What is your "Why?" It's important to be clear why you wanted to do this in the first place. What were you hoping to accomplish when you started something? When goals get sidetracked, or if it's not going according to your plan, ask yourself, "Why did I start this?" Knowing your "why" behind what you are doing will keep you motivated and moving towards your goal.

1. Make a plan. If you created a plan at the start of your goal, pull it out and re-examine it. Does the timeline of accomplishing this plan need to be changed? If you don't have a plan, make one. It's important to have clear steps to stay motivated. If this is a long-term plan, set up smaller goals along the way. There needs to be milestones, so the big picture doesn't stay too large and feel unattainable.

1. Work towards your goal every day. If you want to be a better writer, you need to write every day. If you're working towards your degree or a certification, don’t let a day go by that isn’t dedicated to attaining it. I work on my blog and podcast every day. How can I make it better, what needs to get accomplished today, what articles do I need to read that I can implement into making my business better? If you only have 1 hour to put towards your goal, do that. Something is better than nothing.

1. Have people to lean on. To stay motivated, you need to have individuals who have your back and will motivate you when you want to quit or walk away from something. I've learned over time who has my back and who doesn't. It doesn't mean those people are not in my life, it means they are not my motivators. There's nothing wrong with that, but know who in your life is going to give you the boost you need when you need it.

1. Recognize when progress is being made towards your goal. Don't discount when there is progress towards your goal. You may not have met the goal yet, but what type of progress are you making? Is some part of your plan getting easier to do? Are you grasping an idea or concept that you struggled with when you started on this path? Give yourself credit when you are sticking to it and moving in the right direction.

Staying motivated takes work, but with the right plan and goals in place, you can get there. It may take months or even years, but in the end, it will be worth it. Remember why you started this, and why you want this to be a goal in your life. Keep pushing forward and you will get there!

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on Breath and Images.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

In the past month, I’ve had to examine the topic of, “Teaching people how to treat you.” I’ve had to look at what I’m letting into my life, and how I’m allowing myself to be treated.

How we are being treated applies to our personal relationships with those closest to us, our co-workers, and even the stranger on the street.

We need to look at how we carry ourselves in our day-to-day lives, and what kind of energy we project to others. If we present ourselves with confidence, we will be treated with respect in return. If we project shyness or victimization, the energy we receive in from others will most likely not be that of respect and courtesy.

What we put out there into the world is what we get in return. The value we place on ourselves will determine the value in which others see in us, and we cannot expect to be held in high regard if we do not see ourselves as worthy. If you feel you are being treated badly, or are often disrespected by others, maybe it’s time to bring awareness to what message you are putting out into the world.

Examine the value you place on yourself in your relationship with your spouse, friends, or family. Is there assurance and boldness in how you are present and involved in these relationships? Or are you a victim and not questioning the choices that other people are making for you. Are you living your life the way you want to live it?

Here are some tips on how to treat yourself better, so those around you will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

1. 1. You need to love yourself. You might think this is simple, but this can be a difficult one. We need to learn to love and accept ourselves; the good and bad parts of ourselves if we want others to love us for who we really are. We can't have a genuine, whole relationship with anyone if we only want to show the good parts of ourselves. We need to love and accept all the parts of us−the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of ourselves−for us to get love in return.  

1. Know your boundaries. Know what you will and will not accept, and stand up for yourself. I know there are certain behaviors I don’t like, and when I experience these behaviors from those around me, I have to address it. If I am silent and allow it (but cringing on the inside), I’m not being true to myself. When we allow a behavior that is bothering us to continue, we are saying to others (and ourselves) that it’s okay. We need to be able to speak up for ourselves, and not be afraid of the consequences of doing so. When we remain silent, we are allowing ourselves to be victims of our surroundings, and are giving others the permission to behave unacceptably in our presence. More importantly than that, we are giving ourselves permission to be disrespected. If something doesn’t sit right with you, speak up.

1. Are you in a relationship or job that is wrecking your soul? We've all heard the many excuses why someone (maybe even you) would stay in a bad relationship or work at a job they dread. What excuses do you make for why you continue a bad relationship? I've been in bad relationships, and looking back now, I remember my rationalization and why I felt I needed to stay. I know now that those excuses were not valid, and that I had the choice to change how I was allowing myself to be treated. If you job is sucking the life out of you, take a look at how you are being treated. Are you allowing yourself to be disrespected by people at work? Are you taking abuse from your boss because you are afraid of the consequences for standing up for yourself? We all have a choice how we are treated; we need to find our voice and speak up.

1. What we allow is what will continue. If we allow ourselves to be mistreated, not valued, and stepped on, that is what will continue. Period. We cannot make excuses and justify bad behavior, either for ourselves or for others.

We teach people how to treat us by our presence, reactions, and ability to speak up. We need to find our voice when we feel something isn't quite right, if it made us feel bad, or if it was just down right wrong. When we are able to understand our worth, and put that out into the world, only then will we get what we deserve.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on Awareness.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Negativity is not only a sneaky habit that can slowly penetrate our lives and wreak havoc on our happiness, but we tend to let it stay a little longer than it should. I know I've had times in my life when I was negative about the people I worked with, and the people I had to interact with every day. Negativity had taken a hold of me, and it took a long time for me to realize it.

In order to notice what we are feeling and how it affects our daily lives, we have to be aware of what we are doing and saying during every interaction and every encounter. Many of us are sleepwalking through our lives, and are unaware as to how we interact with ourselves and those around us. It’s easy to get complacent in our routine of work, taking care of the family, and the same old conversation we have day in and day out. But if we bring more awareness into how we interact with ourselves and those around us, we might notice some negative traits that we have unintentionally embraced. Oftentimes, this negativity hinders our happiness, and adversely impacts those around us.

Sometimes looking into the mirror of self-exposure can be a little intimidating. It can show us things about ourselves we don't like, but this can be a wonderful thing. This awareness helps us to grow and evolve, and when we notice a character flaw like a negative attitude, we can begin to understand how to change our thoughts, actions, and habits to become a better person.

Here are some tips to help free you from negativity:

1. Listen to your self-talk. What do you say to yourself internally? We all have an inner voice that leads us; it tells us what feels great and what feels lousy. Does that inner voice have a negative tone to it? Are we looking at the world from a negative angle? Notice that self-talk and change that inner voice to a more positive direction.

1. Who is in your inner circle? The people who are closest to you say a lot about who you are. Change who you bring into your inner circle and you will notice how you talk and think differently. If you are around positive, uplifting people, you will most likely take on some of those traits. On the other hand, if you have negative people in your life, you will have more of those traits. Look at your inner circle and choose wisely.

1. Every experience is an important lesson. Just because something failed, or didn't turn out how you wanted it to, doesn't mean that it will never work out. For example, if a marriage failed, it doesn’t mean that marriage is off the table for good and will never work out. Every failure is a lesson; but the key here is to actually learn the lesson. If you are making the same mistakes over and over again, than you might want to reexamine what you should be doing differently. However, if you have the awareness and mindfulness to take a lesson away from every failure, then you can guarantee a better outcome the next time around.

1. Know that you will never be happy if you focus on the negative. We will find whatever it is we seek; and if our habit is to look for the negative in things, we will continually have negative experiences. But if we train ourselves to look for the good aspects, we will not only attract more positive experiences, but we will be able to find the positive in challenging situations. Only when you can train yourself to recognize the positive during moments of adversity, you will be able to learn and grow from your mistakes. But if you are only able to point out the negative, you put yourself in the position of a victim, and will continue making the same mistakes over and over again. When you realize that life doesn’t happen to you, you put yourself in the position of power to make changes for the better.

Think about what is the biggest source of negativity in your life. Consider what you can do to make changes around it. Realize how your life will be better and happier if you can implement some changes. The work is worth it to have the best life possible!

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on sensations in the body.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.  Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Driving in Northern California has tested my patience more than a few times.  Going the short distance to Costco in the middle of the day on a Tuesday shouldn't be an hour commute, but due to traffic and other hold-ups, sometimes it is.  The other day I caught myself waving my hands and getting upset when a large truck cut in front of me.  I took a deep breath and thought, "We're all doing the best we can, and I will get there when I get there."  

There are things in life that are out of our control, and I see people lose their s*** while driving, waiting for a table at a restaurant, or trying to get to Costco on a Tuesday.

I laughed at myself and thought of the phrase, "Patience is a virtue." There was nothing virtuous about my reaction that day, but it made me think about how we can bring a little more patience into our lives, and the benefits of keeping our composure in situations we find ourselves in on a daily basis.

Here are some tips and benefits of finding a little more patience.

1.  Less stress.  We can only control what we are doing and how we react to situations.  We tend to get upset when someone doesn't do what we want them to. Learning to recognize that we can't control another human being will be less stress on you.  You can give all the advice and counseling in the world, but what someone does with it, is up to them.  We need to keep our stress level in check for our own health and well-being.

2.  Learn to take a breath.  Take that pause, that breath, before you respond to something that is upsetting.  We may find ourselves biting someone's head off, but if we had just taken a breath, we might have phrased our disappointment a little differently.  We can save ourselves from having to apologize later if we take a moment and think before we speak.

3.  Life is not instant gratification.  We expect things in life to happen now, this minute, this instant.  We want love now, we want our promotion, we want things to work out today.  What we are striving for in our lives, takes time.  We can get impatient, and when it doesn't happen in our timeline, we give up.  What if you had given it another month?  What if you kept working at it a little longer?  Would it have turned out as you had hoped?

4.  We are all doing the best we can.  Now some might argue that the person you are angry at isn't doing the best they can.  We cannot control another person; we can't make them more motivated, more interested in their job, more loving, fill in the blank.  In this moment, do the best you can do, and hopefully, those around you will do the same.

Finding a little more patience can help us be more in the present moment, not so reactionary and hopefully less stressed.  I'm a work in progress just like everyone else, and knowing that patience takes practice allows me to recognize when I'm waving my hands at a truck driver, that I'm doing the best I can at that moment, take a breath and be a little more patient.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information.  Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.

Listen as I guide you through a meditation practice on beliefs.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher

Have you ever been in a bad mood and someone cheery and smiley tells you "everything will be okay"? Am I the only one that sometimes wants to scream at this person?

I am usually a happy, even-keel person. That wasn't always the case, but I've learned how to be more like my father and let things go. My whole platform for my blog and podcast is to bring a little more happiness to your life.

I've found that there are times in our lives-and hopefully it's only for short periods of time-that we are simply not doing okay. We are not ready for someone to tell us that everything will work out, because we don't believe it in that moment.

Most of us have experienced some difficulties in our lives, and it's never a good idea to compare your pain to others’. Whether you are experiencing pain now, or are reflecting on challenges in the past, it’s okay to not be okay.

Here are some tips to be okay with not being okay, and how you can help someone who is currently struggling.

1. You need to completely acknowledge and feel the emotions that are coming up. If you are sad, you need to feel your sadness. If there is pain, recognize it. We tend to want to push away bad feelings, but the more we push something away, the stronger it will get. Be able to sit with the emotion you are feeling; where do you feel it in your body? Are there any physical pains associated with this emotion? Any beliefs? The more honest we can be with what we are feeling, the sooner we can get through it.

1. You are not weak or wrong for what you are feeling. Have you ever been told that you just need to get over it? That’s not exactly what you want to hear when you're feeling an emotion that feels strong and hold power over you. You are where you are in that moment for a reason. Don't blame yourself, but also acknowledge whether you are placing blame where it doesn’t belong. We cannot control what other’s do, but we can control how we react to our emotions. We have the power to move past something when we are ready to do so, but it doesn't make you weak if you need to sit with your emotions for a while.

1. Recognize when you are complaining and stop. We can all identify with having someone in our lives that seems to complain every time you see them…none of us want to be that person. Be aware of what is coming out of your mouth when you are on the phone with a friend, or even talking with your co-workers. If you catch yourself complaining, change your internal dialogue. If you aren’t looking for a solution, you are part of the problem. Surround yourself with people who don’t complain on a regular basis, and if you do find yourself in a situation where someone is complaining, put a positive spin on the conversation and don’t feed into the complaining.

1. Know that everything you are feeling is a lesson to be learned. Every single experience, encounter with another person, and relationship we have in our lives teaches us something new. When we are feeling something bad and feel out of sorts, ask yourself how you can grow from the experience.

I know we all have times when life smacks us in the face, and in the moment it's difficult to realize that the painful experience won't last forever. Remember that we have the ability to write our life story; the bad times teach us so many valuable lessons about ourselves and what we are made of. If you know someone who is struggling with something, allow him or her to feel it, and give them the space to know that it's okay to not be okay in this moment.

Visit www.livewithmeaning.net for more information. Look for the Live With Meaning podcast on iTunes and Stitcher.