Bella discovers Jacob's furry secret. Then she throws herself off a cliff. Those things aren't connected, Bella just thought that would be a fun thing to do.

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Bella puts her best moves on Jacob. That means she nearly dies and he has to save her life. After that he starts avoiding her, and she comes to the only reasonable conclusion: he has joined a cult.

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Bella is despondent over her loss of Edward. She seems like she'll never be happy again, but then she encounters the combined effect of Motorcycles and Another Hot Guy.

• (00:14) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Bella and Edward are still madly in love, but a tragic paper cut incident at Bella's 18th birthday party tears them apart, presumably forever. Bella is very sad, and spends 4 months thinking about how sad she is.

• (00:13) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

We watched the Twilight movie! Sparkly sexless vampires in the Pacific Northwest.

• (00:14) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Bella is rescued from having to watch her boyfriend's pickup baseball game by having a killer vampire start hunting her. She flees back to Phoenix with Edward's family, but even they can't protect her from the biggest threat: her own decisions.

• (00:14) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Edward and Bella find some private time so he can show her his sparkle. Then she meets his family, in their bathroom-less, bedroom-less house. Then, for some reason, baseball.

• (00:13) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

In Port Angeles, Bella finds trouble but is saved by Edward. Romance blooms. Edward is worried about the extreme danger he poses to Bella, but he soon discovers that there is no level of danger that is too extreme for Bella.

• (00:13) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

That's right, we're reading the sexiest of sexless vampire books: Twilight! High-schooler Bella Swan arrives in gloomy Forks, WA. She doesn't like what she finds there, with the exception of the beautiful Edward Cullen, who seems to hate Bella as much as she hates Forks.

• (00:13) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.

Fiji gets out of the hospital (though Olivia does not), just in time for the Demon Sex Ritual.

• (00:13) - Intro

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Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw, licensed under CC-BY 3.0.