Stop the small talk. Chip shares how to move beyond logistics to have genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse starting today.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

• We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

1. Don’t buy the old lies*

• I am what I have: Possessions
• I am what I accomplish: Performance
• I am what others think of me: Popularity

2. Dress appropriately for your mate

1. A – AFFIRMATION
2. W – WARMTH
3. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

1. What are you concerned about?
2. What do you wish?
3. What are you willing to do?

*Discover Your True Self book and Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

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Do you find yourself living in a marriage full of unspoken tension? You’re polite and all, but there’s no honest sharing or compassion? In this final program of the series, Chip shares a tool that walks you step-by-step, through a communication process that’ll free you from the past, free you from the guilt, and free you from the history that’s holding your relationship hostage.

Three major reasons we have shame:

1. A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
2. Shame from things DONE to us.
3. Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

1. To HIDE.
2. To NUMB the pain.
3. To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

1. Jesus MEETS us where we are.
2. Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
3. Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

1. You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
2. EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
3. Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

• Phase 1: Forgive
• Phase 2: Forgiving
• Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

• Own your responsibility
• Confess: “I was wrong.”
• Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
• Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

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How do you feel when you’ve tried everything you know, and your attempts to show love to your spouse just don’t seem to be making any difference at all? Or maybe you’re on the flip-side and you’re waiting for the day when your spouse finally does something that makes you feel like they really care. In this program, Chip talks about how to love in a way that actually connects.

How do you keep love alive?

• Ephesians 5:25-33
• Very rarely, do we take how Jesus loves the Church and use that as our model for how we are to love one another in marriage.
• Your marriage is not just about your PERSONAL fulfillment. -John 13:1-17, 33-35
• Other than the Church of Jesus Christ, your relationship with your mate is the single most powerful testimony of the reality of God.

Principles:

1. Love is not a FEELING.
2. Love is SERVING. -Philippians 2:3-4
3. Love must be RECEIVED.
4. Love is UNCONDITIONAL.

Practical Implications:

1. Love is a CHOICE.
2. Love MEETS the NEEDS of the one loved.
3. Love requires extreme HUMILITY and SECURITY.

Learn the five languages of love

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

Two clues as to what your love language is:

• What bothers you the most?
• What do you ask for the most?

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In our pursuit of greatness in God's eyes, we tend to imagine following Jesus into ever-increasing, upward levels of maturity. In this program, Chip poses the fascinating premise that we actually follow Jesus, descending into greatness.

The quest for greatness = UNIVERSAL!

How do we measure greatness?

• Power = Who and what we control
• Possessions = What and how much we own
• Position = Our rank in the pecking order
• Prestige = Who and how many “look up” to us
• Productivity = What and how much we accomplish

How do we obtain greatness?

• Two pathways to greatness:

1. ASCENDING
2. DESCENDING

• True greatness defined = Philippians 2:3-4

How do you experience true greatness?

• One word = HUMILITY
• Humility is the channel through which the supernatural power of God’s love flows to heal our deepest hurts and restore our most important relationships.

Following Jesus into greatness - How to be authentically humble:

1. Humility flows from a specific “mindset”. -Philippians 2:5
2. We achieve true greatness when we embrace Christ’s “mindset” toward power and possessions. -Philippians 2:6
3. We become truly great when we embrace Christ’s “mindset” toward position and prestige. -Philippians 2:7
4. We become truly great when we embrace Christ’s “mindset” toward productivity. -Philippians 2:8
5. We experience the REWARD of true greatness when we follow Christ’s example of servanthood. -Philippians 2:9-11

Conclusion: God wants you to be great!

• The acid test of greatness = LOVE
• The road to greatness = HUMILITY
• The opportunity for greatness = SERVING

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How do you overcome the blues? Is there a way to take those dreary, depressing feelings and drive them from your mind and heart? Find out by joining Chip, as he teaches: “How to Overcome Boredom and the Blues.”

Introduction: “I was looking for life in all the wrong places.”

• What is boredom?
• Why are we bored?
• Why do “the blues” and boredom go hand-in-hand?
• Could “boredom” be a gift in disguise?

God’s answer to boredom = Authentic worship

What is Authentic Worship?

• Definition – Worship is our response to God for who He is and what He has done.
• Romans 12:1
• Summary – Worship is the complete and total giving of ourselves for that which we believe has ULTIMATE PURPOSE and will provide the GREATEST REWARD.

3 Principles for authentic worship:

1. Authentic worship can happen ANYWHERE. -John 4:21-22
2. Authentic worship flows from the HEART. -John 4:23
3. Authentic worship is rooted in an ACCURATE view of God and of ourselves. -John 4: 24

How can you experience greater intimacy in worship?

• Private worship = A.C.T.S.
• Public worship = The 3 “P’s”

Conclusion: Worship is not a service you come to or an activity you practice; worship is a life-focus, an expression of your deepest longings, passions, and devotion to whom or what you love the most.

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Newlyweds, a promotion, a new house, a baby - new things, new experiences are great aren’t they? But eventually the shine comes off and life falls into the same routine. Would you like to know how to keep the joy and the wonder in your work and relationships? Then join Chip as he shares how you can overcome personal stagnation.

All living things are either growing or dying.

• Growth is exciting!
• Growth comes from God!
• Growth is not automatic!
• Growth is difficult!
• Growth can be stymied, thwarted, stagnated, and retarded!

7 Keys to Personal Growth:

People Who Grow . . .

1. Live daily with the END IN VIEW. -Matt 5:48; Eph 4:13; Rom 8:29
2. Make a PERSONAL COMMITMENT to grow. - Luke 9:23-25; 1 Tim 4:7-8
3. Value PROCESS more than event. -Heb 5:11-14
4. Cultivate stimulating RELATIONSHIPS. -Heb 10:24-25; Pro 13:20
5. Choose to become progressive RISK-TAKERS. -Heb 11:6; Luke 6:38
6. Leverage life’s HARDSHIP. -James 1:2-4
7. Make time for SOLITUDE and SILENCE. -Mark 1:35

Developing a Plan for Your Personal Growth:

1. Make a commitment to grow TODAY!
2. PRIORITIZE the area of your growth!
3. Take one specific step this WEEK!

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For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the whole earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. The Lord wants to strongly support you and you want to have a heart that is completely His. The question is: how do you know if your heart is fully devoted to God? Curious? In this message, Chip gives us the answer.

Introduction: For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4

• David – An unlikely choice -1 Samuel 16
• David – Does the impossible -1 Samuel 17
• David – His life after breakthrough -1 Samuel 18-2 Samuel
• David – His legacy of breakthrough -1 Chronicles 29:10-13; Acts 13:22

How did David habitually unleash God’s power into impossible situations?

1. He is a BOLD risk-taker -Psalm 27:1-3
2. He is a PASSIONATE worshiper -Psalm 27:4-6
3. He is a WOUNDED healer -Psalm 27:7-10
4. He is a FIERCE warrior - Psalm 27:11-12
5. He is a FAITHFUL servant -Psalm 27:13-14

David understood the “Joseph Journey”

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God wants to do something great in your life. He wants to bless you; He wants to prosper you. But if that is going to occur, He needs something from you. Chip shows us what it is that unleashes God’s supernatural power in our lives.

The pathway to breakthrough involves:

1. The SOVEREIGN work of God in the world. -Job 42:2
2. The SOVEREIGN work of God in His people.
3. The SOVEREIGN work of God through His people.

Your personal pathway to breakthrough

• Action step: Repent and believe in the “Good News”. -Mark 1:15
• Action step: Make room in your life to receive God’s breakthrough! -James 4:7-10

Question: How do we repent and “make room” for God’s supernatural power and blessing?

Answer:

• SUBMIT therefore to God. -James 4:7a
• RESIST and the devil will FLEE. -James 4:7b
• DRAW NEAR to God and He will DRAW NEAR to you. -James 4:8a
• WASH your hands and PURIFY your heart. -James 4:8b
• GRIEVE MOURN WAIL change…. -James 4:9
• HUMBLE yourself, and He will EXALT you. -James 4:10

Assignment:

• Soak in God’s goodness: Prayerfully read through Psalm 23 each day this week.
• Make room for a breakthrough

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Frustrated by a lack of progress? Chip shares why dependency, not determination, is the key to the lasting change you desire.

Threefold practice for change:

1. Look BACK
2. Look UP
3. Look forward

Key areas to evaluate:

• Relationship with the Lord
• Most important relationships
• Physical health
• Other relationships
• Work / Career / Education
• Personal ministry
• Emotional health

Set spiritual priority -Mt. 6:33

• Get in shape spiritually

Don’t go it alone -Ec. 4:12b; Pro. 13:30

Abide in Christ -John 15:5

• Refuse to rely on sheer willpower, habits, and hacks.

Final thoughts

• Refuse to COMPARE yourself with other people. -2 Cor. 10:12
• Refuse to be a PEOPLE pleaser. -Lk. 16:15; Gal. 1:10

Conclusion

• Evaluate
• Look back
• Look up
• Prioritize

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Want more joy and a closer walk with God? Chip shares the game plan for personal satisfaction and intimacy with Him.

Breakthrough Concept #2: God owns everything. I am His money manager.

The “Oikonomia” Principle: All that we are, and all that we have belongs to God and has been temporarily entrusted to us to manage according to His wishes. -1 Cor. 4:1-2

The Setting: Correction of the Pharisees and instruction of His disciples concerning wealth.

The Story: Luke 16:1-11

• Mismanagement occurs and dismissal soon follows.
• Two options are considered and a third is taken.
• A commendation by the owner, a good lesson from a bad example, “he was shrewd.”

The Teaching: Faithfulness with material wealth is a prerequisite to being entrusted with spiritual wealth and rewards.

The Test: Two basic financial practices that demonstrate God is our #1 priority.

1. Generous stewards give the FIRST and BEST to God. -Pr. 3:9-10

2. Generous stewards give REGULARLY and SYSTEMATICALLY. -1 Cor. 16:2

Three questions wise stewards regularly ask

1. Am I using the money entrusted to me in accordance with the Owner’s wishes?

2. Am I carefully keeping account of where all the Owner’s funds are going?

3. Am I becoming “best friends” with the “Owner” by the privilege and opportunity of managing His resources?

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