Locker Room - A Southland Christian Church Podcast

Scott Hatfield returns for this episode of Locker Room to talk about those important words many of us have said in our vows, "...in sickness and in health." Scott and his wife Sarah have walked through many tough seasons over the 27 years of their marriage.

1. Everyone has a unique story about how they met their wife. Share your story or, if not married, where you're at in the journey toward marriage. 2. Hatfield was led by God to make some decisions relationally that paved the way for his marriage to Sarah. How do prayer, worship, and God's word feed into your own relational world? 3. As you heard Hatfield share his story, which parts of their "adventures together" resonated most to encourage, challenge, or inspire you? 4. Sarah jokes that she was in great health and perfect condition before she and Scott met. They quickly faced challenges that required faithfulness to their vow: "In sickness and in health." How has this vow, or another wedding vow, been a challenge and/or an anchor in your life? 5. Both Nickell and Hatfield compiled a list of "learnings" from going through challenges and hard times: We're more selfish than we know; If we could change it we would; Sometimes it takes counseling; The church is an amazing family; The husband is called to be Jesus to his bride. Which of them are lessons you have learned? Which ones do you want or need to learn? 6. Hatfield shared several great bits of advice for thriving in marriage. Which of these do you sense God wants you to implement in your marriage? Worship together; Leave it all on the field; Do what it takes; Don't hit the eject button; Lay down your expectations. 7. How do you need to ask God to work in you, your life, your relationships, and/or your marriage this week? Do that now.

Kevin Comp joins Scott on this episode of Locker Room to share his story. Kevin was married and divorced early in life and went on to work through pain, forgiveness and redemption.

Kevin serves as the Campus Pastor for Southland's Georgetown location. He has been married to his wife Stacey for 21 years and they have 3 children.

1. Kevin mentioned that Middle School age is a very formative time. What were the positive and negative influences on your life in Middle School that had long-lasting effects? 2. Kevin mentioned that being a "workaholic" was really an excuse to hide from his leadership role at home. How does that quote resonate with you? What other leadership roles might we tend to hide from? 3. Bob Cherry took Kevin out to lunch after his divorce and showed him grace. Who has shown you grace in some of your lowest moments? 4. Have you ever wrestled with the tension of knowing God's grace covers others but having trouble believing it to be true about yourself? 5. Have you ever felt like God was "done with you"? How can we go deeper with our understanding of God's grace and unlimited power over our past and for our future? 6. What is an area of your life or a relationship you have that needs restoration? 7. How has God grown and matured your faith in Him over the years? What were the ups and downs of that journey? 8. How can the group be praying for you this week?

In this episode, Scott sits down with Nathan Head and Jason Eaton to discuss how their marriages and families have grown through choosing to adopt.

1. How did you and your spouse meet? How long have you been married? Do you have kids? If so how many? 2. For those with kids: Did you always want kids? For those without kids: How many kids do you want? What are your thoughts, fears, excitements about having kids? 3. How does hearing Nate and Jason talk about their adoption processes shed light on the power of what the Bible says about God adopting us into His family? 4. Scott mentioned the C.S. Lewis quote, "All love involves risk." How has this been true in your marriage? In your parenting? 5. Going through the adoption process requires radical dependence upon God for everything. What are you currently needing to radically depend on God for? 6. Nate mentioned "the adversity you face will make you stronger because it becomes a bond of intimacy that otherwise would not be created." How has this been true for you in regards to marriage and parenting?

On this episode Austin Ketron joins Scott to talk about what it looks like to build a marriage out of the rubble of addiction and recovery. Austin and Monique have been married for 8 years and have four children, and now focus on building into their family and helping others.

1. Austin was very transparent and vulnerable about his past and struggles. Do you feel like you have a safe place to be known? Or do you feel like you have to pretend and manage your image? Have you ever worried about being found out as a fraud? 2. How have you struggled with addiction? Whether it be alcohol, substance, sex, pornography, greed, etc. Where do you stand in recovery? And what did that process look like? 3. God often works in ways we never imagined. Share some of those with the group. 4. At some moments, it can be hard to see God's hand and provision. But years later it can be very obvious. Where have you seen God's faithfulness in your past to bring about healing and wholeness? 5. How do you wrestle with the tension of being at a weak moment, while still performing and executing daily responsibilities? 6. What does your daily prayer and time in the Bible look like? 7. How can this group help you the most with keeping you accountable while encouraging you to pursue Jesus in all things?

James joins Scott for this episode to share his story. James and his wife Lauren had just married, returned from a honeymoon and were settling into life together when everything changed in the blink of an eye.

1. Where was your first date and how did it go? How long was it before you knew you were going to marry your spouse? 2. Did you ask your father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter? If so, how did that conversation go? 3. What is the scariest moment you have ever had with your spouse? Have you ever been in a situation where you thought either of your lives were in danger? 4. James mentioned the power of Jeff's presence when he stayed overnight with him after Lauren passed away. Share a time you were blessed by a friend in a tough season. 5. Were you the kid in the family who resonated with the "prodigal son" or were you the older brother? 6. James mentioned how grief is like waves on the ocean: the ups and the downs, but that, over time, you remember less of the bad and more of the good. What has been your journey with grief? How has God's presence and power helped you heal? 7. James talked about how he partnered with God in Lauren's restoration process. How has your spouse helped you in your restoration process? How have you helped your spouse in theirs? 8. Who is someone you know that's going through a hard time? How might you reach out to to be a lifeline for them?

Gary and his wife Linda have been married for 47 years. On this episode, Gary shares memorable moments and wisdom he has learned over many years from both his own marriage and counseling married couples.

1. Tell your group the story of your first date. 2. Marriage is a journey not a destination. Share some of your journey—the highs and the lows—with everyone. What image would you use to explain where you are at on your journey? 3. How do you resonate with the thought of marriage being a "box" to check off? 4. "If you don't like what your wife is, consider what you have done to help her become that?" 5. How do you express to your wife that you cherish and value her? What is your favorite thing about your spouse? 6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your understanding of your spouse? How well do you think they would say they understand you? 7. Who, if anyone, ever shared biblical wisdom about what it means to be a godly husband with you? 8. "Listens a lot, corrects little, cares deeply." Would your spouse say these of you? What prevents you from embodying these for your wife? 9. "Don't change partners, change yourself." If you don't understand what that looks like, how can we help you figure that out?

In this episode, Scott sits down with Chapman Bean to talk about life in a new marriage.

1. Why is non-sexual intimacy something many men are not good at in marriage? How do you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage (and other relationships)? 2. Sex is one of the most complicated aspects of marriage, and it oftens goes unaddressed, with no time, thought, or conversation given to it. Why is it embarrassing for men to be honest about their sex lives? 3. What is the personality-makeup of your marriage in terms of extroversion and introversion? How has Jesus redeemed the pros and cons of these in your relationship? 4. How has Jesus sustained your love and commitment for your spouse? 5. How do you and your spouse navigate what and who is a priority in your lives? 6. What are unhealthy characteristics you see in some marriages? What about healthy characteristics? How do you see yourself growing in the healthy areas? 7. What is the most obvious way Jesus is growing you as a husband in this season?

There's a path God provides for men to take on responsibility and humbly steward it; a path that has a home - a place where you belong, and people you belong with. And it is good.

1) If you're married, how old were you when you got married? What led you to marry at that age? If single, what has led you to be single to this point? 2) Scott mentioned that nothing in your life will help you become more like Jesus and learn self sacrifice than marriage and having children. How does marriage and parenting show us God's design for His creation? How does this show us what God values most? 3) In the Bible children are viewed as having immense value and being a huge blessing. How does this differ from what culture tells us about having kids? In what ways does this challenge you? 4) There is a path to manhood that consists of self-sacrifice. Why do you think God designed it this way? Why do you think so many men today resist or delay the journey down that path? 5) What areas of our culture and communities do you see being most devastated from the absence of mature, godly men? 6) How does Jesus reveal manhood in its purest form? How does this challenge you? What is one area of your journey to manhood that Jesus is sanctifying right now?

The family, the church, and government--three institutions of authority living in tension with one another.

In this episode Scott explores the context of Romans 13 and how we can remain faithful to Jesus with a clear biblical worldview on authority.

1) Would people label you as too political or not political enough? Why would they think that? 2) Who do you receive more attacks from: The "left" or the "right"? How come? 3) Read Romans 13:1-7. Check out multiple versions if possible. What observations stick out? 4) How have you wrestled in the past with the tension between government and God? What are some decisions you have had to make where you were obedient to God when the government overstepped? 5) What does the phrase "Jesus is King," mean to you in this season? How has this affected the decisions you have been making? 6) What are some ways that you need to grow your Biblical Worldview? What avenues and resources help you the most in growing in your knowledge of Jesus and the Bible?

"...Until we see ourselves and each other as God sees us, and respond with an intentional embrace of his oneness, we will forever ring flat in a world that longs to hear the liberating cadence of truth."

In today's episode Scott reads from and reflects ond Oneness Embraced by Tony Evans.

Tony is the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, TX.

1. What comes to mind when you hear the word "Oneness?" What do you envision when you think about racial oneness? How have you seen the discussion and the reality of racial oneness embraced in your local community change over time? 2. Tony Evans says racism still exists because the church, which is the most qualified to talk about racial reconciliation, has not addressed its root. How has the root of racism been addressed at churches you've been part of throughout your life? 3. "Cognitive Dissonance" is defined as holding contradicting views simultaneously. What contradicting views do you hold or struggle with currently? 4. "Authentic oneness comes from the outgrowth of our shared lives, not simply through a cross-cultural experience here and there." How are you sharing life experiences with different people? 5. "Oneness is the preeminent vehicle that God displays His power and presence and also His glory." How are you embodying oneness throughout your week? 6. "People struggle with reconciling spiritual beliefs with social realities." How has this been true for you this past year? 7. Who are people in your weekly life that are different from you—racially, socially, or economically—that you might take the opportunity to shake their hand and invite them into a dialogue to learn about them and their heritage? 8. How do you contribute to racial division in your church? How do you contribute to racial reconciliation within your church? How about within the specific row in which you sit every week?