Locker Room - A Southland Christian Church Podcast

"Our greatest challenge as men is to carry our assigned weight. Carrying our weight means doing the things only we can do--the things for which we are responsible..."

In this episode Scott reads from The Heroic Path: In Search Of The Masculine Heart by John Sowers.

1. Why do you like or dislike to read? What ways to you prefer to be informed or inspired? What is the best book you've ever read? 2. Who played the most significant role in your life, shaping what you believe manhood to be? 3. "Men stand tallest when they stand for others." Who are you standing for? Who is standing for you? 4. What "weight" are you carrying that is the heaviest in this season? 5. What tempts you most to stall out? 6. What or who encourages you the most? 7. How have you grown the most in your journey into manhood?

We pick up from our last episode, continuing conversation on leading teams with Scott Hatfield and Mike Vandemark.

1. "Calling" isn't power, it is submission. How do you use your calling to elevate others? 2. A lack of trust will crumble any team. How well do you trust others? How well do others trust you? 3. Do you listen to those you lead more than you talk or coach them? 4. The best example of courageous leadership is saying you're sorry and that you were wrong. How willing are you to apologize? 5. Security as a leader is key in being able to take push-back or critique. Where are you the most secure and insecure as a leader?

In this episode Scott circles up with Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield - two Southland staff guys with years of experience leading teams.

1. The guys talked about how they have grown and struggled in the process of becoming better leaders. What areas of leadership have been a struggle for you in the past? How have you grown the most over the past two years? 2. "My way isn't always the best way." In what areas, topics, or ways do you struggle to admit this? 3. There is a huge difference between having a conversation with someone and telling them all the ways they are wrong and you are right. What strategies do you use to ensure the give and take of mutual conversation? 4. Empathy is key in leadership. How do you fare in empathizing with people who are different from you? 5. Do you always have to win an argument? What hills are you willing to die on?

Scott sits down with former Kentucky basketball player Ravi Moss to talk life, faith journey and memories from his time in UK hoops.

1. What was your favorite UK basketball team of all time? Who is your favorite UK basketball player of all time?

2. Ravi mentioned that ending up at Kentucky was a part of God's journey for him. What have been some aspects of your path that you can look back on and see God's hand at work?

3. Scott and Ravi sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk. Who do you need to sit down and have a conversation with? What do you need to talk about?

4. Ravi mentioned "getting it right" is what is important, not to "be right". How do you struggle with this in life, work, marriage, friendships, parenting?

5. "Attitude reflects leadership." How does your attitude reflect the leadership above you? How does your family's attitude reflect your leadership?

6. Where are you at right now with your faith journey?

7. How is Jesus using you to bring about reconciliation in race relations in this season?

How to be a reasonable man living in unreasonable times.

1. Scott said, hands down, the best movie of all time is "The Godfather". What is your favorite movie of all time and why?

2. How are you bothered, if at all, by those who think and speak things that you perceive as unreasonable?

3. What are some popular beliefs held by many today that fall in the "unreasonable" category?

4. Read Philippians 4:5. Depending on the translation you're reading, Paul says to be reasonable, gentle, or considerate to everyone. Who are the people or groups of people that you struggle to respond to in this way?

5. You cannot make people be reasonable, but you can be reasonable. How does this play out in a practical way?

6. What challenges you or can be a stumbling block in the way of being reasonable? What aids you in being characterized as reasonable?

7. Are you known as a reasonable man in these "unreasonable" times?

Courtney Love sits down with Scott for this episode of the podcast.

Courtney serves as Director of Player Development for University of Kentucky Football and played 2 seasons with the Wildcats (2016-2017) after transferring from Nebraska.

Discussion Questions:

1) Courtney is the Director of Player Development for UK Football. He was a 2yr starter and team captain, won the award for college football's top community servant, and helped set the tone and culture for UK's football program's success. He's no stranger to the locker room! What do you remember most about his playing career? 2) When sharing his favorite football memory he didn't talk about the fumble recovery on Lamar Jackson or victory over Louisville, instead, he talked about the practice the week before. Why did he pick that? What does that say about his character? 3) Though he was very successful athletically, Courtney always knew that his identity was not in sports. What did he share about his childhood that helped him know that? How did his college roommates help hold him accountable to that? 4) His father was huge on character, core values, and discipline. He once told Courtney', "If you have a party that's only for the "popular kids" I'm going to shut it down" because he wanted him to always think about how he could help others. Read Luke 14:15-24, what kind of people were at the party described there? 5) When Courtney interacts with people he is thinking: How can I serve you? How can I add value to you? Sounds a lot like Jesus' words in Matthew 20:28. Is that true for you, is that your default? 6) Working with UK players now his goal is to build men of character, competence, and consequence. On the field, in the classroom, and in the community helping them excel in all aspects of life. What did he say being a "man of consequence" means? Are there men in your life who you are helping to build up similarly? 7) Does your life exude calm confidence? Are you confident in who you are and what your purpose is? If not, how can you cultivate that?

How do we define a real man? In this episode we discuss God's definition of manhood in an age of fatherlessness. Scott reads and shares thoughts from Father Fiction by Donald Miller.

1) Donald Miller's book "Father Fiction" talks about the impact growing up fatherless had on him. What was your relationship with your father like? 2) Where do our struggles as a son or as a father come from? Where is this tension around manhood rooted? 3) How would our culture finish this sentence: "You are not a man unless _____"? 4) How would you define a real man? 5) Read Matthew 7:9–11 and 1 John 3:1. Learning how to navigate the journey of manhood is challenging. Some say it is passed down from one father to the next, but what does it mean that our identity comes from our Heavenly Father first and foremost? 6) God has spoken, so I have what it takes to become a good man; It doesn't depend on whether I had a good dad or a bad dad—or no dad at all. How does that thinking free you up? How does it motivate you? 7) Jesus is the essence of what real manhood looks like. What "manly" qualities do you see in His life?

If we believe Jesus really is king of everything, that means ALL THINGS. In this episode Scott shares thoughts on how we can keep Christ over all things in our lives.

Discussion Questions:

1. Read Colossians 1:15-20. Jesus is king of everything: All things, visible and invisible, on Earth and in Heaven, everything. Do you believe that? And more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life?

2. Is the preeminent story of my life Jesus' preeminence?

3. Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. The Bible is sufficient for all things. Do you believe that and more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life?

4. What does it mean that the Bible is... Profitable? Useful for correcting? For training in righteousness?

5. Are you prone to look to other resources before—or more often than—the Bible? What are some examples of other resources we are tempted to look toward?

6) Read 1 Timothy 4:16. This begins with me. The person we need to think about first is ourself. How are you doing with syncing up your life and your doctrine; what you believe and what you do?

7. Pray that the guys in your group would be men who believe and demonstrate with their whole lives that Jesus is king of everything, that the Bible is sufficient for all things, and that it starts with me.

In this episode Scott unpacks what the book of Proverbs has to say about the value of discipline in our lives, and we talk about practical steps we can take to move forward.

Discussion Questions:

1. Laziness plagues a lot of men, and when they become lazy or bored women and children often take the brunt of it. What areas of laziness do you struggle with? When are you most susceptible to check out and become lazy?
2. How do you ask your spouse, children, or loved ones to speak truth to and point out blind spots in your life? Do you welcome or push away accountability?
3. Work is a Godly thing. How has your work life or perspective changed during the COVID-19 pandemic?
4. Laziness in one area of your life can easily spread into other areas. Ask yourself honestly: Where do you need to step it up and be disciplined? Marriage, fitness, work, family, friends, faith?
5. Proverbs pushes young men to become and stay self-governing––to not be reliant on the government, bosses, or others to motivate them and to spur them into action. How does this resonate and challenge you? Who have you become reliant upon for motivation and governing at times?
6. Small things can have massive impacts in our lives. From making our bed to cleaning our room, self-discipline starts small and paves the way for fruitfulness. What is one small task you can begin to make a daily discipline?
7. Disorder brings chaos and worry. How has this plagued your past? How can your future change this narrative?
8. Read Proverbs 6:9-11, which teaches that laziness leads to disaster. How can you take a step away from that today?

Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast as we discuss how we as men can rise up to the responsibilities of spiritual leadership in our homes.

Discussion Questions:

1. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the term "spiritual leader?" Who was the spiritual leader of your home growing up? What did you see exhibited well? What did you see done poorly?
2. How do you feel pressure to lead your family well spiritually? What areas do you struggle with? What areas has your spouse or friends pointed out as blind sides in your life?
3. Hatfield pointed out well that women were created from the side of man, not under or over him. Lived out well, men and women are different but equal. Where do you and your spouse work well together? What is an area of tension because of difference? How does the Spirit work through you to bring about unity in your marriage?
4. Have you ever had a thought where you will "suck it up," for your family and their well being?
5. How do you serve your wife? What does she need most from you? How do you serve your kids?
6. How would your spouse answer these questions: What do you need more of from me? What do you need less of from me? What would be most helpful from me?
7. Knowing each other's capacity is essential. When do you tend to get overwhelmed? When does your spouse tend to reach their limit? How does your spouse lighten your responsibilities best?
8. How well do you and your spouse date? What is your favorite thing to do together?
9. What do your kids enjoy doing the most with you? How do you prioritize and schedule that?