Scott introduces Southland’s new women’s podcast: Defined.

In this first episode, we introduce this podcast and outline the vision for redefining women’s conversations.

You can listen to episodes of Defined here or subscribe on iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!

Vinnie Lopez is a former professional MMA fighter and current owner of Vital Strength and fitness in Denver Colorado. He is also a professional coach of several current fighters both in the UFC and outside of it. In this episode Vinnie and Scott discuss Vinnie’s story and what he is currently passionate about.

Discussion Questions:

1. Vinnie had a rough childhood and was essentially left to fend for himself. Now, looking back, what did he say he’s learned from those experiences? How is that being redeemed for good?
2. Ironically, MMA fighting was the thing that softened Vinnie’s heart enough to let Jesus in. What things would you point to in your life that softened your heart to hear and respond to the gospel?
3. Vinnie’s whole life has been about pushing through painful or difficult situations and coming out on the other side. What happens when we go through the fire? What do we learn about ourselves?
4. Everybody avoids pain differently. How do you try to get around it or take the easy route? What habits do we need to build to handle adversity?
5. As men, we struggle to not put our identity in what we do. Vinnie talked about the moment when he realized fighting wasn’t the ultimate thing in his life, it was just a thing in his life. What have you had to wrestle to put in its proper place?
6. Having friends and mentors along the road to help us stay on track, even when things get difficult is essential. Do you have people like that in your corner? Are you that kind of friend for others?
7. Vinnie ended with some great challenges: Do something hard every day. Push yourself. Put yourself in situations where it’s going to be hard to win. You’re building one habit or another. What elements of discipline do you need to put in your life?

Scott and Jon attended one of Jordan Peterson’s lectures. In this episode they share their thoughts on the message Jordan Peterson brings to men.

Discussion Questions:

1. Before this podcast had you heard of Jordan Peterson? Had you heard about his opposition to legislation, his lectures, or his book 12 Rules of Life?
2. A lot of young men are drawn to Peterson because of our need for someone who will speak truth into our lives and provide us with high challenge. Why do men gravitate to that? Do you see this “father-hunger” void show up in other areas?
3. Read 1 Corinthians 4:14. Who would you say have been spiritual guides or spiritual fathers in your life?
4. Jon and Scott talked about wrestling, hunting, sports, etc. There seems to be an innate physicality to boys and men, do you agree or disagree? Why?
5. Read John 5:19-20, 8:28. What can we learn from Jesus’ relationship with his Father?
6. Share what you think about Peterson’s quote, “If you want to make dangerous men, make weak boys.”
7. C.S. Lewis said, “We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” We complain that we don’t have honorable men, but we don’t do anything to create honorable men. What are some things we can do to help reverse that?
8. Why is it valuable to give men high expectations or challenges, equip them with the right tools to feel confident, and get them together? What can we create to provide that?

In this episode, Scott discusses the famous story of David and Goliath.

1. David showed patience towards Saul because he trusted in God’s anointing and timing for him. In what area of your life do you need to trust God and His timing? How could patience change your current situation?
2. “Faith pushes us through our fears.” Talk about a fear or anxiety you have faced lately. What is faith calling you to do in response?
3. Goliath focused on the physical, David focused on God. In what area of your life do you need to look to Jesus instead of your own abilities?
4. David shows us that God can use whoever he wants, however he wants, whenever he wants. And God is greater than any giant we could face. What giant are you currently up against? How can you trust God’s ability in light of that?
5. Read 1 Samuel 17:48-54. Goliath was ultimately defeated with his own weapon which was a foreshadow of how Satan would one day be defeated by what he thought was his own weapon, the cross. The cross secures our victory over our enemy. What lies, doubts, or other insecurities is the enemy feeding you? How does the cross speak truth over and above them?
6. We need to trust God and do the next right thing. What is the next right thing Jesus is calling you to in your marriage, with your kids, or in your home?

Jennifer is the first female guest on Locker Room! In this episode she shares with us some of what she's learned about men through many years of counseling.

1. Jennifer Wallace says that her job consists of “listening to people's stories.” Take a moment to think about the high point and low point of your past week. Share your story.
2. The number one reason men do not seek help is because of pride; we are unwilling to look weak. How is this true for you, specifically?
3. Our struggles today are rooted in our past. Either we did not receive things we should have, or things were done to us that should not have been. Which has affected you more? How?
4. Recently men have been more willing to come forth and admit to Jennifer that they need help because they are “tired of feeling stuck.” Where and why do you feel stuck?
5. In what area of your life have you settled for the lie that “things are never going to change?” (example: relationships, career, addictions) Why do you believe this?
6. Common obstacles that keep men from getting where they want to be in life are fear, broken relationships, and habits or patterns that need to be changed. Which one of the three resonates with you and why?
7. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” If you worked together to define “abundant life”, what words or phrases would you include?
8. Jennifer mentioned three components that help lead to freedom: honesty, vulnerability, and accountability. Name one person you are going to contact this week, to be honest and vulnerable, and ask for accountability. Next week share how that conversation went.

Scott and Patrick talk about the challenges men and women have in communicating with one another.

1. Did you grow up in a family where it was encouraged to communicate and share your feelings? Was it ok to cry or did you feel like you were supposed to hide?
2. How was your dad as a communicator? (Overly aggressive or overly passive, failing to engage, etc.)
3. Read Genesis 3:6-11. How is our shame deeply rooted in the original Fall of man?
4. What are the consequences of covering up or shoving down our shame? What is the fear of being naked and vulnerable?
5. How is Paul trying to flip this idea back around in Ephesians 5:25-33? How is he challenging men to be initiators, to be proactive, and to start the conversation?
6. Patrick said this is so tough for men because you are “taking the risk of being seen and being weak”. Is it hard for you to venture into areas where you feel incompetent?
7. When someone shares a problem or concern, do you find yourself dismissing it, going straight to trying to fix it, or seeking to listen and understand first?
8. How can you begin doing these things this week with your wife? With your family?

In this episode Scott talks to former Major League Baseball player Austin Kearns. Austin talks about the importance of failure, mental toughness, his love for coaching and being a dad.

Group Questions

1. Share a baseball related story with the group. Maybe your famous little league days or best ballpark you’ve got to see a game in.
2. Austin spent 3yrs in the minor leagues before 11yrs in the majors. What kind of mental toughness would you have to develop during that stage of your career?
3. The major league baseball season is long - 162 games, with all the travel, the hotel rooms, being away from family, etc. But as they say “You gotta perform to stay”. Do you ever feel that kind of pressure at your job?
4. Austin said, “I always learned the most from failure”. How is failure such a great teacher? What do you learn about yourself when you fail?
5. Mental toughness in dealing with adversity is a key in baseball and in life. Discuss 1 Peter 1:13 and 2 Timothy 4:5 Why is mental toughness commanded in the Bible?
6. Austin shared that his goal in coaching is to instill fundamentals that will help younger players thrive while developing a work ethic and a love for the game. Do you coach any youth sports? How has it been trying to teach these things to younger kids?
7. “Keep things simple. Do the little things correctly. Work on the fundamentals.” These all seemed to be themes in Austin’s story. Read 2 Timothy 3:14-16 and Hebrews 4:12 How does the fundamental of reading God’s word daily help us? Are you practicing that fundamental frequently or neglecting it?

In this episode Scott talks about what we can learn from Elijah.

Discussion Questions:

1. Read 1 Kings 17. How did God demonstrate his provision for Elijah out in the desert? What was he teaching Elijah?
2. What do you think Elijah was thinking when God sent him to live with a widow and her son? What would you think of God’s plan if you were in this story?
3. How did God continue to show his provision, to both Elijah and the widow’s family?
4. Read 1 Kings 18:19-39 Before this showdown on Mt. Carmel, do you think Elijah thought about running away? Or do you think he was so excited he couldn’t wait?
5. What details of the story stuck out to you? As readers & listeners to Elijah’s life, what are we learning about God’s character?
6. Read 1 Kings 19:1-18. Often after our greatest victories, we face our greatest temptations. Share a time when that has happened in your own life.
7. What is the significance of God showing up in a gentle whisper instead of the wind, earthquake or fire?
8. At times in these stories Elijah showed extreme confidence in God while at other times he was scared for his life and impatient with God. Why is that? Why do we continue to doubt God’s goodness and faithfulness?

Ross has been a member at Southland for many years and is chairman of the elder team. Ross talks about what it looks like to extend grace to others out of the grace that's been extended to him.

1. Ross mentioned “difference makers” along his path that he can look back and see was God continually pursuing him. Coaches, guidance counselors, friend’s parents, etc. Who have been “difference makers” in your life?
2. Extending grace to lost and broken people is our mission. How does Jesus demonstrate that for us? (Romans 5:6-11 & 1 John 4:10)
3. Because of the grace we’ve received, we get to give that to others. Do you hold non-Christians to the same standard as Christians? What’s the difference between condoning sinful behavior and extending grace?
4. Ross said never think of people as projects or think you’re better than others. What can we do to cultivate that mindset and outlook? (Romans 12:2)
5. Everyone has a sphere of influence. Who would you say is in your sphere of influence currently? How are you building relationships with them?
6. “If you don’t like change you’re going to like your irrelevance even less.” How does that relate to the Church’s mission to reach people?
7. The reality is time flies, and that’s why God reminds us to make the most of our days & make each day count (Psalm 90:12). Do you live with a sense of urgency? Are you asking God to provide opportunities with the people around you?
8. Make this your prayer this week as you wake up: “Lord, put somebody in my path today that needs you and needs help?”

Rorke is a Navy Seal, author, actor,hunter, husband and father. Rorke speaks all over the country for different organizations. On today’s podcast he and Scott wrap up their talk on leadership.

Discussion Questions:

1. A lot of men aren’t avid readers. What about you? Why do you or don’t you read? Would you recommend other men to do the same?
2. What do we miss out on when we just Google everything in the moment? How can that affect us both short term and long term?
3. Rorke said “information won’t be committed to memory where it can be weaponized,” what does he mean by that? And why is it important to know more than just a few bullet points or sound bites?
4. When and where could you start reading more? What sort of things would you like to read that would challenge you intellectually and spiritually?
5. “Leaders do not take, we give. We don’t command, we serve.” What do you think about that axiom from Rorke?
6. What are the “misnomers of manhood” in our culture today? What do others think is “manly” that actually is a bad or negative characteristic?
7. Do you have good examples of strong, authentic, gentleman in your life? Who are you being that example for?