Locker Room - A Southland Christian Church Podcast

Taylor is a former Division 1 basketball player and devoted follower of Jesus. Scott and Taylor discuss value and importance of having good

Group Questions:

1. Growing up, what was your favorite sport or hobby? What were your favorite and least favorite teams you were apart of? What is your favorite sports memory of all time?
2. How has a coach or mentor influenced your life? What was it about them that made you want to listen to and follow them?
3. Taylor mentioned his coach, Tommy Huston, mimicked Jesus' servant attitude. When was a time someone served you? Who is someone you could be serving today? What keeps us from having a humble spirit?
4. In life, there are always ups and downs. When was a low moment in your life? And how has God redeemed that or brought reconciliation and healing through the pain?
5. The discipleship process is one that never ends. We are always growing more like Christ. Who is someone that is pouring into you? If no one, who is someone you could ask? Who is someone that you could be pouring into?
6. When was a time that you were misunderstood, or judged by someone from a different generation? Is there a generation that you have a harder time understanding? If so, why?
7. This week, what is one way that you could humble yourself and serve your family? What is one way that you could invest in someone of the next generation?

Aaron is a leader with FCA at the University of Kentucky, a husband and a father. Scott and Aaron discuss our identity and purpose apart from vocation and deal with the question, “why do I do what I do?”

Group Questions:

1. Who are some of the great coaches or mentors you’ve had? What made them impactful in your life?
2. The questions Aaron loves to ask coaches are: Why do you coach? What’s your purpose? Why do you coach the way you coach? What does it feel like to be coached that way?  Substitute your roles in life: husband, father, leader, etc. Why do you do what you do?
3. Passion will run out, but purpose will sustain you. What does that mean for your life? Are you fueled by passion or purpose?
4.  “There are three hard things: Steel. Diamonds. And to know one’s self.” - Benjamin Franklin. Who is helping you see the blind spots in your life?
5. Read Ecclesiastes 4:8-12. How does this passage speak about purpose? Why do we need others in our lives?
6. Men tend to isolate themselves. Looking for an escape or driven by fear we think we are pursuing safety. We’re actually putting ourselves in real danger. Where do you see this in your own life?
7. How can you be more intentional in your relationships this week (at home, at work, at church, etc.)? Share some good practices.
8. Aaron ends with a question - would you rather have a map or a mentor? Who is someone you could ask to invest in you?

Dave is a pastor and author. Dave will talk about how to build strong dating and marriage relationships.

Group Questions:

1. Discuss Dave’s seven keys to a successful marriage:
   1. Pray together every day. (Spiritual Leadership)
   2. Answer the phone when she calls. (Availability)
   3. Turn off the phone when you're together. (Distractions)
   4. Be playful and fun. (Joy)
   5. Be an encourager, not a critic. (Build Up)
   6. Always be there for each other. (Covenant)
   7. Never give up on each other. (Commitment)
2. Which of these keys is easiest for you? Hardest?
3. Is it easier to pray for your wife or with her? Why? 
4. How does technology currently impact your marriage?
5. Would people around you know that you prioritize your wife by what you say and do?
6. How do you currently handle conflict in your marriage? What are some healthy ways you can manage conflict? What unhealthy practices do you need to guard against?
7. Read Ephesians 5:25-26.
8. We are called to give, pursue, and forgive with radical grace. As a group pray for one another to do that in our marriages.

Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Joseph from the Old Testament.

Group Questions:

1. Read Genesis 39:8-9 & 50:19-21. Carve out some time to read Genesis 37-50 individually this week.
2. Read Psalm 51:3-4. How did David view his sin? Who did he realize he had sinned against?
3. How does our perspective of who we are sinning against change our view of sin?
4. Do you see God as the One you are ultimately accountable to? 
5. How did Joseph keep from becoming bitter and resentful? What perspective did he have of God?
6. Do you believe God is able to redeem even the worst and most painful moments in your life? 
7. Scott defines integrity as the "consistency of who you are in private with who you are in public." Many times in Joseph’s story, he is in positions of leadership, authority and power. How does he act with integrity in those positions?
8. Where are you most tempted to compromise your integrity?
9. Pray together to be men who see God's sovereignty this week. Ask God to help you live with integrity at home and in the workplace.

Scott and Patrick talk specifically about the importance of acknowledging your sexual history.

Group Questions:

1. This episode uncovers some deep and hurtful experiences such as sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and childhood abuse. If you are in a group setting, be aware that this is sensitive for many people to discuss. Reach out to the Southland staff if someone in your group wants or needs to discuss further.
2. In Patrick’s book ‘Grace and Sexuality’ he says, “To be born into the American culture is to be born into trauma”. Do you agree with his thoughts?
3. Why is there so much shame associated with our sexual history? Why do we want to hide and cover up?
4. How early would you say your first sexual experiences occurred?
5. Were you taught about your sexual desires as a child? Who talked to you about how to express them in a healthy way? If not, where did you learn from?
6. There’s a big difference in these two sayings: “Sex is dirty and let’s not talk about it,” and  “God created sex. He created our bodies this way and he created marriage between and man and a woman. What a great God we serve!” Which view resonates with you? Why?
7. Patrick said, “I am what happened to me, but what choices and decisions do I have now to glorify God?” How could that perspective help us move past our sexual histories?
8. Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7.
9. How can your sexual struggles help you put your trust in God rather than being a victim?

Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Abram/Abraham.

Group Questions:

1. Read Genesis 12:1-9
2. Think through the practicality of God calling Abram to “leave and go to the land that I will show you”. Who did he have to talk to? What was their response? How long did this take? What if God said that to you today?
3. God’s command doesn’t start with much clarity, but becomes clearer as he trusts God and walks in obedience. Has that ever been true in your walk with God?
4. Scott points out the names of the places Abram is between: “Bethel” = house of God and “Ai” = ruin. Throughout your day do you think of how your decisions are leading you to God or away from God? Are you going to walk in obedience toward God or are you going to takes steps in disobedience away from God. One leads to ruin/destruction and one leads to life/joy/peace.
5. Read Genesis 12:10-20 & 16:1-6
6. When things got difficult Abram leaves and takes things into his own hands. Scott notes that we want to control things and we value self-preservation. How was Abram’s decision driven by fear?
7. Abraham is one of those Bible characters that we tend to hold up as a hero. How does it affect your view of him when we read about all the times he disobeyed God? What does it say about God that he chooses this man to be the father of the nation of Israel?
8. Look back at decisions in your past when you’ve been at a crossroads to trust God or take things into your own hands. When you have disobeyed and made decisions from a lack of trust what happened? Who suffered because of your decision? What have been the consequences?
9. On the flip side, what about the times you have trusted Him and obeyed? Who has benefitted from those decisions? What have been the results of that obedience?

AJ is a professional baseball player.  AJ will talk about how to be patient during difficult seasons of life.

Group Questions:

1. AJ talked about patience during his baseball career and shared about the moments of frustration, bitterness and feeling upset. Why is patience so unnatural for us?
2. Would you consider yourself a patient person?
   1. Do the people around you add fuel to the fire when you are complaining? Do they agree with your thoughts of unfairness and entitlement?  
   2. Or do the people around you encourage you when you’re down? Are they people who are going to help you make wise decisions? Walk with the wise and you’ll grow wise.
   3. Are you being that kind of friend to any guys in your life? Who is it?
3. AJ talked a lot about the company that you keep.
4. When AJ’s friend Travis reminded him “You don’t write your story. Your job is to serve”, it became a turning point in his life. How does the idea of entitlement: “ I deserve, I deserve, I deserve” fight against the mentality of “I’m here to serve”?
5. Read and discuss 1 Peter 5:6-10
6. How can we practically improve/grow in our patience? Are the things around us helping us or hurting us in that pursuit?

Dan is the Campus Leader for Southland’s Georgetown campus. Scott and Dan talk about learning to be fully present with those around us.

Group Questions:

1. When you ask people how they are doing, how do people typically respond?
2. Do you tend to value tasks and projects too highly? Do you tend to validate “being busy” as a good thing?
3. Do you shrug off personal time with Jesus because you are too busy?
   1. What types of friendships do you have (lifelong, surface level, seasonal, etc)?
   2. Is this something you see men struggling with?
4. Are you “friend-poor and acquaintance-rich” as Dan put it?
5. What do good, healthy, deep friendships look like?
6. Are you really known well? Do you actually know anyone else really well?
7. Read Galatians 4:8-9. How should being known by God affect us?
8. Do you attach your value to job success, children’s involvement, or other external factors?
9. How can you be more present with your wife, your kids, and with your friends this week?

Jason is a former ESPN Producer and author of Live to Forgive which is available now (www.jasonromano.com/book). Jason will talk about the difficulty and freedom in forgiving his alcoholic dad.

Discussion Questions

1. Working at ESPN, Jason got to meet a lot of athletes and celebrities. Who would be your favorite athlete to meet and hang out with for a day?
2. Jason shares about his broken relationship with his dad due to divorce and alcohol. What is your relationship with your dad like?
3. Discuss the four stages of forgiveness:
   1. Feeling the Pain - not masking pain and acting like it’s not there, but opening up about anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment.
   2. Evaluating the Trauma - evaluate and see what has happened, take inventory, identify what has been affected, developing healthy boundaries.
   3. Transforming the Wound - moving from the feelings and effects you have towards forgiveness rather than lashing out or feeling entitled to the hurt.
   4. Forgiving the Abuser - letting go of the bitterness, not condoning their behavior, freeing yourself and following the example we see in scripture of God forgiving us.
4. Read Ephesians 4:31-32 and Colossians 3:13. How do these verses speak about forgiveness?
5. Jon mentioned breaking a cycle when we forgive. How have you this cycle in a relationship yourself? 
6. Jason shared about his career change when he finally surrendered his plans and said “yes” to what God wanted. Do you feel like you have done that in your own work career? Are you doing what God has called you to do?
7. Do you agree with this statement: “Forgiveness is not a weakness, it is a strength”? Does our culture agree with that?
8. Fun question to end on: Who is your favorite BIble character and why?

Scott walks us through some important applications from the life of Adam.

Discussion Questions

1. Do you tend to over spiritualize Bible characters or put them on a pedestal as Bible heroes?
2. Read Genesis 1:26-3:19.
3. What aspects of Adam and Eve’s story resonate with you?
4. Have you ever stopped to consider that we were created to rule creation? To work? To care?
5. God has given us meaning, purpose, and a call to something that matters. Do you feel that you are living that way?
6. We were meant to be image bearers of God? How should men reflect God’s character?
7. We have a tendency towards passivity. How does being passive negatively contribute to our roles as men?
8. What sinful tendencies have we inherited from Adam?
9. Spend some time sharing how you can be actively engaged in your spheres of influence this week.