Locker Room - A Southland Christian Church Podcast

Patrick is a professional counselor and author of the book Grace and Sexuality. Scott and Patrick discuss some of the major challenges men face in the realm of sexuality.

Group Questions:

1. Fire belongs in a fireplace. In the right context sex is a great thing and an awesome gift from God. In the wrong context it has more potential to harm and to damage than probably anything else. Read Ephesians 5:1-17.
   1. Repression model: If you have a desire you have to shut it down and pretend it’s not there.
   2. Sex is shameful, dirty and bad. So save it for the one you love.
   3. Do whatever feels good. Sex is just a physical act between two consenting adults. Live it up now while you can.
   4. Sexuality is good and important. God created sex. God does give us parameters and commands us to flee sexual immorality but it’s always for our benefit.
2. We all have natural sexual desires, but what are we supposed to do with these desires? Talk through these different teachings:
3. Which of these views were you taught growing up? How has your view changed?
4. Scott talked about how we often go into “sin management mode,” addressing symptoms but not actually treating the root causes. Why is that not the best way to deal with sin?
5. An inherent weakness with men is sharing about our sexual issues. We try to compartmentalize and privatize them.  Have you seen this tendency in your own life?
6. How have you typically tried to overcome sexual temptations?
7. Patrick talked about creating an “airtight plan” for yourself to remove opportunities to look at sexually explicit content.  Discuss with the group what your plan will be.
8. Are you spending your time doing meaningful things (developing relationships, working out, Bible study, time with family, fishing, hunting, reading, etc) or mind-numbing things (video games, scrolling through social media, etc)?
9. Patrick reminds us that “The healing doesn’t start until the last lie is told.” Have you taken ownership of your sexual issues and stopped lying about them?
10. Are you harboring any secrets? It’s very unlikely that you will experience any success in this area unless you bring it out in the open. You will experience God’s grace like you never dreamed of. On the other side of confession is such freedom and relief. All you need is “10 seconds of courage!”

KJ is the Campus Leader of Southland’s Lexington Campus. Scott and KJ discuss KJ’s diagnosis with MS along with things he’s learned along the way about doing difficult things.

Group Questions:

1. KJ talks about overcoming Multiple Sclerosis and how that opened his eyes to unhealthy exercise and eating habits. How are you doing in those areas? Do you have good habits?
2. What are the benefits of doing difficult things? How does it impact your character?
3. Read Luke 10:27. Everything about us should bring glory to God (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually). Why did Jesus address each of these areas? 
4. It’s easy to compartmentalize and say something like, “I’m spiritually fit but I don’t need to be physically fit.” Why is that faulty thinking?   
5. How does taking care of yourself physically affect how you interact with others?
6. Read Luke 6:45. Do you believe that what you put in is what is going to flow out? Have you seen that principle to be true in your day-to-day life?
7. KJ talks about overcoming his perception and realizing things about himself that he needed to change. That is not an easy thing to do and be honest about. What areas in your life may God be calling you to change?
8. At the end of the podcast KJ challenged guys to think through their friendships. Do you have true friendships with other guys who are helping you follow Jesus, love your wife and kids? Or are they just acquaintances? How are your friendships?

Derrick is the Campus leader at Southland’s Nicholasville campus as well as a father of four. Scott and Derrick discuss what they’ve learned as fathers.

Group Questions:

1. For fathers in the group: What was it like when you got the news that you were going to become a dad? What was it like when you held that baby in your arms for the first time?
2. Most fathers feel very inadequate, unprepared, and not in control when they are starting off as parents. Did you share those feelings? How did it humble you?
3. How has fatherhood helped you understand God’s heart as a Heavenly Father?
4. Read Matthew 6:6-9. How does Jesus teach us to address God?
5. Parents see things from a different perspective than their kids. Share a time when your kids have been wrong or are doing something they think is good that is clearly not good for them. How do we do this with God?
6. Derrick talks about the story of Abraham and Isaac. Read about it in Genesis 22:1-19.
7. What would you have done in that situation? Why was God testing Abraham like this?
8. Have you ever been guilty of “Identity Parenting?"
9. Discuss the differences you’ve experienced between parenting boys and parenting girls. 
10. When was the last time you just took your kids “out for ice cream” solely to spend quality time with them?
11. How are you loving your wife well so your kids see your example? Are you making her a bigger priority than your kids?
12. Do your kids see you reading scripture and praying?

Chris is the Lead executive pastor at Southland. Scott and Chris discuss the essence of manhood.

Group Questions:

1. Chris and Scott talked about mowing the lawn when they were younger. What was one of your first responsibilities or chores as a child?
2. Who has modeled responsibility well in your life? A parent? A coach? A family member? A mentor?
3. Responsibility seems to be part of the essence of manhood since it was hard wired into us at creation. How would you define responsibility?  Does it seem to come natural to you or not?
4. Read Deuteronomy 22:1-4 and the parables in Matthew 25:1-30. How do these passages speak to our call to be responsible?
5. Is responsibility a Godly trait? How so?
6. Talk about the courage and resolve it takes to own a decision you've made? Share an example of a time you did this, even when it was difficult.
7. Many men abdicate spiritual leadership in the home either for not knowing how to do it well or fear of failure. How have you done this? How can you take more responsibility for spiritual leadership in your home?
8. Something doesn’t have to be your fault for you to take responsibility for it. Jesus took ultimate responsibility for our sin. Are there things in your life that you are ignoring or think is someone else’s problem that you could take responsibility for?
9. Chris reminds us to be men who always bring solutions to problems instead of being people that just point out problems. How is this easy or difficult for you?
10. If you’re a younger man, how can you pursue responsibility? If you’re older, who can you hand responsibility to? Who can you help teach and grow?

Mitch is the athletic director at the University of Kentucky. Mitch and Scott discuss what Mitch has learned over the years about the challenges young men face.

Discussion Questions:

In today's podcast, Scott said, “If you do not initiate your young men into the tribe, they will come back and burn down the village just to feel the heat.” Take a moment to discuss what he means. Have you ever seen this happen?

What are some "rites of passage" used in today's culture - positive or negative? Did you experience any “rite of passage” into manhood?

Talk about a challenge you had in life that forced you to grow up and become a man. How did that challenge shape you?

It’s easy for athletes to define their identity based on athletic success, but it’s not just an issue for athletes. How do you attach your identity to your success? Why are we prone to do that?

When things get hard men are always tempted to avoid responsibility and shift the blame. What are the results when we do that? What happens when we take ownership?

Do you learn well from your mistakes? We don’t have game film to go back and see exactly where we messed up, so how can we help each other learn from these moments?

Read and discuss Hebrews 12:7-11.

Scott and Mitch talked about the epidemic of fatherlessness. Who invested in you growing up? How did it make a difference in your life?

How are you investing in the next generation of men?

Jon is the lead follower at Southland. Jon and Scott discuss the importance of manhood in the church.

Discussion Questions:

Share a funny locker room story. What’s the best or worst locker room you’ve been part of?

The goal of this podcast is to redeem men’s conversations. How do men's conversations in today's culture need to be redeemed?

As men, we are specifically challenged with responsibility - in our personal lives, in our homes, in the church, in the business world. In which area do you see men abdicating responsibility the most?

For most men, the biggest temptations come in the areas of pride and lust. How does this threaten the spiritual vitality of men?

Jon mentions Solomon in today's podcast. If you aren’t familiar with Solomon’s life, read about it this week in 1 Kings 1-11. For today’s group discussion read 1 Kings 10:23-11:6, Deuteronomy 17:14-17 & Ecclesiastes 2:1-11.

Solomon "had it all" - wine, women & wealth. He found that each of these was a dead end. What can we learn from his experiences?

Solomon’s life is a story of slow compromise leading to disaster. As he went through life, his heart became insensitive. You’ll never see yourself going down the road of no return. No one ever sets out to ruin their life on purpose, and certainly not to ruin anyone else’s. But it happens all the time. How are you going to take ownership of your own life and live a life of radical obedience to God?

Pray for the men in your group and the men of our church to be Godly men of integrity and character.