I had a really honest conversation with my childhood friend, and he said that it sounded like I didn't truly believe in myself, like I didn't think that I could actually make it as a day trader. Sadly, I realized that he was right.

All of those times when I didn't stick to my risk because I didn't want to take a loss, when I entered a trade and got out right away even though I was right - all of those times I didn't believe in myself, and that's why I did all those things.

I'm not sure how to fix that except for pushing myself to believe more. After all, I left a very successful career to do day trading. I didn't make it the first year because I was still learning, but this year I didn't do very well because of a lack of self-belief.

I'm trading right now, and I want to keep myself accountable, so I'll share the information here. I'm trading SSI, I'm short for an average of $4.41, risking $4.62. It has just closed first red day. I'm looking for a gap down and further. I am not cutting it unless I hit $4.62 or I hit my goal.

It's been so stressful to look for a day job while trying to stick to my rules and do day trading. Sometimes when I'm feeling really low it almost feels like a failure, even though I know that it's not. I will keep pushing at it, and I know that I can multitask well. It will happen for me, it will just take time, discipline and consistency.

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