LOST IN THE LABELS

When someone compliments you do you receive it?

I've noticed that compliments are commonly...

Templated and basic (you're pretty, smart, helpful, fun) 

I also notice that people generally say "THANK YOU", and quickly and uncomfortably move onto the next subject. It's like they don't even hear the compliment. Is this because compliments have become so generic? 

It's likely that you are familiar with a common templated compliment that you regularly receive. It's also possible that that compliment has become virtually meaningless to you. Perhaps you've never stored it and received it because you, 

1. Don't believe it 

OR

2. Don't care if people see that in you

Perhaps, you are yearning to be seen in a way that people rarely verbally recognize. 

This week I received a compliment from a stranger turned friend that will be with me forever. 

"You Distill People", she said. Ugh, it sat on my heart like an butterfly lands on a beautiful yellow rose. 

Listen to today's podcast episode to find out why this compliment had so much meaning to me and why I will be attaching this tag proudly. 

In loving memory of Marine Cpl Christopher J. Lapka who gave his life fighting for our freedoms on October 30th 2004.

Take a moment today to remember the countless men and women who have given their lives serving in The United States Military, fighting for your God given rights. 

Did you know that it's not true??

Bulls don't really get angry when they see red, 

there's no evidence that a goldfish only has a 3 second memory, 

and BONUS, you don't actually eat 8 spiders per year while sleeping!

There are a number of #untruths that you learned throughout life that you believed were TRUE!! Tim McGraw released a song in 2014 called Who Are They. In this song he talks about all of the things you were told throughout life. 

They said...

But, who are they???!?!

Your entire life was spent proving people wrong, decidedly resisting the opinions and judgements of others. How much of that mumbo jumbo did you store? How much are you holding inside of you simply because it was repeated over and over and over again throughout your life? 

When you set out to prove them wrong, are you really proving others wrong OR are you proving yourself wrong? Are you overcoming the voices that are taking space in your head? 

Do you wear the tag #peoplepleaser?

If so, does it actually serve you in your life?

This is a tag that I wore most of my life and I didn't realize...

1. That I was wearing it at all and...

2. What it was costing me personally...

I don't know if I would've recognized the label within myself  throughout my life but there are many moments where I realize that my tendency to please is taking over my ability to enjoy an experience OR even more importantly to show up with authority for myself when the experience violates my core values. 

Do you wear the tag #peoplepleaser? Is it costing you a part of YOU to focus on pleasing others?

Are you a #buffer?

I made a podcast episode today where I discussed the fact that I'm really bad at giving myself a buffer with creating content for my podcast. I really need a few days after travel or during a busy time in my life in order to get re-organized and get my thoughts put back together. When I don't give myself a buffer and some extra time, I find that I tend to completely lose momentum on the podcast all together. 

While I was making the episode, I looked up the definition of buffer, which is something I do quite often on the show. Buffer, as a verb, is lessen or moderate the impact of (something). Yep! That's exactly what I'm referring to when I say that I need a buffer in order to keep my cadence on the podcast. 

Now, while I was looking up that definition, I saw that the word had a definition for noun as well. It means a person or thing that prevents incompatible or antagonistic people or things from coming into contact with or harming each other.

WOW! I realized that the tag #buffer pops out in my life in multiple ways. Check out this episode to see if you are also wearing the tag buffer in your life. 

Freeze....

Don't move...

Imagine for a moment that you're in the middle of a bad dream and you learn that you are a criminal who is robbing a convenient store. Right around the moment that you realize it's you who is breaking the law you realize that you are surrounded by police officers who are holding you at gun point. The only word that you hear is... FREEZE!!

You can't imagine moving a muscle because you realize you're in trouble but you can't remember why you would've been robbing a convenient store in the first place. 

You wake from your dream to find that you're stuck in the middle of your own life because some of the tag you're wearing are labeled with the roles you play in your life and these tags, can't be simply removed. You realize that the dream was a representation of your current life circumstance and the fact that everyone who you love, including yourself, is being faced with a major struggle.

... all at the same time!

You're feeling spread too thin and you're scrambling to satisfy the needs of everyone who you are important to. 

You're having trouble reaching yourself because you're completely frozen, thoughtfully trying to figure out how to move again. 

Episode #46 Start by Stopping is another episode that discusses taking a moment to breathe in the middle of a chaotic time in life. Listen HERE

Details matter...

or

Do they?

Someone recently told me that I'm a very #perceptive person. I picked it up as a positive tag and also feel very proud to be considered a person who has insight, discernment and observant, all synonyms of perceptive. Although I gladly picked up this tag as an extremely generous compliment, I also am keenly aware of how my ability to pick up nuance and detail also has a tendency to cause problems in my life. 

Today's episode on Tear Out the Tags, The Podcast is about the tag #perceptive. Click the link in my bio to check out the episode.

Tags like #outcast and #outsider often come with a negative definition. You may have experienced walking through a season in your life or many seasons in your life where you just felt like you didn't belong and perhaps didn't even want to "fit in". 

Each and every one of you was born to stand out but so much time is spent in your younger years trying to figure out why you feel like such an outsider... Why people don't seem to have so much trouble understanding you. 

When I look back at the times where I felt like that, it was because I was SOOOO busy exploring and changing that it was almost impossible for most people to understand me and accept me for who I was. After all, the ME deep inside was still and always will be being developed. 

Imagine that as an outcast, you get to be a little bird that is soaring above all of your life experiences. Landing only long enough to perch and breath in that particular life season. In some ways that makes the tag #outcast seem like a positive as you figure out how to enjoy the freedom to fly into new life experience.