LOST IN THE LABELS

Fight, Flight or Freeze...

Which one do you defer to when you are faced with conflict?

I often tell people that when I'm faced with conflict I defer to tears, emotion and embarrassment OR I will rip your face off. Now, I like to think I'm joking when I saw that I will rip your face off BUT I do have an edgy side that I've had to work really hard to soften. As I've worked on my FIGHT or FLIGHT tendencies, I've noticed that I also have a tendency to land in the FREEZE zone. Completely paralyzed by the avoidance of conflict that I just don't want to deal with so that I can protect myself from the fight and flight habits that I've worked SOOOO hard to break. 

This new freeze stage that I've discovered has unfortunately led to a habit of being indecisive so I have to carefully and consciously attach the tag decisive in order to move forward through and past the conflict without showing up as someone I don't want to be. 

What defensive space do you enter when you are faced with conflict? Fight, Flight or Freeze?

I didn't lose my voice... I muted my own microphone!!

When I was a sophomore in high school, I majorly botched the National Anthem at a high school Varsity football game. I actually sang the same line of the song twice and it was incredibly embarrassing. Within a few days of handling the teasing and mocking that ensued, I decided that I would never EVER sing again in public as long as I live. That might sound #dramatic but I made that decision and didn't sing again in public until I was thirty three years old. 

Often, when I tell this story, I tell people that this embarrassing high school memory was the start of losing my voice. However, as I was thinking about this memory today, I realized that I didn't lose my voice... I muted my own microphone. I actually made the decision to mute my own voice and the thoughts, ideas and talent that I had to share with the world. 

Have you ever muted your own mic?

Ben Killoy is a Marine Veteran, father and podcaster who shares his message with other Veteran fathers who are walking through the same seasons in life. He messaged me a while back and said that an episode inspired him and made him think of the phrase Tapped Out, which is a term used in wrestling when you give the match. He said tapped out feels the same way, like you're so strained and full of tags that you just want to give up. 

In this episode he also talks about wearing the tag #benchwarmer and how it kept him from chasing a lot of his goals, even as a adult. I think this perspective relates to so many men and also to athletes who have stepped through the competitive nature of sports. 

You can get in touch with Ben on Instagram HERE

You can also listen to his fantastic podcast, Military Veteran Dad's Podcast HERE

Do you ever feel like a burden to others?

There are a lot of ways that the tag #burden can show up in life. You can feel like an

emotional burden...

physical burden...

financial burden...

mental burden...

energy burden...

...and there are probably many other ways that we can feel that we burden others. 

I recently have been handed a new life challenge that has caused some unique conversations around my household and suddenly I'm very fearful that my husband see's me as a #burden. Side note, he doesn't, but it's one of my greatest fears particularly within a relationship that someone who loves me could see me as a heavy weight to carry. 

I have a few friends that are dealing with the tag #burden in other ways as well and I talk about that here on the show today. 

I'd love to hear from you about the #burden tag in your life and what you're doing to tear out that tag! 

[email protected]

Today's my 35th birthday! What a year it has been! Never in my life would I have believed you if you told me that this year would've looked like it did. I started 2020 with an idea called Tear Out the Tags and here we are a year and some change later with that idea coming to life. 

I never was the person who thought about the legacy I was leaving behind, except maybe the fact that I wanted to leave behind important values and love for my children. Now, I have such a desire to wear the tag memorable because this message matters so much to me and I believe it could matter to the world when it gets into the hands of people that need it. 

Today's podcast episode is about being #memorable and is a bit silly in honor of my big birthday. 

Cheers!

Ed Beard is one of the wisest and most curious men I know. I was lucky enough to meet him and his wife, Janet McCrackin, when I rented office space from them a few years ago. Ed and Janet began to see me through a lens that I didn't own the glasses for. At the time, my identity was completely wrapped up in how others saw me and not in how I saw myself. 

Ed and Janet began to mentor me and help me see what they saw in me. Today's episode is special because Ed is a mentor, coach, friend and father figure to me. 

He is a brilliant executive coach and their company offers unique training programs to large corporations around America. For more information on Ed Beard and Janet McCrackin visit www.theemployersedge.com 

You can also send Ed a DM on Instagram HERE

I was blessed to host James Norris on my podcast today, the recording will be airing soon. As I was preparing to introduce this amazing human being, I realized that all of the labels he wears that represent the roles he plays in life don't do him justice AT ALL. Though he's accomplished some unbelievable things, he's simply so much more then one can be tagged.

I decided that James is #everydayextraordinary, meaning that he's one of few people who are walking around in the world just waiting to help out a human in need. He lives his life to champion for others and does an incredible job of doing just that. If you aren't paying attention to the people around you who are everyday extraordinary, those people will walk right out of your life as quickly as they arrived. Make sure you're not focused on people with perceived importance because you'll miss the most important relationships you've ever had. 

James sent me an amazing gift in the mail today with my favorite scripture written on it. 

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

James 1:19

Go check him out on Instagram @handi_capable_fitness