This week, our focus was really about grief and how it shows up in the creative life, especially when things do not unfold the way you imagined they would. How important it is to know that loss and disappointment can interrupt your relationship with your creativity, but they can also become moments of redirection when you understand how to stay connected to yourself while moving through them.
We talked through what it actually looks like to pivot when something hurts, and how strength is rebuilt by staying present with pain instead of letting it shut you down or pull you away from yourself.
Then there’s how criticism, loss, and unmet expectations can impact artists in very different ways, and why discernment and small, intentional steps matter when it comes to having sustainable creative momentum over time.
What’s here makes sense on its own, but there’s another layer underneath it where beauty, neuroscience, and metaphysics start doing something more interesting.
The Dark Divines is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my art, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
1. Survival
This essay really brought up the importance of having a healthy ego as an artist, especially when it comes to discernment around feedback and criticism. Not everyone needs to have access to what you are making, and not all input is meant to be taken in or applied. Be picky, intentionally.
It also brought up how devastating loss can feel in the life of an artist. When something doesn’t work out, it can feel really personal because your creativity is connected to who you are. Making space for that loss is crucial, because when you don’t acknowledge it, it festers and starts to affect how you show up creatively.
The author talks about pain as fuel, but I feel it’s more than that - pain is directional. Pain shows you where something is off, where you might be malnourishing yourself, or where more care is needed. When you listen to that instead of rushing past it, it can help you move forward with more clarity instead of shutting down.
2. Ivy Power
There is this assumption that you have to choose between being intellectual and being creative, and I don’t agree with that at all. I’m not anti-intellectual, but I am very clear about how much elitism lives in academic spaces, especially the idea that once something has been collectively agreed upon, that is the only way it can be understood.
You see this all the time with intuition and spirituality being dismissed as irrational or unserious, even though most of what is considered “proven” now has been practiced intuitively and spiritually for hundreds of years. Science and spirituality are not opposites. A lot of the time, science is just spirituality that has finally been measured and accepted. I SAID WHAT I SAID.
I see it as this: creativity lives in the body, and intellect lives in the mind. When those two are allowed to work together, you move through the world as a whole person. That integration makes it easier to trust yourself, share your work, and stop splitting yourself in two in order to belong.
3. Gain Disguised as a Loss
This essay was truly about pivoting so you can focus on what you actually want instead of what you were handed/thought you were supposed to want.
Grief shows up again by being able to open doors you didn’t know were available. Sometimes loss is what breaks you out of narrow thinking or conditioning you didn’t realize you were still operating under. Grief has a way of stripping things down so you can see what’s actually true for you.
Instead of getting stuck in “why me,” the question shifts to “what’s next,” and that question doesn’t require a huge leap. It asks for small steps that help you deepen your skill set and move forward without overwhelming yourself.
Pain, in this context, is information. It shows you where to redirect your energy and how to move in a way that’s more aligned.
4. Age and Time, Product and Process
There is a lot of pressure placed on timing when it comes to creativity, we’ve all been indoctrinated to do the impossible in our youth in order to feel exceptional. Especially around the idea that you should already be somewhere else by now (how boring right?), and that pressure can quietly convince people to stop before they ever really begin.
When we dig deeper we can see how living in a culture where everything is constantly documented, measured, and shared makes experimentation feel more vulnerable than it needs to be. Society has somehow decided that the act of trying, changing your mind, or being visibly in process is a risk instead of a natural part of being creative. Essentially there’s a cost to being cringe (this is such a good title!)
Creativity does not operate on a straight or predictable timeline, and it is not something that ever truly reaches a final endpoint, because your art keeps evolving as you do. When the focus shifts away from outcomes and proof and back toward process, curiosity, and presence, the work becomes less about proving worth. You reroute your inner artist towards the path of staying connected to what wants to move through you.
You do not need to produce something polished, impressive, or complete in order to justify your desire to create, because that desire was never conditional in the first place.
5. Filling the Form
Filling the form is about learning how to take small, supportive steps without turning creativity into an all-or-nothing situation.
Many of us as artist have a common pattern, of believing that everything has to change before creativity is allowed to exist, and that belief often shows up as pressure to quit a job, leave a relationship, move somewhere new, or completely overhaul life in order to finally begin. That kind of thinking can feel decisive and brave, but can slip and slide into postponing the work itself.
When energy gets pulled into logistics, emotional intensity, survival mode, or managing chaos, creativity will go to the backburner instead of being a priority. What actually sustains creative momentum is learning how to work with what already exists and allowing creativity to live inside your current reality rather than waiting for ideal conditions to appear.
This is where the magic in the mundane becomes practical. Small, repeatable actions taken consistently will be easier to build more momentum than dramatic antics that burn you out or distract you from why you wanted to create in the first place.
There is also an important distinction to hold around safety. When we don’t feel safe in an environment, emotionally or otherwise, we will struggle to create. At the same time, the belief that everything has to be completely settled before creativity can happen often becomes another form of self-sabotage, since life is rarely quiet or resolved for long. We have to enjoy the dance of finding that middle ground.
Let’s be real, you know artists carry a lot of intensity, and though society will try to tell us it’s a problem it’s truly not. The problem shows up when there is no healthy container for it. Without consistent creative outlets, that energy often spills into relationships, impulsive decisions, or patterns that undermine the very dreams someone is trying to build. Creative practice gives that intensity somewhere to go without creating unnecessary destruction.
Creativity requires activity, and when that activity is grounded, repeatable, and informed by care rather than urgency, it becomes sustainable. Over time, that steadiness is what restores clarity, confidence, and satisfaction in the creative life.
What’s here makes sense on its own, but there’s another layer underneath it where beauty, neuroscience, and metaphysics start doing something more interesting.
💡 Main Exercise
The main exercise in the book for this week is called Early Patterning. I’m choosing not to include it here.
That exercise can be very triggering, and in my opinion, anything that intentionally brings up early wounds should be done with immediate support, grounding tools, and the ability to process what comes up in real time. Dropping something like that into written notes without that container does not feel ethical to me as a practitioner.
If you have the book and feel resourced enough to work with that exercise on your own, you are absolutely welcome to do so. For our purposes here, we’re taking a different approach.
Instead, we’re working with affirmations, because they offer a way to integrate what this week brings up without overwhelming your nervous system. These affirmations help reinforce your right to create, your right to take up space as an artist, and your ability to stay in relationship with your creativity as you heal.
My suggestion is to use these affirmations while tapping on your EFT sweet spot or through the tapping points you’re already familiar with. You can work with them slowly, choose a few that feel most relevant, or move through all of them as a way to gently integrate the themes from this week.
Affirmations
* I am a talented person.
* I have a right to be an artist.
* I am a good person and a good artist.
* Creativity is a blessing I accept.
* My creativity blesses others.
* My creativity is appreciated.
* I now treat myself and my creativity more gently.
* I now treat myself and my creativity more generously.
* I now share my creativity more openly.
* I now accept hope.
* I now act affirmatively.
* I now accept creative recovery.
* I now allow myself to heal.
* I now accept Divine’s help unfolding in my life.
* I now believe the Divine loves artists.
Weekly Tasks
1. Goal Search
This exercise may feel challenging. Let yourself do it anyway.
If more than one dream surfaces, complete the exercise for each one. Imagining a dream in concrete detail helps move it out of abstraction and into reality. Think of this as a preliminary architect’s drawing for the life you want to build.
Start with: “In a perfect world, I would secretly love to be a…”
Then name one concrete goal that signals accomplishment for you. This is your emotional true north. Two people can want the same thing but be oriented toward very different outcomes. What matters is what feels true to you.
From there, ask: Where would you like to be in five years? What can you do this year to move closer? What can you do this month, this week, today, and right now?
Choose one small action and begin.
If this feels difficult, you can also work with my You Can Live Your Dream Life Now visualization meditation as a daily support. It’s designed to help you feel your dream life through your senses and stabilize your nervous system around receiving it.
2. New Childhood
Imagine what you might have been like if you had received perfect nurturing.
Write one page describing that childhood. What were you given? What support did you have? How was your creativity treated?
Then ask yourself if there are ways you can begin reparenting yourself in that direction now.
3. Color Schemes
Choose a color and write a few sentences describing yourself as that color, in the first person.
Pay attention to how that color makes you feel, where it already shows up in your life, and where you might want more of it. Consider how color supports your nervous system, your creativity, and your sense of safety.
4. Five Forbidden Acts
Make a list of five things you are “not allowed” to do.
You don’t need to act them out literally. Write them, draw them, paint them, collage them, or express them symbolically. Then put on music and let your body move.
This is about giving intense or restricted energy somewhere safe to go.
5. Style Search
List 20 things you’d like to do.
For each one, ask: Does this cost money or is it free? Is it expensive or simple? Is it alone or with others? Does it involve physical risk? Is it fast or slow? Does it nourish the mind, body, or spirit?
Notice the patterns that emerge.
6. Ideal Day (As Life Is Now)
Design a perfect day based on your current life.
Use what you’ve learned from the tasks above and let yourself imagine a day that feels resourced, grounded, and creatively supportive without waiting for your life to change.
7. Ideal Day (No Restrictions)
Now design a perfect day without limits.
Include your ideal environment, work, relationships, creative expression, and pace. Let yourself be honest about what you want, even if it feels unrealistic or far away.
8. Live One Festive Detail
Choose one element from your ideal day and bring it into your real life this week.
You might not be able to move cities or change everything, but you can shift the texture of your day. This could be a drink, a meal, an outfit, a ritual, or a moment of slowness.
These tasks pair beautifully with visualization work and are also great for updating your Lotus Life Deck.
Additional Support
If you find yourself struggling to dream clearly or imagine what you actually want, that’s normal.
A lot of us have been conditioned, disappointed, or broken down by life in ways that make desire feel inaccessible or unsafe. When that happens, it’s not a lack of vision; it’s a protective response.
I often use my Visualize Your Dream Life Now guided meditation as support when I need help reconnecting to desire without forcing it. It’s a visualization practice designed to help you feel your dream life through your senses and gently reintroduce possibility in a grounded way.
You can listen to it daily or use it alongside the tasks above, especially when you feel blank, stuck, or disconnected from what you want.
I’ll leave the link here so you can return to it as often as you need: 👉
Weekly Check-In
* How many days did you complete your Morning Pages this week? Did you feel tempted to abandon them at any point, and if so, what do you think that was about?
* Did you take your Artist Date this week? What did you choose to do, and how did it feel in your body while you were doing it?
* Did you notice any moments of synchronicity or coincidence this week? If you did, what stood out to you about them?
* Were there any experiences, emotions, or realizations this week that felt significant for your creative recovery? If so, name them without judgment.
You may find that your sense of strength feels a little shaky this week, and that makes sense.
Anytime we start looking honestly at grief, disappointment, loss, or the ways life has redirected us, those themes tend to surface not just intellectually but in real time. Things come up in your body, in your relationships, in your motivation, and in how willing you feel to be seen or to keep going.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing this wrong. It means you’re paying attention.
This week is less about pushing through and more about staying with yourself as you notice what arises. Strength doesn’t always feel bold or confident. Sometimes it looks like choosing not to abandon yourself while things feel unresolved.
Next session, we’ll be exploring Recovering a Sense of Compassion, and I’m looking forward to continuing this work with you.
Feel free to share in the comments or the Substack chat what your Artist Date looked like this week or anything that came up for you.
Get full access to The Dark Divines at lotuslaloba.substack.com/subscribe
