It’s time for another voyage of E-Motion Sickness: A Love Boat Re-Watch, and this one’s got everything you want out of classic late-70s TV chaos. Joining John and Franco this trip is artist and pop culture lifer Andy Price, ready to break down Episode 3. An hour packed with crushes, awkward reunions, and Julie getting absolutely zero help from the romance gods.

You’ve got Kristy McNichol going all-in on Scott Baio like it’s teen magazine fan fiction come to life, while exes Robert Reed and Loretta Swit collide on deck with their new significant others… because nothing says “relaxing cruise” like unresolved baggage in formal wear.

And poor Julie? She just can’t buy a win. Every time she thinks she’s got a promising passenger date, the universe steps in and says, “Not on this boat.”