Commitment ceremony : first up we hear about Jules boobies 😳 Srsly??? Are we 10 year olds with a calculator in maths class? Speaking of maths, Shari would prefer “MAFS class” at least we would have a chance of passing 😉 We are starting to think Jessika with a K is a low key genius using her power of STAY to achieve pissing off Farmer Wants a Wife, staying another week for Dan AND putting Farmer in punching distance of her Dad and brother in one foul swoop. Like we said...GENIUS! Vee has banished Susies Madonna inspired lace number to join Cams bow tie, Michaels shirts and Kylie Jenner’s hat on the Hate pile for immediate incineration.

The Dinner Party : Usually the epicentre of fashion on planet MAFS we are sad to report the fashion police had to make some arrests tonight. Farmer wants a Wife will be doing hard time for the fashion fail of shorts and double pluggers and Cams bow tie was immediately banished to our hate pile to be burned. Jessika with a K has set her sights on Dan and we are not that upset about it. Does that make us co conspirators or worse (dramatic music) part of the mean girl gang? 😳 Magic Mike makes Vees’ Love List for the first time all season while Sharis’ fondness for Billys’ cooking and his calendar 😉😉 have him in her good books.

This ep takes reality tv waaaaayyyy too close to actual reality between the sheep shit, washing the dogs butt and Micks farts we are OVER the back door poop fest and just....STOP!!!. We are left pining for our Sydney apartment with Harbourside views, Mels’ cute designer dresses and Kylie Jenner’s pamper sessions with her dishy husband. Suddenly we are pulled from our day dream and land with a thud in some pretty fucked up interpersonal situations not the least of which is Mick calling Jessika with a Ks family for all the names under the sun! 😳😳😳 Bad move Mick....just sayin.

Home town visits : Is it just us or are some of these bach pads just Air BnBs being passed off as the guys houses?? No? Just us then... And just quietly - where in the hell is Tam & Dan??? 😳 Someone lodge a missing persons report! Shari needs Jules to put away the bedazzler as Vee starts a “go fund me” page so we can evac Jessika with a K off Micks’ farm. 🐷🐮🐔🐥🐴🦆

Tonight we learn never to write poetry for Mel (or Vee for that matter!!) and if Michael is keen for more pamper sessions and a reality TV binge fest, Shari is up for it! Commitment ceremony decisions tonight; will they Stay or Leave? The bigger question is - will we Love or Hate? 🥰😡

As our hero Rachel Zoe would say “I Die” This ep has ALL.. THE. DRAMA. Mean girls Kylie Jenner and Jessika with a K are at their mean and catty best (or worst) Farmer Wants A Wife has egg on his face and it’s not a metaphor. Like, literally egg on his face while he is trying to kiss is wife 🤮 Mel and Dino are so over they are over which is probably good timing as new couples Tam and Dan along with the other couple who’s names we will not commit to memory as they won’t be here long enough enter their first dinner party.

Pride and Prejudice, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Bridesmaids quotes all get a run tonight as mean girls “Jessika with a K” and Kylie Jenner with their stupid smirks shit-stir Cyrell into a Hulk-style frenzy. Now Cyrell....you need to remember when we are upset we use our words and not our hands. Nick the saint is sticking in there (just). New couples Dan & Tam and Billie & Suzie are on their romantic (read boring) honeymoons. This ep is really just the air in the bag of popcorn we are heating in the microwave ready for tomorrow nights dinner party!!

🎶 Ding dong the witch is dead...which old witch? Ines the witch! 🎶 Cyclone Cyrell brought a house down on Ines and only her old cruddy work pumps and Supre inspired dress remain to mark Ines’ MAFS experience. Did the sun seem to shine much brighter and the birds sing more beautifully today or was that just us?!? Tonight Ines might be gone but Cam is just goooooone. He is still jumping on furniture and dude....just....STOP! We have important news! New play things!!!! Two new couples enter the experiment which means new back stories to discover, new cray cray family members to meet, new fashion choices to judge and we seriously have no time for any silliness, unless it’s your silliness Queen Cyrell. 👑❤️

D.R.A.M.A with a capital D! Not the least of which was Dino giving the gift of kangaroo scrotum. Dino - like we always say here at Love Hate Debate, if they didn’t want it then, is it really a gift? Heidi is given a mirror by Dr John who tells her to take a good hard look at herself which has Mike smirking up a storm. A few loved up couples are dotted amongst the car crashes to keep us all on our toes. Sam the lying douche and Innes the cheating ^+#+& are finally revealed...but somehow we are still unsatisfied. Karma - over to you!

Dinner party : Mike and Heidi are simply devo at their ranking as the #1 most uninteresting couple continues. Lizzy has fallen into a deep depression and can’t even get fired up about her fake husbands affair - somebody order the bucket of Nutella stat!! Disappointment all round as nobody wore a hat with their ensemble so we are off to the $2 shop to buy Cyrell a crown. All hail Queen Cyrell.