The competition for most conspicuous hat of the season kicks up a gear as Martha’s pink after dark hat (srsly WTF??!) takes on Cams oversized panama. Serious vommie in the mouth when Sam and Ines wake up together. Lizzy has made a miraculous recovery (we assume she was diagnosed as being clinically sick of Sams shit) and we start our campaign for a MAFS reunion show. As Superfans we humbly offer our services as hosts ; Andy Cohen step aside the Love Hate Debate girls have arrived!

Fun awaits as our couples are headed north to the Gold Coast sans Lizzy. You will be pleased to know we have an APB out for our MIA cast member. We are at the beach, Movie World and the bowling alley as the couples relationships are tested in the pressure cooker of a group holiday, explains John the “expert” and just...no. Thanks John-boy we’ve been on holidays that have gone to hell in a hand basket...I think we can do this without your help. #surfsup

Episode 13 - unlucky for some and even unluckier for Lizzy as she is still missing and literally nobody seems particularly concerned. Shall I call the cops?? Everyone else is at various stages of Love (Like) and Hate but the only couple that decided to leave is Lauren and Matt. (Not the bombshell we were hoping for) RIP Matt’s Morse Code and Lauren’s attempts at contouring. Never give up Loz - either on the contouring or on L❤️VE!!

Elizabeth. Elizabeth where for art thou? The Dinner Party takes place tonight but nobody seems to worried that Lizzie is not in the room and they potentially need to consider lodging a missing persons report. Lots of PDA from the loved up couples, an argument then PDA from Cyrell and Nick but total confusion from Matt who a week ago was a virgin but is now faced with a bi sexual, partner swapping wife and is secretly signalling via Morse Code with his blinking S E N D H E L P N O W!

“Yes Week” shenanigans continue as one more couple reveal they have got particularly intimate...while the cricket was playing in the background. One guess which couple 🙄🙄🙄 Chat about swinging and wife swapping which surprisingly wasn’t from Ines and Sam who are on the train to Loserville #toottoot

A session with Dr John leaves us all thinking that therapy is a total rip off & wondering if he really gets paid for this??!! Then moving in together and “Yes Week” proves fun & games for some and just plain old “getting played” for others when Ines and Sam start their version of the Dean and Davina Show! Let the games begin.

There is a C word used in this episode TIP : it’s not “Commitment Ceremony” Who will stay for love? Who will stay for Insta fame. Who will try and escape...we mean leave? The Bro code is out in force and a couple of apologies roll off tongues. Some more sincere than others.

Honey I’m home!! 🤮 Tonight we are at the dinner party which must be our 1st or 2nd most favourite day of the week. Who will dominate? Who will lose their shit? Who will pour a glass of wine over Sam for being an a**hole and turning up after 5 days of ghosting Lizzy...oh wait that’s what we’d love to do. Dinner is served...bon appetit!

Round two of Honeymoons ensue except for Lizzy who we think is being held against her will by producers and has taken to diving head first into barrels of Nutella to dull her senses after Sam spent the last week playing tootsies with his ex at her mothers “funeral”. Kylie Jenner and Michael go to Samoa where we get to take in the full glory of their beach bods. Ines & Bronson head to Port Douglas and Bronson literally flies away. Matt & Lauren are in wine country where we all get the pleasure of collectively taking Matt’s virginity. Cigarette anyone?

Runaway groom with a dead mother in law (you couldn’t make this shit up 😳😂) Then we meet the final couples Ines (beelzebub) and Bronson (run, Forrest run!!) & Kylie Jenner lookie - likey Martha and teacher Michael.