Love, Life, Legacy: A Show About Sex

In this age of technology, where social media has become the open gate for people sharing or exchanging opinions on matters that may revolve around personal, social, or political ideas, one must practice how honesty is used in these situations.

Whenever an issue pops up, people start to react, and that is the first thing most people share in their comments. Either positively or negatively, we react to what our minds tell us. People react to what they want to say, whether it is offensive or not. It creates a boundary on whether our opinion is truly ours or just based on what we hear from others.

In a sense, our freedom to speak must be based on how we respond to things around us. When we respond, we observe how we address ourselves in the conversation. The awareness that we should consider, the response we should give to others, as well as whether or not we are being truthful in our response. This does not only convey how we engage with other people but also how we engage with ourselves.

Listen to Episode 161 to learn more!

• Responding vs. Reacting [00:50]
• Freedom and Awareness [02:36]
• Stages of Self-Awareness: Still Cathing to Old Habits [04:55]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [06:40]
• Stages of Self-Awareness: Acknowledge Progress [08:00]
• Stages of Self-Awareness: Getting Ahead of Yourself [08:46]
• The Different Areas of Our Lives [10:22]
• Reflecting on Oneself [13:48]

It takes a huge step for all of us to be 100% honest with ourselves and with other people. The courage to believe in who we are bets on what the world considers acceptable and unacceptable.

We tend to cover ourselves with blankets in order to avoid the judgments that other people might give us. But in reality, we are risking our relationships with other people. It is not just with our partners, but also with our family and friends.

Being truthful is hard, but it is more satisfying knowing that we are courageous enough to believe in ourselves rather than what the world thinks is best for us.

Listen to Episode 160 to learn more!

• The Possibility of Something Better [01:53]
• Bravery and Taking the Risk [03:14]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [5:50]
• The Truth About Oneself [07:07]
• Being Truthful in Matching [09:26]
• The Real vs. Fake [09:34]
• Building that Courage and Trust [11:54]

There is a deep sense of longing for most people, and it sometimes leads some to devour negative things or actions. The North Star Goal emphasizes its aim to help people build and understand their sense of identity.

In these modern times, people struggle to understand that deep sense of meaning that defines who we are. Most of us wanted to instantly have the answers to our problems; some even sought to have these answers in an instant, but instead, this resulted in more problems.

The North Star Goal wanted people to see how we can achieve happiness in life without relying on addiction; without relying on what we thought would be better for us but actually destroys us. Its mission is to assist people in discovering their healthy pleasures in life.

Listen to Episode 159 to learn more!

• What North Star Goal Is [01:03]
• Looking for that Deep Sense of Meaning [03:26]
• Our Strong Desires [05:17]
• The North Star Goal Power [07:02]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [08:10]
• Building Connections [12:09
• Achieving to Be a Healthy Person [14:16]

There is a saying that the only constant in this world is change. But some people think that change is a big risk to take. There are five stages of change that can help people become more fulfilled in life.

The first stage is being trapped and unaware that people need change. Some people are predisposed to recognize the need for change in their lives. Their mindset is based on the idea that they do not have any problems right now, and even if they did, why bother to change the routine that they have?

The second stage is slowly opening ourselves to the idea that change is possible and can have a more positive impact on our lives.

The third stage points toward preparing ourselves for the change that we want. Most people who have opened themselves to change internalize the process of getting the change they need.

The fourth stage is putting your best foot forward by starting with the change you want. It is a matter of pursuing ourselves so that this change can help us be better and have that progression in life.

The fifth stage focuses on maintaining the change that you have made in your life. Being consistent in our actions establishes a new practice that ensures we will not revert to our old selves and will be purposeful in engaging ourselves in more positive aspects of life.

Listen to Episode 158 to learn more!

• Building a Roadmap of Change [00:26]
• The Highnoon Roadmap to Sexual Integrity [04:03]
• Stage One: Trapped and Unaware in the Same Process [05:21]
• Stage Two: Open to Suggestions [16:37]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [24:59]
• Stage Three: Edge of Change [25:35]
• Stage Four: Taking Action [31:35]
• Stage Five: Maintenance for Lifetime [39:12]
• The ASCEND Program [48:05]

There are so many hifalutin words we can use describe life, but if we do away with being metaphorical, we'd all agree with this direct description: life is stressful.

Anywhere you go, no matter what you do, whether you're rich or poor, no matter who you are, there is no getting away with stress. You're bound to feel stressed in one way or another. In fact, it is a major contributor to many of the health problems people encounter.

But stress is not only a culprit to many of our health hazards, it is also translated in so many things that we don't easily recognize are effects of stress. Some develop anger issues, others resort to porn, to addiction, video games, social media, alcohol, drugs, and so many more distractions, ultimately leading to one thing—destruction.

Life is designed to have stress. It's a staple and it's one of the many things that makes us humans. But how we respond is what either makes us or breaks us.

Listen to Episode 157 to learn more!

• Experience of stress in relation to porn [2:52]
• Porn as a form of escapism [3:41]
• Stress is a response to a stressor [6:28]
• How you choose to interpret situations [12:20]
• Interpreting other people's aggression [13:36]
• Preventative side of stress [14:02]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [19:07]
• The importance of stress inoculation [19:35]
• Tips for managing stress [20:50]
• Anger as a form of coping mechanism from stress [29:10]

We have to admit it—the world we live in is fully subscribed to the idea of worldliness.

We are now in a time where earthly desires are welcomed, masked and embraced with the idea of normalcy. And so oftentimes, we find ourselves rationalizing and saying: It's normal. It's what everybody does. It's all around us.

But normalcy isn't synonymous with righteousness.

No. The earthly things that we resort to in order to express our feelings of sexuality are not the proper channels. Rather, these could stray us into addiction and later on lead us to destruction.

What we have to understand is that the external is always the manifestation of what's inside. What you do is not only because of the external forces that trigger you. There is something deep in yourself that gets affected by these outside forces. And so inspecting the inner workings of your sexuality is a way to see how this translates to the external actions that you resort into doing. And in this introspection of yourself, your sexuality, your triggers, and your earthly desires lies the path to spirituality that fosters your connection to God.

Listen to Episode 156 to learn more!

• What does the internal nature of sexuality look like in our hyper-sexualized culture? [7:33]
• How our nervous system is designed for love [12:17]
• Your path in harnessing your sexuality? [17:34]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [24:45]
• Connection as the opposite of addiction [27:03]
• Sunsetting sex [37:47]
• Criminalizing extramarital sex in Bali and Indonesia [41:51]

No matter how old we are, we still learn something new. That's the beauty of life.

Jim Stinard joins us on this episode to talk about his journey with the Spartan program, a six-week program for sexual integrity. Jim has struggled with porn addiction all his life, and after fifty years he boldly faced his issues and opened himself up to learning new things, taking on new experiences, and making new connections with fellow program participants.

More resources you might like:

• How to Be a Spartan Warrior & Defeat Porn
• Choosing Your Identity
• The "I Need to Release" Rumors

Listen to Episode 155 to learn more!

• Why Jim decided to get serious about quitting [3:21]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [6:27]
• The most impactful thing Jim started doing that helped him with his sexual integrity [8:44]
• What people with porn addiction can do to help themselves [10:14]
• The Six Segments of the Spartan Program [11:46]
• The High Noon Community: We are better together [12:52]

If you've been listening to this show for quite some time now, then you know how we often talk about our North star goals and why this is important.

Each one of us has dreams and goals in life. And they may start out to be pure, innocent, bold, and audacious. But as we grow older, we tend to be disconnected from our goals because of the changes we encounter throughout the different phases of our lives. Some good, some bad, but altogether different. And these changes can somehow realign us from what we originally thought about where we would be and what we would achieve in our lives.

This is why having a north star goal or dream in life is essential. It helps anchor us to the path we wish to take. It helps keep us grounded while also pushing us to achieve what we've set out for ourselves.

Listen to this episode to know why it's important to give birth to something that's important to you and how you can pour out the best of yourself to achieve your dream.

Listen to Episode 154 to learn more!

• Make the best use of your time and avoid aimless activities [4:10]
• Build a list of what you need to do and achieve to stay the course [8:22]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [10:32]
• Giving birth to something means pouring out the very best of yourself into something [12:20]
• The more you invest in a skill, the more it will flow through you [14:22]
• Having accountability brings you one step closer to giving birth to your dream [16:37]

Too much of something is never a good thing.

Whether it's simple things like eating sweets or something more serious like being on social media excessively, there's a huge chance that it will become an addictive habit or mindset.

But why do we get addicted in the first place? Addiction to something is usually a result of the dependency on that rush or high that we get from doing that act or habit repeatedly. A bad habit can create a "rewarding" effect, but that reward is definitely short-lived - or worse - is only masquerading as a benefit but is actually harmful to us.

Addiction can lead to many things, one of which is negativity. This negativity comes in different forms, and so it is a must that we unpack the cycle of addiction and trace it down to its core so we could find the way out of this vicious cycle.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy mapped out the stages of the addiction cycle and drilled down to its root cause. As important as knowing the reason why addiction happens is to understand that there is a pattern to it. Knowing your addiction pattern and what triggers it are helpful in breaking that destructive cycle.

Listen to Episode 153 to learn more!

• Unpacking the cycle of addiction [3:55]
• Emotional trigger on the top of the addiction cycle [5:03]
• How to deal with stress in a productive way [9:46]
• Unpacking the emotional reason why we do anything good or bad [11:38]
• Craving as the second part of the cycle [14:36]
• Rituals as the third part of the cycle [22:08]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [24:32]
• Using (as in substances) comes after the rituals [27:26]
• How do you break the cycle of addiction? [29:51]
• Shame or guilt is the last part of the cycle [30:40]
• The realization that despite your mistake, you are still worthy of love [34:28]

Gretchen Rubin's #1 New York Times Bestselling book, The Happiness Project, started with a question that she asked herself:

"What do I want from life, anyway? I want to be happy."

We may have asked ourselves the same question at least a dozen times in our lives, often with different answers. But one factor that we can attribute to the absence of happiness is when our standards are disconnected or unaligned with our ideals.

To achieve a life of peace, joy, integrity, and clarity, it is important to distinguish and delineate between standards and ideals while also understanding how one feeds into the other.

When we are unable to distinguish between the two, we feel stressed and pressured to live a life that is not authentic to us. Think about it: do your standards reflect the person that you want to be in those areas that you'd be proud of being? Are your standards taking you closer to your ideals to live a life of harmony? If not, why are you settling? And how are you settling? What do you need to do to adjust your standards?

In the realm of relationships and marriage, always remember that sexual integrity is an active, lifelong pursuit of being in line with your ideals. Even into marriage, into old age, there's always work to be done.

Listen to Episode 152 to learn more!

• What's the difference between a standard and ideal? [4:09]
• When is it worth compromising your standards? Is it even worth it? [9:23]
• Why is it important to have these standards? [4:15]
• The Blessed Couple Podcast [16:31]
• In line with your ideal and standards, how do you decide what is worth fighting for or not? [18:06]
• Without the ideals and purely focusing on just your standards, you'll be left with shame or justification [21:41]
• Misalignment with ideals and standards and not being open to work on it will cause that contradiction inside yourself. [24:34]
• Avoid making goals out of stress and stop and recalibrate instead. [28:51]