I was shadowmaxxing for years before I had a word for it.

When I sat down to write this week's Substack I started tracing the timeline of every wild, unexpected, how-did-that-even-happen moment in my life — and I was shook. Every single one of them arrived right after I stopped avoiding something and went into it instead. Every. Single. Time.

This episode is my box of receipts. The stories. The proof. The pattern that I cannot unsee and now you won't be able to either.

We get into the waterfall in Spain where Love Light and Black Holes was accidentally born from a panic attack.

The shadow work I did on my India trauma in 2018 that blew the dam open and started the flood.

The year I was celibate and fell in love with myself so completely that my husband showed up exactly as everything I'd written in my journal.

The grief after my dad died that opened me up to the most magical, liminal, creatively electric season of my entire life.

The month off I took before Afterglow launched that cleared the channel so completely it sold out without me chasing a single person. And the two book deals that landed in my inbox when I wasn't asking for them, because I was too busy getting out of my own way.

Shadowmaxxing didn't bring me where I wanted to go. It brought me somewhere my vision board couldn't even imagine. And I think you've been doing it too, you just didn't have a name for it yet!

The 7-day Shadowmaxxing Challenge starts August 24th!! It's just $14 to come build your own list of receipts with me. https://lovelightandblackholes.com/shadowmaxxing-challenge

Programs and Resources

1. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
2. MY SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. AFTERGLOW WAITLIST → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

This is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

Join the 7-day Shadowmaxxing Challenge to reverse engineer the fear behind your desire! WE start August 24 and it's only $14! For $2/day you can afford to get the F out of your own way! https://lovelightandblackholes.com/shadowmaxxing-challenge

Everyone in the spiritual space will tell you to surrender. Nobody tells you what that actually means.

Because most people hear surrender and picture one of two things: a white flag on a battlefield or a woman lying on a couch burning incense whispering "if it's meant to be it'll find me." And both of those images are completely wrong.

Surrender is not passive. It's active. It's the most neurologically demanding thing your nervous system is asked to do. Because you're being asked to move against a deeply wired biological survival mechanism that says control equals safety. It takes more strength than almost anything else. And when you understand how to actually do it, everything changes.

This episode is the full breakdown. We get into why the word surrender got such a bad reputation (spoiler: it's French military language and it literally meant defeat), the savasana analogy that reframes everything, the spectrum from fear to uncertainty to trust to surrender and how to move through it, and the Arizona house story, the most important decision I didn't make, that put me five minutes from my dad during his cancer treatment and gave me the most irreplaceable time of my life.

His last breath was my last in my old life. And my first in a whole new timeline.

That's what surrender gave me. I couldn't have manifested it. I would have manifested the wrong life.

Programs and Resources

1. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
2. MY SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. AFTERGLOW WAITLIST → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

This is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

One year ago, I launched Love, Light, and Black Holes because I needed somewhere to put my grief.

I had no grand strategy. No master content plan. Just a nervous system full of ghosts, a microphone, some lipstick, and a desire to make something meaningful out of a season that had completely rearranged my life.

365 days later, that “little grief project” has changed everything.

In this anniversary episode, I’m looking back at the year that led to a book deal, gave me the confidence to quit my job, helped me find my voice again, and showed me that something does not need millions of downloads to change your life.

I’m also sharing what comes next: becoming the CEO of my own creative life, learning how to build structure without killing the magic, and launching my new public experiment: growing The Afterglow publication on Substack to 10,000 subscribers before my second book, Love, Light, and Black Holes: Unflinching Shadow Work for a Messy, Magical, Modern Life, is published in spring 2027.

This is not a polished playbook from the other side. It is the messy middle, shared in real time.

We’re talking grief, devotion, discipline, creative visibility, entrepreneurship, shadow work, building a media company, and what happens when you finally decide to take your own work as seriously as you’ve taken everyone else’s.

• Why I started podcasting as a way to process grief
• How the podcast changed my life before it became conventionally “successful”
• What modest downloads taught me about impact
• The connection between devotion and discipline
• Why “following the energy” is not a complete business strategy
• My free-spirit-to-CEO identity crisis
• Why structure can protect creativity instead of suffocating it
• The story behind my upcoming book, Love, Light, and Black Holes
• Why I’m building an audience of 10,000 Substack subscribers before pub day
• What you can expect from the 10K Before Pub Day Experiment
• How to look back at your own year before deciding what comes next

Follow the full 10K Before Pub Day journey on The Afterglow, where I’ll be sharing the wins, failures, strategy, magic, numbers, lessons, and inevitable identity crises along the way. https://substack.com/@morgangarza

Programs and Resources

1. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
2. MY SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. AFTERGLOW WAITLIST → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

This is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

July 26th was one of the most astrologically stacked days of the year. The lunar nodes shifted, kicking off an 18-month cycle that governs every eclipse through March 2028. North Node into Aquarius, South Node into Leo. The Lion's Gate portal opened. Saturn went retrograde in Aries. And a total solar eclipse in Leo is coming on August 12th, which is IMO the most significant astrological event of 2026.

This episode breaks down each event separately and then ties them all together because the through line is impossible to ignore: authenticity is not a vibe right now. It's your business plan, your survival strategy, and your highest frequency.

Every single transit happening right now is asking the same question in a different language: are you performing or are you actually living your truth?

I get into the nodal shift from Leo to Aquarius and what the "weird money era" actually means. The Lion's Gate portal and why timing your beginnings intentionally isn't woo, it's strategy. Saturn retrograde's 4.5 month audit on everything you're building. And the total solar eclipse in Leo starting something that will grow over the next 6 months.

Also: listen to this again before August 12th. You're going to want the refresher.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott → https://a.co/d/0gjpu6hX
• Last week's episode: Look Back to Go Forward → https://pod.link/1831928960/episode/MjgyOGNlOWMtMGIyNC00ZWUyLThhODctMTIwMTJmM2QxMmVi
• Episode on not manifesting during eclipse season → https://pod.link/1831928960/episode/YjA1NmU4MTktMGFmNi00YTkxLWJiNTYtYjJjNjRiZGNiNGVl
• Node dates to look back on: 1998-2000 / 2007-2009 / 2017-2018

Programs and Resources

1. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
2. MY SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. AFTERGLOW WAITLIST → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

Remember when you wanted what you have now?!

This time last year I was ash. Seven months out from losing my dad, deep in grief, telling everyone I was writing a book without a single word on the page, driving to the tip of Baja Mexico in hurricane season, laying the very first brick of Love Light and Black Holes. I had no idea what I was doing. I just had audacity and a very clear why.

And now, I have a thriving podcast, my book is done and submitted. I quit my job and sold out my first program for a $10k launch. AAANNNDDD my Substack ranking 68 in culture on day one.

I am living the life I was journaling about wanting last year. And so many things happened that I didn't even know I wanted.

Looking back before you go forward. Honoring how far you've come not as nostalgia but as the most powerful fuel there is. Because you cannot move forward with full power while leaving all that evidence of your own capability on the table. And most of us are running on empty because we keep doing exactly that.

Programs and Resources

1. MY SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
2. AFTERGLOW WAITLIST → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
3. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

I just turned 40. And if I live to 80, goddess willing, this is midlife. This is it. And I'm not having a crisis. I'm having an initiation.

This episode is specifically for women. Because we are going through something right now that nobody prepared us for, that looks normal on paper, that doctors dismiss, and that we're quietly convinced means we're losing our minds. We're not losing our minds. We're losing our performance. And there is a massive difference.

If you were born between 1984 and 1995 you are in or entering your Uranus Opposition. This is the astrological transit that the culture calls a midlife crisis and that I'm calling a midlife reorganization. Paired with the Chiron Return coming in your late 40s and early 50s, and the perimenopause that nobody warned us was coming this early. You are being forged. Everything crumbling is not evidence that something went wrong. It's evidence that something is finally going right.

We get into the Uranus Opposition and what it's actually doing (dismantling the life you built for approval so the life you actually want can finally have room), the Chiron Return and why 50 is the beginning of your real power not the end of your relevance, and perimenopause. This hormonal shift chemically removes the infrastructure of people-pleasing and leaves you standing in the middle of everything you built going wait, I kind of really fucking hate this. That's not a breakdown. That's clarity.

I was forged through loss. My grief taught me more about myself than joy ever could. And I am now standing in the middle of everything I ever wanted. This is what the initiation is for. And I want that for you too.

Programs and Resources

1. NEW ME, NOW WHAT? → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/new-me-now-what-workshop
2. SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

NEW ME, NOW WHAT? is ready to help you get to where you want to go as the person you want to be. And the astrology this summer literally couldn't be more perfect.

Jupiter moved into Leo on June 30th and I felt it before I even checked my phone. The book is submitted. The program sold out. The Substack launched. I'm showing up on video even when the camera cuts out halfway through. This is Jupiter in Leo in practice. Not fearlessness, just doing it anyway and doing it loud.

This episode is about the two transits happening simultaneously right now that are completely changing the game. Jupiter in Leo is the year-long invitation to be seen, to create, to stop dimming yourself and step onto the stage your soul has been building toward. And Chiron in Taurus is the worth wound that just surfaced for all of us, asking the harder question: do you actually believe you deserve the visibility Jupiter is offering?

We get into why delulu is genuinely the solulu right now, what real visibility looks like versus performing for approval, how the worth wound shows up in the exact moments that count (and why you pull back right when things are about to click), and how to work with both of these transits in your actual life, not just in theory.

Also: I launched a Substack! The link is down below.

Programs and Resources

1. NEW ME, NOW WHAT? → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/new-me-now-what-workshop
2. SUBSTACK → https://substack.com/@morgangarza
3. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

I almost canceled my anniversary trip to the Grand Canyon.

Two weeks out, I was spiraling in my own head about my health, my adrenals, my anemia, my thyroid, all of it. I was THIS close to eating $1000 in permits and staying home.

And then I hiked 30 miles in 72 hours. Didn't stop once on the switchbacks out. Watched the sun rise over the canyon with my headlamp on and came out the other side thinking, "who IS this woman and where has she been?"

This episode is about fear. What it actually is, why it's so convincing, why your brain is genuinely just trying to protect you and also completely full of shit about what you can handle. I get into the Grand Canyon trip, losing my dad and surviving my greatest fear, having my confidence obliterated by grief and rebuilding it from scratch, and why I now believe with every cell in my body that fear has a terrible track record and you have a perfect one.

Your survival rate is 100%. You have not been taken out once. Fear doesn't know what you're made of. And it's time to stop letting it make your decisions.

This one moved through me. I hope it moves through you too.

Programs and Resources

1. NEW ME, NOW WHAT? 90-min workshop → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/new-me-now-what-workshop
2. AFTERGLOW → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
3. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

Sometimes I forget that most people don't sit around talking about death, soul contracts, the afterlife, and what really happens when everything falls apart. This episode gets into all of this and more. Get ready for a mind blow that will bring you back to your truth, your power, and your self-trust. BONUS: you might not be afraid of death after listening to this!

I get into:

• Soul contracts and why we chose our challenges before we got here
• The veil of forgetting and why the amnesia is the design not the flaw
• The difference between the dark night of the soul (which I don't actually believe in) and the dark night of the ego (which is what's actually happening)
• Why I'm not afraid of dying anymore
• How to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition when they feel impossibly similar
• And why when you're in the messy middle of "new me, now what" the worst thing you can do is ask everyone else what to do

Press play and listen with your soul, not your brain.

If you're stuck between who you were and who you're becoming, wondering "ok ... now what?" the workshop to get you through the messy middle is ready. Sing up for "NEW ME, NOW WHAT?" to see what's on the other side.

Books mentioned: Signs by Laura Lynn Jackson. Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss. Journey of Souls by Michael Newton.

Programs and Resources

1. NEW ME, NOW WHAT?: 90-min workshop → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/new-me-now-what-workshop
2. AFTERGLOW → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist-page
3. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
4. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
5. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
6. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
7. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/

I submitted my book to my publisher yesterday!! And my 8-week program AFTERGLOW is sold out! I'm sitting here buzzing, realizing I didn't vision board my way here. I didn't say affirmations in the mirror. I became someone that this was inevitable for. And there is a massive difference between those two things.

This episode is about manifestation vs magnetism.

It's what The Secret got right, what it left out, and why your cup being full of your own unprocessed stuff means that even when good things arrive, they can't root in and stay. Magnetism is the root system. Manifestation is the fruit. You cannot skip the underground work and expect the tree to stand.

In this episode I get into my story on what it looked like when the signal was jammed, when I couldn't string three sentences together after my dad died, when I genuinely believed I would never feel joy again. And what it looks like now on the other side of all of it, sitting in my full afterglow knowing the roots are what's holding me.

Shadow work equals magnetism equals manifestation. In that order. Every time.

Have a listen and give your affirmations a break until you understand the depth of magnetism!

Programs and Resources

1. AFTERGLOW waitlist → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/afterglow-waitlist
2. FREE Chiron Report to Find Your Shadow → https://shadow.lovelightandblackholes.com/
3. FREE Future Self Meditation → https://lovelightandblackholes.com/future-self-meditation
4. Follow me on Instagram → https://instagram.com/lovelightandblackholes → https://www.instagram.com/mogarz
5. My websites → https://lovelightandblackholes.com → https://morgangarza.com/
6. Get my book Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics → https://morgangarza.com/soul-magic-ancient-wisdom-for-modern-mystics/

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for education and inspiration only. If you’re struggling with mental health or medical conditions, please seek professional support.

The is a Maeluna Media Production https://maelunamedia.com/