"Love, Sex, Lies and Reality" Talks

As a woman, you may have wondered why a man is not loving you the way you want him to. You may get frustrated asking him and this may even lead to a breakup.

Reality is: Do you know how to love yourself so that he can seee it within you? 

"Love is not something you ask for, love is something you give and it is freely given to you. You can never love anyone from a place of pain/trauma including yourself." - excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

A man has to see you love yourself first. What you present to him must be authentic/real. If he cannot see you loving yourself first, he cannot love you the way you want to be love or even see it . He may also not have the love for himself yet. 

You have to understand that you are who you attract. If you are attracting someone who cannot love you, then you have not loved yourself yet. 

He is only going to bring to your awareness the need for you to heal, find and love yourself first.

This is why I created the Purposeful Relationship Inner Circle Monthly Membership. A safe community where you can learn to heal, find and love yourself so that you can become the love you wish to attract. 

If he does not have true love for himself, he will not know how to love you. 

This is the hard truth and reality you must embrace. This is why you have to work on yourself so that he can see you as the love you need. If he does not have it, you will not have to waste your time chasing, begging and pleading with him to stay. You will not become needy,  you will not have to settle for less, you will not become codependent or form trauma bonds with him. 

You will simply let him know right from the start that he is not the man for you. 

I invite you to join the Purposeful Relationship Inner Circle Monthly Membership and begin to learn to heal, find and love yourself first so that you can become the love you wish to attract and allow a man to see you that love so he can truly complement and be a reflection of the love you deserve to have.

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

Have you experienced a childhood pain/trauma that has resulted in you shutting down a part of yourself?

Emotional numbness happens when we experience pain/trauma. We shut down and do not want to deal with those parts of our story/journey. However, shutting down unconsciously results in us holding on to the pain than letting go of it.

We birth fear, ego and illusions into our world and begin to embrace pain. This results in us attracting more pain into our world while our thoughts become convoluted.

We become triggered once we connect with a partner who brings to our awareness those buried inner wounds/trauma we are yet to heal from. We project our pain/trauma on the partner and end up with conflicts which may result in a breakup. We end up becoming devastated while acquiring more pain without being consciously aware of it.

It may even be that you ghost or shut down during those conversations where your partner brings an awakening moment to your enlightment.  As a man, you walk away, tune in to your games or watch TV. You may ghost on your partner and later reappear as if nothing happened.

The more you shut down, the more pain you acquire and attract. Understand that: "Pain and love cannot co-exist. You can never love anyone from a place of pain including yourself." - excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

The more you become emotionally numb to yourself, the more you self-abuse, self-loathe and self-sabotage.  Understand that it is okay to feel and connect to the emotions to learn the lessons. Those lessons teach you about things you will not tolerate or repeat. They allow you to emerge and become better, stronger and wiser. This is how you build on your strength and become more resilient.

"Never shut off pain until it eats you up completely. Ensure you find someone you can confide in and trust, share your burdens, cry if you need to by letting it all out. No one is conditioned for pain. We all need to address it and let it go knowing that we cannot change the past but we can make a brighter future out of the lessons learned." excerpt, "Love, Sex, Lies and Reality." Copyright ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

Schedule a complimentary session with me to learn how to reconnect with your emotions.

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle www.kemisogunle.com

#selfabuse

Have you ever expected someone to do something for you but it turned out that they left you disappointed?

Expectations are a source of life lessons and blessings especially when we do not know ourselves.

They serve as an awakening to conscious living and healing. 

Without learning from the lessons expecations bring, we become resentful, bitter and self-sabotage.

Embrace the lessons and turn them into blessings as you gain a conscious awareness to the parts of you that need to heal so that you can move "Beyond the Pain" and "Become Restored."

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

#unrealisticexpectations

We often stay silent at the end of a relationship and craw into our shells. We may not have understood what transpired during the relationship and we may have stayed silent during the relationship without sharing our feelings with a partner.

You may have stayed silent to avoid #conflict or #deal with issues that reminded you of your painful childhood experiences and trauma.

Silence can result in self-abuse when you are not consciously aware of how the buried pain/trauma play a part in your life and relationship choices. You may have mastered silence as a child by being conditioned to stay silent that express yourself.

This may have resulted in you developing coping mechanisms that allow you to become a people pleaser while giving your power away.

You however must take your power back than allow yourself remain silence while self-sabotaging and acquiring more pain.

You must heal, find yourself, learn to love who you truly were created to be so that you can become whole.

In the Purposeful Relationship Inner Circle, you will learn how to turn your silence into power and discover your strength as you heal and move "Beyond the Pain" to "Becoming Restored."

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

www.kemisogunle.com

#innerchild

#selfcare

Oftentimes, we seek for acceptance and validation from others. This is usually based on the childhood pain/trauma we have experienced. 

We may have been told we would never be good enough or never amount to anything. We may have been rejected, abused, molested, abandoned or made to feel unloved. These things drive us to create a narrative that does not define who we are. 

We accept spoken words from others that create illusions, birth fantasies and limited beliefs. We awaken fear and ego in the process and begin to shift away from our true essence.

Reality is that no one can give you the acceptance and validation you seek outside of yourself. 

You must heal from all the acquired pain/trauma as a child which now manifest in the adult life. 

You must find yourself, own the truth and accept yourself for who God created you to be and become. You must learn to love yourself in order to become whole. 

Join the Purposeful Relationship Circle to learn how to begin the journey to finding and loving yourself so you can gain a conscious awareness and attain wholeness.

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

Certified Life Coach & Relationship Expert

www.kemisogunle.com

#growthmindset

#introspection

#selfdevelopment

#findingyourself

#kemisogunle

#lifecoachingmoment

#innerchildhealing

#codependency

#traumahealing

#journeytowholeness

We have been so caught up with life that life has been living us without us living life. 

We became so conditioned with waking up, taking a washer and going on until we return home to eat, converse a little and hit the sack!

Covid19 happened and some of us begin to fret about what will happen next. We have not been taught how to live life and now we are given the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves. 

What have you learned about yourself since Covid19 hit? How much time have you spent to discover your true self and nurture your soul?

As an introvert, staying home gave me the opportunity to introspect on a deeper level and I discovered some strengths I had buried within.

Such a time as this brings opportunities and possibilities and make us realize that life indeed is truly a gift and we are the miracles meant to happen.

It is time to rise beyond the limited cage we have been conditioned with and to discover who we are created to be...to connect with the gifts/talents within and to live the very best life we are granted each new day!

Love, peace and blessings,

Kemi Sogunle

Certified Life Coach & Relationship Expert/NLP

www.kemisogunle.com

#growthmindset

#introspection

#selfdevelopment

#findingyourself

#kemisogunle

#lifecoachingmoment

We often use the word "love" loosely without fully understanding what it is. We have been conditioned through social media (including movies) and fairly tales with what look should be...which is far fetched. 

We end up creating fantasies and illusions of the persona we want to be with. We make it about the "happily ever after" without fully understanding the deeper aspects of love.

We easily become infatuated, obsessed, possessive and controlling due to the illusions in our heads. We long for the touch, the kiss and sometimes give in to sex thinking we can get love. This is a transaction and far from what love really is.

The moment we no longer are satisfied or fed with what we expected, we suddenly, fall out of love and the relationship becomes soar.

Reality is that you cannot give what you do not have. What you were looking for may be based on buried trauma/pain you carried from childhood. It is focused on seeking for acceptance and validation. It is emotionally intensified with a thirst for more.

True love on the other hand, is unconditional....you will not fall in or fall out. It is focused on growth and sacrifice...standing in line with you through thick and thin. You won't get the gitters that send you on an emotional roller coaster ride. Loving someone is peaceful. You come as yourself without the pain/trauma. You come into a union of wholeness and recognize your partner a reflection of yourself not a mirage.

Read this: The Difference Between Falling in Love vs. Loving Someone.

Take the time to work on finding who you are and healingyourself so that you are not giving in to a false image of what love is about. Become the true love that you are created to be. Embrace who are you and understand that when you become love, it will be easy for love to find you!

GIVEAWAY:

"Love, Sex, Lies and Reality:"

Please enjoy one free audio review copy of By Kemi Sogunle Love, Sex, Lies and Reality [Paperback], now available on Audible. Redeem the one-time use code below at Audible.com

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Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

#dating

#relationship

#lovesexliesandreality

#beingsingle

#beyondthepain

#onbecomingrestored

#fallinginlove

#relationshipexpert

#selflove

#findinglove

#kemisogunle

#infatuation

Have you been in a relationship that felt too good to be true or you thought you had finally found "The One" but all of a sudden, your partner ghosted?

You call, email and text him/her but you get no response. You leave voice messages from a place of anger/hurt. You go on a rant with your friends and they cheer you on with the negative energy that supports the way you are feeling about the relationship.

At this point, you are not consciously aware of existing inner child pain/trauma that is oozing out and screaming "I do not want to be abandoned or rejected," "I will never be enough to have a relationship."

The inner child pain/trauma we do not grieve and heal from, can significantly affect our lives for a long period. We end up acquiring more pain and building layers while camouflaging and self-sabotaging. 

It is important to embark on the journey of self-discovery so that you can heal and break free from what is breaking you. 

Take a break from relationships. 

"Think before you act...reason before you react." - Kemi Sogunle, Excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright ©2014. All Rights Reserved.

It is okay to feel the pain but do not allow the pain to linger on for too long.

Learn to "Tame your emotions...do not let your emotions tame you." - Kemi Sogunle, Excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright ©2014. All Rights Reserved.

Do not lose focus of who you are. Do not build on the negative energy and acquire more pain while embracing trauma. 

Learn to let go of anything that no longer serves you. Remember that you are the CEO of your life. and what you allow will continue. 

Let's connect and explore how I can support you to heal and move "Beyond the Pain." 

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

#lovesexliesandreality

#beingsingle

#beyondthepain

#onbecomingrestored

#kemisogunle

#relationships

#emotions

#personaldevelopmentcoach

#selfdevelopment

#mindsetcoaching

#emotions

#innerchild

#traumabonding

Placing a limit on what you can accomplish or how far you can go in life, creates obstacles not blessings.

Limitations are birthed out of fear, experiences, limited beliefs and upbringing. 

Fear shows up in so many forms: fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment, etc.

Experiences can be painful, traumatic and can be a source of negative narratives.

Limited beliefs can be instilled or created as a child and those begin to continue to linger/manifest in adulthood.

“If you are busy focusing on the falling bricks,  you will never realize that they are truly stepping stones you need to  cross over to the next phase of your life.” - Kemi Sogunle, Excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Copyright © 2014. All Rights Reserved.

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

www.kemisogunle.com

#obstaclesarenotsteppingstones

#growthmindset

#selfdevelopment

#mindsetcoaching

#personaldevelopmentcoach

#limitations

Oftentimes, we believe that love is not enough for a relationship to work. However, reality is that we have not yet discovered who we are and are not yet whole.

The inner childhood issues/trauma/wounds not addressed ooze out to the surface and result in conflicts that make it seem like love will never be enough. 

Taking the time to address these inner child issues and working on become whole will make love be enough for you first. 

"Once you attain wholeness, you will come to understand that love is not transactional, it cannot be bought or forced. It is not based on just emotions and feelings but deeper connection to each other's souls." - Kemi Sogunle, Excerpt, "On Becoming Restored." Copyright ©2014. All Rights Reserved.

Love is indeed enough when both partners are whole. The key to understanding love is to finding yourself and learning to know and understand yourself deeply. Only then, can you truly understand that love is indeed enough.

Yours truly,

Kemi Sogunle

#love

#isloveenough

#relationship

#journeytowholeness

#mindsetcoach

#onbecomingrestored

#lovesexliesandreality