
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


Why Your Husband Thinks He's Doing Everything Right | FT: Alessandro Frosali
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH ALESSANDRO
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali
On Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/alessandrofrosalimenscoach
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/alessandrofrosali
Men's coach Alessandro Frisali, founder of Better Husband, joins Charlene on Cheers to Great Love for a raw and honest conversation about what actually goes wrong in marriages and how both men and women can start showing up differently.
FULL TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction: Who is Alessandro Frisali
2:30 - His personal story: Passive husband to men's coach
6:00 - The moment his wife gave him an ultimatum
9:30 - What being passive in a relationship actually looks like
13:00 - Why men are scared of their wives' emotions
16:30 - How men learned to divert instead of solve
19:00 - The emotional rollercoaster: The big red button explained
22:30 - Practical tip: Ask what your partner heard you say
25:00 - Boy behavior explained: The Dr. Arne Rubenstein model
29:30 - Man behavior vs boy behavior side by side
33:00 - Why calling her crazy or him a child destroys conversation
36:30 - What women don't know: Men truly believe they're doing enough 40:00 - The Jennifer vs John study: Why mental load falls on women
45:30 - The rowing boat analogy for stuck relationships
49:00 - The one struggle men carry that women never see
53:00 - Why men's relationship with sex and intimacy is mis framed
58:00 - The garden analogy: Fruit comes from a watered garden
1:02:00 - How to start the intimacy conversation with your husband
1:05:00 - Stop addressing the moment, talk about the pattern
1:08:30 - Why someone has to drop the standoff gun first
1:11:00 - The socks on the coffee table: Julia's wound, not the socks
1:14:30 - How Better Husband Academy works
1:16:00 - How to introduce this content to your husband without pressure.
He also gives women practical ways to introduce this work to their husbands without triggering defensiveness, and explains what men are actually carrying that most women never see.
This episode bridges the gap between men and women in a way that's honest, compassionate, and deeply practical.
Why You Attract the Wrong Relationships | FT: Ada Gore
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH ADA:
On Instagaram @unfawningwithada (https://www.instagram.com/unfawningwithada//)
On Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/p/UnfawningwithAda-Gore-61583811881569/
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UnFawningWithAda
Join the Waitlist: https://adagore.com/unstuck-waitlist
Join for a Practical.Guideline to be a Self-Centred Woman : https://www.adagore.com/enroll-scw
Website : https://www.adagore.com/
Self-trust coach Ada Gore joins the podcast to unpack self-abandonment, the pattern of consistently putting everyone else first while ignoring your own needs, and how it silently sabotages dating, marriage, and self-worth.
Ada explains how self-abandonment shows up specifically in dating (over-planning, over-texting, doing all the emotional labor) and marriage (trying to control your partner instead of trusting them), and introduces the most powerful reframe of the episode: resentment as a messenger, not an enemy, a signal that reveals exactly where you've abandoned your own needs.
Full Timestamps:
00:00 — Intro: Meet Ada Gore, Self-Trust Coach
02:00 — Ada's Story: A Decade of Single Motherhood & Painful Dating
04:00 — The Dud, the Almost Man, and the Soulmate
06:30 — The Breakthrough: "I Didn't Love Myself"
09:00 — Why We Can Only Receive the Love We Give Ourselves
11:30 — What Self-Love Actually Means: Evidence Over Affirmations
14:00 — Keeping Tiny Promises to Yourself
16:30 — The "Going Pee When You Need To" Story
19:00 — Self-Abandonment as a Protective Mechanism
21:30 — How It Shows Up in Dating: Over-Planning & Control
24:00 — How It Shows Up in Marriage: Turning Him Into a Project
26:00 — Learning to Trust Yourself to Read the Red Flags
29:00 — "Trusting Someone Else Is Never About Them — It's About You"
32:00 — Signs You're Abandoning Yourself: The Resentment Test
35:00 — Ada's Postpartum Story: The Yoga Class She Never Took
39:00 — Why Resentment Is Always About You, Not Them
41:30 — Confusing Sacrifice With Healthy Love
44:00 — Selfish vs. Selfless vs. Self-Centered (The Pendulum)
47:00 — The Self-Centered Woman Program Introduction
49:00 — Permission Exercise: Speaking Your Resentment Out Loud
52:00 — Journaling vs. Speaking: Getting the Loop Out of Your Head
54:30 — The Dishes Story: Giving From Overflow vs. Depletion
58:00 — The Pygmalion Effect in Relationships 1:00:00 — How to Set Expectations Without Lying to Yourself
1:05:00 — Where to Start If You've Abandoned Yourself for Years
1:08:30 — Advice for Single Women: Resentment in Dating
1:11:00 — Ada's Viral Reel: The #1 Red Flag Before Marriage
1:16:00 — Life After Healing: "I'm Not Lonely Anymore"
1:18:00 — Where to Find Ada + The Self-Centered Woman Program
1:21:00 — Closing Thoughts
The episode also covers the difference between selfish, selfless, and "self-centered" (Ada's reframed, healthy middle ground), the Pygmalion effect and how the expectations you set for your partner shape how they show up, and concrete scripts for communicating trust and boundaries without nagging or lying to yourself.
This is a deeply practical conversation for any woman who feels like she's disappeared inside her own relationships.
Hidden Causes Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Men | FT: Shana Richardson
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars
([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining
(https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
Certified hypnotherapist and founder of The Magnetic Queen, Shana Richardson, joins Charlene on Cheers to Great Love for a deeply healing and eye-opening conversation about why so many women keep repeating the same patterns in love, and what it actually takes to change them. Shana breaks down how your subconscious mind, not your conscious desires, is choosing who you attract and how you show up in relationships.
She explains the difference between subconscious patterns and talk therapy, what secure attachment really means, and why women who have done years of personal development still find themselves stuck in the same cycles.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Introduction: Who is Shana Richardson
2:30 - What subconscious patterns actually means (the real definition)
5:30 - How your body decides what feels safe and what is love
8:00 - Why your childhood determines who you attract as an adult
11:00 - Shana's personal story: Attracting emotionally unavailable partners 14:30 - Why you keep attracting unavailable men even when you want something different
17:30 - What's happening beneath the surface most women never see
21:00 - The doer woman who struggles to look inward
24:30 - Why high-achieving women develop masculine patterns in love
28:00 - The two core beliefs Shana had to unlearn before love changed
31:30 - Hypnotherapy vs talk therapy: Why the body has to be involved
35:00 - The biggest misconception about healing that keeps women stuck 38:30 - Why you can't let go of your ex and what's really happening
42:00 - You have to actually feel your feelings (not just think about them) 45:30 - Taking personal responsibility without going into shame
49:00 - Dating the same man in seven different bodies explained
52:30 - What starts changing first when women begin doing inner work
56:00 - Shame vs guilt: The distinction that changes everything
59:30 - What a Magnetic Queen actually is
1:02:00 - Practical steps for single women right now
1:05:00 - Practical steps for married women right now
1:07:30 - A real client transformation story
1:09:00 - How to find Shana and connect.
She also gets vulnerable about her own journey, dating the same emotionally unavailable man in seven different bodies before discovering hypnotherapy, and the two core beliefs she had to dismantle before her relationships finally changed.
Whether you are single, married, healing from heartbreak, or just starting to ask the hard questions about love, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.
00:00 — Intro: Meet Jacqueline Faye, "The Fairy Matchmaker"
02:00 — How Faye Got Into Matchmaking (From Actress to NLP Coach)
04:30 — Why She Started Diamond Club Matchmaking
06:15 — What Faye Noticed First: Entitled vs. Underprepared Women
09:00 — Are Women Really Looking for Love or a Feeling?
11:00 — The Problem With Rigid Dating "Checklists" (Age, Height, etc.)
13:30 — Faye's Personal Story: Becoming the Breadwinner & Losing Her Feminine Energy
17:00 — Taking Phone Calls While Giving Birth (The Hustle Culture Trap)
19:30 — How Her Marriage Changed When Roles Shifted
22:00 — Reclaiming Feminine Energy in Business and Life
24:30 — The Chronic Pain Story: Masculine Energy & the Body
26:30 — Letting Him Lead: Practical Examples
29:00 — What Men Actually Want: Affection AND Appreciation
31:30 — Why Saying "Thank You" After a Date Still Matters
34:00 — Behind the Book: "Seduce Like a Goddess" & the Secret Spell Concept
36:30 — Manifestation, Mantras, and Getting "Lit Up From the Inside"
39:00 — Client Story: Throwing Out the "Tall, Handsome" Checklist
42:00 — Biological Age vs. Chronological Age in Dating
45:00 — Healthy Love Is Created, Not Found (Attachment Styles)
47:30 — Faye's Story: Letting Go of Timelines Around Having Kids
50:00 — Why Desperation Energy Repels Men
52:00 — What Keeps Long-Term Couples in Love (Date Nights, Effort, Spice)
55:00 — Chemistry vs. Compatibility Explained
58:00 — Advice for Singles: Ask Questions, Don't Just Talk About Yourself
1:00:30 — Advice for Married Women: Reigniting the Spark
1:02:30 — Miss Charlene's Trench Coat Story
1:04:00 — Where to Find Faye + Get the Book
1:05:30 — Closing Thoughts: Step Into Your Goddess Frequency
Faye opens up about her own shift from operating in "masculine hustle energy" as a CEO and breadwinner to reclaiming her feminine energy, and how that shift changed her marriage, her business, and even a year-long chronic pain issue she believes was tied to the imbalance.
The conversation covers what most women misunderstand about men (hint: it's not just affection they crave, it's appreciation), the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why throwing out rigid dating "timelines" often leads to exactly what you were chasing, and practical advice for both single and married women on reigniting attraction, receiving instead of over-giving, and staying open to partners who don't match a mental checklist.
This episode blends real client stories, personal vulnerability, and practical dating advice for women looking to shift from chasing love to naturally attracting it.
Why Women Need 7-20 Minutes to "Warm Up", And Why That's Normal | FT: Nikki
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars
([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining
(https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
In this candid conversation, desire coach and sexuality educator Nikki joins the podcast to break down the anatomy and psychology of female arousal, information most women were never taught growing up.
The episode covers the truth about clitoral anatomy (including why the "G-spot" debate is more nuanced than most people realize), the concept of "tenting" and why arousal needs time to build before penetration, and why the widely cited 7-20 minute warm-up window varies so much from person to person.
TIMESTAMP:
00:00 — Intro: Meet Nikki, Desire Coach & "Sextainer"
02:15 — Nikki's Story: From Closed Off to Owning Her Pleasure
04:30 — The 73-Year-Old Client Who Changed Everything
07:00 — Why We Never Learned About Female Anatomy
09:45 — Clitoris vs. G-Spot: The Real Statistics Explained
13:00 — What "Tenting" Means & Why It Matters
16:30 — How Arousal Physically Changes the Body
19:00 — Why 7-20 Minutes to "Warm Up" Is Normal
21:15 — Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire
23:00 — Homework: The Memory Exercise for Couples
25:30 — How Pregnancy, Perimenopause & Menopause Change Desire
28:00 — Medications That Affect Libido (Antidepressants, Semaglutide, Antihistamines)
30:15 — Sexual Trauma & When to Seek Additional Support
32:00 — Why Desire Changes as Women Age
34:00 — Pillar #1: Agency — Reclaiming Choice
37:00 — Pillar #2: Context — Setting the Right Environment
40:30 — Pillar #3: Permission — Affirmations for Pleasure
43:00 — Pillar #4: Sensation — Blood Flow, Hormones & Vasodilators
47:30 — Testing Hormones the Right Way (Optimal vs. "Normal")
50:00 — Pillar #5: Energy — Why Timing of Day Matters
53:00 — The "2 PM vs 8 PM" Concept & App-Controlled Toys
56:00 — Pillar #6: Mindset — Getting Out of Multitasking Mode
59:00 — Why Desire Doesn't Have to Come First
1:01:30 — Understanding Sexless Marriages & How Habits Form
1:02:00 — The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch
1:03:00 — Why Orgasms Matter for Mental & Physical Health
1:04:00 — A Word on Men's Sexual Health
1:06:00 — Lubricant 101: What to Look For & Why It Matters
1:08:00 — Teaching Daughters About Their Bodies
1:0900 — Where to Find Nikki + Free Resources
1:10:00 — Closing Thoughts: "Happy Humping"
The conversation also explores responsive versus spontaneous desire, how major life changes, postpartum, perimenopause, medication side effects, and past sexual trauma, can shift how the body experiences pleasure, and practical communication exercises couples can use to reconnect.
Nikki introduces her "6 Pillars of Playfulness" framework (agency, context, permission, sensation, energy, and mindset) as a roadmap for women who feel like their desire has faded in long-term relationships, along with simple, low-pressure homework couples can try together.
This is an educational, relationship-focused conversation aimed at demystifying female sexuality, encouraging open communication between partners, and helping women reconnect with pleasure without shame.
How to Attract Healthy Love After Heartbreak | FT: Coach Jonathan Aslay
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH JONATHAN ASLAY
On Instagram @jonathonaslay (https://www.instagram.com/jonathonaslay/)
On YouTube @JonathonAslay
(https://www.youtube.com/@JonathonAslay)
FREE Strategy Call jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Self-Love The Book selflovethebook.com
Midlife dating and relationship coach Jonathan Aslay joins Charlene on Cheers to Great Love to deliver one of the most honest, healing, and eye-opening conversations about love, heartbreak, and emotional maturity you will ever hear.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Introduction: Who is Jonathan Aslay
2:30 - How going through divorce led to 100 internet dates in one year
5:30 - How his coaching business was born from helping women with dating profiles
8:00 - The role personal development and therapy played in his transformation
11:00 - Why chemistry does not equal relationship success
14:30 - Emotional maturity: the hardest thing to assess in a partner
17:00 - How the ego protects us from pain but creates more of it
20:00 - The one belief holding women back in love
23:00 - Why women give their power away to men in relationships
26:00 - What women need to know about men and today's dating culture 29:30 - 80% vs 20%: The commitment breakdown explained
33:00 - Why you should interrogate before intimacy (not after)
36:30 - Speed it up vs slow it down — reframing physical intimacy
40:00 - How to ask deeper questions earlier in dating
43:00 - Why most dating advice online is rage bait and dangerous
46:00 - Victor consciousness vs victim consciousness explained
49:30 - How women push healthy love away while trying to protect their heart
50:00 - Five questions to ask yourself after a relationship ends
51:30 - The story of losing his son Connor and writing the self-love book
53:00 - What self-love actually means: nurturing your inner six-year-old
54:00 - Final message: Love is the antidote to emotional suffering
56:00 - How to connect with Jonathan and get the book
Jonathan shares how a divorce, financial collapse, and personal rock bottom led him to discover what actually creates lasting love, and it has nothing to do with chemistry, fancy dates, or waiting for someone to lead.
He breaks down why 80% of men are not capable of full commitment, how women unknowingly give their power away in relationships, why protecting your heart after heartbreak actually pushes healthy love away, and what it really means to vet someone before physical intimacy.
He also opens up about the profound loss of his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018 and how that heartbreak became the catalyst for his bestselling book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway?, and a deeper commitment to helping others live a self-examined life rooted in love and gratitude.
This episode will shift how you think about dating, healing, and yourself.
How Do You Know If He's Really Changed or Just Making Promises? | FT: Coach Bear
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars
([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining
(https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE
([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH Couch Bear:
On Instagram @officialcoachbear(https://www.instagram.com/officialcoachbear/ )
Book Your Slot Here: https://shiftedsight.com/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnnxp3Tbyer6tyrrNdzAndQjicP62FkM4A_jcthRd3JJqlGQxZ7f-G5sTc_rU_aem_4Koyn9xeWIFlUawS-dXKLA
Marriage recovery coach Coach Bear joins the Love Stories podcast for one of the most raw, honest conversations the show has ever had.
After a tumultuous marriage marked by emotional avoidance, deep-seated lying patterns, infidelity, and eventual separation, Coach Bear and his wife chose the harder road, reconciliation.
Timestamps:
0:00 — Intro & teaser clips
1:30 — Host welcomes Coach Bear
3:00 — Coach Bear's bio & mission
5:00 — How their work was born from their own story
7:00 — How Coach Bear met his wife: love at first sight
10:00 — The beautiful beginning that took a wrong turn
13:00 — Why men struggle to communicate emotionally
16:00 — Coach Bear's childhood: learning that lying felt safer
20:00 — Men, masculinity & why emotional depth isn't modeled
23:00 — The marriage breaks down: avoidance, distance, trucking away
27:00 — His wife does the inner work — and it backfires on him
31:00 — The moment he decided to check out of the marriage entirely
35:00 — Moving to Alabama, losing everything, hitting rock bottom
38:00 — The first time he stepped out of the marriage
41:00 — The night his wife found the phone
43:00 — Separation: getting everything he thought he wanted
45:00 — The moment his kids stopped asking them to come inside
48:00 — The catalyst for real change: faith, church & doing the work
50:00 — Reconciliation: the hardest thing either of them ever did
53:00 — What has to happen before healing is even possible
55:00 — We are stuck at our oldest unresolved issue
57:00 — Why women can't move past betrayal: the power of unknowns
1:00:00 — Radical transparency: what it actually looks like
1:02:00 — How long does trust take to rebuild?
1:05:00 — Both people have a part to play in recovery
1:10:00 — How to tell real change from empty promises
1:12:00 — What Coach Bear wishes every woman understood about men
1:13:00 — Their marriage today: healthy, happy, and whole
1:15:00 — How to work with Coach Bear / programs & Cave Intensive
1:17:00 — Final message: you are not your worst decision
1:19:00 — Outro & subscribe call to action
Now together they help couples rebuild what felt completely broken.
In this episode, he opens up about growing up learning that lying felt safer than truth, why men avoid emotional depth and throw themselves into work instead, what finally broke him open during separation, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, why you're stuck at your oldest unresolved issue, what has to happen before healing is even possible after betrayal, how to tell the difference between real change and empty promises, and what he wishes every woman understood about the man who seems to be pulling away.
If you or someone you love is navigating betrayal, disconnection, or a marriage that feels beyond repair, this episode is for you.
What the Bible Really Says About Dating, Love & Marriage | FT: Ezinne Zara
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining ([https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars](https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
Faith-based creator Ezinni Zara joins relationship coach Charlene for a raw and powerful conversation about trusting God in love, protecting your heart, and understanding what healthy relationships really look like from a biblical perspective. Ezinni shares how walking with God for 11 years shaped her approach to dating, why she married her first real relationship, and how she grows more in love with her husband every single year.
Charlene opens up about her own journey from a 23-year marriage without God to a completely transformed second marriage rooted in faith.
We Covered here In this Episode :
0:00 - Welcome & Introduction
2:00 - Who is Ezinni Zara? Her background and story
4:30 - Growing up in Lagos, Nigeria and searching for identity
7:15 - Meeting Jesus at 17: Her salvation testimony
10:00 - Charlene's story: 23 years of marriage without God
13:30 - Her husband hearing "go to church" out of nowhere
16:45 - What makes her second marriage completely different
20:00 - God's design for love and why every command is protective
23:30 - Why slowing down reveals who someone really is
27:00 - Oxytocin: How physical intimacy shrinks your critical thinking
30:30 - What happens when a man has no higher authority
34:00 - The golden calf analogy and wounded masculinity
37:30 - Why women have more to lose when unequally yoked
41:00 - Trusting God's timeline: The Rebecca story
44:30 - The turning point: "God, you're enough even without a man"
48:00 - She met her husband the very next month after surrendering
51:30 - Why year 5 is better than the wedding day
54:30 - Tim Keller: Actions of love lead to feelings of love
57:00 - Putting a premium on yourself: Not everyone gets access
1:00:00 - The gap between what we believe and how we live
1:02:30 - When Christian therapy is necessary alongside prayer
Together they unpack why women lose clarity when they rush into physical intimacy, what happens when a man has no higher authority over him, how to stop trying to help God with His own plan, and why wholeness attracts while desperation repels.
Whether you are single, dating, married, or just exploring your faith, this conversation will shift how you see yourself, love, and God.
Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns | FT: DR. Gloria Lee
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining([https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars](https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars))
Work with me HERE([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH Dr. Gloria Lee.
On Instagram @drglorialee
( https://www.instagram.com/drglorialee/ )
Work With Me Here: https://drglorialee.com/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnLYnLemwRNkK3rbxt-SWh-TY0GcPu0ESxdSJsKOF4UbASsrW7a6_LwXb-FTk_aem_ohqJ5TICSQrntxj6QMHPWA
Clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Gloria Lee joins the Love Stories podcast for one of the most powerful conversations yet.After growing up in a dysfunctional home, discovering her parents' secret divorce, and watching five of her six siblings' marriages fail, Dr. Lee dedicated 28 years to helping couples break generational cycles and build lasting love.
We covered in this episode:
0:00 — Intro & teaser clips
1:30 — Host welcomes Dr. Gloria Lee
3:00 — Dr. Lee's bio read
5:00 — How she got into relationship psychology
7:00 — Growing up in a dysfunctional home: secrets, conflict & her parents' hidden divorce
11:00 — Five out of six siblings divorced: the intergenerational pattern
14:00 — What is intergenerational trauma? Death by a million paper cuts
18:00 — How childhood wounds create people pleasers & patterns in love
22:00 — We all tend to marry our unfinished business
25:00 — The woman married four times: the common denominator is you
28:00 — Why women carry resentment and how it shows up in marriage
32:00 — What's really going on beneath the surface when couples fight
36:00 — Why communication skills alone won't save your relationship
39:00 — Shame, apology & why we go into defense mode
43:00 — Offending from the victim position: the cycle that never ends
46:00 — The golden moment: how to shift the dynamic in real time
50:00 — Common complaints: he withdraws, he shuts down, he explodes
54:00 — Sending your partner Instagram posts is still control
57:00 — Celebrate the small wins: how to motivate change without harshness
1:01:00 — We all married the wrong person — and that's okay
1:04:00 — Affairs: symptom of deeper dynamics & how couples survive them
1:09:00 — Forgiving betrayal: grieving what was and building something new
1:13:00 — What single women should do now before entering a relationship
1:17:00 — Reparenting yourself: giving yourself what you never got
1:20:00 — Healthy love starts with your relationship with yourself
1:23:00 — How to work with Dr. Gloria Lee
1:25:00 — Final message: there is always hoped to change
1:27:00 — Outro & subscribe call to action.
In this episode, she unpacks why we marry our unfinished business, how childhood wounds silently destroy adult relationships, why communication skills alone won't fix your marriage, the difference between a relationship that's struggling and one that's truly over, how to create a golden moment of healing in the middle of a fight, what to do when betrayal has happened and forgiveness feels impossible, and the inner work single women must do before entering a relationship.
If you've ever felt like something is wrong with you or that healthy love isn't possible for you, this episode will change that belief forever.
Why Your Man Shuts Down When You Try to Talk & What to Do Instead | FT: DR. Chris David
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE
On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars]
On YouTube @chosentraining ([https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars]
Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/))
CONNECT WITH CHRIS DAVID
On Instagram @evolvedbychris (https://www.instagram.com/evolvedbychris?igsh=dmpya2pwNmNqeTdp)
Work With Me Here: https://linktr.ee/evolvedbychris?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnjXAnZgX9oxHKwhMERoqK6npC7-Q0YGS0suMCBsKXtusB1v_-ak8TlVB9VD4_aem_k254pW6ZWslcuWxdOfOkzg
Relationship and attachment coach Chris joins the Love Stories podcast for one of the most eye-opening conversations yet.
After a tumultuous 14-year marriage, a painful divorce, and years of studying human behavior, Chris built a practice helping people understand why their relationships keep failing, and what to actually do about it.
In this episode, he breaks down the real difference between an avoidant man and a man who's just not that into you, why communication alone won't save your relationship, how men and women bond completely differently, the 70-30 rule for emotionally charged conversations, why you should give your man a problem to solve instead of making him the problem, and how attachment styles are fully correctable.
We Cover in this whole Episode:
0:00 — Intro & teaser clips
1:30 — Host welcomes Chris; his mission explained
3:00 — How Chris got into relationship coaching
5:00 — Marrying young at 26: chemistry mistaken for love
8:00 — Mr. Nice Guy syndrome: never saying no
12:00 — Shame wounds in men and what drives people-pleasing
16:00 — Childhood, Catholic upbringing & performative love
20:00 — Why traditional marriage counseling often fails
24:00 — The affairs, the explosion, and staying another 10 years
28:00 — Post-divorce: 5 years of dating around the world
33:00 — Meeting his current partner: friendship first
37:00 — What was different this time: mindset shift
41:00 — Avoidant vs. just not that into you — the key difference
45:00 — Dismissive avoidant explained: the "perfect family" facade
49:00 — The four types of memory & emotional unavailability
53:00 — Attachment is fully correctable — here's how
57:00 — How men and women bond differently: oxytocin vs. vasopressin
1:01:00 — How to let a woman express herself without shutting down
1:05:00 — Give him a problem to solve, not make him the problem
1:10:00 — The 70-30 rule for difficult conversations
1:14:00 — Vasopressin, acts of service & why men need to feel needed
1:18:00 — The 3 A's: attention, affection, affirmations
1:21:00 — How to work with Chris / closing resources
1:24:00 — Final message: only one reason a relationship truly can't work
1:26:00 — Outro & subscribe call to action
If you've ever felt unheard, disconnected, or stuck in the same relationship patterns, this episode will change the way you see yourself and your partner.
From the publisher's feed