Love Stories

The Real Reason Couples Stop Feeling Connected in 2026

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE On Instagram @mscharlenebyars (https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars/?hl=en)

On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAEFkimtIowqoyz1_lnF8Rg)

Work with me HERE (https://charlenebyars.com/)

CONNECT WITH JONATHAN On IG: https://www.instagram.com/jonathanvanviegen

Book a call with him: https://shorturl.at/4kt3W

0:00 - Introduction: Meet Jonathan Van Vegan

1:30 - "I Was Kidnapped at 9" – Jonathan's Traumatic Childhood

4:15 - How He Knew She Was "The One" After Two Dates

6:45 - The Fight That Almost Ended His Marriage

9:30 - Why Trauma Shows Up as Anger in Men

13:00 - Why He Explodes When You Ask Him to Take Out the Trash

18:30 - "Prop Up His Ego" – The Advice That Triggers Women

24:00 - Pain Saturation: Why Couples Stop Feeling Chosen

29:15 - Do Men and Women Fall in Love Differently?

33:45 - Women Want to Be Chosen, Men Want to Be Liked

38:30 - Why Society Trying to "Blend" Us Is a Problem

43:00 - For Women Who Feel They Missed Their Chance at Love

47:30 - Why Love Languages & Attachment Styles Can Hurt Your Marriage

51:00 - The Restaurant Test: Do You Know What She'd Order?

54:30 - What Men Are Too Afraid to Admit They Want

57:15 - The Hallmark of a Healthy Relationship

59:00 - Where to Find Jonathan + Upcoming Book Stop looking through the "Lens of Pain."

In this deep-dive interview, renowned psychotherapist and relationship coach Jonathan Van Viégas (creator of the Chosen and Cherished Method) reveals why even "wonderful" relationships can start to feel like a burden.

We explore the concept of Pain Saturation, the moment life’s external stressors (work, health, trauma) bleed into your partnership, causing you to view your spouse as the enemy rather than your teammate.

Jonathan shares his own vulnerable journey from a traumatic childhood and struggles with anger to building a thriving, emotionally safe marriage.

In this video, you will learn: The "Pain Saturation" Effect: Why couples attribute all their life's pain to their partner. Gendered Needs: Why women crave being "chosen" and why men desperately need to be "cherished" and liked.

The Ego Reframing: How propping up a partner's ego (without becoming their caretaker) creates a bridge to healing. Trauma & Anger: Understanding why men often manifest stress as anger and how to navigate those "identity-level" wounds.

The 2026 Perspective: How to honor the fundamental differences between men and women in a modern, fast-paced world.

Whether you are struggling to communicate or simply want to deepen your intimacy, this conversation provides practical tools to move from "surviving" to "thriving."

In this episode, we dive into an enlightening conversation with Cindy Stibbard, a certified divorce and relationship coach and the founder of Divorce Redefined. Cindy shares her journey of dealing with infidelity, navigating the breakdown of her marriage, and ultimately finding purpose in helping others. The discussion touches on the importance of addressing conflict in relationships, emotional safety, and the value of independence and self-worth. Cindy offers practical advice for both single and married listeners on how to build healthy relationships, whether it involves staying and working through tough times or knowing when to move on.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (06:20) Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

- (15:09) The Importance of Emotional Safety

- (22:21) Cindy's Personal Marriage Experience

- (39:19) The Two-Year Rule for Relationships

- (43:09) The Dangers of Codependency

- (47:16) The Strength of Being Single

- (54:28) Dealing with Betrayal and Infidelity

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH CINDY

On Instagram HERE

His Links HERE

In this episode, we dive into an in-depth and heartfelt conversation with bestselling author Amber Rae. The discussion revolves around the importance of brave truth-telling, choosing wonder over worry, and finding alignment in one's life. Amber shares insights from her journey of moving from living a 'good' life to truly feeling free, emphasizing self-honesty and personal alignment. The episode covers her transformative moments, including her previous marriage and how she eventually found deep connection and intimacy in her current relationship. Amber also opens up about her new book 'Lovable' and her life as a mother, while discussing the societal expectations and personal challenges she overcame to live authentically. Her story is a powerful reminder of the importance of honoring oneself and embracing the unknown.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (05:24) Motherhood and Personal Growth

- (09:43) Self-Honesty and Life Changes

- (26:41) Facing the Truth in a Relationship

- (29:47) Choosing Self-Love and Authenticity

- (34:43) Embracing Vulnerability and True Connection

- (41:14) Living Authentically and Finding True Love

- (45:31) The Journey to Inner Peace and Purpose

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH AMBER

On Instagram HERE

His Links HERE

In this episode, Doug and Charlene tackle the critical issue of men disconnecting in their relationships, highlighting how Doug’s own journey led him to create programs that help married businessmen become better fathers and husbands. He discusses his personal transformation after realizing his shortcomings as a husband and father. Doug emphasizes the importance of men finding their inner power and emotional safety, sharing the impactful results of his work with thousands of men. Additionally, he offers a free resource to help men and their partners start on the path to better relationships.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (05:39) Challenges Men Face: Emotional Struggles and Solutions

- (19:42) Personal Story: Doug's Turning Point

- (36:51) The Struggle of Men in Relationships

- (39:03) Understanding Male Psychology

- (47:08) Taking Responsibility and Making Changes

- (53:00) The Clean Slate Method

- (01:03:04) Hope and Transformation in Relationships

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH DOUG

On Instagram HERE

His Links HERE

In this episode, we sit down with Jennie Monnes, an expert in early childhood education and psychology. Jennie talks about her journey of self-discovery and the importance of self-love before entering relationships. She emphasizes how a parent's emotional health and healing are key to creating a stable and loving environment for their children. Jennie explains the significance of acknowledging and validating children's emotions and discusses her work in providing support for parents. The conversation explores the challenges of relationships, the impact of childhood experiences on adult life, and practical strategies for fostering secure emotional bonds with children.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (05:13) The Importance of Early Childhood Experiences

- (11:46) Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery

- (23:10) Finding Joy in Work and Life

- (38:15) Navigating Life's Autopilot and Finding Awareness

- (41:17) Modeling Healthy Relationships for Children

- (46:32) The Impact of Parental Behavior on Children

- (01:00:54) The Power of Awareness and Self-Reflection

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH JENNIE

On Instagram HERE

On YouTube HERE

In this insightful episode, we sit down with Chantal Heide, Canada's number one dating coach, to explore the complexities of relationships and the male mind. Chantal shares her journey from working as a stripper to becoming a renowned dating coach, blending her extensive knowledge of sociology, psychology, and personal experiences. She discusses her 'no kissing for three months' method for finding the right partner and emphasizes the importance of acceptance and communication in achieving a zero-fight relationship. Chantal provides practical advice for both singles and couples, aiming to help individuals create lasting, meaningful connections.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (07:26) The Importance of Acceptance and Connection in Relationships

- (14:27) Debunking Relationship Myths and Brainwashing

- (18:26) Practical Advice for Improving Relationships

- (27:14) The Role of Gratitude and Intimacy in Relationships

- (42:57) Choosing the Right Partner

- (44:20) Avoiding Manipulation and Red Flags

- (56:20) Zero Fight Relationship: Understanding and Implementation

- (01:06:29) The Slow Burn: Building Lasting Chemistry

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH CHANTAL

On Instagram HERE

Her Website HERE

What happens when an "alpha woman" partners with her husband in business? In this episode, host Charlene sits down with Dhayany Walker, co-founder of Lovepreneur. Dhayany shares her powerful story of transitioning from a "survival mode" mentality to embracing a softer approach that transformed her marriage and catapulted her businesses. Learn practical frameworks like the "Three T's" (Tone, Tongue, and Time) and G.R.A.C.E. to improve communication, define roles, and build a lasting legacy with your partner.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (02:13) The Definition of a "Lovepreneur"

- (07:01) The "Alpha Woman" Challenge in Partnerships 

- (09:14) Dhayany's Backstory and Entrepreneurial Journey

- (14:50) The Philosophy: "Build Before You Say I Do"

- (21:49) A Turning Point: The Driveway Epiphany

- (29:43) A Man's Role: Show Up with Structure, Presence, and a Vision

- (32:47) The Power of Admiration and the "Lovepreneur Sandwich"

- (39:56) The G.R.A.C.E. Framework for Relationships 

- (43:40) How Softening Up Builds His Confidence and Leadership

- (47:05) Business Strategy: Knowing Your Role Based on Strengths

- (50:41) The Four Key Roles in Any Business Partnership

- (53:50) Keys to Success: Know Your Role, Be a Team, and Forgive 

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH DHAYANY

On Instagram HERE

In this engaging episode, we interview Karli Harvey Raymond, an international event host, MC, and certified sex educator. They discuss the importance of sexual wellness and confidence for women. Karli shares her unique journey from growing up in a religious household to becoming a sex educator who helps women embrace their desires.

The conversation explores why sex remains a taboo topic, the impact of shame, trauma, and stress on sexual pleasure, and practical tips on improving intimacy in relationships. Karli also offers advice on communicating sexual needs effectively and the significance of foreplay for women's sexual satisfaction. The episode emphasizes the crucial role of communication in relationships and Karli's methods for renewing attraction and intimacy with long-term partners.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (03:24) Breaking Taboos Around Sex

- (06:03) From Purity Culture to Sex Educator

- (09:16) Empowering Women Through Sexual Confidence

- (13:00) The Role of Pleasure in Our Lives

- (23:06) Communicating Desires with Partners

- (28:25) Exploring Fantasies and Boundaries

- (34:21) Using the Yes-No-Maybe List

- (36:40) Evolving Sexuality and Connection

- (38:48) Common Issues in Long-Term Relationships

- (42:26) Misconceptions About Sex

- (51:48) Encouraging Change in Relationships

- (55:37) Karli's Workshops and Coaching

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH KARLI

On Instagram HERE

In this episode, we dive deep into a heartfelt conversation with Judge Lynn Toler, who shares her personal journey and professional insights on love, relationships, and emotional intelligence. Judge Toler reflects on her mother's profound influence, her own marriage of 33 years, and the tragic loss of her husband. She discusses the complexities of communication, the common issues in relationships, and the importance of understanding and meeting emotional needs in a partnership.

This episode also touches on her experiences on shows like 'Divorce Court' and 'Marriage Bootcamp,' underscoring the universal challenges couples face. Judge Toler's wisdom, humor, and authenticity shine through as she offers valuable lessons for anyone seeking to improve their relationships or navigate personal loss.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (03:44) Insights on Relationships and Reality TV

- (06:37) Influence of Mother's Emotional Intelligence

- (07:57) Growing Up with a Bipolar Father

- (14:51) Navigating Early Adulthood and Career Choices

- (20:01) Marriage and Family Dynamics

- (23:49) Coping with Loss and Grief

- (29:30) Reflections on Long-term Relationships

- (37:14) The Culture of Loud and Proud Relationships

- (37:37) Navigating Relationship Advice and Hypocrisy

- (38:33) Understanding Individual Needs in Relationships

- (40:06) The Influence of Dr. Laura and Direct Communication

- (44:49) The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Relationships

- (47:34) Communication Issues as the Root of Relationship Conflicts

- (48:07) The Impact of Social Media on Relationships

- (49:02) Coping with Tragedy and Personal Loss

- (01:00:13) Balancing Roles and Responsibilities in Relationships

- (01:06:53) The Importance of Not Taking Each Other for Granted

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH JUDGE LYNN

On YouTube HERE

In this episode, I engage in a deep and thought-provoking conversation with relationship and dating expert Flora Ong. We explore the intricate dynamics of love, dating, and the barriers that often prevent individuals, particularly women, from achieving the fulfilling relationships they desire.

Flora shares her personal journey, detailing her own experiences with love, loss, and self-discovery. After a series of life-altering events, including her father's illness and her subsequent divorce, she embarked on a path of personal development that ultimately led her to become a dating coach. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that transformation is possible, even after hardship.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (04:51) The Missing Link in Relationships

- (10:13) Core Wounds and Attachment Styles

- (20:13) Processing Emotions

- (32:09) Finding Authenticity

- (39:11) The Cycle of Dating Challenges

- (41:00) Awareness and Change

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE 

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE 

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars 

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH FLORA

On Instagram HERE

Her Links HERE