Today’s topic is one that can easily keep moms spinning, striving and ultimately worn down.

Yep - we are taking on the lie: I have to be perfect or I’m going to mess up my kids.

Every mom’s greatest fear! Why?

Our Momma hearts have a deep desire to do well and to be confident that we are, in fact, good moms who are doing a good job with our kids. We want to look back on our motherhood journey and know that we did what was pleasing to the Lord by raising little disciples who, ideally, become adults living out their lives with kingdom purpose. So naturally, this is an area the enemy is going to attack because he knows if it is important to us, we can be found vulnerable.

Here to speak to this topic with me today is writer, speaker and editor in Chief of Mom Mentor - Sarah Wood and friend, you are going to love this conversation with Sarah as she and I dive into the real life struggles, the mom fails and the lessons we’ve learned so far in our motherhood journeys as it pertains to perfectionism.

Sarah will share how her experiences have helped her to grow as a mom and as a believer and offer you practical steps to encourage and get your started in silencing this lie and replace it with Truth about your identity, your mission and purpose!

Connect with Sarah on Instagram and at mommentor.org

Connect with Somer on Instagram, Facebook and at somercolbert.com

Get this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

The enemy knows, if it is important to us - we can be found vulnerable.

What exactly does perfect mean and how are we defining that?

I find that it’s not about perfectionism, it’s about control.

We have to realize as moms that we are stewards, we’re not puppet masters.

Because it’s God’s plan for their lives, not our plans for their lives.

It’s not up to us, it’s up to God. - audio clip

We cannot impose our identity and self worth on our children and their behavior

The minute we do that, it places this terrible millstone around their neck.

We often take a snapshot of what our child is struggling with and project it through their entire life.

God is the perfect Father but look at His children.

2 Timothy 3:3-6

I was really trying to modify behavior and not change the heart.

I wanted that behavior modification because I wanted to look good.

I wanted to have that appearance that I was a good mom, that I had it all under control, that I was doing things the right way.

I had to get with the Lord and have Him root out that false foundation I had placed my identity on.

If my child acts up that does not mean I am a bad mom, that does not mean that I’m a failure, that does not mean that I am doing things wrong.

What is my child’s poor behavior teaching me?

Sometimes when we say no, that means we are a good mom.

As moms we are cultivating character. It’s not about cultivating an image, it’s about cultivating character.

2 Timothy 1:6-7

1. Think about what you’re thinking about.
2. Call it out and bring it into the light.
3. Write it down and find a verse that will combat the lie.
4. Get to work - keeping speaking God’s Truth over yourself

Lies are not only meant to discourage, they are meant to distract and take you off course.

We are called to be set apart, salt and light and difference makers but how can we do that if we are blending in with the crowd? 

We’ve been so conditioned as a society and even within the Christian community to avoid offense, follow the crowd and keep the peace. And yet now, more than ever, Mommas are answering a call to action and stepping out and making choices for their kids and their families that go completely against "the norm". This leaves a lot of people asking “why” and can create pressure for moms to feel like they need to prove their stance or justify their choices to a world who might attack these choices or simply not understand.

Author, speaker, host of the By His Grace podcast and founder of Spark Media, Misty Phillip, is no stranger to stepping out and doing things against the norm and that is why I am excited for you to hear from her today.

My heart for you, dear listener, is to give you a new sense of confidence, resolve and boldness you didn’t know you had to go out and combat a world that is unapologetically seeking the destruction of our kids, our families and ultimately, our faith.

God has given you everything you need to be the mother of your children. Your only task is to seek and trust Him as you disciple your children. 

Today, Misty and I will unpack issues like social pressure, mom-shaming and why it is so important now, more than ever, for Christian parents to stand out against and live life differently!

Connect with Misty at mistyphillip.com, or on Instagram and Facebook @mistyphillip

Connect with Somer at somercolbert.com or on Instagram @somercolbert

Download this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

The enemy has only a few tactics - he comes to discourage, to distract us, to think of anything other than the Lord

This lie is so effective because it is condemning

He (the enemy) uses the same tactics, it just manifests in different ways

Philippians 4:8 is a good filter to use when these thoughts come into our minds

If it’s a condemning thought - it’s not true

Take our thoughts captive and line them up with the Truth of scripture

Be the gatekeeper of our minds so we don’t dwell on it because then it becomes sin

What are we filling our minds with?

We have to be intentional with the choices we make

God gave us these children as gifts and that’s because He thinks we’re the one for the job

My family looks exactly the way God intended it to look

God is faithful to give us what we need when we focus on Him and that is why it is so important that we extinguish those lies

We have to be infused with the Word so the Word comes out of us.

If the Word is not in us the Word will not come out of us

The first step is understanding that we are in a battle

We have to fight for our kids hearts and minds and continually pouring into them

The more I had to make different choices the more it emboldened me

We have to change what we’re doing as a society because so many kids are walking away from their faith

Drop the facade that everything is perfect and ok

Surrounding yourself with a loving community is a game changer

When we’re isolated we’re more susceptible to those mind games the enemy plays

Have “God-fidence” knowing God has entrusted us to be the parents of our children and He will give us the wisdom we need to parent each child in the way we need

If you see mom-shaming, stop it, confront it and gently correct

God has given us everything we need to do our jobs as moms

God has us and our little disciples here “for such a time as this”

Proverbs 3:5-6

There’s peace in your decision making when you are trusting in Him

 

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend, author and speaker and host of Real Talk with Rachael, Rachael Gilbert, to take on a key lie the enemy uses to attack the hearts of Moms and really, all women.

The lie: I’m just too busy to take care of myself

Motherhood is hard on your body, your mind and your spirit because, honestly, it is just a demanding role that God gives us.

As busy moms we are prone to serve everyone around us and place our own care at the back of the line. We kinda can’t help it, it’s how God wired us as caregivers and overseers of our homes and families. But we also know when warning signs creep in through short tempers, lowered immune systems and burnout - that my friend is when it’s time to re-evaluate.

The Lord designed us for this hard work called motherhood but sometimes we just need the reminder that He desires a healthy balance of service and rest.

Today, Rachael and I want to call out the lies the enemy whispers to keep you frantic and exhausted and point you back to the Truth of God’s heart and His Word and give you practical steps to care for your temple, your heart and your mental health.

Connect with Rachael at rachaelgilbert.com and on Instagram!

Connect with Somer at somercolbert.com, on Instagram or check out the Ahavah Community private Facebook Group!

To download this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide, click HERE!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

You’re not alone in this struggle - the enemy loves to isolate us and make us think we are the only one struggling

When I’m wrestling with a lie of any sort, I always want to get to the root of where did the lie come from and does it have any validity.

You might have a root lie that I’m not enough or worthy -  it really comes down to a value issue, what do we see as valuable and what does God see as valuable

Mom’s have such a servant heart.

It is noble at the end of the day that the first ball we are willing to drop is our own

Warning signals:

Numbing out - shutting out all of your feelings

Health falling apart

Snapping at your kids

Change in libido

When you no longer love the things you used to

Burnout

Check in: How’s your heart?

Am I numbing out?

Is my heart sad?

Follow the peace, not the pressure

The world puts pressure on us, but let’s be honest, we put pressure on ourselves too.

When you are letting pressure guide your decisions, you will experience anxiety

Following the peace doesn’t always look like an easy decision, sometimes it’s the harder decision.

You can have peace when making a hard choice.

Self care has gotten a bad wrap because we think it’s supposed to look the same for everyone.

Your thoughts affect your feelings and your feelings affect your behavior

So if the enemy can mess with my thoughts, he gets to mess with my feelings and my behaviors or my actions.

Our body is a temple to be taken care of, not an idol to be worshipped

When we actually steward our temple well, not only do we get the benefits of the fruit that’s produced, but our family does as well because we feel better.

You are a daughter of the Most High God and He cares about all of the things you are going through. Not only does He care but He is here to set you free!

All throughout scripture we are taught the importance of prayer and communicating with God and yet, I haven’t met a mom yet who has this practice down the way she would like. Every mom I talk to truly desires more time in prayer but I often hear them sharing that they are defeated and discouraged by a lack of time, life’s constant distractions and feeling completely inadequate.

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend, author and speaker, Sarah Keeling to take on a key lie the enemy uses to attack the hearts of Moms.

The lie: I’m just too busy to pray

Sarah and I want to encourage you to take on the enemy and this lie with a battle plan straight from God’s Word and show you His purpose and design for prayer, His heart behind it and give you practical and guilt free steps to get you started.

Connect with Sarah at her website and on Instagram

Grab a copy of Psalm Prayers for Kids HERE!

Connect with Somer on Instagram, Facebook and at somercolbert.com

Grab your FREE download of this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

Moms feel like they have to have tons of uninterrupted time - and we don’t

Sometimes we have too much on our mental plate

Praying the Bible - Donald S. Whitney

Satan wants us to stay stuck, anxious and disconnected

We know Biblical prayer is our weapon

“Prayer is the power that wields the weapon of the Word.” - John Piper

If we don’t spend time in prayer we try to do things in our own strength.

We’re so much more powerful when we’re surrendered to God.

Prayer is our only offensive weapon when you look at the armor of God

The Screwtape Letters - C.S. Lewis

It’s ideal to have your own quiet time with God, but if you can’t, it’s ok to do it with your kids too. That doesn’t disqualify that time with God.

Keep the tiny humans alive and point them to Jesus

Every day that we’re alive is a battle for our family and for our kids.

The enemy is going to do everything he can to break down your family and prevent you from being an effective discipler of your kids.

We can’t afford NOT to pray. You can’t win the battle without the weapon.

We can’t hear God if we are drowning in all the noise.

Prayer is a discipline and a practice. Disciple means learner. It takes practice to be still.

There are so many expectations on moms and none of them are realistic.

There’s so much freedom in asking for help.

Really think about what is preventing you from praying?

James 4:8 - Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Matthew 6

Start simple.

Find an easy method to pray scripture.

God is not looking at you with judgement and condemnation when you come back to Him.

Kick your shame to the curb. God doesn’t deal in shame.

Every time our seasons change, we have to adjust.

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend, Bible Teacher, author of Girlfriends in the Word and host of the Girlfriends in the Word podcast, Natalia Drumm.

I am so excited to share this discussion with you today as Natalia and I take on the lie: I’m Just Too Busy To Read the Bible!

Natalia’s passion is to help make Bible study encouraging, understandable and sustainable for every woman in every season of life.

As busy moms, it is a given that it is a battle to find time to spend in God’s Word and yet we know, as Christians, that time in God’s Word is the single most important use of our time next to prayer.

Each season of life presents new challenges that compete for our time and attention that can draw us away from reading our Bibles on a daily basis. Add in the expectations set by both ourselves and Christian culture and you will find some pretty discouraged Mamas feeling shame and condemnation when those expectations are not met.

Natalia and I are here today to talk openly and honestly about the struggle...because, yes Mama, it is real. We’re going to give practical tips to free you of those expectations leading to condemnation and encourage you to get back to the most important reason we read God’s Word - relationship.

Connect with Natalia on Instagram and at www.nataliadrumm.com to check out her Bible study resources mentioned today.

Connect with Somer on Instagram and Facebook @somercolbert and at www.somercolbert.com 

Download this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

The enemy knows that if we are in our Bibles and we are getting God’s Word, God’s Word is getting into us and it will absolutely transform everything we touch.

God’s Word is power and the enemy doesn't want us to have power.

Satan is crafty, not creative.

The enemy gives us just enough truth to discourage us but not enough truth to get us where we need to be.

In the race to be best we’ve lost what’s good.

As Christian women, we are getting a lot of noise from all different directions and somewhere in that we’ve lost wisdom.

Church and our relationship with God has essentially become something we check off a list and we wonder why we struggle on Monday through Saturday.

We’ve given up responsibility of fueling our souls to the pastors in the pulpit.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - when you want to know what God wants from you, read this passage

As you are out doing the things, that’s how you make disciples.

Whether you are sitting in a laundry room or a board room, God is calling us to love Him with everything that we have and that works out in our day to day, mundane everyday life.

We all have the same 24 hours. How we choose to steward that time is a different story.

​​Let’s not lose sight of the fact that it’s simple… but it’s hard to accomplish

We get scared when things get hard, but we have to remember that God made us to do these hard and holy things

We are not too weak a women that we can’t accomplish this.

When God calls us to abide in Him and He calls us to spend time with Him and He wants to build this relationship with us, He’s not asking for something we can’t do. It just becomes an issue of prioritizing what we want to do.

Christianity is not for the faint in heart and it is not for the weak in spirit.

I am not responsible to multiply what God is doing. I am just responsible to show up.

God has assigned me this season, this period of time, because I am the girl for the job. He’s given it to me. He trusts me with it. So how can I give it back to the Master?

As busy Moms, we often find ourselves in a survival mindset rather than a growth mindset. We have good intentions to plant those good seeds and cultivate fertile soil in the hearts of our children and within ourselves, yet too often we despise seasons of growth as we seek quick fixes and fast results.

The enemy waits to plant lies into our minds that we are responsible for every aspect of growth in our children’s lives and if we don’t see it, we must be doing something wrong.

Through this honest discussion today, author Sarah Philpott is going to share practical tips and Biblical encouragement as it relates to the growth journey.

Grab a copy of Sarah's new book releasing October 12th, The Growing Season HERE!

Connect with Sarah by going to allamericanmom.net or on Instagram

Connect with Somer on Instagram, Facebook or at somercolbert.com

Download this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE!

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

We are trying to quick solve our issues instead of trusting the Lord

The lie the growth must happen quickly comes when we as mothers think we are in control when really we are not. We are caretakers of these children’s lives.

The greater challenge of motherhood is the release and the understanding the role of stewardship rather than control.

We want quick fixes and we don’t like when things are uncomfortable.

We have to realize that we are doing is so important and we will see the growth

I do believe that the enemy tries to steal our joy throughout motherhood when we just need to be able to realize that our work is important.

We have to be able to see our trials as opportunities for growth

If we believe these lies, we are going to just wallow in this pit of despair

You can deliver a sucker punch to the enemy when you choose joy

Our kids are not problems to be solved or issues to be fixed. They are lives to steward.

“This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it.” - Psalm 118:24

Stop and look around you and find what is joyful.

We are going to be such better mothers when we abide.

When the enemy tries to whisper those lies, redirect your mind and say: “No! I am a good mother. I am loving my children. I am a child of God.”

Give yourself a checklist that you know you can accomplish

As moms, we are part of this planting and watering but ultimately it is God who gives the growth and we can rest assured, we can have that faith that God is in all of this and it is all going to be ok.

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend, Author and Host of the Breathe: The Stress Less podcast, Bonnie Gray.

Bonnie writes regularly for DaySpring’s (in)courage and is the author of Whispers of Rest, Finding Spiritual Whitespace and today, we are going to be talking about her latest release: Sweet Like Jasmine - A memoir sharing her story as the daughter of a mail order bride, abandoned by her father at the age of 7 to be raised by her toxic and abusive mother.

Bonnie’s real life story is beautifully told like a novel that will have you turning page after page and I can’t wait for you to hear from her today as she speaks to the lies she battled as a result of her upbringing.

Join me for this special episode as Bonnie shares her story, excerpts from her new book release and offers encouragement to the Mom who comes from broken places.

In this episode, Bonnie discusses lies she believed such as:

You cannot be sad. 

No one is going to help you. 

You have to do everything on your own.

Nobody wants to hear your story. Nobody can relate to it.

Don’t talk about how lonely you feel.

There are parts of me I need to cut off, shut down and not talk about.

You can connect with Bonnie on Instagram @thebonniegray and at her website: thebonniegray.com

Grab a copy of Sweet Like Jasmine and the FREE audio book by going to sweetlikejasmine.com

You can connect with Somer on Instagram and Facebook @somercolbert and her website: somercolbert.com

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS from Today's Episode:

We need a safe place to confide in God and in each other.

2 Corinthians 2:14-15

How can we share the fragrance of God’s love? It’s when we share our weaknesses.

The world’s view of triumph: I’m looking beautiful, awesome and nothings wrong and I’m always positive and always strong.

He completes you using things you already have.

I was serving in the church so I didn’t want anyone to think I was broken

I realized it wasn’t shameful that I was having anxiety and panic attacks, it was because I’ve been strong.

It’s not about just being from broken families - every woman has a different story.

Even though you’ve experienced brokenness, it doesn’t disqualify you from being a good mom.

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend from Christian Parenting.org, author and host of the Pardon the Mess podcast, Cynthia Yanof, and we are here to take on a very important lie the enemy speaks to the hearts of every single Mom - and quite frankly, every single woman regardless of your parenting status.

The lie is: I Am Not Enough

When I surveyed my readers and listeners in preparing for this podcast series, this lie was by far the one I heard most. It is a lie that gets us right where we are weak and vulnerable because, let’s face it, we struggled with this lie before we were moms, before we were wives, and even before we were grown!

There is a reason why this lie is so common and so effective and today, Cynthia and I are going to tackle this lie head on and give you some practical advice, scripture to lean into and share some real life battle scars of our own as we continue facing this lie in our own lives.

Get ready, sister. This conversation will have you laughing and shouting “me too” as you listen but it will also give you the tools you need to defeat this lie in your own life.

You can connect with Cynthia on Instagram, her website: cynthiayanof.com and don't miss the Pardon the Mess podcast! 

Grab your copy of Joyful, Patient, Faithful: A Parent's Prayer Journal for the 2021-2022 School Year by clicking HERE!

You can connect with Somer on Instagram and Facebook 

Grab your copy of this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE! 

FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:

The enemy tailor makes the lies he speaks to us

If we realize his motives, we can get angry in a healthy way and stand against his lies

Two ways we respond to his lies:

1. Paralysis - we step out
2. Step in too much - we chase after things that aren’t necessarily God’s plan for our kids

Find perfect peace in God’s sovereignty over your parenting

Our best parenting comes when we are chasing after the Lord

“Don’t be afraid of failing. Be afraid of succeeding at the wrong things.” - Francis Chan

Why do we agree with the enemy’s lies?

1. We feel overlooked

1 John 2:20

I’m not overlooked - I’m anointed

1. We feel disqualified

Know how to repent and know your identity

We don’t have to have this idea that we should have already achieved this perfection as a mom, as soon as we become a mom.

Let’s not compare, let’s model after.

Guard who you allow to speak into your parenting

Everyone has an opinion - that’s overwhelming and that starts a comparison game.

Don’t reject teachable moments because you are threatened by another’s perceived perfection.

Esther 4:14 - “Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created.”

If our impact wasn’t significant, the enemy wouldn’t go after it.

Wherever you are feeling “not good enough” - remember, He is raising up good in those places

Sit in God’s Word and sit in the truth of your anointing

In today’s episode I am joined by my friend, author and host of the Kingdom Mamas Podcast, Trudy Lonesky, to take on a very important lie the enemy speaks to the hearts of Moms.

The lie is: I’m Fighting A Losing Battle - the world’s influence is greater than mine - and here’s why we are discussing this topic today...

The enemy’s pursuit of the misleading and destruction of our children, I believe, is worse than ever before. With countless outside influences speaking conflicting messages into their hearts and minds, how can Christian Moms stay ahead of the game and maintain godly influence over their children’s lives?

Take heart, Mama, you are bolder, stronger and more capable than you can possibly imagine and today, Trudy and I want to encourage and empower you to take on the enemy with a battle plan straight from God’s Word.

You can connect with Trudy on Instagram and Facebook and be sure to listen to the Kingdom Mamas podcast!

You can connect with Somer on Instagram and Facebook - and be sure to download this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide HERE!

Favorite Takeaways and Scriptures Referenced in today's episode:

Ephesians 6:12

Whatever is precious to God is precious to the enemy

The enemy wants nothing more than to take the identities of our children and to lie to them on the daily and to turn them away from God because, let’s face it, we are raising the next generation of disciples. So we have to stand firm and rebuke these lies.

The enemy wants nothing more than to disconnect the family unit and that foundation that we are creating in our children to create Christ followers.

John 10:10

He wants nothing more than to keep our children from spreading the gospel and being a light in this dark world

He wants this world to be dark and noisy and he wants it to be confusing for them

Operate in an Ephesians 6 mindset

If we stand as a victim, we are not actively creating “God-fidence” = God confidence

Are we looking for worldly valuation or are we looking to scripture?

Our thought life is powerful

Phillipians 4:8 Is it true, noble, kind, praiseworthy? If it’s not, it’s not of God and it has to go.

Let’s take a step back from what’s being said to you - if’ its not, it’s not God breathed.

Let’s disconnect from that and let’s hold on to Truth.

God says I’m chosen, God says I’m set apart, God says that He has plans and a future for me.

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

It’s time to stand out through the way that we live our lives.

Bark technology

Pinwheel phone

We are spiritual guardians over our children from the time they are entrusted to us

Declarations of prayer over your child:

This child is covered by the blood of Christ

The plans of the enemy will not prosper against this child

I will loose and bind any spirit that comes against this child

This soul must be so precious because both God and the enemy are after it

The Word is our weapon

Jesus countered everything the enemy said with God’s Word

Psalm 91 - insert your child’s name in that passage

Proverbs 3:5-6

Jeremiah 29:11

The Blessing - by Kari Jobe

You Version Bible App 

Audible

We are in a series called Lies Good Moms Believe and today we are taking on the lie: “someone else could do a better job than me”.

This was a topic that came about as a result of a survey I did with my readers and listeners and this lie was one that really stood out to me, because, as I got to thinking about it, I believe is an unspoken battle for many moms, right? 

This lie speaks shame, failure, inadequacy and a questioning of God’s sovereignty - ultimately, to agree with this lie is to confess out loud that we don’t believe that God got it right when He made us the mother of our kids...and what a dangerous lie to agree with!

In today’s episode we are taking on this lie and joining me in this discussion, is Author, speaker and Community Manager for Dayspring’s (in)courage - Becky Keife! 

Becky is the author of multiple books and Bible studies including, “No Better Mom for the Job” and her latest release: The Simple Difference.

Get ready for some honest talk from two Mamas just doing our best and trusting God to do the rest!

Connect with Somer on Instagram, Facebook and Sign up for this week's Lies Good Moms Believe Prayer Guide!

Connect with Becky on Instagram and at beckykeife.com and check out her books: No Better Mom for the Job and The Simple Difference!

SHOW NOTES:

Because we care so much, we are faced with our own inadequacies

Today we have an extra layer of struggle living in the social media age where we see a highlight reel of other people’s lives

Sometimes we don’t realize we are living under this blanket of inadequacy and shame

Learn to study your child and yourself and set boundaries that set you up for success

I’m going to fail my child

I’m not going to be what they need

What if what I have to give is not enough for what is needed?

When we’re stuck in this lie, we are stuck in our own lack. When we are focused on our lack we are not looking to rely on God’s power and that’s what the enemy stands to gain by convincing us this (lie) is true.

Deuteronomy 31:8

We need to be fully reliant on God in order to steward these lives well.

Do I trust God or do I believe He made a mistake in pairing me and my sons together?

Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong

Just because I feel like I’m not cut out for it doesn’t mean God made a mistake - there is a plan and a purpose for this journey.

As I am helping my kids grow up, God is helping me grow too.

God is going to use your relationship with your kids as an opportunity for your own growth

1. Be honest with God. He can handle your doubts, your pain, your frustration, your fears. As women, we often don’t realize how much we are holding in. Journal, go on walks, get it out in order to be able to hold more.
2. Philippians 1:6 - the One who began a good work in you...Friend, your story is not over - God is continuing to do a good work in you!