Loving that Midlife

What if the goal of life isn’t to avoid every difficult experience, but to become the kind of person who can navigate difficult experiences well? In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores what it means to see life itself as a curriculum—and why some of the hardest things we experience may teach us lessons we couldn’t learn any other way.

This can be especially difficult when it comes to adult children. As mothers, we often want to rescue the people we love from disappointment, bad decisions, failure, and consequences. But sometimes our job is not to fix the problem. It’s to support them while allowing them to learn their own lessons. You can give advice, encouragement, wisdom, and support—but you can’t take the class for them.

Lori also turns the idea back toward ourselves. What if the changing body, empty nest, changing relationships, disappointment, uncertainty, or unexpected seasons of midlife are opportunities to become more capable, resilient, and emotionally grounded? That doesn’t mean every hard thing happens for a reason or that we have to pretend difficult experiences are good. It means we can stay curious about what an experience might have to teach us.

In this episode, Lori offers three questions for navigating the hard things we can’t immediately fix: How do I sit in the discomfort? How do I stay curious and open? And what does this curriculum have for me to learn? Because sometimes the lesson isn’t about getting out of the difficult season—it’s about learning how to live well while you’re in it.

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How often do you find yourself digging in because you know you’re right? Maybe it’s an argument with your husband, a disagreement with an adult child, or simply frustration when someone doesn’t do something the way you think it should be done. But what if being right isn’t always the most important thing?

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores the question, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Drawing from the second commitment in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, Lori looks at what it means to learn through curiosity instead of becoming defensive and committed to our own perspective.

This doesn’t mean giving up your convictions or pretending every opinion is equally valid. Sometimes truth matters, and sometimes we need to stand our ground. But we can also major on the minors, defend opinions as though they are facts, and damage relationships over things that may not matter nearly as much as we think they do. Lori explores the role of ego and our brain’s desire for safety, along with the powerful question, “What else could be true?”

The goal isn’t to become a person who never wants to be right. It’s to become more aware of when being right has become more important than what actually matters. Lori offers several questions to help you pause, get curious, and decide whether this is really a hill worth dying on.

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What if the way you’re experiencing your life has less to do with what’s happening around you and more to do with the way you’re relating to what happens? In midlife, it’s easy to find ourselves thinking, “This is just how things are,” or “There’s nothing I can do about it.” But what if there’s another way to approach the life we’re living?

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck introduces two ideas from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: “To Me” and “By Me.” “To Me” is the belief that life happens to us, while “By Me” recognizes that we have agency and can participate in creating the life we’re living—even when we can’t control our circumstances or other people.

Lori also introduces the book’s concept of living above or below the line and connects it to familiar ideas from coaching and brain science. Below the line—closed, defensive, and committed to being right—is often our default. The goal isn’t to shame ourselves for being there, but to notice it and become curious about what’s happening.

The question Lori wants you to take with you this week is simple: What is mine to do? You may not be able to change the circumstance, another person, or everything about your life. But you can begin to recognize where you have agency—and move from feeling like life is happening to you toward actively participating in what happens next.

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You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

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Email: [email protected]

What if quitting isn’t failure? We’ve been told that quitters never win and that we should finish what we start—but sometimes continuing to do something that no longer works for us isn’t perseverance. Sometimes it’s simply staying stuck.

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores what it means to change your mind in midlife. Maybe you’ve outgrown a tradition, a family role, a responsibility, or even something you once genuinely loved. Lori shares personal stories about quitting piano as a child, hating track, stepping away from a decades-long tradition, and rethinking how she approaches everyday responsibilities.

She also talks about what happens when women wait until they’ve reached their breaking point and want to “burn it all down.” Sometimes the answer isn’t quitting altogether—it’s changing how we do something, sharing the responsibility, or becoming more selective about where we spend our energy.

Midlife gives us an opportunity to ask some important questions: Do I still want this? Would I choose it today? Am I doing it because I want to, or because I’ve always done it? And do I need to quit, change it, or simply stop carrying it alone? Changing your mind doesn’t mean you were wrong before. Sometimes it means you’ve grown.

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Email: [email protected]

What are you waiting for?

In midlife, it's easy to put our lives on hold while we wait for something to change. We tell ourselves we'll be happier when the kids are more independent, when our marriage is better, when our bodies feel different, when we have more time, or when we finally figure out what we want.

But what if we're spending too much of our lives in what Dr. Seuss called the “Waiting Place”?

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores why we wait for circumstances to change—and the deeper truth that we're often waiting for those circumstances to make us feel a certain way. What if you could begin creating some of those feelings now, rather than making your happiness dependent on something happening in the future?

This isn't about pretending you don't want things to change. It's about learning how to stop putting your life on hold while you wait.

Lori shares practical coaching questions to help you identify what you're waiting for, uncover how you expect it to make you feel, and consider what you can begin creating right now.

And in this week's Midlife Moment, Lori discovers that her long-awaited trip to 30A taught her something surprising about what she actually wanted—and that maybe the fancy beach experience wasn't nearly as important as a soft-serve ice cream cone and a tacky beach souvenir.

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

And if you loved this episode, please rate the show and leave a review so others can find it, too.  

You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

Facebook: Lori Buck Coaching

Website: www.loribuckcoaching.com 

Email: [email protected]

What if the thing making a hard situation even harder isn't the circumstance itself—but the fight you're having with the fact that it's happening?

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores what it means to stop fighting reality when you're facing something you can't change. Because some circumstances really are hard. Dementia, addiction, difficult relationships, health struggles, loss, and other painful realities don't become easy just because we think differently about them.

But while we can't always change our circumstances, we can notice when our thoughts, expectations, and attempts to control the uncontrollable are adding another layer of suffering.

Lori shares a powerful coaching question: “What if we take changing reality off the table?” And from there, she explores how we can stop asking, “How do I make this situation different?” and start asking, “Given that this is the situation, what do I want to do?”

This isn't about giving up or pretending hard things aren't hard. It's about recognizing where you have agency—and learning how to make your experience of a difficult circumstance easier.

Because sometimes you can't change reality.

But you don't have to keep fighting it, either.

And in this week's Midlife Moment, Lori discovers that preparing for a long-awaited beach vacation isn't quite as relaxing as the vacation itself—including a broken dryer, perimenopause, a sick daughter, and an indoor clothesline that has her family feeling like they're living on the prairie.

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

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You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

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Website: www.loribuckcoaching.com 

Email: [email protected]

What happens when your body changes in midlife—and you don't know whether the change is temporary or your new normal? A sore joint, lingering injury, hormonal changes, or a new physical limitation can leave you wondering, “Can I fix this, or is this the body I have now?”

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, Lori Buck explores the emotional side of living in a changing midlife body, including the uncertainty, fear, frustration, and grief that can come when our bodies don't work the way they used to.

Lori talks about the difference between acceptance and giving up. You can pursue healing, care for your body, and hope for change while also learning to live well with what is true today. She also looks at the Christian perspective on suffering and why physical struggles aren't evidence that we've failed God.

And in this week's Midlife Moment, Lori discovers that her beloved hair routine may actually be destroying her hair. Because apparently, even our hair has decided midlife needs to be an adventure.

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You can also follow me on my socials:

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Email: [email protected]

What happens when you decide to learn something new in midlife—and suddenly find yourself feeling like you should already know how to do it?

That’s the topic Lori Buck covers this week on Loving That Midlife, because it's exactly where she's found herself recently while starting a new music theory class. Although she's excited to learn, she's also had some moments of frustration, self-doubt, and more than a little resistance to being a beginner. She's caught herself thinking, I should know this already.”

But maybe the better question isn’t, “Why don’t I already know this?”

Maybe it’s, “What am I willing to feel in order to get what I want?”

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, we’re talking about what we can gain when we’re willing to be beginners again. Because learning something new can require us to tolerate frustration, confusion, awkwardness, vulnerability, and even the feeling that we’re not very good at something—at least not yet.

And discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean something has gone wrong. Sometimes discomfort is simply part of learning.

We’ll talk about why being a beginner can actually build confidence, expand our possibilities, and make us more empathetic toward people who are struggling to learn something we already know how to do. We’ll also talk about the expectations we carry in midlife and how the thought “I should have learned this already” can keep us from learning it now.

Because there are things you may want in this season of your life that require you to be willing to feel uncomfortable first.

So what are you curious about? What would you try if you gave yourself permission to be a beginner? And what might be waiting for you on the other side of the discomfort?

It’s never too late to learn something new.

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

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You can also follow me on my socials:

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Email: [email protected]

You pictured college drop-off a certain way. Maybe there would be tears, hugs, a meaningful goodbye, and a Hallmark-worthy moment with your child.

But what if reality looks completely different?

What if your child is anxious, distracted, excited to leave, or seems ready for you to go? What if the goodbye you've imagined for months lasts five minutes in a parking lot?

In this episode of Loving That Midlife, we're talking about what to do when college drop-off doesn't meet your expectations—and how to handle your sadness and disappointment without making your child responsible for your emotions.

I'll share a story about a mom who was so disappointed by her son's goodbye that she told him she was disappointed in him. It's a powerful example of what can happen when an unmet expectation becomes a judgment of our child's character.

We'll talk about the difference between unvoiced expectations and unrealistic expectations, why your child's attitude is on them but your response is on you, and how to feel your emotions without asking your child to make you feel better.

We'll also touch on what comes next when the house feels a little emptier—and the surprising realization that your child may not need you less. They may just need you differently.

If you're navigating college drop-off, launching a child into adulthood, or struggling with the emotions that come when reality doesn't match what you hoped for, this episode is for you.

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

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You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

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Website: www.loribuckcoaching.com 

Email: [email protected]

What happens when your teenager is getting ready to leave for college—and suddenly everything feels a little… weird?

They’re excited to leave, but they’re also irritated, distant, argumentative, or picking fights with their siblings. You’re trying to soak up these “last few weeks” together, while also wondering why everyone seems to be getting on everyone else’s nerves.

If you’ve experienced this, you may be familiar with soiling the nest—that strange season when a teenager seems to push you away just as they’re preparing to leave home.

This year we’re looking at what happens when the whole family is navigating the transition. What about the siblings who are getting the emotional fallout? How do you hold boundaries while still giving your teenager grace? And how do you stop putting pressure on yourself to make these final weeks together perfectly memorable?

We’ll talk about understanding your teen without excusing disrespect, giving them space without withdrawing emotionally, and keeping your focus on the long-term relationship you want with your adult child.

And in this week’s Midlife Moment, I’m taking you along on my recent trip to England with my youngest daughter after her study abroad in Italy. Ten days, three cities, a LOT of walking, aching feet, British museums, trains, getting lost, and a surprising lesson in letting go of control—and embracing my role as a very happy passenger princess.

Because whether your child is leaving for college or you’re simply navigating one of the many transitions of midlife, there’s something important to remember:

The good doesn’t have to cancel out the hard. And the hard doesn’t mean something has gone wrong.

Welcome to the 50/50 life. 

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

And if you loved this episode, please rate the show and leave a review so others can find it, too.  

You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

Facebook: Lori Buck Coaching

Website: www.loribuckcoaching.com 

Email: [email protected]