Despite ongoing water safety issues, town rejects proposed water treatment facility, Hundreds flock to English town's new 'tourist attraction': An abandoned sofa, Australian radio station secretly used an AI host for 6 months, Inmate with previous escape charge attempts escape with 2 days left in sentence

Florida woman who is 88-yrs-old arrested for fleeing the scene after striking 77-yr-old woman who was on a mobility scooter in Sam's Club parking lot, UPDATE: $325,000 was wagered by people on the world's first sperm race, Headline of the week contender #2: Southwest Airlines passenger allegedly strips naked, poops on plane seat during flight

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

UPDATE: Two suspects arrested in connection with theft of DHS Secretary Kristi Noem's purse...BONUS: BOTH are in The United States illegally...uh oh..., Snake falls into margarita of woman at restaurant in Virginia, Headline of the week contender #1: Perv doctor secretly filmed 30 people because 'he was concerned about small penis'

Did you ever think "I would really like to own my own personal satellite"?...a Las Vegas company will sell you one, Georgia police arrest wheelchair-bound man who has been paralyzed for the last 25 years, on home invasion charges, Rogue woodpecker the "size of a crow" has damaged over 25 cars in Massachusetts town

Recap of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly newsmakers of the week

Man discovers he paid $26,000 to buy back his own stolen car, Because the world needs to know: Fyre Festival 2 latest update is a total stunner, Personal care product company Billie launches NYC ad campaign with 'scratch and sniff' billboards of armpits

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

Brooklyn man admits to running 'cocaine delivery service', Today's new 'serious health risk' is apparently paper receipts, Cannibal Corpse played in Pittsburgh this week and a loving couple got married in the mosh pit

Demi Moore is the 'World's Most Beautiful Person' according to 'People', Jelly Roll may end up getting a full pardon for his crimes, Headline of the week contender: 6th graders science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?' Irish guy went to a bachelor party and lost his car...for three weeks