Suspected drunk boater ran his 60 ft. sport fishing boat into the USS Midway Aircraft Carrier which is a floating museum docked in San Diego, World's longest-serving KFC worker has died, Canadian women says standards needed for how landlords clean apartments after someone dies...this after her apartment was infested with maggots from the dead body in the unit above hers, Lightning gets a hole-in-one on Florida golf course and leaves its mark

Beyonce fan spooked by insect causes escalator stampede after Atlanta concert, leaving 11 people injured, Suspect stole a fire truck in Washington state from the scene of a medical emergency and proceeded to seriously damage over a dozen parked cars, Firefighter ends baseball game with fire hose after ball hit his car at fire station

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

'Seedy' sex festival sparks noise complaints as 1000 swingers descend on sleepy town for 3-day-event: Loud moaning sounds, Thai woman arrested allegedly sleeping with multiple Buddhist monks and then blackmailing them, New unauthorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow describes naughty sex act she loved performing when she was dating Ben Affleck

Man critically injured after getting sucked into MRI machine on Long Island, Canadian company dealing with daily unsolicited phone calls from people about their 'missing cat'...problem is, their cat is not missing and some assbag designer listed their phone number on a shirt being sold, Arkansas first responders rescued a small raccoon who got his head stuck inside a can of Campbell's Chunky Soup

Recap of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly newsmakers of the week

Final headline of the week contender: Man arrested after allegedly chugging Tabasco sauce and challenging others to a fight, 44% of working adults now believe having an active social media presence is more likely to hurt someone's career than help, Married CEO is in quite the awkward spot after being spotted on 'Kiss Cam' at Coldplay concert embracing his also married 'CPO'...Chief People Officer (ironically, current day corporate speak for 'head of HR')

Mike is a sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on AM 740 and FM 96.9 The Game

California woman has given birth to all 4 of her children on the same date in different years, It Happened Again: Daredevil edition as Felix Baumgartner dies while paragliding, An Egyptian man is getting roasted on the socials after he dumped his new bride into a swimming pool...in her wedding dress

Government of Taiwan has asked citizens to please stop renaming themselves 'Salmon', Truck hauling dump trailer spills 20,000 rotten eggs onto roadway in Lancaster, Pennsylavania, American man who was duped into moving his family to Russia has now been tricked into front line combat in war with Ukraine