Woman comes home to discover her parrot has learned the phrase 'Show Us Your T**S', Guy overdosed on liquid Viagra suffers permanent damage to both his retinas, Georgia woman washes back some pills with sippy cup full of booze while taking her 5-yr-old to the movies and blacks out, HS cheerleader in Michigan accused of trading pot brownies for homecoming queen votes

Prostitute hired by off-duty NYC cop ends up stealing his car and gun, Hasbro just put out a new Play-Doh set called 'Poop Troop', U of North Florida dean resigns after reported sex act on campus, 3rd woman claims inappropriate touching and kissing by Dr. Dick

Today, The Shot Dr. offers his expert opinion on all things wiener related...

Man wanted for violation of probation caught dumpster-diving in police station parking lot---he was 'looking for cool stuff', Golf fan who was struck in eye during Ryder Cup plans to sue, CLAPPING has been banned at The University of Manchester, ABC rolls out the first promo for 'The Conners' with no explanation of what happened to character played by Roseanne Barr

Taco answers your legal questions this week as Jeff Kaufman is out of town. For the love of God, please DON'T follow any of Taco's 'advice'...

Mike is the sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on FM 96.9 The Game

Aggressive goats addicted to human urine airlifted out of Olympic National Park in Washington St.,Texas mom charged after reportedly allowing her 10-yr-old son to be tattooed by 16-yr-old, Pennsylvania man accused of stealing $400K and spending it on strippers and hockey tickets, State police have to use helicopter to break up out of control tailgate party before Ohio St.-Penn St game

39-yr-old man caught egging Longwood police station 'wanted to cause anarchy', Burglar attempts to throw brick through bulletproof glass and it bounces back and knocks him out for a few minutes, Royal Caribbean refunds passengers of cruise that was overtaken by 1300 rowdy tobacco executives, Inventor shows off his ridiculous 'lemonade machine'

Lynch & Taco have the latest happenings from the music world...

Restaurant tried to charge acid attack victim for cup of water to rinse his eyes, Uber driver catches spouse having an affair after picking them up as passengers, So a horse walks into a bar..., The leaking Memphis mailman leaves disgusting trail for homeowner