College student mortified after accidentally turning in college paper addressed to 'Professor whats his nuts', Woman wants Costco to pay her $35K because she says she returned a freezer with life savings stashed inside, Edmonton pilot program to slash traffic noise backfires, Raccoon scales tall building then takes a crazy header from 7 floors up

Mike is the sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on FM 96.9 The Game

Someone donated 2 pallets of bananas to the Texas DOC and there was $18 Million in cocaine stashed inside, Toothless Texas inmates will not receive dentures in state prison, Sharkey's Lounge and strip club in Dayton shutdown for accepting food stamps for lap dances, Motorist in Canada accidentally drives right into tornado

Guy hires Mariachi band to serenade his girlfriend...turns out she is married to the lead singer, Kentucky police officer arrested for being drunk at the firearms training range, Man runs from police after robbing liquor store---turns himself in after swarm of mosquitoes attack him, School bus driver arrested for allowing 3 students to drive the bus

Marc is the play-by-play voice of The UCF Knights and host of 'The Beat of Sports' on FM 96.9 The Game

Air pressure mix-up causes mass bleeding on Indian flight, Surgeon denies negligence in removing woman's healthy kidney, Mom ends up in court after taking teen daughter's phone away, School Bus driver stops and picks up hitchhiker and his dog with bus full of students

The worst humanity has to offer vie to wear the weekly crown of shame

Mike is the sports columnist for The Orlando Sentinel and host of 'Open Mike' on FM 96.9 The Game

Update: Man who had his toddler climb inside arcade prize machine turns himself in, New Orleans police are searching for a vandal who is slashing convertible tops and dumping deer urine into cars, Woman accused of using glitter and crayons to sneak drugs to boyfriend in jail, Cops are looking for a couple who shoplifted $200 worth of diarrhea medicine from drug store, Holly Hill bartender arrested after throwing beer mug at customer and lacerating his head

Apple rolled out a measuring app and of course, everyone is using it to measure their junk, Couple transported to hospital after man gets his head stuck IN her no-no place, British woman on vacation in Spain reportedly finds dead tortoise in her no-no place, Toothbrush company apologizes for 'spit or swallow' ad campaign aimed at college freshmen