Make Your Damn Bed

A big part of our personal baseline of happiness is based on our relative comparison to the world around us. Basically - we are only as happy as is appropriate to the level of happiness we believe the people around us are. In the most laymen terms - we are constantly comparing to what we know but we typically don’t know the whole story. Even when we’re aware of this shortcoming, we still seem to measure our own happiness and success by comparing ourselves to others.

Studies show that bronze medal winners are happier than silver because they are comparing to the baseline of almost not ranking and the silver medal winner is more likely to be a bit disappointed because they’re comparing their baseline to ALMOST winning gold. Generally, we wouldn’t want nice cars or decent jobs or great educations if the society around us didn’t put value on that shit. We’d never buy name brands if we didn’t see other people - that we have deemed successful and happy - with those brands. 

Comparison is the thief of joy, but in a lot of ways it’s also the creator of it. 

So stay conscious of this shit, if you can and recognize when your baseline you’re using to compare yourself is unrealistic, unattainable, or just plain unattractive to you. Tomorrow I will continue this relative comparison series with some more examples from my real life and some ways to combat it’s tendency to make us feel like we’re lacking in comparison to the world around us. 

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Take time to make time. 

I recently spent 30 seconds to fix a drawer that has been inconveniencing me only slightly for the last 8 years. My life has changed dramatically since taking that 30 seconds out of my day and probably saved me 5 minutes of frustration already, and I only just fixed it.

Look for ways in your life and surroundings where you can take a little time to make a little time. It’s worth it. 

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You’re not taking time for yourself you’re making more of it. 

When you're trying to catch up or get out of a funk, don’t focus on the tasks - focus on YOU and your systems and your foundations and the rest will fall into place. It sounds counterintuitive but when you take the extra time to eat your veggies and drink your water and shower and tidy and show up for yourself first - it actually buys you time to show up for the other shit better in the long run. 

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https://www.nedratawwab.com/set-boundaries-find-peace

I have always struggled with boundary setting and even though I recognize my people pleasing tendencies now and avoid falling into the same patterns most of the time - I still struggle with saying no to things I like doing. It’s a weird thing - I can say no without explanation to any fucking thing that doesn’t interest me -but I will rework my entire schedule to accommodate anyone and anything if it means getting to do another thing I like doing. 

As you probably know based on some of the more vulnerable moments I have shared the past few days, I have been feeling a bit behind and overwhelmed in general. That said - other than the dog’s medical stuff - the overwhelm that I have been feeling is all things that are 

1. Self inflicted and 

2. Enjoyable tasks for me when I am in a more regulated state of mind. 

Don’t be afraid to analyze the boundaries you have with yourself. Do you go to bed when you want to or do you rebel against you own best interest in an effort to regain a sense of control before bedtime. Do you respect yourself enough to tidy the spaces that you know you work better after tidying? 

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Keep an open mind and see if you can squeeze anything valuable out of the experience - you may be surprised at what you gain by doing so.

How to set yourself up for a resounding TAROT session:

1. Get in an energetic alignment with the part of you that wants to gain insight from the reading. Even if its just a general reading - really take your time to breathe, get comfortable in the space and allow yourself to really buy into the experience for the time being. I have had readers that shuffle for me and some that allow me to shuffle my own read and I personally like to put my energetic alignment into the cards themselves. This helps me to connect with where I am and really get present by providing a tangible, grounding device. 

2. Set your intention for the experience you want to have. What do you want to know? Again, even if it’s a general reading - set your intention on buying in and resonating with what you can and leaving behind what you can’t.

3. Ask if you can have a moment to look at the cards without interruption for a moment and see if you have any unforeseen insights that arise by looking at the images that came up. I love how each tarot reader interprets in their own style but has the basic meanings of the cards that speak the same truth so I feel like going in with little preconceived notions about the cards at all and simply interpreting them earnestly without prejudice is a great way to kind of see or find out where you’re associating and protecting your own feelings into your own perspective of your issue or what have you. 

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even barring the magic altogether - tarot is such a powerful tool for reflection, connection, inspiration, insight, and perspective. 

Throughout my life there have been certain people that just inspire the heck out of me and fill the hell out of my cup so that when were done hanging my creativity is piqued and my inspiration is sparked and I want to clean my space and write and live. But those people typically appear like lil glimmers in my life - we may live far away or 

I have people who inspire me sure, but the ones that give me the friendship super power energy - those may be too powerful for even me to be able to be nonstop interacting with - but who knows maybe one day I will meet my match. 

The point is - the way I felt after hearing my reading left me with that feeling of inspiration. I kinda put it in the same place in my head as treadmill legs - like you feel a little lighter and a little floatier but you know it’s all in your head. 

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as always the case for me when it comes to Make your Damn Bed and basically ANY other content or human being that speaks to you ever - you should be generating your own informed opinions by looking at diverse and credible sources before communicating, or honestly even formulating, any opinions of your own, and I Julie Merica have not ever claimed to know what the hell I am talking about - so it’s all opinions.  

Long story longer - It took me a long time to be fully comfortable when my cute lil witchy friends would talk about the moon or crystals and tarot. And now I am at the point where I have fully bought in. I truly adore interactions that I don’t find boring or tedious and people who buy into magic are not only not boring but some of my favorite kind of people because they haven’t given up hope like the rest of us negative nellies - and magic is beautiful and undeniable in certain capacities even if you believe in science there is stuff science cant explain and even still - I truly think science is just the magic we CAN explain - you may remember my airplane episode - I think nearly everything cool is literal magic but here we are. 

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On a recent episode of Queer Eye (Craw Zaddy) the client (Todd) said something that hit me hard: "ya know sometimes, it's too easy too exist and too hard to live." and as someone who as fully agreed with that statement at certain times in my life, I now believe it's a trap. The effort you put into LIVING will make life easier - which will in turn make it easier to exist altogether which you'll no longer want to simply do because you'll have tasted the sweet nectar of living.

You’ll never regret showing up for yourself and if you’ve been busy just existing start slow life gets better when you choose to make it better unless you get real lucky. 

The reward system with effort is ten fold.

^^^Which is what I keep reminding myself over and over and over whenever I have a rough day/week/month like the one that is occurring for me currently as I realize I didn't save this episode properlly. Honestly, I am just overjoyed the majority of it did save. Tiny victories - and new (more specific and difficult) lessons learned.

luh you, Off to bed. BYEEEE.

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I've been vegetarian or vegan for the past 16 years so here are some of my go-to tips and tricks for increasing your plant intake and decreasing your consumption of meat. I would love to challenge you to do a meatless day every week or a meatless meal Monday or at least a mindful minute in which you search for more locally sourced products and research where your meat that you’re consuming actually comes from! It may surprise you.

If you are vegetarian maybe try vegan one day or one meal a week. 

Tag me in your favorite vegan and vegetarian recipes and I can start sharing my favorites in my newsletter if you’re interested in that, lemme know.

HAVE A GREAT DAY, SUNSHINE.

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CW: Been really reevaluating my relationship with alcohol lately.

Follow Samantha: https://www.empoweredspirituality.online/

If you have strategies that you use to set boundaries with yourself like “ill only spend $30, I’ll set intentions for every sip, I’ll switch to water after 2” whatever - let me know. Tag me @MYDBPodcast on IG or [email protected] 

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