Make Your Damn Bed

@TIKTOKTRAUMADOC shared an amazing technique for battling our negative self talk that truly has made a huge difference in the way I speak to myself. She asks us to try WHAT IFFIRMATIONS instead of affirmations. Instead of saying: 

‘I deserve love.’ Ask yourself, ‘what if I deserve love?’ 

‘I’m beautiful.’ Try ‘What if I believed I was beautiful?’

‘I love my body.’ Try ‘What if I loved my body?‘

When we form our affirmations into questions - our minds open up to the possibilities behind whatever it’s asking. Hearing a question will trigger your brain’s neural pathway to instinctively elaborate in order to react to the question. Hearing a statement presented as fact can often make us want to get defensive, but hearing a question presented as a realistic possibility? That’s where the real magic happens. 

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Good news source for this week: https://www.theskimm.com/news/10-good-news-moments-from-january-2022-5TvAkrstAJUyONg807dw8k 

Mj Rodriguez reaction: https://twitter.com/PopCrave/status/1480389921810444293?s=20 

Inspiring story: https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-12-24/conservationists-create-home-for-wildlife-north-of-l-a

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Learning how to take the note is not easy but it’s an important practice to master. The more you put yourself out there, and ask people for support the more you open yourself up to constructive criticism. Eventually, you may even seek it out as a way to level up because effectively applying constructive criticism can sometimes be the missing link between good and great work. Having someone else’s objective eyes on our process can be a great way to grow and level up, and shouldn’t be overlooked just because it can be hard to hear. 

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How to handle constructive criticism without crumbling like a nature's own bar:

• Breathe, stay calm, & just listen.
• Imagine a protective bubble that allows you to listen objectively & feel safe (you are!)
• Feel the feelings without reacting.
• If needed: cool down, ask relevant & productive follow up questions, and take appropriate accountability without deflecting.
• Reflect, apply any applicable notes, and be gentle with yourself in the process.
• Get cathartic: release in a healthy way (journal, boxing class, therapy, vent session, etc.)
• Nurture yourself extra hard for doing this work.

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Once you reframe the ideas around criticism, you can better hear out the words that are being communicated to you and you may just walk away with a new perspective.That said, even if you get good at knowing why something is happening, it can still be difficult to have to actually bone up and sit through the experience in real time. Tomorrow I will share a structured way to get through a personal critique and hopefully give you a few tips to make the process a little less painful and a bit more constructive. 

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Any time I feel particularly discouraged, hopeless, or lost and need a pick me up, I play a very fun call and response game with the universe to remind me that life can be fun and more malleable if we get intentional with ourselves and our thoughts. How to initiate a play date with the universe:

1. Choose something to visualize + manifest. 

2. Keep searching for that thing over the next week. 

That’s it. All you have to do is ask to see more _____ and you see get more ______. 

You’ll be shocked at how much you see whatever you chose. 

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Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence

"over time, we tend to optimize and conventionalize our responses to whatever life brings. Each of us develops our shorthand ways of slotting and processing everyday experiences and solving problems, and while this is no doubt adaptive—it helps us get the job done with a minimum of fuss—eventually it becomes rote. It dulls us. The muscles of attention atrophy. Habits are undeniably useful tools, relieving us of the need to run a complex mental operation every time we’re confronted with a new task or situation. Yet they also relieve us of the need to stay awake to the world: to attend, feel, think, and then act in a deliberate manner. (That is, from freedom rather than compulsion.) If you need to be reminded how completely mental habit blinds us to experience, just take a trip to an unfamiliar country. Suddenly you wake up! And the algorithms of everyday life all but start over, as if from scratch."

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Commercial breaks are actually good for you. Take a pause once in a while to remind yourself you're actually really enjoying the regularly scheduled programming.

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https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/wellness/story/81-year-tiktok-influencer-fitness-inspiration-75036202

"I think my advice is fairly simple: Do not do anything extreme - there is no need to -- and start slowly," said Rischko. "Just eat healthy, but do not chastise yourself."

"And figure out what works for you," she added. "Find a sports activity that you enjoy because if you do not enjoy it you will not last, and if you are not as disciplined as I am, find a workout partner as it is not that easy to cancel on somebody." Rischko's final advice is to start being active now.

"I just wish I had started even earlier, before I turned 55," she said.

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Travel and vacationing is incredibly amazing for your brain and your emotional and mental well-being. And according to Forbes 63% of Americans say they go six months or longer without a vacation, with more than a quarter (28%) of respondents going a year or more between trips. So, if you’re one of these people who rarely take time off to vacation and can’t see how you could afford one, reframe your life to be one big ass vacation, instead. And maybe plan a real vacation for yourself to look forward to, too. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be a staycation, if you want. A 2014 study by Gilovich and colleagues found that people were happier when they were anticipating an experience more than a material purchase. So, save your money on stuff you don’t need but feel you may want, and spend it on experiences instead. 

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