Make Your Damn Bed

Youtube channel of Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche:  https://www.youtube.com/user/MingyurRinpoche

The article I referenced: https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/3715-perspectives-defunding-mindfulness-while-we-sit-on-our-cushions-systemic-racism-runs-rampant 

I could spend a whole season talking about the value of establishing a conscious mindfulness and meditation practice. I’ll spare you the full season but for the next few days I am going to be doing a series on how to get started with a meditation practice, even if you’ve never considered doing it before. The history of mindfulness and meditation is incredibly important and often overlooked, so today we’re starting there because honoring roots is a critical piece in learning and respecting cultures without appropriating them. Plus, if we continue to choose to skip learning the real history of things, we will end up perpetuating negative cycles and losing sight of the meaning of these practices that are meant to do the opposite. So, today, I wanted to start with touching briefly on the history of meditation. 

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It’s officially time to get that thing you have been putting off done. Once and for all, today is the day. This week is the week. You know exactly the thing I am talking about, too. That damned thing that you’ve been putting off, doesn’t need to wait any longer. 

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People have far less power when we act individually. Acting together as group is where real, substantial change is made. Unions are built on this reality. And while no union is perfect, they are the collective voice of the workers, which is incredibly important in a world determined to take advantage of individuals. Unions work to put power in the people to ensure the rights and wages are protected. 

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Our thoughts, feelings, and even experiences are not always rooted in reality. More so, they are rooted in survival. The fact that we can often take a step back from a real, tangible, valid feeling and realize that we no longer feel the same affects of those feelings, proves they are real but not trustworthy advisors in our behaviors. 

Deception and distortion is built into the natural human mind for our survival. It’s our job to recognize that and change our relationship with suffering so we can not fall victim to creating more suffering than necessary just as a means of basic survival. 

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If we are truly stuck with a choice, our best hope for happiness is to simply lean in. Our brains have this miraculous power to make us feel happy, as long as we don’t focus on the what could’ve beens of life. True suffering comes less from making a “wrong" choice, and more from regretting making it. Regardless of what happens in life, our minds will typically work to synthesize happiness once again, which is in no way less valuable than the happiness we may come to expect from making what seemed to be a better choice. 

So, keep leaning in, don’t worry so damn much, and enjoy the choices you did make because they lead you here, now, which is a truly beautiful place to be. 

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Watch the Ted Talk here: The Surprising Science of Happiness by Dan Gilbert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q1dgn_C0AU

So, if we are stuck with things going one way or the other, we often overrate how much it will actually affect us, when in reality, being stuck with the less preferred choice not only will effect us less than we’d expect, we are pretty damned good at synthesizing happiness around our bad gets, anyway. This study shows that real suffering comes from the questioning of if we made the right choice, rather than the choice itself. The decision doesn’t really matter, but dwelling on that decision does. Proving, that overthinking can be our greatest enemy. 

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Be honest and up front with your people. If you feel the need to rain check and can foresee that change happening ahead of time, let them know as soon as you figure it out. You don’t have to over-explain your reasonings, but respecting other people’s time means giving them substantial time to make more plans. 

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I have often expressed how important it is to make others feel heard and seen, and that feeling we get when a stranger thinks you’re worthy of remembering your name immediately, is the most efficient way to make this happen. It’s hard to show someone you give a shit about them if you cant bother to remember their most basic identifier.

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Practicing mindfulness is to make your life better, not to make you a better employee. Ideally, we can get to a place where we can choose our well-being over the well-being of our employers.

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If you want to get something done and cant stop getting distracted? Make it difficult to access your distractions. 

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