Make Your Damn Bed

If you have an idea for what you would you like to achieve in the future, take steps towards that. But if you aren’t sure - try everything until you figure out what you don’t want, then go from there. 

Don’t let anyone rush you. You’ve got the rest of your life to figure it out. Until then, find something that best works for you right now, where you are today. Not where you’d like to be in five years. 

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Focus in on what your life means to you, allow that meaning to change with you over time, and never allow anyone else’s interpretation of that meaning affect you. It’s really not your business how they interpret it. Plus, your interpretation is probably going to change at some point anyway. So what difference does it make? You don’t need to understand the ins and outs to enjoy the ride. 

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I realize now, if you’re doing it right, life is just a series of outgrowing yourself. Those choices, behaviors, routines, friends, experiences, and priorities that you used to make time for, out of necessity or desire or fear or boredom, at some point, just don’t appeal to you anymore. And you should be so fucking happy for that. 

When you begin to outgrow yourself, whether consciously or not, you will naturally outgrow some of the people around you. There will be people who don’t understand why you’ve changed, or don’t want you to change, or want you to stay right where you are, or simply don’t relate to you after your change. This is a natural thing. It doesn’t mean you can’t still love or care or hold space for that person or that time in your life, it means you must hold space for the person you were and the person you’re becoming. 

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The world hardened me through experiences, and time and time again I would work to soften myself back up. Eventually, I established a ratio of softness and armor, of love and fear, of precaution and fearlessness. It’s not always foolproof. 

I am a mosaic of my past selves, and you are too. What does your mosaic look like?

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I am starting to believe they want us all to turn into robots. Last time I checked robots we’re free of cellulite, body hair, farts, and emotions. But robots also don’t get to experience. They don’t get to create. They don’t get to love, or to feel, or to feel peace in a body that they’ve been taught to hate. 

Being a human being is fucking beautiful. What we have been taught as imperfections - are quite literally the most natural things in the world. Even if you have the only human body that has experienced it, that makes it a human trait. You humanize your own qualities by simply being human. 

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 A repeated thought becomes a belief. A belief becomes a feeling. Those feelings and beliefs create your reality.  The insecurities that we have about ourselves become a self fulfilling prophecy as they do end up working against us to validate your truth. 

When you notice people treating you in a way and you feel hesitant or want to justify their behavior or whatever it may be stopping yourself and saying actually what if they do care what if I am worthy of love what if what if in a positive way instead of allowing your negative subconscious beliefs to hurt you continuously. 

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It’s good to be aware of when we’re talking just to talk or if we’re talking out of a place of insecurity or if we’re talking because we really believe it will foster a sense of connection. None of those reasons are inherently bad but we also need to recognize that we really don’t have to work so hard. Sometimes a simple no thank you is plenty of explanation. Sometimes a deep dive into your why isn’t warranted, expected, or appreciated. You are allowed to be a mystery to people without having to worry about how they interpret that mystery. 

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Unfortunately, we can’t have everyone we love be with us all the time forever, but we can ensure their legacies live on through our preservation of their memories. 

Ask questions, study the people you love, and let yourself enjoy the time you do have, with them. I doubt you will regret knowing too much about someone you love, so don’t be afraid to ask. You never know what magic you may uncover! 

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I really don’t think there is such thing as closure unless you’re actually ready to close the door yourself. And some doors may never close fully, and thats okay too. Just make sure you’re not reopening them for selfish reasons when you do. 

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Closure does not really exist, at least how we’ve been taught. It’s more of an internal process than an external one. 

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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