Make Your Damn Bed

Familiar will typically always be more comfortable than the unfamiliar. Even if that familiar is fairly unhealthy. Many people are miserable and comfortable. Many people can find comfort in sadness. There is no shame in it, because often, we’re so used to the sadness, anger, or shame that we don’t even realize there is another way. 

Push yourself to be uncomfortable when it means you may find more peace or joy in the future. Allow yourself to find comfort and ease in the good, and not just the familiar. 

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You’re allowed to take breaks - even from your partners - to reassess, come back, and refocus on what you need, expect, and desire in a relationship - and you can do so without burning bridges. IF you wait too long to address something, it can infect itself and cause bigger problems in the future. Why amputate if you could’ve just cleaned the scrape properly as soon as you noticed it? 

Try not to burn bridges that don’t need to be burnt. Communicate openly, with consideration for the other person’s feelings, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Taking a break may feel hard - but it’s less hard than burning bridges you may want to walk along in the future. 

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I talk about the importance of recognizing nuance in everything all the time - but we still often fall back into black and white, all or nothing thinking patterns that can cause us more harm than good. 

Let yourself be intuitive and make decisions from a place that feels good instead of afraid. 

It can and often will be both. You will have reasons to stay and reasons to go. You will have reasons to quit and reasons to try. You’ll have reasons to start and reasons to procrastinate further. You’ll have people who love you break your heart and you’ll both forgive them and fall into rage fits in the shower over the audacity of their behavior towards you who did nothing but love them. 

This is why change is hard. It’s why it feels nearly impossible to cut people off completely because normally people aren’t 100% bad - and often we’re able to hold on

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I think we get inundated with the knowledge that information, tools, and assistance is limitless - and we don’t often know where to begin. Start with something that feels realistic to your now. What tool can you integrate into your routine today that will help you tomorrow. 

Remember that new habits and routines take lots of time to get used to - and feel good doing consistently - but you’re allowed to change and drop and fix and simplify and complicate whatever the fuck you want anytime you want. 

You’re in charge of your life - but don’t forget there are plenty of people who think just like you - who have created tools that may help make your day to day living a bit easier. 

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It’s about doing what works for you - at a pace that feels good for you. It’s about finding your path to success in whatever that means to you. And since this is a new path for you - and you’re a unique individual - there is no right or wrong way through a forest - You just have to start clearing a path that makes sense to you. 

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Get in the Practice of making and keeping promises to yourself that make your life better in the long run - and not just the now. 

 Start by setting an intention for the week. You may want to think about a goal you’ve had for a long time - or something you struggle with committing to - or maybe something more specific like writing a screenplay or something big like starting college or a mindful intention like getting healthy. Whatever it is, once you’ve chosen your overarching goal - You will want to break up that task into bite sized, realistic, manageable pieces.  

By setting a reasonable daily goal to get you towards that intention and continuing to keep promises to yourself, your confidence in yourself and the project itself will increase. 

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It’s important to allow yourself criticism but it's also just as important to expect other adults to bear constructive, fair, and essential criticism too. If they get defensive and angry - that isn’t necessarily a safe place for growth. If we all want to achieve better - we have to get comfortable taking, offering, and accepting that none of us are perfect. 

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There is nothing better than getting a lurking task off of your to do list - especially if it’s been nagging you for more than a few weeks. Get out of your comfort zone - knock the shit out - then reward yourself for being such a bad ass. 

Instead of dreading that to do list every time you rewrite it and add the same old bullshit to the end of it, try breaking it up into manageable baby steps. Dedicate 10 minutes of intentional thought to the task every day for a few days and see if that helps build momentum around it. There are always ways to make things more enjoyable, by including someone’s company, adding music or entertainment options to the mix, or watching someone else on YouTube do it first. 

If you worry too much about the outcome or even the implications of what you have to do to get there - you may get overwhelmed - so instead, focus on the first step and take it. What MUST you do next to get started on the task - then do that. 

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Stop stressing and procrastinating because "it’s not going to be perfect” and make the process of planning it enjoyable - which will feel better than perfect could. Also, let’s not forget tastes change and the shit you’re obsessed with now may drive you up the wall in ten years. None of that specific shit really matters unless it’s genuinely sentimental to you.  

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Cars are a literal miracle we have become so used to - we forget how amazing it is. Think about the fuel itself. Gasoline is combustible, dangerous, and potentially deadly if not used properly. But if you harness that incredibly powerful resource, you can make cars drive across the country and literal airplanes fly into the sky. 

Our emotions are the same way. Both big emotions and jet fuel, can both cause immense destruction if they’re not controlled, or, on the contrary if you focus a more tactful release can create beautiful movement, expansion, and experience. 

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