Making It

Shadow work is one of my favourite forms of self development. It’s an introspective practice where you make the unconscious (shadow self) known to your conscious and I detail some key techniques to get you started.

Firstly, the WHY technique: whether in a journal or in an internal dialogue, you can continually ask yourself ‘WHY’ to discover and explain why something is bothering you, what’s on your mind, etc. This can help you build a chain of levels, each going a bit deeper, to create a better explanation of the causes of your triggers. It can make you realise when you’re using surface level reasons to explain your feelings and can bring issues to the surface. For example, the impact of childhood on your subconscious beliefs around money, love, friendship can arise and shadow work can help you understand yourself.

The benefits include greater self awareness, greater perception, more maturity and ultimately, being prepared can give you the insight and optimism to do better - feel better, understand yourself better, act better.

You can also use prompts, such as “It’s okay to _____” or “I feel bothered by _____”, as templates to guide your shadow work and leave it open ended so you can dive into why that topic has come to mind and what you could express about it.

From thinking about focus and discipline, I’m reminded of something I call ‘reinforced laziness’ whereby getting away with the bare minimum conditions yourself to lower the standards for yourself and this can build a resistance to deep focus and hard work and so shadow work is a tool to overcome these behaviours and attitudes you may have adopted unconsciously.

@TheMakingItPodcast

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In this episode I talk to Andrew Thorp who is passionate about storytelling in business. From working as a consultant, coach, Ted Talk speaker and podcast host, he explores the art of verbal communication and verbal PR. Together, we talk about what makes a good conversation, how to draw from your life experiences and stories and how to be interesting.

The most powerful tool you have to sell yourself is your story. And most people don’t know what their story is, what it means or what they could be saying. We are all the #1 expert on our own life experiences and so the art of storytelling comes from the lessons we extrapolate from life that can be packaged in a unique way. So get used to ‘hoovering’ up those stories and using them to make the points you want to make. ‘Hoovering’ is a technique where you log moments and stories in your life and by zooming into them for the entertaining storytelling aspect but then zooming out to share the lesson/insight gained and this can be key to having good conversations.

Andrew outlines key characteristics on how to be interesting, highlighting the importance of reciprocity and having a genuine curiosity about someone. To be interesting, you have to first be ‘interested’ and then through fielding your relevant experiences and reflection, you can add value to conversations with your stories.

In business and relationship building, storytelling is a skill worth practicing! From showing the human aspect of business, like the resilience of Nike, to allowing those soft skills to complement the technical skills you possess, during networking, storytelling and story listening is the key to meaningful and insightful bonds. If you can form a library of your stories and open up to the spontaneity of conversations, you can build organic and very powerful connections.

Check out Andrew at:

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Visualisation is a popular manifestation technique and today I talk about how to visualise, tap into senses and emotions and picture that dream you want. Paired with affirmations, this can propel your manifestations and bring about your dreams by giving you that emotional fuel to see the successful outcomes and programme your brain to make it happen! 

Visualisation is also amazing at changing your approach towards tough times, with exam periods being my main example. Through mentally rehearsing and breaking down big and scary challenges and adding detail to what our upcoming periods may involve, we can detach from negative narratives, where we only view things as stressful and unpleasant, to more positive narratives, in which difficult things can be enjoyable! 

Successful people have learnt to enjoy doing hard things and doing them often, so visualisation can us help us to that to and help us build our resistance and stretch ourselves beyond current capabilities.

Listen now and SUBSCRIBE on all platforms! 

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Today’s short and sweet episode is about a short and sweet message: Just do it! Just take the action and do that thing you’ve been thinking about. Whether it’s changing up your physical appearance or starting that passion project, I am here to encourage you to do it!

If you’re anything like me, you’re thinking about the outcomes of things and this can sometimes make us avoid taking action because we’re scared to change our minds, not reach a certain success, etc and then be judged for that. But in reality, there’s always a lesson to be learnt so whether it’s today or in the future, know that everything you do will be valuable and it’s worth going after it and taking that risk.

Hope you enjoy this episode and feel inspired to take some action! 

Follow @TheMakingItPodcast on instagram and let me know what thing you're going to take action on! 

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This week I’m talking to my wonderful friend Megan about our experience at university with self love, dating and independence. We chat about how important it is to cultivate your own ‘full’ life and put the focus on yourself, when so often it’s easy to focus on others - how amazing, cool or attractive they seem.

From putting people on pedestals to asking whether we are ‘our type’s type’, we talk about how self confidence and self love are so important within dating. With many people feeling like failures if they’re single or feeling a pressure to date, listen to this episode if you wanna hear Megan’s perspective that is laid back and open minded towards whatever happens - whether that’s finding a great partner or enjoying singlehood.

Also, it’s common to feeling FOMO, loneliness and have a strange view of guys/gals at university so Megan and I explore how to manage these, from prioritising time alone to grow to enjoy your own company and personal passions to changing the projection we have of those we crush on!

Megan also leaves us with some important takeaways: “the most attractive people are vulnerable enough to love what they love, and love it out loud”, highlighting how fab it is to focus on yourself, pursue your interests and appreciate your life, even if you do want a relationship.

Have a listen to this special episode on ALL podcast platforms now and FOLLOW and REVIEW the pod<3

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Today I’m talking about conversation cards and the main three businesses I think of in the conversation card industry.

Conversation cards aim to deepen connections by asking thought provoking questions and giving an insight into players of the game - how they think and why they think the way they do.

Cards Against Humanity, described as a game for horrible people, was the first to have popularised conversation card games and opened the gates for other companies to enter. The next company is 'We Are Not Really Strangers', which is a company that takes advantage of the instagram culture of sharing deep, thought provoking quotes and asking self care/introspective questions such as “who can you be most vulnerable with?” or “are you lying to yourself about anything?”. Founded by Koreen Odiney, WRNS, in my opinion, resembles the vibe of the NY Times ’36 questions to fall in love’ article but in a card form.

Finally, FlexMami’s REFLEX card games take a different approach with more light-hearted and debatable questions, perfect for social interactions with a mix between would you rather questions, critical thinking questions and general questions to elevate above small talk into stimulating, deeper conversation.

Conversation cards are increasingly popular to deepen connections and make conversations more interesting so it was interesting to discuss some of the biggest players in the industry and their individual niches! 

Check out the companies here:

Flex Mami’s Podcast: Bobo & Flex —> https://open.spotify.com/show/1s7eAUMUCE3klnBA0oZJzI?si=16METmOsSDG1SS0u05fqLg

https://www.werenotreallystrangers.com/

https://cardsagainsthumanity.com/

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Today I’m reading from my journal about growth and inaction. The realisation that growth isn’t linear really hit me this week and made me think about the way I gamify self development and assumed it would be like levels I could accomplish, then not have to deal with again. But instead, I’ve realised in life, not only is it not black and white, with only one person ever being fully in the wrong in a situation but both parties having some responsibility but also, you’ll be tested with similar situations and people you thought you had handled but they’ll come in new ways to test your growth and if it can withstand different circumstances.

Haley Hoffman Smith’s podcast episode on procrastination also inspired me to think about the shadow side of things we want. That level of wealth or successful business you want - what is the underbelly you are scared of that comes with achieving it? Perhaps accepting there's sacrifice and uncomfortable realisations you'll be confronted with like loneliness, having to distance from friends, working more on responsibilities. These can stop you moving towards your goals because you secretly are scared of the things you’ll have to deal with once you get there. After all, the duality of life means everything has its pros and cons.

Also, the insulation we falsely believe will come by working on ourselves reminds me of the belief that we’ll be happy when we’re rich or famous, when really we’ll still be the same human beings dealing with the same internal conflicts unless we accept growth isn’t linear and that’s okay.

Credits:

Haley Hoffman Smith: What is Procrastination Protecting You From?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3vny1gMDIffRVaJWsfivOu?si=lUghufl3QDa3rcjV0cd2mw

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Charlene Kristina is a mindset and empowerment coach who works with millenial women to level up their lives.

We unpack what it means to be a coach and why this work is so important especially for women who play small in their lives. If like me, you never fully knew the difference between a coach and therapist, this episode will be super valuable!

We also talk about daily non-negotiables such as journaling which is a key tool she uses to improve her mindset as well as chatting about combatting a scarcity mindset. The impact of childhood and seeing your parents’ relationship with money also plays a big role into how you act as an adult and she tells us about her work with clients to get to root subconscious beliefs using Emotional Freedom Techniques and Neuro Linguistic Programming

You can check out Charlene @charlene.kristina_  on instagram and on her site https://ck-coaching.com/ 

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Affirmations! Today I'm talking about the 4 key steps behind affirmations - the importance of believing in your affirmations, pairing them with action, being consistent and how to structure affirmations.

They can focus on the 'self', such as "I am worthy", or based on topics such as money "I am a magnet to money". 

We have upwards of 40,000 thoughts every single day and habits can form of speaking negatively about ourselves so affirmations are the perfect tool to restructure our thoughts and change our feelings. Soul the Disney movie perfectly illustrates the ability for your words to destroy you and keep you from your passions and purpose so affirmations can be the positive spiral that build us UP rather than tear ourselves down. Thoughts become feelings so tune in now to get some inspiration and hear about the many, many benefits of affirmations!

Follow @TheMakingItPodcast on instagram for the links to articles and to keep updated with the podcast! 

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Today I’m joined by Prisca Mians, founder of Saved to Serve - a London based gospel dance company. Prisca's journey was impacted by fear - the fear of failing, starting and importantly, the fear of being seen. She tells us how she channeled fear into faith to avoid fear taking a driving seat in her life and to help her business flourish.

Considering adaptions to online content and the growing importance of having an online presences for businesses, the fear of being seen can be amplified. But Prisca notes fear in general doesn’t ever vanish so we must get better at managing it. 

Tune into the episode to hear how to do so as well as to hear about the challenges and opportunities brought about by lockdown, miraculous alignments in business and Prisca's top five most important pieces of advice.

If you enjoy, make sure to follow and leave a review as well as check out Prisca at @sts_dance or at [email protected]

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